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Chapter 4 - Ch - 4 — Even Suffering Feels Like Home

After he reached the tree—

he fell onto the grass.

Even though it wasn't a home,

not even a single wall around him—

it still felt like one.

At least there was something above his head.

A roof made of leaves.

Just like before.

In the real world—

he only had one place to call home.

And only one family member left.

That tree where he died.

And this tree…

reminded him of it.

---

His stomach made noise.

Loud.

Restless.

But right now—

he didn't care.

Or maybe he did—

but he wanted rest more.

Just a little longer.

Just one moment more—

felt like heaven.

---

He was tired enough to sleep on an empty stomach.

That wasn't new.

He had done it before.

Many times.

---

But he didn't sleep.

Not because he couldn't—

but because he didn't want to.

---

He lay on the grass,

moving slightly—

left… right…

slowly.

---

The smell came back.

His sweat.

Faint—

but there.

---

"…so it has a limit…"

He exhaled softly.

"…too tired to think."

---

His mind drifted.

Back to the real world.

Back to nights—

where he would lie under a tree,

hungry,

quiet—

watching the sky.

The moon.

The stars.

Beautiful.

Calm.

---

But not here.

---

In this world—

the moon wasn't beautiful.

It brought something else.

A shadow.

Just seeing it—

was enough to make fear crawl into everything.

---

He didn't want to look at it.

---

He rolled once more on the grass.

Then slowly stood up.

---

Night was coming.

---

He climbed the tree.

Slowly.

His hands felt heavier than before.

His legs trembled.

His body—

was reaching its limit.

---

Sleep pulled at him.

Hard.

---

At one point—

his hand slipped.

---

For a second—

his body dropped.

---

His heart jumped.

But he held on.

One hand.

Both legs.

Barely.

---

That moment—

was enough.

---

If his body wasn't in the right position—

he would've fallen.

---

And here—

even a small injury meant death.

---

Falling from the tree—

meant nothing would be left.

No chance.

No escape.

---

He raised the same hand—

and slapped his own face.

---

"…stay awake."

---

The sting cleared his mind.

Just enough.

---

He climbed again.

Slowly.

Carefully.

Until—

he reached his spot.

---

He grabbed a fruit.

---

But didn't eat it immediately.

---

He looked at it.

Quietly.

For a moment.

---

A breath left his mouth.

---

"…I always think about it…"

---

He stared at the fruit.

---

"…but never understood…"

"…why the most beautiful things…"

"…are the ones that suffer the most."

---

A pause.

---

"…just like you."

---

His fingers tightened slightly.

---

"I'm about to eat you."

---

His voice was low.

Tired.

But honest.

---

"But things like you…"

"…exist so others can live."

---

Another breath.

---

"…so I'm thankful."

---

He opened his mouth—

and took a bite.

---

After finishing—

he slowly lay down on the branch.

The same place.

---

His body relaxed.

---

Sleep came again.

---

And this time—

he didn't resist.

A cool wind passed through him.

His eyes slowly closed.

---

As his eyes closed—

a faint thought crossed his mind.

---

"…that smell…"

"…it feels like…"

---

He fell asleep.

---

Above—

under the crimson moon—

a massive shadow passed through the sky.

The next day, he woke up.

After waking up, he decided to move his body a little.

As he moved, his body felt more stiff than usual.

But this feeling had a different kind of happiness than just filling his stomach.

He even yawned a little.

This was the first time he had yawned here.

It almost made him feel like he was back home.

Like a kid who comes home after playing too much outside and finally gets a good night's sleep.

He cracked his neck, then his back, and other parts of his body.

Then he opened his eyes.

In front of him—

a fruit.

"Hmm."

He grabbed one, but before eating, he decided to smell it.

No matter how much he tried, he couldn't smell anything.

He paused for a second, placing his index finger and thumb on his chin.

"…Hmm."

Something clicked.

"Wait a second…"

In his mind, he thought—

What do you mean I can't smell anything?

He gently placed the fruit down between the leaves.

Then he smelled his hands.

Nothing.

He checked under his arms—

then the rest of his body.

Still nothing.

He paused.

How could this have happened?

He clearly remembered falling asleep covered in sweat.

After thinking for a moment, it finally made sense.

He had slept surrounded by those leaves.

Maybe—

their juice… or something within them… had affected his body.

But nothing had cut the leaves while he was asleep.

So maybe…

it wasn't just the juice.

Maybe the leaves themselves had some effect.

Being surrounded by so many of them—

it influenced his body.

And maybe the same applied to the fruits.

He picked up a leaf and looked at it.

"…how mysterious are you?"

After saying that, he finally took a bite of the fruit.

Still—

no smell.

"…hmm."

"I shouldn't be surprised."

"If these leaves can affect something that isn't even part of them… like my body…"

"then affecting the fruit makes sense."

"These fruits have been here for a long time."

"…so of course."

He finished the bite slowly.

Then stood up.

"…anyway."

"…time to finally do something."

He lowered himself from the tree.

Holding both his small stick and big stick, he walked toward the spot where he had cleared the grass. Instead of stretching, he broke the small stick into smaller pieces.

He pushed them into the soil.

"…hmm. With this, I can remember how many days I've spent here."

He placed three small pieces in the ground, making sure they wouldn't be blown away by the wind.

"I've spent three days here… at least, that's what I remember."

"There's been too much going on… I wouldn't be surprised if I forgot something."

He paused.

"…anyway."

"Let's go find a way to use that hole."

"Of course, I won't skip training… but survival comes first."

"I'll train in the evening… that way I can sleep right after."

He looked around.

"I should take some leaves… just in case my smell comes back."

He frowned slightly, placing his hand on his chin.

"But what should I use to carry them…?"

Then—

"Oh."

"I can use this."

He hesitated for a second.

"…do I really have to?"

A sigh escaped his mouth.

"…yeah. I have to."

He took off his t-shirt—the only piece of clothing he had.

He tied a knot at the bottom to close it.

Then he began gathering leaves from the ground, almost like he was cleaning the area around the tree.

Like collecting hair from a barber's floor.

After filling the shirt with leaves, he slid one arm through a sleeve—from the outside, near the neck opening—covering his arm completely.

For the other hand, he wrapped the remaining sleeve around it and tied it tightly.

"…done."

He moved his body a little to test it.

"…hmm."

"Nothing feels wrong."

"Just a little uncomfortable… a bit strange."

"I'll get used to it."

He looked at the makeshift bag.

"This might slow me down a bit… but it's worth it."

"…actually, no."

"I'm gaining more than I'm losing."

"With this, I can even carry fruits if I need to stay out longer…"

He paused.

"…I hope that never happens."

He gently touched the tree.

"…it feels safer here."

"…like home."

He took a breath.

"…alright. Let's go."

He paused again.

A strange feeling crept into his mind.

Like he had forgotten something.

He tried to think—

…but nothing came.

"…did I actually forget something?"

"…or is it just a feeling?"

He shook his head.

"…doesn't matter."

"I'll remember if it's important."

"Better to move than stand still."

He picked up his big stick and started walking down.

That feeling didn't disappear—

but he ignored it.

Step by step, he moved toward the cave, staying alert for any danger.

Finally, he reached it.

The entrance stood before him—

dark.

He stopped.

Then suddenly slapped his forehead.

"…damn."

"I forgot."

"I don't have anything to see inside."

"It's completely dark…"

"…how am I supposed to go in?"

He frowned.

"I got too used to the dark…"

"I always returned to the tree before night…"

"…so I never thought about this."

He paused again.

"…or maybe…"

"…I just closed my eyes before it got too dark."

"…I was just tired."

He scratched the back of his head.

"…it's strange."

"How much being tired can affect you."

"…but I used to be tired all the time before too…"

He let out a slow breath.

"…maybe this body is different."

"…it feels stronger than my old one."

"…maybe it just isn't used to this yet."

He stopped himself.

"…what am I doing?"

"This isn't the time to think about that."

He looked around the area.

"…I should find something."

"…some way to create light."

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