The night was hazy. Diego stepped out onto the balcony. Moonlight gently fell on him as he felt the breeze brushing against his cheeks.
"Hm? What are those two planning…"
The flow of the wind had been disrupted. Diego clearly sensed Takanashi Rikka sneaking onto the roof, while Dekomori Sanae had slipped in through an open window on the other side and crept up behind him.
Whatever… better not ruin their fun.
Whoosh!
A rope dropped down right in front of Diego.
"Heave-ho~ Heave-ho~"
Takanashi Rikka slowly descended along the rope from the roof. When she neared the balcony railing, her white-socked legs flailed wildly because she couldn't find a foothold.
This isn't a flock of pigeons—what kind of troops did you bring? Is this how you do a stealth approach?!
A large hand gripped Takanashi Rikka's foot, providing her a stable point. Once she felt steady, she slid all the way down. Only when she finally got a clear view of the balcony did she realize—
—she had already been lifted single-handedly by Diego. Her perfect stealth mission had failed spectacularly. She had fallen into the hands of her archenemy.
Diego slowly set her down on the ground. They stared at each other.
"What are you two doing coming to my house in the middle of the night instead of sleeping? And not even using the front door—just sneaking in from the roof. I'm calling the police…"
She… she got caught?! Why isn't Dio asleep at this hour?!
Everyone knows that when people feel awkward, they always pretend to be busy.
"Haha, good evening, Dio hasn't slept yet either…" Takanashi Rikka poked her fingers together, eyes darting everywhere. "Because… it felt like it'd be really cool!
And if I say good night to you before you sleep, the only thing you need to say back is good night too. No need for stuff like 'how did you get into my house,' 'why did you jump in from the balcony,' 'I'm calling the police'—those kinds of heartbreaking words. They don't mean anything and they're super rude."
"Hah?"
"Wide open!" Dekomori Sanae slid in with a tackle, attempting a surprise attack on Diego. "Master, I've come to save you!"
"『Master of the Thunder Warhammer』, my first servant—you dare charge in to save me even knowing it's certain defeat?"
Takanashi Rikka looked at her with hopeful eyes. However…
In the face of an absolute power gap, things like 'friendship' and 'bonds' were all muda da muda!
Instead, Diego grabbed her by the ankle and lifted her single-handedly, slowly raising her up while bending at the waist and lowering his head until their eyes were level.
Eyes confirmed~
"Muda da muda! You think such a feeble attack could possibly hit ko no Dio?!!"
"Damn it, I was so close! Death!"
Dekomori Sanae looked at Diego in despair, contemplating the tragic end of their defeat.
"DDDDDDio!!! Skirt! The skirt's flipped up!!" Takanashi Rikka's face turned scarlet as she pointed at the skirt that gravity had utterly failed to protect.
Obviously, this was reality. No anti-gravity skirts here.
"Tch…" Diego only glanced once before losing interest. No one would be interested in a girl's panties when she looked like a certain monkey king. He tossed the mortified, speechless Dekomori Sanae aside.
Then he plopped down, propped his head on one hand, and asked in a lazy yet undeniably commanding tone:
"Spit it out. What's the real reason you two came looking for me in the middle of the night? It's not for a hookup, is it? Did something go wrong when you awakened your Stands?"
Takanashi Rikka and Dekomori Sanae exchanged a glance, nodded, and summoned their Stands.
"『Evil King's True Eye』!!!"
Takanashi Rikka's [Evil King's True Eye] manifested as a dramatic change in her right eye. When using the ability, she could pull the target into a domain where [Evil King's True Eye] could transform any object into a weapon and inflict minor mental attacks. However, it had no direct offensive power itself.
Destructive Power: B Speed: B Precision: A Potential: A Durability: B Range: E
Takanashi Rikka lifted the eyepatch over her right eye, revealing the strange glow beneath.
"『Master of the Thunder Warhammer』!!!"
Dekomori Sanae's hair unraveled and rapidly coalesced in midair into a yellow warhammer matching her hair color.
Dekomori Sanae's [Master of the Thunder Warhammer] was a warhammer formed from her own hair. Attacks were accompanied by the roar of thunder and possessed the speed and power of lightning, though its maneuverability was lacking.
Destructive Power: A Speed: B Precision: C Potential: B Durability: B Range: D
"…Death!"
"Get lost!" Diego pulled a handgun from who-knows-where and pressed it against Dekomori Sanae's head.
"Eek—?!" Dekomori Sanae was startled by the sudden move, but then suddenly grew confident. She snapped her fingers, puffed out her chest, and aimed her forehead right at the barrel.
(Thanks to Sensei Tom for the affectionate action coaching.)
Heh heh, there's no way Dio would actually point a real gun at my head!
Impossible! Absolutely impossible!! I've awakened Stand power now—I'm his loyal subordinate. He wouldn't bear to shoot me.
"Shoot! Go on, shoot me!" Having figured everything out (or so she thought), Dekomori Sanae eagerly began her death-seeking behavior. She activated her provocation skill with outstanding effect. "Right now I'm the strongest in the world! A mere toy gun…"
Bang!
The bullet grazed Dekomori Sanae's hair and struck the floor behind her.
"…It couldn't even scratch me."
"What a shame. It's a real gun." Diego blew away the gunsmoke, spun the gun in a flashy twirl, and pointed casually at the bullet hole in the floor. "If it had been off by one centimeter, you could've gone to hell to provoke the King of the Underworld. Hurry up and say thank you to Lord Dio!"
"Th… thank you, Lord Dio…" Dekomori Sanae's voice trembled. She clutched her head and meekly begged for mercy. "I'm sorry I couldn't force Lord Dio to go all out…"
After some explanation…
"Unacceptable! With strength like that you think you can be partners with me, Dio? Go home and sleep. A minion should know their place."
"Wind spirit, set the coordinates. Send the two before me to…"
Diego raised his hand. A magic circle floated in the air. He tossed the two inside like chicks.
With the help of the wind sprites, the pair returned home in mere seconds.
Only…
"Urgh~~~"
Takanashi Rikka and Dekomori Sanae hugged the trash can and vomited nonstop.
Great job, kids. Neither of them crashed. Rikka and Sanae are back safe.
Congratulations, congratulations.
...
The next day, an unexpected visitor arrived at Kitagawa Marin's house. Diego pressed the doorbell rapidly as usual.
Ding-dong-dong-dong-dong-dong…
Thud thud thud thud… click…
A series of violent collisions echoed across the wooden floor.
"Sorry…!" Kitagawa Marin appeared before Diego in disarray, panting heavily and clearly still half-asleep. "I-I just woke up…!"
"Hah… hah… I didn't expect Dio-kun to come over so suddenly. I was watching Retsu last night and couldn't stop…"
Diego stared blankly for a moment, blinked, raised his hand, pointed forward, and handed her a mirror—hinting that she should fix her clothes before talking.
Kitagawa Marin, still completely confused, took the mirror and stared into it for a long while before finally realizing something was wrong. A cold sweat dripped down.
"I haven't put in my colored contacts yet!!" Kitagawa Marin covered her face and dashed back into her room.
Didn't she miss the main point…?
Not long after, Kitagawa Marin returned wearing her colored contacts and a hoodie.
"Sorry to keep you waiting, Dio-kun. I really didn't expect you to suddenly invite me to shop for accessories~"
Because…
Time rewound to this morning.
Ding!
The World! Time that belongs only to me!
Money! I love money! Pretty straightforward, right!
Diego grinned as he stopped time, entered the group chat, and casually opened the red envelope Nijika had sent.
Time resumed…
Ijichi Nijika's red envelope was snatched empty in one second. Dio was the luck king.
Bocchi-chan: Eek! He actually lured Dio out!
Scummy Ryo: @Ijichi Nijika, why did you turn my exclusive red envelope into a random-luck one. [Despair.jpg]
Archangel Nijika: What do you mean yours—this is the perfect tool for catching wild Dio. @Dio, band practice this afternoon. Is that vocalist you mentioned free?
The Universe's Most Invincible, Handsomest, Strongest Dio-sama Himself: Of course! (He absolutely wasn't)
So early in the morning, Diego had rushed over to Kitagawa Marin's place—his goal being her friend who was practicing guitar.
Back to the present.
"Because I wanted to see you."
This was a lie!
This smooth-talking man had only come for the vocalist.
If he couldn't see her, he couldn't see her friend. That shouldn't count as lying with his eyes wide open, right?
But the Kitagawa Marin beside him had no idea what was going through his head. She only heard one sentence.
I want to see you… want to see you… see you…
Thump! Thump!
What is Dio-kun saying!!! This is basically a confession!
Wait, isn't this that thing—an invitation to a date?
This is definitely bad news… Kitagawa Marin stole a glance at Diego, then hurriedly caught up to him as they headed to the clothing store.
"Hey hey, wait for me, Dio—kun—!"
Mmm—I love this! So happy…
At the cosplay specialty counter, Diego was seriously selecting accessories.
"So far we've only got the clothes. Still need a wig, shoes, fake roses, thigh-highs, and…"
"Looks like this store has pretty much everything. We'll be done quick."
That meant plenty of time to bring her along.
"Speaking of which, Dio-kun, have you noticed anything different about yourself today?" Kitagawa Marin poked him and pulled him in front of a mirror.
Diego examined himself carefully in the mirror, slapped his forehead in regret, and cried out: "Wryyyyyyy—! Ko no Dio actually, actually forgot to wear gloves!!!"
Eh? What was I supposed to say… Your fly's broken and not fully zipped…
Didn't he miss the main point…?
"Um… Dio-kun, y-your fly isn't all the way up…" Kitagawa Marin blushed and pointed timidly toward the inappropriate area.
"Oh, you mean this? No problem. There isn't a single part of me, Dio, that can't be seen! Hahaha!"
In the end, under Kitagawa Marin's strong insistence, Dio decided to buy a new pair of pants.
While he was trying on clothes, a figure watched from the shadows with utterly shocked eyes.
"That's… Dio?!!"