To anyone who didn't know the truth, they looked like a happy, affectionate father and son.
Every time the child's clear laughter rang out, my chest tightened painfully for some reason.
What was this feeling?
Guilt? Sadness? Self-blame?
After standing there silently watching the child and Kallian for a long time, I finally came back to my senses.
This wasn't the time to be spacing out.
I had already made my position clear to him.
That the child didn't need a father.
That he had no right to say such things.
Was it because I didn't give in easily that he changed his target to the child?
Had he simply ignored everything I said yesterday?
Anger surged at his thoughtless behavior.
Under no circumstances could the child find out that he was his father.
Having made up my mind, I walked toward them.
I willingly chose to become the one who would ruin their happiness.
"Denian."
At my call, Denian—who had been laughing happily while clinging to Kallian's neck—turned toward me.
With a bright, innocent face, he greeted me cheerfully.
"Mom! Mister Kal found Denian!"
It seemed Denian believed Kallian had come all the way here to find him.
In reality, he had only visited the imperial palace as the head of his house, but I didn't have the heart to tell the excited child such a cold truth.
Kallian simply looked at the child with a serious expression.
Sensing the tension in my mood, Denian slowly lowered the corners of his mouth.
Kallian also noticed my expression and carefully put the child down.
"Denian, didn't Mom tell you not to talk freely with strangers in the palace?"
At my firm tone, the child fiddled with his small hands and muttered,
"But… Mister Kal isn't just anyone…"
When Denian shrank his shoulders sadly, Kallian stepped forward.
"I approached Denian first, out of happiness."
Seeing him shielding the child only made me more irritated.
Why was he suddenly acting like a father now?
A man who suited the word 'father' less than anyone else in the world.
Why now?
I gave up talking to him and spoke even more sternly to Denian.
"Denian, come here."
After hesitating while glancing at Kallian, Denian slowly walked toward me.
Seeing the small child standing before me with his head lowered, I softened and bent down to his eye level.
Holding his tiny shoulders gently, I spoke as if calming him.
"Promise me you won't talk to strangers carelessly again."
"But Mister Kal—"
The child, who usually listened so well, refused to back down, and my heart sank.
Was this really what people meant when they said blood couldn't be denied?
Feeling hurt, I drew an even harsher line.
"Denian."
The child's lips trembled, forming a tight pout, and tears welled up.
"Mom doesn't like me making friends, right?"
"What?"
"You're afraid people will find out I look like a monster again… You're embarrassed and trying to hide me, right?"
"Denian, what are you saying? You know that's not true. You can make friends anytime when we return to the estate."
Even as I tried to comfort him, Denian lowered his head and muttered,
"Mister Kal is Denian's friend."
I couldn't bring myself to say anything.
Then the child suddenly turned around and ran into the palace.
All I could do was stare at his small retreating figure.
And my anger turned entirely toward Kallian.
"Didn't you understand what I said yesterday?"
At my cold question, Kallian lowered his head with an uncharacteristically timid expression.
Seeing him like that only made me more uncomfortable, because his face overlapped with Denian's in my mind.
"At first, I only planned to watch from afar and leave…"
He trailed off, then smiled bitterly.
"But when our eyes met, I couldn't just walk past. He looked so happy… how could I?"
"Stop."
I cut him off sharply.
At my cold voice, he looked at me.
Staring at him frostily, I drove the point home.
"Stop playing with shallow emotions involving the child."
Leaving him frozen, I added cruelly,
"For now, it might feel affectionate and pitiful just watching from afar. But that's temporary. I know you well."
Again.
With every cutting word, Kallian looked at me like a wounded animal.
The fact that his expression shook me made me hate myself.
"You're someone who doesn't care about his own child. Even if your child died in front of you, you wouldn't blink."
Kallian gasped, his face filled with pain.
"Why do you think of me that way…?"
Why?
Because you did exactly that.
Right in front of my eyes.
I forced down the emotions threatening to explode and took a deep breath.
"Leave immediately."
Then, barely managing to finish, I added,
"And never appear before my child or me again."
At my firm command, he couldn't argue and lowered his head deeply.
Seeing him act so unlike himself only annoyed me more.
I almost wished all his memories would return so he'd go back to being forceful and unreasonable.
Turning away dejectedly, Kallian paused and said one last thing without turning back.
"…The child did nothing wrong. Please don't be too harsh on him."
With only those words, he quietly left the garden.
Watching his retreating figure, all strength drained from my body.
Feeling like I might collapse, I dropped onto a nearby bench.
I lowered my head and buried my face in my hands.
"Why… why are you doing this to me…?"
I almost wished he would demand compensation over the Heister matter instead.
Why was he shaking my life and my child now with this ridiculous talk of feelings?
I hated him. I resented him deeply.
Feeling moisture on my palms, a hollow laugh escaped me.
Why am I crying?
As if I still had feelings for him.
No. These tears were because things weren't going as planned.
Because I felt sorry for my child.
Clinging to that thought, I slowly stood up.
I was worried about Denian, who had run into the palace.
The image of him crying haunted me, and I hurried toward his room on the first floor.
I hadn't meant to push him so hard.
What fault did a child who didn't even know Kallian was his father have?
Regret came rushing in too late.
I should apologize to him.
Tell him properly that it wasn't because I was ashamed of him—but because I loved him too much and worried.
I remembered how, at Vent Castle, Denian—who never complained—had stubbornly refused to leave, saying strange things like his father abandoned him because he was a monster.
This time, I planned to clearly tell him that wasn't true.
With those thoughts, I stood before Denian's room and knocked gently.
But there was no response.
"Denian… can I come in?"
No answer came from inside.
"Denian…?"
A mother's terrible instinct crawled up my spine.
With a chill, I flung the door open and rushed inside.
Denian wasn't there.
Only the terrace glass door stood wide open.
My eyes trembled as I looked toward the terrace.
No…
I ran out of the room in panic.
Ignoring the servants asking what was wrong, I wandered through the palace like a madwoman.
"Denian! Denian!!"
But he was nowhere to be found.
Returning to his room, I stepped onto the open terrace.
Beyond it stretched the vast imperial capital—so large it could pass for an entire city—surrounded by towering mountains.
Looking at that endless view, my legs gave out.
"Denian…!"
Denian had disappeared from the palace.