The room spun.
Applause crashed around me, louder than it should have been. My hands trembled around the glass of juice.
Engaged.
He knew he was getting engaged… and he still led me on until the very last moment.
My vision blurred. The sound of the crowd faded until all I could hear was the pounding of my own heart. Tears slipped down my face silently.
Josh was saying something beside me, but I was too far gone to understand him.
He used me.
He played with my emotions and used me for his pleasure—nothing more than a plaything.
The room felt like it was closing in.
"I can't breathe," I whispered, though the cheering around me swallowed the sound.
I moved without thinking—one step, then another. Somehow I made it out of the hall and into the night air. I walked blindly until I found myself standing near the small riverbank behind the estate.
My breaths came in sharp, desperate pants.
I dropped to the ground, my chest tight, refusing to give me air. Tears streamed down my face as panic clawed its way through me.
"Lani!"
Through my blurred vision, I saw Josh running toward me.
He dropped to the ground beside me, his hands gently cupping my face. He didn't crowd me, but he was close enough that I could feel his presence.
"Lani, I'm right here. You're safe. This will pass," he said softly.
Josh was a medical student. Soon he would be a doctor.
"I c-can't b—bre—breathe," I stammered, struggling for air.
"Okay. Let's breathe together," he said calmly. "In through your nose for four… hold for two… and out through your mouth for six. Can you do that for me, baby girl?"
I nodded weakly.
He counted the first time, his voice steady.
But my mind kept flashing back to that moment inside.
They were engaged.
"H-he… used me."
"No, no, not that," Josh murmured quickly. "Focus on my voice. I'm breathing with you. Slow and steady."
I forced myself to concentrate on him—the only stable thing in my spinning world.
Air slowly filled my lungs again.
"That's it," he said gently. "Good girl. Can you name something you can see?"
"You," I whispered. "I see you."
A small smile touched his lips.
"I see you too."
He guided my hands to his chest so I could feel the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath my palms.
His eyes searched mine—soft, patient, understanding.
Josh had always been there. Quietly. Constantly. Like someone who never wanted to see me hurt.
To him, I wasn't the girl who betrayed her best friend.
I was just Lani.
My fingertips brushed his lips lightly.
Maybe it was pain. Maybe it was anger. Maybe it was the desperate need to feel something other than heartbreak.
But right now, Josh was the only place that felt safe.
Slowly, I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his.
The kiss was soft, almost fragile.
He didn't pull away. He didn't rush it either. He let it linger just long enough for me to feel the warmth of what he felt for me.
Safety.
When I pulled back, my breathing was still uneven, but the crushing panic had eased.
And beneath the ache of losing Mason…
something else stirred quietly inside me.
Hope.
Josh walked me back toward the building, stopping somewhere the loud cheering from the party couldn't reach us.
"Here," he said, handing me a glass of water.
I drank slowly while he watched me like a worried mother hen.
"I'm going to keep the baby," I finally said after a long silence.
"Of course you are."
He said it like there had never been another option.
But there had been. A terrible one. An easy way out.
Still, I had made up my mind. My child wasn't going to suffer because of my foolishness.
I didn't need Mason.
"Thank you," I whispered.
Josh smiled softly, his fingers brushing the tear tracks on my cheeks.
"I have a plan," he said. "It's a stupid plan, but if it works—and if you agree—it'll be perfect."
"W-what pla—"
The doors behind us opened.
Mason stepped in.
Confusion crossed his face the moment he saw us together.
My chest tightened immediately.
I didn't want to see him. I didn't want to hear his voice.
"No," I said quickly, stepping closer to Josh.
Josh instantly shifted in front of me.
"She doesn't want to talk to you, Mason," he said firmly, pressing a hand against Mason's chest to stop him from coming closer.
The tension between them was instant and thick.
I knew Josh had always had feelings for me. And once upon a time, I thought Mason did too.
Their friendship had started cracking the moment I began sleeping with Mason.
"Get the fuck off me," Mason snapped, his fists clenching so tightly his knuckles turned white.
"Take the hint," Josh replied coldly. "She doesn't want you."
"And she wants you now?" Mason scoffed bitterly. "You're pathetic."
His eyes shifted to me.
"Lani, we need to talk."
I glanced at Josh.
He hesitated, clearly hating the idea, but he stepped aside.
"I want you to know something," Mason began, his voice softer now. "What I said at school… about you being a sl— I didn't mean it. I was angry. I thought you had something going on with him."
"It doesn't matter, Mason," I said quietly. "You don't love me. You never have."
"I do love you, Lani," he insisted quickly. "It's complicated. I thought I had more time. I didn't—shit."
"Engaged, Mason," I said, my voice breaking slightly. "You knew all along you never wanted me."
"I never planned this engagement!" he said desperately. "My parents—"
"That's a lie," I cut in. "You didn't defend me when your mother practically called me a slut."
"I'm sorry!" he shouted. "But you don't know what it's like being me. I didn't make this decision. I love you—I do—but I can't leave Rixa."
For a moment, I almost believed him.
But believing him would make me a fool.
I tried to pull away, but he grabbed my arm again.
"Let go of me."
Josh stepped forward instantly and shoved Mason back.
That was enough to ignite the fight.
"I always knew you wanted her, you lying snake!" Mason shouted at Josh. "She'll never love you—not the way she loves me!"
"You think so?" Josh shot back. "She's already my girlfriend."
I stared at him in shock.
"And I plan on keeping it that way."
Mason snapped.
He lunged forward and punched Josh square in the face.
They crashed to the ground, fists flying.
"Stop it!" I screamed. "Both of you, stop!"
Josh managed to pin Mason down and landed another punch, splitting his nose.
"You fucking stole her from me!" Josh roared.
My heart pounded as I forced myself between them.
They froze immediately, both unwilling to risk hitting me.
Mason's nose was bleeding. Josh's lip was cut.
The sight of them like this made my stomach twist.
They were supposed to be like brothers.
"Lani," Mason said breathlessly, reaching for me. "Come with me. I can fix this. Trust me."
Fix it?
He couldn't fix anything.
So I made my choice.
I stepped closer to Josh.
Mason's face hardened.
He spat blood onto the floor before glaring at Josh one last time.
Then he stormed out, slamming the door behind him.
Josh wiped his lip with a handkerchief before turning back to me.
"Do you trust me?" he asked quietly.
I looked into his eyes.
And realized that somehow… I did.
More than anyone.
He took my hand and led me back into the celebration hall.
Across the room, I spotted Mason sitting beside Rixa. She was holding a handkerchief to his nose, frowning in concern.
Josh didn't even slow down as we walked past them.
Instead, he guided me toward a booth where a young woman and a middle-aged man were sitting together.
"Josh, sweetie!" the woman said brightly. "We've been looking everywhere for you."
She leaned comfortably against the man beside her.
Josh turned to them.
"Mom. Dad." He gestured toward me. "This is Lani Bush… my girlfriend."
I froze.
Both of them looked surprised—but pleased.
"Oh," his mother said with interest.
Josh squeezed my hand.
"And she's pregnant," he added calmly.
Silence fell over the table.
"With my baby."