Love and hate are supposed to be two sides of the same coin.
Both intense emotions that require deep investment.
That's why indifference is considered to be the opposite of love not hate.
After all, you can't love something if you don't care about it. However, you may have conflicting feelings of love and hate.
But what's the opposite of hate?
If I found an emotion completely and utterly opposite to the hate I felt for myself, what was it called?
Maybe then, I could describe how I felt about Soriel.
'Man, she's pretty…'
As I sat in my second period math class, I found myself gazing at Soriel.
Not for long, maybe only for a few seconds.
Obviously, I couldn't continue for too long or else I'd get caught.
It was a Thursday morning, meaning all of our friend group was in the class period.
'Focus.'
I turned my attention back to my work and answered a few questions.
Then, I let my urge to talk win.
"Do you think if I stole the moon, I could sell it?" I whispered in Nishimoya's ear, who was sitting nearby.
"Hm? That's a great idea! But um…how will you steal it? Are you gonna move it?"
I was about to respond before being rudely interrupted.
"He doesn't know because he didn't think through his stupid question," Tristan cut in.
"Hey!" I retorted.
"Why can't you guys be nice to each other?" Soriel added, finally paying attention to our conversation.
"I'm nice to him though. He's the one being mean to me."
"Yesterday you told me that you'd rather be skinned alive before having to live a single day being as stupid as me."
"Yesterday was yesterday. Today is today. Don't dwell upon the past, for it sullens your future," I replied wisely.
"You idiot."
We took a break from our exchange to continue working.
Then, we went back to talking, making sure to pay attention to our work as we did.
**
"What's enemies to lovers?" Nishimoya asked.
We sat in the cafeteria during our lunch period.
I took a few bites out of my sandwich and listened to my friends.
"When the two main characters go from having really terrible opinions of each other, to falling in love," Soriel explained.
"Do you like that one?"
"Yes I do! I like getting to see others learn to love each other instead of being hateful."
I put my arm around Tristan and smiled.
"Y'know…I really like childhood friends to lovers…"
Tristan glared at me.
"Go die."
I laughed and the others did too.
"Anyway, did you guys know there are actually 1 million different bacteria in our finger nails?"
"That's not true at all, there's a lot less. Where are you getting that from?" Nishimoya rebutted.
"I exaggerated for dramatic effect."
Nishimoya stared at me blankly.
"What?"
"I'm seeing if I can make you blow up using my mind."
I sighed.
Yet, I was so happy.
The earlier classes were pretty fine. Nothing spectacular happened, I just did my very best during each period.
But being with my friends at lunch made coming to school all worth it.
"Hey Tristan," I called out suddenly.
"No."
"You didn't hear me out first."
"I don't need to. It's something stupid."
I take it all back.
It was not worth it.
**
"How do I say colors in Spanish again?"
"Los colores," Soriel answered.
"Okay, thanks."
I repeated the phrase a few times in my head.
A few periods had passed since lunch and it was finally my last period.
And if you couldn't tell already, I was at Spanish class.
"Hey Soriel, I have an idea."
Soriel tilted her head in curiosity.
"What is it?"
"What if we make a game…hold up I forgot what I was going to say."
Soriel stared at me for a few moments before blinking twice.
Then, she shook her head in disapproval.
"Elliot, how did you forget so quickly?"
"I dunno."
Soriel sighed, but still smiled.
"You're so odd. In a good way, of course," she commented.
I raised my eyebrow.
"Thank you?"
We continued to do our work, giggling and joking as we did.
It wasn't long before class ended.
And when it did, I accompanied Soriel to the music room.
But while we were walking there, something happened.
"Hm? Oh sorry Elliot, I'm getting a phone call," Soriel said.
She took out her phone, and answered it calmly.
"Hello?"
Soriel talked with the person on the other side for a few moments, her expression calm.
But then, her face suddenly froze.
"Huh? What?" I hear her mutter.
The conversation lasted a few more minutes, her face still in that frozen state.
Eventually, the conversation ended and Soriel hung up.
"A-are you okay?" I asked, full of concern.
Soriel turned to me, her eyes empty as if her very soul was stolen.
Opening her mouth, Soriel's voice shook.
"That was my f-father. He told me…"
Soriel paused and swallowed silently.
"...My grandfather passed away."