Onyx
I had crushes on people before. Not the same since I was a kid, a memory of a boy I lost forever etched in my memory. No matter how many people came along, they too would become one. My heart longed for a past that doesn't exist. My reality shrouded through my own lens of a faulty camera.
When I was young, before all this happened, I was a child full of life. Full of hope, full of dreams. I had a life to me that since drained away. I'd escape into poetry and classical pieces, or helping people like Pixie whom I'd found and took in. I think there is no one in this world that should know the pain of losing family. Despite all this, the positivity I felt, the comfort in Abyss was something new.
I knew the boy was special in some way. It may be I am crushing innocently again. He is certainly interesting. It's been surprisingly hard to get close to him though. With each layer I peel back I can only till there are more. I know so little about him. I don't trust people easily; I couldn't explain to anyone else why I was even interested in him.
I was used to people in life judging me for every little thing, or not believing in me. When he said he did, I knew he did. I was no fool. I could tell he hides many things. However, he never seemed to be insincere.
I was thinking how to invite him over to my home while my aunt was gone for mourning. The house was now even more empty. No family besides Pixie and I would dare set foot in the place. "Lily, some stationery please," I said to her; she bowed slightly before turning to go get me some.
I looked up at the portrait of one of my ancestors, sighing. They told me long ago some goddess or something cursed firstborns of the 'impureial' tribe. It is, or was, a statement of only the purest ones could lead. However, due to our extreme intelligence and power, we became more and more dangerous. Eventually leading our own kind to near extinction, so the curse of the firstborn was cast by the very goddess that birthed us, out of emotion of love and hate. To try to counter it, many of us tried mixing with others. Unlike other species, this was much harder for us.
However I was no longer a pureblood. Although, there was a time I was thought to be. My status as a firstborn remained heavy.
I shook my head, listening now to a new song. Suddenly I felt passion for my own job. Well rather I felt passion for the music. I felt so inspired, picking up a guitar and writing down lines, my energy climbing with each note. I found myself smiling at my paper, tapping my feet along with the rhythm.
I wanted to show him this immediately. Writing each lyric with a new glimmer I had yet to see til my feelings began to bloom like spring had begun. "Tulips and daisies, the normal roses and lilies, out of them all you're the special snowdrop, a Wisteria on the eaves" I paused, right, I must rhyme.
"You're the the one who makes my heart drop, my snowdrop. A Wisteria on the eaves hangs not even as close as you do to my heart written on the leaves" hmm, it wasn't perfect, there is a thousand truths I could write. I wonder would such a poem draw a smile on his face? It certainly did mine.
Out of an impulse I grabbed the courage to call him. Without any further reason, I just wished to hear his voice. It brightened my day. He picked up on the first ring. "Are you busy?" I asked somewhat energized. "A bit but you're more important," he replied.
Oh I can let you go now if you're busy, we can talk later. You picked up so fast" I said.
"Someone told me no matter how busy one is, if you're a priority, they will always make time for you. It's just a simple call, what's on your mind?" he asked. His words made me blush, thinking "does this mean I'm his priority?"
"I called to ask if you wanted to go on a date- no I mean I called to ask if you wanted to come over and play with Pixie, she's been alone at home a lot these days, I can introduce you to my pets and macaw properly," I said while hoping he did not notice my fumble.
He giggled a bit. I widened my eyes, feeling flustered as if I was caught but also wishing I could hear him laugh like that again. He had finally started to look more like his age and brighten up a bit, as if he had a bit of youthful energy to him instead of that deathly look.
"Yes, I would love to, actually later today is completely free if you are," he said. I looked at my schedule noticing it was all packed. "Ah whatever, I'll tell them to push it back til later," I thought to myself. "Today is completely free for me too," I merely replied.
I found myself acting like an excited boy waiting for him to arrive later. I kept adjusting things to see if it looked right. Someone said he had OCD—was I doing this right? Lily said OCD wasn't really about cleaning things or making it all line up perfectly, yet I didn't want to trigger him at all.
He came looking a bit frazzled from his hectic day, yet he was gorgeous, glowing almost. I think that new hair day really did him well. My head now drifted back to my earlier poem I wrote on a whim, as I drifted in new emotions
'To fall in love with your hue;
To begin the world anew.
I found you in the sunset, in the waves of the ocean. I found you in the trees, in the hum of buzzing bees. I found you when no one else did. You saw me when no one had.
Words may not speak the truth as your eyes do, is there any greater sincerity than that? Is there more truth than what lies within?
To fall is to let go of control over one's composure. It knows not of your stance on it, your status nor your gender. To love another isn't to trust that they won't break your heart, that is part of love; to love another is to love anyway, to trust them enough to give them your heart you've guarded so closely, no matter the risk.'
Right now staring at him in front of me I felt I really understood the words. I felt them as if emotional music danced in my heart.
"Come on in," I gestured, he was a bit more familiar now since the past times. He added a good presence to the manor, making it less steely and obsolete beyond its empty grandeur. We headed up the stairs. For some reason his hand kept bumping me on accident on the railings; I wondered how one would do such, yet I only inched closer to him still.
I watched and saw his cheeks blush a red hue against his contrasting skin. I licked my lips trying to stop myself from getting all giddy like a schoolboy. My tone had been so somber after the funeral and yet right now I felt like squealing and jumping around. It was like giggles and rays of sunshine. He was so freaking cute. The way he glanced at me shyly.
"These are my pets, I keep many, they're all rescues," I said gesturing around. He lit up completely getting to see them, Pixie probably sitting in her room drawing for the moment wondering if she was just an excuse.
Abyss looked at me excitedly. "May I?" gesturing to my sweet macaw. I nodded and he walked over to it. "Here put your hands out like this and say step up," I said to him now holding his wrists to guide him in the right direction. The closeness between us made me feel like cotton candy melting on a hot day. I was close enough to smell the sweet scent of flowers off of him.
He kept glancing at me shyly still like a cute kid. I wasn't sure how I was to not notice him.
"Like this? Oh I think they like me! What's their name?"
"Oh it's Prism, like the hues of a rainbow."
He seemed to love that now smiling at her softly. "She's quite cute compared to you, Onyx. You have some very colorful animals I mean!!! Not that you aren't cute," he said blushing.
"Thank you."
The air went quiet. What do I say? What do I do? How do I get closer to him. My mind went stagnant, the awkwardness filled the room again.
Finally I said, "I love the colorful things in life. I said they were all rescued. People think that they're cool pets to have but they're quite high maintenance."
He nodded looking around. "They have a lot of toys and space."
"Yeah it even extends to other rooms around. I believe one axolotl should have at least 230 liter tanks per one, some people do less or don't let them acclimate to the water properly. On the other hand, macaws are pretty but louder. They're as intelligent as a 3 year old child if not more, but they don't parrot speech much. Unlike a cockatoo. Still they can live 60+ years meaning it's having a toddler with wings for a lifetime. Most people can't handle that. Especially not with their beaks having the power to snap logs of wood in 2 pieces," I said.
"You really love them." He looked at me with a smile reaching his eyes. They looked at me like seeing a softness in me that seemed to make him emotional.
"Yes, more than anything." Part of me ached to include him in this somehow, but I knew it wasn't the time, nor the depth of the emotion yet. Still I wished I could express to him I wished for him to be part of this.
"To breathe the air next to you is a blessing too," I merely said. He smiled now looking to the side at me, tucking his new shiny hair behind his ear. I reached out brushing away a stray strand, letting my fingertips linger on his forehead, making eye contact again. For a moment I thought I saw a bit of a shadow flicker around our wrists that were tucking his hair, and a flicker of a red string.
I blinked fast, maybe I imagined it. I didn't think I'd lost control of my powers. I looked down at him re-evaluating the boy in front of me, was that me or....?
I merely smiled and asked "want to listen to some piano?" He nodded at me looking at me with the deep gaze of his, sitting next to my piano and looking at me in awe.
"You can play?"
I strummed along making the most ethereal piece I could muster. "It sounds like a piece written in the stars," he continued.
"The twin constellations," I said. He looked at me as if to elaborate further. "This one ended sadly, but let me tell you another tale. In mythology Loki and a Giant, mortal enemies, fell in love. Different species, Thor even had a child of his own in his male body that was a massive serpent called Jörmungandr, showcasing love goes beyond gender or species." I laughed before continuing, "well that's my way of interpreting it. In the myths that may be a bit of a distorted take from me. Still, Thor too had a relationship with a giant too."
He smiled at me softly. "I think it's nice. Since working around here I have seen that many people in this world think that different types of loving or existing is some new thing. It happens in penguins, swans, and heck even ancient Egyptian mythology. It has always been around," he said.
"At least you listen to my rambles and talk to me back making me feel understood."
"Always," he said putting his hand on my shoulder letting me continue playing the music.