I woke up from a full night's deep sleep, which only came after your body decided it was done with your shit.
'What a weird dream? Must be all that Alien fumes rushing up my brain…'
I thought as I remembered flashes of the absurd meeting I had with RNGesus.
Instinctively, I stretched my battered limbs as I sat up in bed and opened my mouth to let out a massive yawn, only to completely freeze midway through.
Nakime was right there, sleeping soundly with her legs sprawled out awkwardly on the cold wooden floor, her head and hand resting gently on the sill of my bed.
'… What? Do demons even need to sleep?'
I stared at her as my brain tried to process the sheer absurdity of the image.
Moving as slowly and quietly as possible, I carefully got up, making sure not to make a single sound.
As I was about to leave the room, I quickly grabbed a blanket and gently draped it over her shoulders.
Despite being completely exhausted and having dealt with the absolute nightmare of Trapping Omni-Man in the castle and dealing with its destruction for two whole days, she'd still spent last night taking care of my broken ass.
"You're too good for me," I muttered under my breath as I crept out to find a bath.
Let me just state for the record, this place was the absolute worst place to navigate.
Even just trying to find a damn toilet was an ordeal, let alone a whole hot spring.
If it wasn't for my mini-map ability, I would have been wandering this wooden labyrinth for the entire day.
Once I finally found the hot water, I practically boiled myself alive, thoroughly scrubbing my skin raw to get rid of any lingering trace of dried Flaxan blood. That alien shit gets everywhere.
Not to mention my 'Neat Freak' curse pushing me too hard to make every inch of my body clean.
After the bath, I pressed a hand against my chest and gave my broken rib a cautious massage.
'… Wait.'
I stopped rubbing.
It was already feeling significantly better than last night.
'Must be the True Hero trait working?'
The physical stat boost probably included natural healing.
I thought, my face twisting into a scowl.
Great. That goody-two-shoes trait was actually useful.
I dried myself off and got dressed in a simple white dress shirt with the sleeves folded up to the elbows, and a pair of black pants that were way more comfortable than the blood-soaked clothes I'd been wearing yesterday.
I made my way back to the Master room, fully expecting Nakime to still be out cold, only to find her already awake, changing the blood-stained sheet and making the bed.
"I… You should rest more," I said, stepping up to take the other half of the blanket and folding it with her.
"You don't have to be so worried for me, master. That 'Immortal's' flesh is very beneficial for me, though only a few kilos of it remain," she said, her tone sounding a bit downcast.
My brain short-circuited at the statement.
'Yikes! I completely forgot under all this domestic bliss that she's a literal flesh-eating demon!'
Right. Of course, I'm having a discussion about running low on superhero meat, first thing in the morning.
My life is so fucking weird.
Pushing that horrifying realisation to the back of my mind, I focused on our actual logistics.
"Speaking of food, we still haven't secured any actual food supplies for me, not to mention medicines in case something goes wrong, and I really need to get a phone so I can figure out what's happening in the outside world."
I stood there musing over what could be done as my mind drifted to the random consumables still sitting in my item space. Could I maybe sell them for some quick cash?
Who wouldn't pay top dollar on the black market for magic steroids or defense candy?
Before I could even finish justifying my plan, a loud gurgling noise erupted from my empty stomach, completely derailing my train of thought.
"I guess foraging for food it is," I sighed heavily.
Nakime looked up at me then, having finished making the bed. "Master, I have some happy news for you."
That immediately pulled my attention.
"Now that my blood demon art has acclimatised with this new dimension, I was able to let out a few of my familiars across the city where you last fought those aliens," she continued, her tone a bit proud of her achievement. "Now I can control where my gates open to instead of it being random."
Hearing the news, a smile of relief broke out on my face. "Thank RNGesus. I was seriously worried I'd accidentally jump straight into GDA Headquarters this time. You really are a lifesaver, Nakime."
She formed a gentle, rare smile at my praise. With a swift, elegant strum of her biwa's strings, she opened the Tatami door right in front of us that led to the outside world.
"Just to be safe let me test something first," I said as I summoned Pepsi Man from my Familiar Space for the first time.
PEPSIMAN! PEPSI, PEPSI!
PEPSIMAN! PEPSI, PEPSI!
PEPSIMAN! PEPSI, PEPSI!
PEPSIMAN!
"Wha the…?" Both Nakime and I were caught off guard as extremely energetic music started playing out of nowhere and Pepsi Man began to materialize right in front of us in his classic pose.
[Image here]
He looked around the Master Room like he was trying to get his bearings before looking back at us and simply tilting his faceless head in an earnest motion, asking in that irritating corporate mascot voice, "Pepsi?"
I just sighed deeply, too hungry and tired to deal with whatever the hell this was and simply said, "Yeah, Pepsi."
And the instant I finished uttering the word, he jumped up to his feet and ran straight out of the Tatami door, yelling "Pepsi!!"
Nakime and I just looked at each other for a long moment and silently decided not to discuss what we'd just witnessed for both of our mental well-being's sake.
After about ten minutes, Nakime finally said, "Master, your summon was able to run around the gate's location for quite some time, and nothing seems out of the ordinary. It is now safe for you to venture out."
Finally getting her all-clear, I reached up to fix my smart glasses and mentally pulled Glock out of my Item Storage just to have the gun in my grip as a backup, and walked straight out of the door.
The very first thing I felt was the harsh sunlight falling on my face, followed immediately by the smoky, polluted wind you only ever get in massive metropolises, and finally the deafening noise of heavy traffic.
I found myself standing in a quiet corner of some parking garage with concrete walls everywhere and oil stains on the ground and that distinct smell of exhaust fumes that never quite goes away. This location was pretty safe and hidden, exactly where Nakime should've been aiming for when she opened the portal.
Glancing up, I saw a barely visible, grotesque eyeball familiar floating by, and I offered it a small wave to let Nakime know I was okay.
"You're a hard man to find, Mr. Kaisen."
A heavy, gravelly voice echoed right behind me out of nowhere.
Every single hair on my body stood straight up and violently goosebumps erupted across my skin.
I didn't even think. I just spun around, gripping the Glock in my hand, and fired without even bothering to aim in pure panic-reflex.
Bang.
Only to find Cecil fucking Stedman casually tilting his head an inch as a bullet hole smoked in the brick wall about a foot to the left of his ear.
I heard him let out a low whistle as my hands shook with the gun still pointed at him.
"That's a hell of a greeting, kid," Cecil muttered while casually brushing some brick dust off his shoulder. "I've had guns pointed at me more times than I can count, kid, but I'll be damned if that didn't put my balls in my throat. Good thing you've got shit aim."
He paused for effect with his scarred face giving nothing away.
"I was worried you'd unleash that big blue dragon on me. Guns I can handle, but dragons I've only killed three of 'em, and I'd rather not make it four today."
'… What!? How? How in the actual fuck was he here?'
And did he just casually say he's killed three dragons? Who the hell was I dealing with?
My mind raced as I instantly slotted in Lesser Hydrokinesis and Wind Flight so I could just blast myself out of this garage.
But then I saw his hands were both raised in a clear surrender gesture.
"Calm down, kid. My bad if I spooked you. I'm just here for a conversation," Cecil said smoothly, his scarred face still unreadable. "Look, we can be civil adults and talk it out, you are at least eighteen, right?"
As he slowly lowered his hands, the concrete ground beneath our feet instantly turned into a wooden tatami gate.
The sharp twang of a biwa string echoed through the garage.
Gravity violently took over and both of us fell straight down, as the tatami door high above us snapped shut and cut off the sunlight.
As we plummeted through the impossible geometry of the castle, I saw Cecil's hand dart into his coat with practised speed and rip out a gun of some kind, a sleek, futuristic piece of tech beeping with a harsh red light.
'That bastard!'
He said he just wanted to talk!
Operating on pure adrenaline, I used Lesser Hydrokinesis, ripping moisture from the air to form a violent whip of water.
I lashed it out, slashing directly at his hand. The impact forced his grip to break, causing the beeping gun to fall away from him, tumbling down into the innumerable, endless wooden corridors below us.
Finally, Nakime manipulated the gravity within the castle. We both landed hard on the floor of the massive open hall. She was sitting in the center on her performance stage, still holding her biwa delicately in her hand.
She looked at me, her single eye scanning me up and down as if checking for any injury. I just gave her a subtle nod to calm her worries. I'm fine.
Cecil immediately touched his earpiece, tapping it. "Stedman to base, come in." Nothing but dead air. He tried again. "Stedman to base, do you copy?" Still nothing.
"You really are too dangerous to be left alone." He muttered as he watched me carefully.
Meanwhile, I was internally screaming, cursing my rotten luck that somehow always managed to lead me into worse and worse situations. Why couldn't I just go to a goddamn 7-Eleven in peace?
"What is this place? And what's up with the Cyclops over there?" Cecil asked, pointing at Nakime.
He was still speaking in that perfectly calm, measured tone. The man was an agent who had clearly seen way too much weird shit to let panic take him over.
'Wait ... maybe I could turn this situation around?'
If he thought I was some terrifying unknown variable, why not play the fucking part?
Channel my asshole brother. The snobby, condescending prick who thought he was better than everyone else around him.
If I was going to bluff my way through this, I might as well go all in.
"Welcome to my castle, Director! I apologise for the rather rude entrance, but you scared poor Nakime when you snuck up on me like that."
I put on the bravest, most arrogant face I could muster, gesturing grandly toward Nakime.
Cecil let out a dry, humorless laugh. "I scared that monster? Kid, quit the act. Someone always thinks they're too clever for us. They all think that at first." He adjusted his tie, completely unfazed. "You're dangerous, Kaisen. Real dangerous and I don't use that word lightly. If I was scared of your monsters, I wouldn't be doing my job. You do know I'm the director of the Global Defense Agency, and my men will be flooding this place shortly. And trust me when I say my men have been watching for any portal activity in Chicago since the Alien attacks. Caught us by surprise how fast you moved, but we adapt."
He sounded confident.
But I wasn't an idiot. I could see his eyes darting around, rapidly checking the impossible angles of the room for exits.
And his hand? Constantly hovering near his coat button. An SOS mechanism, maybe? A tracker?
"I am sorry to burst your bubble, Director," I said, my voice mimicking the condescending tone I'd heard plenty from my brother, "but this is my domain. My own little piece of heaven that I brought with me from back home. No one comes in and out without my explicit permission."
Nakime, bless her demonic heart, instantly understood my intention. She struck her biwa with a harsh, echoing twang that reverberated through the entire castle.
The entire open hall violently rearranged itself.
The floor beneath me shot upward, raising me high above Cecil's level as an elaborate, artistic throne literally materialized right underneath me. I sat down heavily, formally cementing our physical positions.
"Oh, and please don't waste your energy trying to get your men to teleport you out," I announced, my voice echoing off the endless wooden walls. I casually folded one leg over the other, resting my chin on my left hand as I looked down on the Director of the GDA.
"This place is a sanctuary. One that simply can't be tarnished by lesser powers like yours."
Cecil reached into his coat and I immediately tensed up while preparing to defend myself.
He pulled out... a cigar.
Calmly lit it with a small lighter and took a long, slow drag while the smoke curled up from his lips.
As the smoke drifted through the air, he looked up at me and said
"Alright kid, let's talk shop."
[A/N]: If you don't want Cecil to raid your search history, DROP'EM STONES!!
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