It wasn't long before Tao Hua woke from his spell. When he did, he found that he was now lying in the library, and he remained there until the daze finally dissipated.
He shot up to his knees, hastily darted his eyes from one side of the room to the other with enough speed that his hair practically became whips. When it became apparent that he was alone, surrounded by shelves of books and an omniscient sunset glow, that's when his breathing staggered unevenly.
Holding his hands out ahead of him, Tao Hua blankly stared at them.
"Did I cause issues?" he whispered aloud. "Is that why he's not here?"
His hands shook, almost uncontrollably. Even if Tao Hua tried to stiffen them, they'd just shake harder.
"I tried so hard to be good for the last month; why did it all have to fall apart now?" He pressed his hands to his face. "Twenty years of practice for what?!"
Unable to deal with it any longer, Tao Hua crawled off the bed and sprinted to the door with what little energy he had to spare. The moment his fingers brushed the handle, however, it surprisingly swung open.
In the frame, staring down at him with concerned confusion, was Shan Si. He was holding a tray of food, all seemingly medicinal judging by the smell.
Tao Hua just stared up at him, every inch of his body still vibrating. He watched as Shan Si entered the room, placed the tray down on the study, and knelt to Tao Hua's height. Brushing Tao Hua's hair up, he pressed his hand against his forehead, his brows furrowing.
But when he was certain Tao Hua wasn't running a fever of some sort, he moved his hand to his cheek and brushed his thumb along it.
"What's going on, Tao Hua?" he asked. "I find it hard to believe whatever's going on involves Siyue Town, or your father. But…"
Shan Si paused for a moment in thought. Tao Hua placed his hand on his arm, keeping himself upright. Though Shan Si was right—most of this didn't involve his past life—it was as if what was currently happening screamed everything he'd gone through.
"If it's your father's ghost, then all you have to do is say the word and I'll handle it for you," Shan Si assured, watching as Tao Hua's expression crinkled, leaning into Shan Si's hand. "And if it's a certain relative of mine…the same applies."
Despite his promise, Tao Hua could easily see in Shan Si's eyes that saying such was already difficult for him. He couldn't inconvenience him more than what had already been done.
So, his eyes fell, avoiding the pale that peered into his, but the hand that was placed on Shan Si's arm just tightened, tugging at the black fabric.
"Please, Tao Hua. I know that when you stop speaking it means you have a thousand things you want to say," Shan Si begged, something that was a rarity for him to do. This made things harder for Tao Hua to stomach, and his lips curved into a frown that, even if he tried, he couldn't turn back into a smile.
"Promise…me that you won't leave, please," Tao Hua whispered, his fingers clenching around the fabric. "Please."
There was a silence between the two until Shan Si finally rose to his feet, sending a wave of anxiety churning Tao Hua's stomach. As if it could do anything, he clutched tightly onto Shan SI's robe until his knuckles went white.
However, to his surprise, Shan Si didn't walk away. He bent toward Tao Hua, slipped his fingers between the black strands of hair and blue bow, slightly tilting Tao Hua's head up.
And then it was as if the world finally went quiet. No static noise, no racing thoughts, no vibration. Tao Hua's eyes widened, and his heart thumped, rhythmically, slowing down with each passing second.
Against his forehead, Shan Si pressed his lips, and when pulled away, Tao Hua could still feel the heat of his breath as he said, "I won't leave you, Tao Hua."
Tao Hua's hand loosened against the fabric, releasing every bit of pressure. Then, as he was still trying to process things, Shan Si used his other hand and pulled him into a hug, enough that Tao Hua's shocked expression smothered into his chest.
"From now on, you're to only listen to me—especially when it involves me. Understood? All other bullshit statements can be tossed aside," Shan Si ordered. However, his voice lowered significantly, and it was hard to tell just what his intentions were when saying, "And…if you find the world around you terrifies you, then you only ever need to look at me. I'm the only thing that matters."
Lids lowering, Tao Hua slowly nodded, weakly enveloping his arm around Shan Si's chest. Though muffled, he still responded, "Okay. I promise."
The corners of Shan Si's lips curved upward, and they parted somewhat, as if slightly proud of his accomplishment. Shan Si rested his chin, and his words echoed against Tao Hua's skull.
"One more thing—there's one more thing I need you to promise me, Tao Hua," Shan SI began, rubbing the back of Tao Hua's head.
"I promise," Tao Hua replied without even chancing Shan Si's questions. This made Shan Si laugh before he cleared his throat to speak.
"You didn't even hear me out?"
"I promise. Anything you want."
"What a dangerous proposal." Shan Si sighed halfheartedly. "Too dangerous. Very well. You have to promise me that between us, there will be no more lying. Understood?"
Tao Hua froze, his eyes shooting open. He knew very well that there was much he hadn't told Shan Si—did that also account for a lie? Retracing his steps wasn't something he was amazing at.
Eventually, Shan Si moved them over to the daybed, where he probed Tao Hua to explain everything that had happened.
Sitting on the edge next to Shan Si, feet ever-so-slightly swinging against the wood, Tao Hua finally broke and opened up about the dreams. He described them in as much detail as possible, stopping and stuttering when explaining Shan Si's role in it.
Up until Tao Hua got to the point of Shan Si's reaction, he turned his head away from him, eyes engulfed in regret. He had one hand clenched against his lap and the other atop it.
To see Shan Si like this, well, it was partly why Tao Hua struggled to open up.
"It seems I owe you more explanations than you do truths," Shan Si bitterly laughed.
Chapter end.