"What? Why? No," I said, panic rising in my throat.
"We need to be certain, Amara. This isn't a suggestion."
"Wait," I said, sitting up straighter in the infirmary bed. "Can we... can we do it after the semester exams?"
Professor Thorne's eyes narrowed. "Why would we wait?"
My brain went into overdrive. I needed time. Time to figure out what to do. Time to reinforce the restrainer spell. Time to maybe fake my own death and flee to another continent.
Think, Amara. Think.
"I just collapsed," I said, gesturing at the infirmary around us. "I'm already stressed about catching up on the classes I missed. If I have to worry about a reassessment on top of everything else, I might actually lose it."
She didn't look persuaded.
"I need time to prepare mentally," I continued, trying to sound vulnerable. "The first assessment was already overwhelming. I was so nervous I could barely touch the tester. If you make me do it again right now, while I'm still recovering, the results might be even worse."
Professor Thorne crossed her arms. "The assessment measures magical reserves, not mental state."
"But anxiety affects performance," I argued. "If I'm too stressed during the reassessment, it won't show my actual abilities. It'll just show that I'm panicking."
She studied me for a long moment. I held my breath.
Please, just give me time.
"Fine," she said finally. "After the semester exams. But I expect you to take this seriously, Amara. If there's a discrepancy between your rating and your actual capacity, we need to know. For your safety and the safety of your classmates."
"I understand," I said, calmness washing over me. "Thank you, Professor."
She nodded once and left without another word.
The second the door closed behind her, I sank back into the pillows and stared at the ceiling. My hands were shaking.
What am I going to do?
I tried not to think about it since the day of the checkup, but I was forced to face the possiblity.
The restrainer spell.
I'd reinforced it so many times already, layering protection on top of protection. But what if it wasn't enough? What if it was already weakening on its own, no matter how much I poured into it? Magic had a way of degrading over time, especially when it was fighting against something as fundamental as what I was.
I closed my eyes and tried to sense the spell wrapped around my core. It was still there, still holding. But there was a faint tremor, like a hairline fracture in the foundation.
How long do I have?
The thought messed with my gut.
I'd been so careful. So meticulous. I'd planned everything down to the smallest detail. And now it was all falling apart.
I rolled onto my side, pulling the thin infirmary blanket up to my chin.
And then another thought hit me.
Malachi hadn't come to visit.
He had carried me to the infirmary and stayed till evening. But since then? Nothing. No visits, no messages, no checking in to see if I was okay.
Why?
Maybe he was busy or he had classes. Maybe he just didn't care that much.
Stop it. You're spiraling. And why do you suddenly care if he visits you? You have worse things to worry about…
What if the spell fails during the reassessment? What if they discover what I really am?
What if I lose control… like last time?
Wait… last time?
I paused, my thoughts stumbling over themselves. Where had that come from? What happened last time, and why was it suddenly pushing its way into my mind without any context?
No. Stop.
I dragged in a slow breath, pressing my fingers lightly against my temple.
You're overthinking this. That's all.
There was no "last time." There couldn't be. If something like that had happened, I would remember it… right?
A shaky laugh slipped out of me.
"Yeah. I'm just stressed," I muttered under my breath. "That's it. Too much pressure… my brain's just making things up."
I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to force the panic down.
---
Two days later, I was cleared to return to class.
I walked into the A-Class lecture hall with my head high, trying to project confidence I didn't feel.
A few students glanced up as I entered. Some nodded in acknowledgment. One girl even smiled.
Then Serena's voice cut through the room.
"Oh look, the fainting princess is back," she said, loud enough for everyone to hear. "Did you have a nice nap?"
Her entourage laughed on cue. Three girls clustered around her desk, all wearing matching smirks.
I kept walking, heading for my usual seat, dismissing their remarks.
"I heard she collapsed because she tried to keep up with all of us in this class,," Serena continued. "Imagine being so weak. I can't... seriously."
More laughter.
I slid into my seat and pulled out my notebook, keeping my expression neutral.
Don't react. That's what she wants.
"Maybe she should transfer to C-Class," one of Serena's friends suggested. "Or D-Class. I'm sure they'd love to have her."
I flipped open my notebook and uncapped my pen.
Just breathe.
My eyes scanned the room, looking for a distraction. Looking for anyone who wasn't staring at me with either pity or amusement.
That's when I realized Malachi wasn't here.
His usual seat near the front was empty. I'd hadn't seen him at breakfast this morning and now he wasn't in class.
Where is he?
"Excuse me."
I looked up to find Kai standing next to the guy sitting beside me. The guy (I think his name was Taren) was staring up at Kai with wide eyes.
"I need this seat," Kai said. His voice was calm, but there was something in his tone that made it very clear this wasn't a request.
Taren glanced at me, then back at Kai. "I... this is my seat."
"Not anymore," Kai said, still smiling, now with a look that said don't argue,
Taren swallowed hard. Then he grabbed his bag and moved.
What just happened?
Kai dropped into the seat beside me, stretching his long legs out under the desk. He turned to look at me, and that smile shifted into something warmer.
"Hey," he said. "Feeling better?"
"I'm fine," I said flatly.
"Good," he said. "Because I'm sitting here now. You know, in case you decide to faint again. I'll be right here to catch you."
My heart did a weird little skip in my chest.
Stop that.
"I'm not going to faint," I said.
"You never know," he said, leaning back in his chair. "Better safe than sorry."
I turned back to my notebook, trying to ignore his presence.
He's just being annoying. That's all.
You know what your problem is?" Kai said, not bothering to wait for me to ask.
"I'm sure you're going to tell me."
"You're too nonchalant about everything," he continued. "You act like nothing matters. Like you don't care about anything or anyone. But you do care. I can tell. You're just really good at pretending."
I didn't look at him. "I'm not pretending."
"Sure you're not," he said. "That's why you're gripping your pen hard enough to break it."
I loosened my grip.
Dang it.
I finally turned to glare at him. "What do you want?"
"I want to be your friend," he said simply.
I blinked. "What?"
"You have potential," he said. "I can see it. But you're wasting it by trying to blend into the background. You could be so much more if you actually tried."
If only you knew.
"You also need someone who's going to call you out on your nonsense, and I'm apparently the only one willing to do it."
"No," I said immediately. "You're annoying."
"I know," he said cheerfully. "But I'm going to keep being annoying until you say yes. Fair warning."
"I don't need friends," I said."I already have Des and Pearl. That's more than enough. Having them is like having ten extra friends anyway."
"Everyone needs friends," Kai said. "Especially people who collapse in the middle of class."
I groaned. "You're insufferable."
"Maybe," he admitted. "Look, I'm going to sit here every day. I'm going to talk to you. I'm going to ask you questions. And eventually, you're going to realize that having one more friend isn't the worst thing in the world. I'm not going away until you say yes."
I stared at him. He stared back, completely serious despite the smile on his face.
He means it.
"Fine," I said finally. "Fine. We're friends. Happy?"
"Thrilled," Kai said, grinning. "See? That wasn't so hard."
I turned back to my notebook, struggling to convince myself that this was much better than letting him stalk me.
***
After class, Kai followed me to the commons.
"You know you don't have to actually follow me everywhere now, right?" I said.
"I know," he said. "But I want to introduce you to some people."
"I already know people."
"Do you though?"
Before I could answer, I spotted Des and Pearl sitting at one of the tables near the window. Des had his head in his hands, and Pearl was frantically scribbling notes.
"Amara!" Pearl looked up, her face brightening. "Hey!"
I slid into the seat across from her. Kai sat down beside me without being invited.
"How are you guys doing?" I asked.
"Terrible," Des groaned. "B-Class is destroying me. I'm barely keeping up with the coursework."
"I have a project due next week and I haven't even started," Pearl added, her voice tight with stress. "I don't know what I'm doing."
"What's the project on?" Kai asked.
Pearl blinked at him. "Um. Elemental theory and practical application."
"That's easy," Kai said. "I can help with that."
"Really?" Pearl's eyes went wide.
"I can help too," I offered. "If you want."
Des lifted his head. "You'd do that?"
"Sure," I said. "I mean, I'm not an expert or anything, but I can try. It can be my way of saying thank you for taking care of me in the infirmary."
"Oh!" Pearl clapped her hands together. "We should have a reading session! All of us! We can go over the material together!"
Des perked up. "That's actually a great idea."
"When?" Kai asked.
"Tomorrow evening?" Pearl suggested. "In the library?"
"Works for me," Kai said, looking at me.
I hesitated. But Pearl was looking at me with so much hope, and Des looked relieved for the first time since I'd sat down.
*What's the harm in one study session?*
"Sure," I said. "Tomorrow evening."
Pearl beamed. "Perfect! This is going to be great!"