SF Chapter 68: Central Perk
A few days later, the group was gathered at their usual spot, Central Perk. Only Joey was still at an audition.
"One of the scripts I read this week was about a character who becomes omnipotent for a day," Rachel told everyone. "What would you guys do?"
[Rachel commentary]
The blonde girl was sitting on her friend's couch. "Last week, I discovered that I'm trained for nothing. I was laughed out of twelve interviews."
"But I found Joan & David boots on sale… fifty percent off, so it wasn't a bad day." She smiled.
Rachel continued her story. "So I decided to accept Dani's offer and got hired as a junior Script Reader. I basically read a few pages of scripts and write notes."
"Then my boss uses them to make the decision to Pass, Consider, or Recommend."
[Commentary ends]
"Phoebe?" Rachel asked the first person.
"Okay, okay." Phoebe thought and replied, "If I were omnipotent for a day, I would want, um, world peace… no more hunger, good things for the rainforest."
Before finishing, she added, "Ah, and bigger boobs."
"Good choice, Pheebs," Daniel high-fived her.
"I would go for always winning, staying skinny forever, and being better at cooking," Monica continued, tossing the question to the next person. "Chandler, what about you?"
"If I were omnipotent for a day, I'd make myself omnipotent forever," Chandler remarked, feeling intelligent.
"Heh," Rachel exclaimed. "See, there's always one guy. If I had one wish, I'd wish for three more wishes." She spoke mockingly.
"Dani?" She nudged him, as he was sitting beside her.
"I would reform my body so I'd have no more limitations. Become more awesome every day. More creative, more intelligent, more confident-"
Rachel interrupted him. "More confident?" She snorted. "How would that even be? And why? So you can run naked in Times Square or flirt with the Queen?"
"Why would I want to flirt with a granny?" He made a face.
Then Joey arrived, and Monica immediately asked him, "Hey, Joey. What would you do if you were omnipotent?"
"Probably kill myself," he blurted out.
"Excuse me?" She frowned at his answer.
And her friend explained, "Hey, if Little Joey's dead, then I've got no reason to live, you know?"
"Joey, uh… omnipotent," Ross said, staring at him.
"You are?" Joey widened his eyes. "Ross, I'm sor-"
He couldn't finish as Ross stood up and walked out, frustrated by his friend's lack of intelligence.
"And you, Rachel?" Chandler turned to the blonde.
"Money, so I don't have to work anymore, staying young forever, and a perfect husband," she replied.
Monica pointed emphatically with her hand. "Oh, oh, me too! I want those too."
Joey looked at them and frowned. "What would a perfect husband be?"
Rachel started counting on her fingers. "Rich, handsome, funny..." she adjusted herself in the chair, "...and good in bed."
"Wow, Rach, I didn't know you thought I was the perfect husband. But thanks." Daniel smirked, then winked.
She deadpanned at him.
"Oh, if only I had half of his confidence..." Chandler remarked sarcastically, "I would have double the rejections."
They chatted a little longer until Ross came back.
"What are you guys talking about?" he asked.
"About dating," Monica replied, continuing her argument. "What you guys don't understand is... for us, kissing is as important as any other part of it."
"Yeah, right," Joey dismissed, but seeing the look on the three women's faces, he added, "You're serious?"
"Oh, yeah," Rachel backed her friend up. "Everything you need to know is in that first kiss."
"Absolutely," Phoebe nodded.
"Yeah, I think, for us..." Chandler countered, "...kissing is pretty much like an opening act."
"I mean, it's like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through... before Pink Floyd comes out." He gestured with his arms.
"Yes, and it's not that we don't like the comedian," Ross chimed in. "It's just that that's not..." he paused for a moment, "...why we bought the ticket."
"I love the 'kisses.' I also think they're very important," Daniel said, siding with the girls.
Monica turned her head. "Really?"
"Oh, you were talking about kisses on the mouth?" He made a fake look of realization, earning a shove from her.
Then Rachel changed the subject. "So, finally, Friday night - does anyone have plans?"
They all looked at each other until Daniel announced excitedly, "I've got a date. And she'll be here soon!"
"Isn't that girl you were seeing traveling in Europe? So, who is it?" Monica asked curiously.
"Yes, she's already in London. And my date's name is Lindsay."
Rachel placed both hands on his arm. "Are you dating Lindsay Lohan??!"
"Not her," Daniel shook his head. "Lohan is on a press tour in major cities, still promoting our movie."
"But this one has a very nice story behind it. Her name is Lindsay Ellingson," he added.
Seeing that everyone was focused on him, Dani began telling the story. "I was 13, she was 14..."
"I was 5'4" (1,63 m)... while she was... 5'10" (1,78m)."
"Whoa, that's like me and Joey," Monica blinked in surprise.
"Yeah, baby," Joey winked at her. Monica rolled her eyes but hide a slight smile.
Her cousin continued, "Six inches (15 cm) of difference." He emphasized the size.
"But I still got it! It was like hiking a mountain. One time I even had to tiptoe to kiss her," he added as if it were an achievement, without any shame.
The group burst out laughing.
"If there's one guy, I could see doing that, it would be you, Dani," Rachel stated, still chuckling.
And the girl from the story walked into Central Perk.
"Oh, yeah - the cherry on top of the story," Daniel quickly told the group. "She's a model now! And an incredibly gorgeous one!" He moved toward her.
[Daniel commentary]
"I was flipping through one of the fashion magazines Rachel bought when I saw Lindsay Ellingson in an ad," Daniel revealed, explaining how he remembered her.
"I had to call a few old friends to get her new number."
[Commentary ends]
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The group sat there watching Daniel and Lindsay at a table in the corner of the café, flirting, laughing, and whispering to each other.
After they turned back around, Chandler said with his usual sarcasm.
"So… just to recap - he's seventeen, drives a Porsche, produced a hit movie, and now models?"
"Ohh, oh," Phoebe continued as if it was a who-knows-more game, "he also sells millions of books, lives in a beach house, and basically works only a few hours a day." She said it casually, as if she were listing a grocery list, while everyone was staring at her.
"Are you sure he's your cousin, Ross?" she asked.
Ross, who had been staring at her, slowly turned into a glare.
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Lindsay Ellingson pic
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