Letting out a sigh with complex emotions, Jake could not believe he was not only reincarnated 20 years in the past, but in a fictional show.
Two and a half men huh, Jake thought. While unbeknownst to him a virtual search bar appeared in front of him.
Two and a Half Men (2003–2015) is a CBS sitcom focusing on hedonistic jingle writer Charlie Harper (Charlie Sheen), whose Malibu life is upended when his uptight, divorced brother Alan (Jon Cryer) and nephew Jake (Angus T. Jones) move in. Following Sheen's departure, Ashton Kutcher joined as billionaire Walden Schmidt, who buys the house.
This video shows some of the show's cold opens:
Is that?... Oh my god is Argus.
IN front of him he could see a wall of text accompanied by a miniature of a YouTube video.
It suddenly dawned on Jake that he seemed to have reincarnated with the AI-search engine he was paying 500 dollars a month for.
Now that's a good service, Jake thought to himself.
Getting rid of the third shock of the day, he started to tinker with the virtual screen in front of him, first by touching it, and then by just "thinking" of touching it.
Wikipedia, YouTube, Instagram.
For some reason, Jake's brain seemed to work as a router, since it seemed he was still connected to the modern internet.
Quickly checking the news, Jake came across an article about himself;
"Man Fatally Injured After Overclocked PC Explodes in Home Office"
Staring for a few seconds at the news article about his death he quickly moved on, deciding not to think about it. His parents were dead, he had no siblings just some distant family, but they didn't communicate much either. Had some friends, but no one was particularly close enough to miss them.
Thinking about it, he decided to close Argus and think about his future.
2002. Spiderman was released in theaters 6 months back, Brazil won the World Cup a couple of months ago, and GTA Vice City was just released a few days ago.
It was certainly quite a nostalgic year in a simpler, slower world. No smartphones, no social media, no constant noise.
You'd have to wait for things, dial-up internet, Saturday morning cartoons, calling someone on a landline not knowing if they're home.
Thinking about it gave Jake some drowsiness and made him slowly close his eyes, quickly falling asleep in the hospital bed.
...
"Jake, Jake, hey sweetheart how are you feeling"
Judith slowly woke up Jake by nudging his shoulder.
Suddenly looking at his new parents and the newly arrived doctor, Jake realized he had fallen asleep.
"Hey, Mom, I'm alright" said Jake, fully assimilated into his new life of calling Judith his mom.
"Oh thank God," said Alan at the back, finally relaxed his son spoke fluent English again.
"Hi, Im dr reyes, how are you feeling?"
Suddenly the Hispanic woman in her late 20s spoke up.
"I'm fine, feeling Normal," Jake answered
"Any Headache?"
"No."
"Dizzy? Nauseous?"
"No."
"Alright, follow my finger real quick."
He does as she nods.
"Well, that seems to be all, scans were clean, you were only out for a few seconds, and you've been fine all night. Honestly, you're good to go."
She scribbles on her clipboard.
"Take it easy for a few days. If you get a headache that won't go away or feel off at all, come back. Otherwise, you're done"
"Thank you. As one doctor to another, I appreciate the thoroughness."
Dr Reyes looked at Alan
"You're a doctor?"
"I am" he said,ssomewhat proudly
"What's your specialty? Asked Dr Reyes with curiosity
"Chiropractic."
" Oh." A disappointed, almost amused sound came from her mouth.
With that Oh. She goes back to writing.
Alan stands there for a second.
"That's still a doctorate." Somewhat offended by her reaction, Alan doubled down
"Mm-hm." Dr Reyes just proceeded to give him a polite smile and ignored him.
"I went to school for a very long time." Thinking. he was not clear enough he decided to triple down.
"Have a good day, Mr Harper."
She said before leaving
"How rude, can you believe that" said alan tryng to get some acknowledgement from his wife.
"Alright, honey, do you want some ice cream" said Judith while ignoring her husband.
"Sure, I could eat some ice cream" responded Jake.
As they got ready and walked to the parking spot Alan kept ranting about the healthcare industry.
"You know what this industry is? It's a subscription service. You don't get cured, you get managed. There's a difference. Cured means you don't come back. Managed means you come back every three months and bring your copay."
They drove around for around 20 minutes before getting to an ice cream shop
Jake leaned over the ice cream counter, as he examined the options.
"What can I get you" asked the teenager employee.
"I'll take chocolate in a cone please" Seeing all the flavors he decided on a simple one
Alan kept ranting in the background
"They have a pill for everything now. Sad? Pill. Anxious? Different pill. Side effects from the first pill? Third pill. At some point you're not treating a person anymore, you're just managing a chemistry experiment that occasionally complains."
"Just a single scoop of vanilla. Cup not cone." Oredered Judith while still ignoring Alan.
"Nobody actually wants you healthy. Healthy people don't spend money."
He sat down last and looked at their ice cream. It took a moment before he realized he hadn't ordered anything.
...
The day quickly passed, and before realizing it, they were back home.
Looking at this strange yet familiar house, a weird feeling arose in Jake, as a weird deja vu, two completely different memories in his head gave him that feeling.
"All rigth im gonna make dinner, make sure you shower, Jake."
"All rigth mom" he answered quickly.
Dinner at 6 pm was a thing he had to adapt to, in his last life that was snack time before dinner, but in the States, it was a relatively normal time to have dinner.
Giving a quick look at his room, already used to the feeling of strangeness and nostalgia, he grabbed his clothes and went to take a shower.
Dinner came quickly and Jake helped tend the table.
"Are you ok, Jake?" Judith seemed concerned for a second.
"Uh, yeah, why do you ask" Jake didn't seem to know what he did wrong.
"Well you never helped tend to the table before"
Jake froze for a fraction of a second before coming up with something.
"I just wanted to help your mom" answered Jake while acting cute looking at her with his big hazel eyes.
"Awww thank you sweetheart" said Judith as she kissed him on the forehead.
Whew, Jake expressed his relief mentally, acting like a 9-year-old had taken a certain amount of mental tax
Luckily dinner went by without any other faux pas.
As night came by, Jake was already in bed before 9pm.
"Alright, son good night" Once Alan finished tucking him in, he was ready to sleep.
"Night, Dad." Jake drifted off to sleep for the second time since being in this world.9