Chapter 319: Loki, the Three-Timing Turncoat
The Lucky Dragon, Hell's Kitchen.
"So your old man's just sending this walking headache my way?" Ethan stared at the two brothers in front of him, already feeling a migraine coming on.
The two troublemakers standing there were, of course, Thor and Loki.
This wasn't in the source material at all. Shouldn't Loki be locked up in some Time Variance Authority holding cell right about now?
Wait — no. Loki, God of Stories, already exists. That particular door's closed for this guy.
The Loki standing in front of him right now is just... some background-extra Loki.
And is Odin treating Hell's Kitchen as his personal daycare center or something? Every problem child in the Nine Realms just gets shipped my way?
Ethan honestly didn't think much of Odin. Sure, as a king, the man was undeniably a success — "Lord of the Nine Realms" wasn't a title you handed out lightly.
But as a father? An absolute disaster. Just look at the family — Hela got sealed away for millennia purely because of Odin's blatant favoritism toward sons over daughters. Even Sun Wukong only got stuck under Five Finger Mountain for five hundred years, by comparison.
Ethan genuinely sympathized with Hela on this one. The woman had fought at Odin's side, racked up an enormous list of accomplishments, and her reward was getting locked away for it. Anybody in her position would've turned against him eventually.
Thor, meanwhile, had clearly always been Odin's favorite — and that favoritism was exactly what had turned him into such an arrogant mess for so long, even if he'd mellowed out somewhat by now.
Of course, that favoritism only existed in the first place because Odin needed Thor as his heir to the throne. If there'd been any other viable option, Thor might well have ended up treated no better than Loki.
Speaking of Loki — Odin had known about every single thing the man had done, and never once actually stepped in to stop him, never bothered teaching him any better either.
And now, apparently, the solution was just dumping him on Ethan's doorstep. Is Hela coming next?
Do I look like some kind of family therapist to you people?
Thor, looking sheepish, said, "You understand the situation. Given everything Loki's done this time, if he goes home, there's no question he'd be thrown in confinement — and given how serious this all was, we're talking a very long sentence."
Thor kept a hand on Loki's shoulder as he continued. "I couldn't stomach the thought of him locked away like that. So I talked it over with Father, and we settled on a different punishment instead. Exile."
"Exile?" Ethan stared at the two of them, utterly speechless. Does this guy have any idea how words work?
So what — Hell's Kitchen is some kind of frozen wasteland you banish people to now?
"I really, TRULY appreciate this," Ethan said through gritted teeth.
Thor had just handed him an enormous headache. Loki's rap sheet was extensive — first he'd murdered his own adoptive father Odin, exiled Thor, and tried to seize Asgard's throne for himself.
That plan had failed. So then he'd thrown in his lot with Thanos instead, taken the Mind Stone's scepter from him, and promised to bring back the Tesseract in exchange for Thanos's Chitauri army helping him conquer Earth.
That plan had also failed. Worse than failed — thanks to Loki specifically, Thanos had lost the Mind Stone entirely AND three of his five Black Order generals in the process.
Lucky for Thanos he'd never actually adopted Loki as some kind of surrogate son, or he might've gotten dragged down with the rest of the wreckage too.
Sure, both of those failures traced back to Ethan's own involvement. But honestly, Loki probably would've failed either way, Ethan or no Ethan.
And now here the guy was, showing up at Hell's Kitchen next. What, was conquering Earth too much of a stretch, so now he's settling for conquering Hell's Kitchen instead?
Watching this whole routine, Ethan couldn't help but think of a certain infamous general from the late Han dynasty — a man who'd switched allegiances so many times people started calling him "servant of three surnames." Though, to be fair, Loki really didn't deserve the comparison.
That general, at least, could actually fight. What did Loki even bring to the table? Nothing but a talent for petty scheming.
Ethan had a real suspicion, too, that Odin was simply passing his own problem downstream. Loki had just cost Thanos dearly — and unless the man was a total fool, he had to know Thanos wasn't going to let that slide easily.
Ethan's best guess: Odin was tied up dealing with some bigger crisis of his own right now, and Earth was the only remaining safe harbor left for Loki to hide out in.
However Ethan looked at it, Loki spelled nothing but trouble.
He just had to picture it — Loki, down on one knee, gushing with theatrical sincerity: "I have wandered half my life without finding a worthy lord to serve. If you would have me, sir, I would gladly call you father!" — and a genuine chill ran down his spine.
He shut it down immediately. "No. Absolutely not. Hell's Kitchen's too small a temple for a big god like Loki here. Go find somebody else. I really can't do this favor for you, Thor."
"Come on, please, Ethan — help me out here. Father already said he's compensated you for this. And honestly, Loki's been dying to visit Kamar-Taj — he really wants to study magic there, actually.
Just help me out, alright? Loki's genuinely turned over a new leaf, I promise! And just to be safe, Father's already sealed off his godly power completely. Right now, he's just an ordinary man."
Thor pleaded urgently, and — worried Ethan wouldn't believe him — hauled the expressionless Loki up to his feet, practically presenting him for inspection, as if to prove every word of it was true.
Thor's mention of "compensation" caught Ethan off guard. He frowned, turning it over in his head.
When exactly did I ever receive anything from Odin?
Then it clicked — the Tablet of Life, gifted to him by Kaito. So the old man already knew it ended up with me, huh.
How is that "compensation"? That thing came from Kaito, who earned it fair and square. This is Odin pulling a con — profiting off empty hands.
Ethan turned Observation Haki on Loki to check for himself. Sure enough — the man really had lost every trace of his godly power.
But even powerless, Ethan's answer was still a flat no.
Loki could read the rejection plainly written across Ethan's face. He rose without a word, expression blank. Honestly, he'd never wanted to come here in the first place — whatever else he was, he was still a god. Why would he lower himself to some rundown dump like Hell's Kitchen?
He'd rather rot in a cell back home than set foot in this place. If he still had his power, there was no chance he'd have let Thor drag him here at all.
Right as Ethan turned him down, Loki rose to leave.
Just as Ethan started to rise himself to see them both out —
The Time Stone in his personal System space suddenly stirred to life. Ethan could feel a message flowing directly out of it, urging him to take Loki in.
He focused, listening closely. The message came through fragmented, broken — but clear enough to make out. "Take... Loki... payment!"
Ethan's mind snapped to attention. Could this be Loki, God of Stories, reaching out to him directly through the Time Stone?
He frowned, thinking it over, running back through everything he knew about the God of Stories.
Ethan had already privately suspected the Time Stone itself might actually BE something the God of Stories had left behind — after all, the World Tree associated with the God of Stories was green, and the Time Stone's own signature color was green too.
With that thought settling into place, Ethan made up his mind: he'd keep this Loki around after all.
"Hold on a second. I'll take Loki in. But how I choose to deal with him is entirely my own business — neither of you gets a say in it."
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