Back in the courtroom, Delivery Minion coughs out his final word of the tale.
Magic Minion takes a cursory glance to the nice big windows to look outside and see how repairs are going. The hole inside of the center tower's area is so great one could put an entire brigade inside. But thankfully, everyone who was exploded has since come back together, their bodies regenerating as their ether finally found its paired parts and clung back together piece by piece.
Being "magic" is cool that way.
Magic Minion gets a specific twinge on the side of her jaw as she smirks at the sight of the High Overlord's massive paper-mâché form, crippled over on the ground and in multiple pieces, half burnt.
"So you put a completely unidentified package next to these others, which had the ability to trigger the spells of all the other suspicious packages?" Prosecution Minion says with a matter-of-fact tone. Now he's even crossing his arms. He's sure he's won the case by the witnesses' testimony alone.
Delivery Minion pauses. He understands how bad it's going to sound if he answers this as just a simple "yes-or-no" question, but he knows he has little choice in the matter. "Well... yes," he says, winning a bemused "Boo!" from the audience and jury. "I, uh... never knew magic could do that."
Prosecution Attorney Minion shrugs. "And you call yourself a delivery minion."
But this, of course, causes Delivery Minion to get really angry all of a sudden. Indignant, like a wild animal had suddenly been birthed from his mind and is already out for blood. "What did you say?" Delivery Minion asks with a knife-point glance.
Prosecution Minion scoffs, finishing his pace on the other side of the room. "I said: what kind of lousy, no-good delivery minion would not even know that about delivering enchanted mail?!"
"I am what I do!" Delivery Minion shouts, leaping up on the pulpit and dive-bombing Prosecution Attorney Minion.
As those who know him well understand, Delivery Minion's exceptionally long fuse of patience is cut short only on the question of his ability as a purveyor of parcels – to question this is to invite a sharp rebuke from him at best, and a fight any other time.
Following is a massive upset as Delivery Minion essentially smashes in the skull of the much taller, much larger, but woefully unprepared and unspirited Prosecution Attorney Minion. Holiday Minion slaps his face in woe as Magic Minion, perfectly pleased by the goings-on, chuckles at the display.
Prosecution Attorney Minion reels back to try and grab a chair, but Delivery Minion is already where he intends to be, jabbing a blink-fast knee into his target's face and collapsing it into an ether-white blast of infusia. There's a crash, and the dust settles. Delivery Minion stands over the unconscious Prosecution Attorney Minion with the look of a man who's reclaimed his honor.
"The prosecution rests," Delivery Minion snips, just before Bailiff Minion can finally tackle him.
But just before round two of the brawl begins, the doors to the courtroom open.
"We found him!" Scout Minion squeaks with a bloodthirsty grin on her face.
Everyone looks at the scarfed minion with total stupefaction and excitement.
"No way," Magic Minion scoffs under her breath.
In the blink of an eye, everyone piles out of the room (Defense Attorney Minion picking up Prosecution Attorney Minion and carrying him along just in case he recovers in time to see the saboteur be totally destroyed by their master). They step out of the courtroom to see, tied up and with the paint removed, one of Overlord Delirium's minions – those fuzzy, bluish gray pig creatures from her home dimension.
"And I'd do it again!" he shouts. "If it wasn't for you star skins seeing through things I'd be clear out of here by now!" The furry fellow shouts just before receiving a curt, professional backhand slap from Scout Minion.
"And you can just keep your [REDACTED] mouth shut," she snips before grabbing his collar and tugging him along. "He hasn't shown up, so we'll go to him. To The Overlord!" she directs.
The crowd at-large is very fond of this idea, and they march up into Central Tower's Center Tower – the one that is inside of the massive, gigantic tower that sits inside of the already quite gigantic tower. They parade the minion of the enemy overlord up the flights of steps, up past the various meeting rooms, tea rooms, and throne rooms, and straight up to Chaos's little cabana floor, where he lays back on a chair, enjoying a magical sunrise in the sand of an arcane ocean.
"Poppi, Sir!" Scout Minion starts. "Look who I found! A minion of that BITCH Delirium! This is the one that blew up your statue, destroyed your presents, and ruined your birthday cake!" she exclaims, certain that this is that minion's final moments of life.
Overlord Chaos, taller than them all by a good deal, continues slurping his cup noodles as he looks over in surprise. He looks at the thousands of minions piling into his nice little private island dimension, connected by the magic doorway, and he gives a quick gulp before returning a grin. "It's my birthday?"
The waves brush against the shore in perfect silence.
Overlord Delirium's minion, hyperventilating in fear, looks around in confusion as Scout Minion brings the strength to herself to just… shrug.
"Well, yeah, Poppi, it's your birthday today," she says.
Putting aside his cup noodles and standing up to his full, towering height, he scratches his chin like a tired father. "Ah... well, let's get right to it, shall we? Is everything ready down below?" he asks, walking, bypassing the obviously terrified minion of a rival overlord, and giving Scout Minion a quick pat on the head as he passes by.
"Uhhh..." Scout Minion flinches as she tries to explain the situation. "No, sir," she says as Chaos starts down the steps, with an enormous amount of minions following along. "S-sir, it's not like that at all. Not at all. He... he ruined everything. This... this guy—" Scout Minion says, easily picking up the saboteur and shaking him by the scruff of his neck. "—he ruinedeverything."
"There is simply no way to ruin a birthday," Overlord Chaos says with a wide grin, "not if you have everyone you want to attend, at least," he adds, popping out of the central tower, all the way down the steps – not slowing down for anyone, as he eventually goes all the way around the many flights of stairs to the very ground floor. He opens the door to see the gigantic, smoking crater, the ruined cake, and his statue, leaning over pitifully. He nods with a smile. "Very modern," he says. "Good work!"
Holiday Minion, who has been trembling pathetically, not unlike a melted blob of some emulsified version of himself, pauses a moment. "G-good work?" he repeats back.
Chaos nods, placing his hands on his hips proudly and grinning at the display. "And look at all this cake everywhere," Chaos says. "What an ingeniously convenient idea! It's all over the place. I can just walk over here and have a piece of cake!" he says, scooping a thick sheet of icing off one of the nearby signs before tasting it. "Delicious. Good smoky flavor. I've already decided: this is my best birthday yet."
And the minions have no choice but to agree.
End of Tale Two