Myra was still sitting in front of me, playing with her toys.
Just then the door opened. Disha came back inside. She looked at us and smiled.
"Looks like she likes you" she said.
I didn't know what to say so I just nodded.
She placed the fruit tray down and walked closer. Did she trouble you ?
I shook my head quickly.
No.. she didn't.
Disha sat behind us. For a few seconds everything felt normal.
But my mind... was not normal. It kept going back to Rudra. I hesitated for a moment.
Then asked quietly-
Where is Rudra now ?
Disha 's smile faded a little.
He is handling something outside, she said.
I looked down slightly. Handling something...
Myra suddenly grabbed my hand again.
"Don't be sad" she said innocently.
I forced a small smile. I'm not sad.
But Disha was watching me like she understood more than I said.
You are thinking too much, she said.
I stayed quiet. Because she was right.
But I couldn't stop thinking about Rudra.
After a few minutes she said softly-
Let's go outside you will feel better.
I looked at her for a moment but didn't say anything. Stil.... I followed her.
Myra was already excited, holding my hand tightly as we walked. We reach the end of the corridor. A door was slightly open ahead.
Cold air slipped in from outside. My steps slowed. Something inside me didn't feel ready to go out. Disha noticed.
You don't have to go if you don't want to, she said gently.
Before I could answer-
Myra suddenly ran ahead. Come ! she said happily. As I stepped outside the world felt different. Cars were parked outside. People moved quietly toward the area.
Not normal people.... I could feel it.
Myra was playing near the steps.
Disha stood behind me.
Then a voice came-
Why are you out here ? I turned immediately.
Rudra stood there.
Disha straightened slightly.
I brought her out, she said calmly.
Rudra looked at me for a moment in silence.
Then he said- "Come inside."
Rudra turned and started walking inside.
I stood there for a second then followed him.
The house felt quieter now, the outside noise disappeared. Disha gently held Myra 's hand and guided her away.
I will take her inside, she said.
Myra waved at me before leaving. I forced a smile back. And then it was just me and Rudra again. He didn't stop walking until we reached a more private room.
Then he finally turned to face me.
I stayed quiet for a second then asked-
So you told me that you don't trust what will happen to me if I go with them. Right ?
Rudra looked at me immediately.
Yes, he said calmly.
Okay so if something happens to me why do you care ?
Rudra went completely silent for a moment.
Then he said-
I don't know how to explain it in a way that you will understand right now.
I frowned slightly. That's not the answer.
He exhaled slowly. His voice lowered.
Then listen carefully. Rudra stepped a little closer. Not aggressive just serious.
If something happens to you it won't feel like just someone got hurt, it will feel like someone I should have saved but I didn't.
I looked at him. So you feel responsible.
Rudra shook his head slightly. "No"
That confused me.
Then what is it ? I asked.
Rudra looked away for a second his voice dropped even lower this time.
"It's not responsibility."
"It's something I can't ignore.".
The room went quiet again.
And this time I didn't push him further because I could feel it that he was telling the truth.