JOHN KAISEN'S POV
I couldn't see shit.
Everything in this damn wooden labyrinth was a blurry, out-of-focus mess.
After the sheer, heart-stopping realization that I had been wearing a GDA tracking beacon right on my face, I'd immediately ordered Nakime to open a door to the ocean.
The second the harsh, salty wind hit my skin, I crushed those highly expensive, traitorous lenses in my grip and chucked the plastic remains straight into the churning Pacific.
Good riddance.
I stood there in the dim hall, mentally cursing my own stupidity, when a cold, pale hand gently set itself on top of my head.
Pat. Pat.
"There, there," Nakime muttered, her voice soft. "You must have been surprised, Master. Please, calm down."
My brain stalled out.
I stood there, derailed by the absurdity of the situation.
"Nakime..." I croaked, my voice cracking like a teenager's. "What are you doing?"
The poor woman tilted her head innocently, her single eye blinking in confusion, as she took her hand off my head.
"Was this not what you did to ease my tension last night? I thought it would make you feel better. Should I not have done it? Did... did I make a mistake?"
I swallowed hard.
I reached up, grabbed her wrist, and placed her hand right back onto my scalp.
"No," I said, my face burning as I aggressively avoided eye contact. "It felt good. Keep doing it, please."
Look, it wasn't my fault that my toxically dysfunctional family gave me severe intimacy issues.
I wasn't about to turn down a genuine moment of comfort, even if it came from a flesh-eating demon from the Taisho era.
After about five more minutes of her softly humming and patting my head, my anxiety flatlined.
But I still had to pull away.
Even after abducting and negotiating with the Director of the GDA, we were still missing our number one priority.
My stomach let out a violent, echoing gurgle.
"I'm starving," I groaned.
Nakime immediately reached deep into the folds of her kimono.
"No!" I snapped, grabbing her arm before she could pull out whatever bloody chunk of Immortal jerky she had stashed in there. "Human food. I need regular, not Super meat."
It hit me then.
'Immortal = Jobber: Right.'
'Immortal = Paedophile: Right.'
'Immortal = Hero = Secret Identity! Jackpot!'
"Fuck, I'm an idiot!" I cursed.
I slotted in Gradual Transformation in an active slot.
I didn't have the patience to wait three hours to change my body mass by 500%, but shifting my facial structure and hair pigment? That took maybe half an hour.
By the time the skill finished doing its creepy, bone-altering work, I was a completely different person.
Gone were the blonde hair, replaced by a pitch-black crew cut.
My facial structure shifted entirely, cheekbones higher, jawline sharper and nose bridge more pronounced.
[Image Here]
'I look like a completely different person!' I thought.
'...Well, I can't confirm it due to my lack of spyware glasses.'
"How do I look?" I asked, turning to my roommate.
Nakime stared at me for a bit too long.
"You look like a young master from a Noble Clan."
A phantom tingle of pure dread ran down my spine.
"Yeah, please never say that again. Young masters and reincarnations never mix well. I really don't feel like getting face-slapped by some protagonist today."
Tired and too hungry, I let out a whiny, pathetic noise.
"Just open a gate to the mall already..."
Nakime nodded.
She placed her biwa in her lap and struck the strings.
TWANG.
A tatami door slid open.
I pulled Soul Solid from my item storage, gripping the cane tight just in case some GDA kill-squad was waiting on the other side.
Nothing happened for a few minutes.
The coast was clear.
I stepped through the door, immediately bombarded by the blinding neon signs of the local mall.
I stumbled blindly through the crowds, bumping into shoulders and muttering apologies until a security guard took pity on me and pointed me toward an optometry kiosk.
"How may I help you today?" a pleasant voice asked.
"Please, ma'am," I sighed, gripping the edge of the glass counter. "You gotta help me. I lost my glasses and I can't see for shit."
I heard a light giggle as a hand grabbed my arm, gently leading me to a padded seat.
"Don't worry, sir. It's not the first time someone has come to us with this exact problem."
She ran me through a couple of quick vision tests.
A minute later, she slid a pair of test frames onto my face.
Like a switch being flipped, my vision snapped from a blurry mess of colors to crisp clarity.
I blinked against the sudden sharpness of my vision and as I opened my mouth to thank her, only to freeze completely.
Standing right in front of me, wearing a normal retail uniform, was a girl with a sharp bob cut and distinct Asian features.
It was Dupli-Kate.
One of the members of the Teen Team was fitting my prescription.
My heart tried to jump straight out of my throat, but the Iron Nerves trait clamped down instantly.
The sheer panic evaporated, locking my composure into place before I could blurt out her hero name and get branded as a superhuman stalker.
I leaned back in the chair, projecting total ease.
"Wow. I didn't know my helper was such a beauty."
She giggled, playfully punching my shoulder.
"Boy, you play too much."
She went back to work, pulling different frames from the display walls.
We went through modern sleek designs, bedazzled nightmares, and giant, thick-rimmed Edna spectacles.
Every time she swapped a pair, she leaned in close.
"You really have beautiful eyes, mister...?" she trailed off, leaving the opening.
Taking the clue, I said, "Joestar... Joseph Joestar. But my friends call me Jojo."
"Wow, now that's a unique name!" she smiled, adjusting the bridge of a new frame. "By the way, you can call me Kate."
I smiled back. "What can I say? My parents had unique taste, Kate."
She picked up the final frame, leaning in so close I could feel the warmth radiating off her.
She slipped the glasses onto my face and didn't pull back immediately.
"You smell really good, Joseph," she murmured. "What's your secret?"
I sent a silent prayer of thanks to RNGesus for the Musk trait.
"It's just me getting nervous from standing next to such a pretty lady."
Kate finally blushed, giggling as she stepped back.
I checked the mirror.
The Teashades style with slightly tinted lenses looked perfect.
It completed the whole enigmatic-bastard aesthetic I was going for.
"You really know your glasses, Kate. I'll take a dozen of these, please."
I pulled Cecil's sleek black GDA card from my pocket, half expecting the card to be blocked or worse, the terminal to explode when I swiped it.
The transaction approved perfectly.
She printed the receipt, bagging up the remaining eleven pairs.
"You're one remarkable customer, Mr. Joestar. Here. Call me."
She slipped a piece of paper with her number scribbled on it directly into my hand.
"You bet I will, Kate."
As we were in the middle of our flirting I heard a coughing sound come from my connection with Nakime.
'Are you sick, Nakime?' I asked internally. 'Is that even possible for demons?'
'I am perfectly fine, Master,' her voice replied, sharp and devoid of its usual warmth. 'It is simply that there are a lot of pests buzzing around.'
'Weird,' I thought. 'Guess I need to buy bug spray.'
As I walked away from Kate's kiosk, I wondered why the hell a teenage superhero needed a part-time retail job.
Did the GDA not pay these kids? That's messed up.
Whatever. I had bigger priorities.
The Food Court.
I hit the buffet harder than Nolan hit Immortal.
I piled one of everything onto my plate, forming a structural hazard of meat, carbs, and grease.
The other customers stared at me in open disgust, but the staff didn't even blink.
'Poor staff must've seen some shit.'
Given the sheer amount of superpowers in this universe, a guy eating five times his body weight probably didn't even crack the top ten weirdest things they'd seen this week.
I abandoned every single table manner I had ever learned.
I ate like a mukbang YouTuber doing a speedrun.
My mother would have literally passed out from the shock of seeing it.
Fully satiated, I paid the bill and wandered over to the clothing store.
I needed to find something for Nakime. She'd been wearing the same kimono for days now.
I was browsing the racks when the massive TV array mounted above the registers flared red.
[BREAKING NEWS]
The anchor looked devastated.
[With a heavy heart, Channel 9 must report the unthinkable. The Guardians of the Globe... have been killed.]
The entire store went dead silent.
Shoppers froze in the aisles.
[They were martyred in the field of battle,] the anchor continued, her voice shaking. [Furthermore, Omni-Man, who was seen briefly during the Flaxan invasion, is currently missing in action. Reports indicate he was abducted and thrown into the alien portal, stranding our greatest hero far from home.]
I just stared at the screen.
Say what you will, Cecil really knew his propaganda when it came down to it.
[We have received verified information from government sources regarding the identity of the man who committed this heinous act,] the anchor announced, her expression hardening. [The man who struck our Guardians in their own base when they were most vulnerable. The man who stranded Omni-Man and left our world defenseless.]
A massive, high-definition photo flashed across the broadcast.
It was me.
Laughing cockily, riding on the back of the Blue-Eyes White Dragon.
[This man is John Kaisen! I repeat, the barbaric terrorist responsible is John Kaisen! The government has announced an unprecedented global bounty for his capture:
One Billion Dollars.
DEAD OR ALIVE.]
The screen shifted to show a wanted poster.
It looked like something straight out of One Piece.
'Damn,' I thought, adjusting my new glasses. 'They really caught my good side. I wonder if I can ask Cecil to get that framed for the castle?'
'Master... you seem awfully calm, given that you have painted a target on yourself for the entire planet.' Nakime's voice echoed through our connection, thick with worry.
'You can't win big unless you risk big, my dear Nakime.'
And then, right on cue.
TING—
The crisp, blissful chime of the gacha interface booted up in my mind.
I took a slow, deep breath.
[Feat Achieved! Kidnap the Director of GDA]
[Reward: +1x Gold Random Gacha Ticket]
[Feat Achieved! Make a deal with GDA]
[Reward: +1x Gold Random Gacha Ticket]
[Feat Achieved! Flirting with a Hero]
[Reward: +1x Bronze Random Gacha Ticket]
[Feat Achieved! Become the Most WantedMan in the world]
[Reward: +1x Diamond Random Gacha Ticket]
I ignore the notifications, turning back to the changing room mirrors, holding up a bright floral sundress in my left hand and a comfortable pink tracksuit in my right.
"So," I said out loud to the empty aisle. "Which one would Nakime like?"
I just grabbed both.
Nakime deserved options.
[A/N]: Any Idea why this is happening and that too such a big drop?
[Image Here]
Also, gimme them Stones unless you want a bounty on your head!!
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