Oh! Oh, hello. Your great show star, Naoki speaking.
And welcome to... "THE NAOKI SHOW"!
Not trying to celebrate early, or trying to foreshadow things early.
But I'll tell you, I am your narrator tonight. Let's get started, shall we?
And shall I say...
***
This is a story of a young man named... Naoki.
You're seeing that short individual?
Yeah, I see him too.
Anyway, he woke up cheerfully to his Katy Perry alarm like never before. Stretched his knees, sucked his thumb, and ran downstairs.
"Naoki! No running down the stairs."
That's Sumiko, Naoki's mom. She's my mom too, in case you don't know, she's really mad to everyone who runs down their stairs.
"Yes, mom."
Naoki walked to the kitchen in what could only be described as a physically questionable manner.
He grabbed a bowl. Then a box of cereal—chocolate cereal, to be specific.
Priorities.
As Naoki poured the cereal into the bowl...
"Eat the rice and vegetables from the stove! You need more carbohydrates."
"Yes, Mom."
And just like that, the bowl was pushed aside. Then, a second bowl replaced it.
Rice. Vegetables. No joy. Geez… I hate vegetables.
"I humbly receive," he muttered.
And so, he ate. And ate.
While very clearly pretending he wasn't sad.
"See? It's not that bad after a few mouthfuls."
That's Ryusei, Naoki's dad. Also my dad. He's lying. It actually gets worse after a few more mouthfuls.
"Really, Dad?"
"Shhh! I'm trying to get around your mother, so keep eating," he whispered.
"What was that?" Mom asked.
"Nothing, honey. I'm just going to open the restaurant." At this moment, Dad is in a defensive stance.
"This early?" And here it comes. The first jab.
"Without even eating breakfast?"
"Oh, hon, you see--"
"So, I guess you're full? Or you don't like my cooking? Or you're planning to eat… somewhere else?" Oh! The full barrage!
It doesn't matter what he says. Every answer leads to-
"No."
"Then eat."
…the finishing blow! That's gotta hurt!
"Don't even try, Dad. Don't even try."
"Yeah…"
Dad sits at the table with his food, preparing to go through the same battle I just survived.
Then, he sees the bowl of cereal.
He reaches for it.
"Don't! That's for someone."
"You mean Saitou? You keep giving him food every morning."
"It's just… not letting food go to waste. Oh. He just eats so little every morning, and it's my job to feed life saviors. By the way, I'm heading out!"
And just like that, Naoki got ready, throwing on his favorite red hoodie over his so-called "conservative" school uniform, brushing his teeth, grabbing his favorite red backpack and, of course, the bowl of glorious chocolate cereal.
"I'll head out this time! For real."
"Don't forget the milk."
"Right, the milk. Thanks, Mom!"
"And the spoon!"
"Right, the spoon. Thanks, Dad!"
And so, Naoki headed out. With the cereal. With the milk... and the spoon. Can't forget the spoon. Thanks, Dad.
After a few steps, he reached another house. Quite big, clean as it can get.
Then the door opened.
And out walked… probably one of the finest creatures ever crafted on Earth.
"You got my cereal?"
That's Saitou. My best friend, my boss, and my peanut buddy butter.
Just imagine it. black hoodie, messy hair, baby face, those Tony Stark glasses, steely eyes… and a jacked physique.
Yeah. He has everything.
"Right here."
"Thank you."
And the walking game continues.
"Tonight's your premiere, right? Come to my place, we've got an underground home theater."
"Dad's actually playing the show at the restaurant tonight."
"But I already invited Yuta."
"…"
Naoki's heart stopped.
"Y-y-y… Yuta?"
He laughed nervously. "I'm a human pretzel," he muttered.
"What did you do?"
"Nothing."
"What did you do, Naoki?"
At this point, the dwarf has no choice.
"I definitely did not steal his bike for the show. And I definitely did not scratch it. And I definitely did not destroy the rear end. Please save me."
…Yeah. He's done.
"You know how he gets when he's angry. He looks straight into your eyes…"
Naoki gulped.
"…he asks you a very calm question…"
Naoki gulped.
"…then he grabs your collar…"
"…and hangs you off the school rooftop."
The last spoonful of cereal disappeared.
Silence.
Even the smallest sound could've been a jumpscare.
"MEEEEEHHH!"
Suddenly, a gray goat came sprinting out of a vegetable store.
"Hey! Get back here! I'm sorry, you two!"
"It's okay."
"Yeah… it's okay."
Naoki exhaled, still recovering from the horror. Honestly, what kind of soul wouldn't try to escape after that?
Just a few more steps…
…and they'd reach the school.