"To answer your question," Peter said, "my early days as Spider-Man were not that chaotic. I stopped a serial killer, then shortly after I was caught in a gang war. I lost someone I considered my brother, and a police officer I respected."
Several people grimaced. "But I got back on my feet. I faced Norman Osborn, the Monster Green Goblin, defeated him in the fight, and...."
Little by little he began to recount the important parts of his life, hiding one or two things but nothing relevant to the larger story.
Everyone grimaced when he described dealing with Norman, and Peter 616 quietly began to wonder whether it was a good idea to keep allowing Osborn to operate freely.
Peter explained that someone like Norman was beyond repair, his mind too broken to be reached by conventional means.
He then described the incident with Richards, which earned him an angry grimace, and genuine astonishment when he revealed he was in a relationship with both a woman Peter 616's age and a former cop.
Peter 616 had to admit that his counterpart's beginning as Spider-Man was already full of chaos unlike anything he had experienced himself.
He never fought in a gang war within weeks of getting his powers.
What amazed him even more was learning that in his counterpart's dimension, Peter Parker was the youngest millionaire ever recorded.
"You work with the police?" Jessica Drew asked with genuine interest, while Peter 616's eyebrow twitched slightly.
"Yes. Sometimes they give me cases to investigate."
"Wow. I never thought you would pursue that kind of work," Jessica Drew said, looking at her boyfriend with a pointed expression.
"Maybe if you did, they would like you more." She said this with obvious mockery.
"I am a police investigator and consultant. I once solved a homicide in five minutes," Peter said.
This made Jessica Drew open both her eyes and her mouth, which earned her a mocking look from Peter 616.
"Just as I created a base element of quantum energy, and a variation by combining Adamantium and Vibranium."
The room went completely silent as everyone stared at him. "What? It is nothing out of this world. What is out of this world is that I created a serum that gives animals human-compatible DNA, and I implanted this serum in my children."
"Children?" Peter 616 said.
"Yes. Children." He took out his wallet and showed them photographs.
Valeria and Franklin arrived just as he was showing them and looked at the photos alongside the women.
Everyone was impressed. He explained who each child was and what their names were.
At one point Peter 616 made a joke about hoping the dimension would not fall under the control of chimpanzees, which made him roll his eyes.
The day passed between stories from both Peters and conversations with the women.
At one point they started playing board games with the children, and in a short time the atmosphere felt completely natural, like family.
By the end of the evening, Peter found himself with a microphone in his hand.
"I cannot believe I am doing this," he said. He searched for a song on his phone and found the one he wanted. He looked up and winked at Peter 616, who raised an eyebrow.
He sang it with full commitment, and at the midpoint Peter 616 joined him without being asked. The children sang along too. By the end of it the room felt like something worth being in.
Peter 616 nodded to him in thanks for the song when it ended. Once he finished and bowed slightly to the applause, the gesture briefly called up a flash of a memory he did not examine too closely.
After the song, Susan cut the birthday cake and gave everyone a piece.
Although it was good, nothing compared to his own preferences. Once he finished, he was about to make himself another Martini when a vortex appeared in the middle of the room. He sighed.
"Well, it seems my transport has arrived." The children pouted and ran to hug him. "I promise that once I am finished with the machine, I will visit."
"You promised. Do not break your word," Valeria said.
"I am a gentleman, and when I make a promise, I give 110% to keep it."
"Okay. We believe you," Franklin said.
"We will miss you, Uncle Jason. And thank you for the sabers!" They said this, then ran off and resumed their battle.
Because of his enhanced hearing, he could hear their conversation as he walked away.
"Hello, everyone," Franklin said, clearly imagining some soldiers.
Ignoring the children, he shook Peter 616's hand, and as he did, red particles began to surround him, causing his suit to materialize back into place.
"It was a pleasure meeting you all," Peter said.
"Likewise," the women said.
"I hope to see you soon," Peter 616 said.
"Likewise." Just as he was about to enter the vortex, he stopped and turned his head to look at Peter 616.
"By the way, I am sleeping with the very beautiful version of Aunt May." He left everyone in shock with that comment. "Incest is in our blood."
And with that, he crossed through the vortex.
Thump.
All the girls watched with concern as Peter 616 fainted after hearing what the other Peter had said.