"Yoshikawa! Who the hell is that bastard next to Hori?! Have you ever seen him?!!"
In the classroom, Ishikawa Toru lay slumped over his desk, pressing his voice low as he interrogated Yoshikawa Yuki.
Right now he was completely losing it. As someone who had secretly crushed on Hori for two and a half years of high school, seeing Hori walk into class with Diego nearly shattered his dao heart. He was so frantic he could only wail internally—waaah so pitiful.
Yoshikawa Yuki covered her mouth with her sleeve, swung her legs while seated, and thought for a moment.
"I don't think I know him."
"You think? Have you or haven't you seen him?"
"I know you're panicking, but calm down first. Let me think~ Let me think~ Ah! I remember!"
Ishikawa Toru looked at Yoshikawa Yuki with eyes full of hope, desperate for any intel on Diego Brando.
Please don't let him be her boyfriend. Cousin, right? He has to be her cousin!
"Today on the way to school, I saw Hori being carried by him while running…"
(When they first met at Hori's house, Diego hadn't worn his hat and had his hair down, so she failed to recognize him now with hat and tied-back hair.)
Crack!
"Eh? Toru, did you hear something?" Yuki poked the petrified Ishikawa Toru.
Hori was… carried by a strange man… without resisting or getting angry… and they came to school together…
I'm a complete loser, waaah…
"…It's nothing. That was just the sound of my heart breaking." Ishikawa Toru shed a single tear, picked up his math workbook to numb himself. "Thanks, Taro, but right now I just want to die. I'll thank you properly next time…"
"Who's Taro?! I'm Yoshikawa Yuki, your high school classmate! Toru's gone mad from the shock—!"
Yoshikawa Yuki grabbed her textbook and kept smacking Ishikawa Toru's head, muttering "so useless" while trying to snap him out of it.
"Fine, I'll go ask Hori for you."
"Yoshikawa! You're such a good person!" Ishikawa Toru revived, staring at Diego with unwilling, abstract eyes.
"Suddenly don't feel like helping you anymore."
"Yameee~"
Although they tried to keep their voices down, everything was still clearly heard by Diego with his superhuman hearing.
Heh heh~ My super hearing tells me it's time for the ultra-handsome me to unleash some earth-shattering action.
"Dio boss—! I can't believe you and Master ended up in the same class!" Dekomori Sanae dragged Takanashi Rikka forward to greet him. "『Master of the Thunder Warhammer』 has arrived! Death!"
"『Evil King's True Eye』 has arrived! Death!"
Oh? My loyal minions are here too. This must be gravity, hahaha.
"Dekomori, aren't you a third-year? How did you end up at Shuchiin?" Following the big-brother-concerned-for-little-sister principle, Diego expressed his concern quite forcefully.
"Heh heh~" Hearing this, Dekomori Sanae's nose lifted higher than the sky. She put her hands on her hips and laughed loudly. "Ahahahahaha…"
"Dekomori's dad is a board member of Shuchiin. Coming here is just an after-school hangout thing." Takanashi Rikka leaned close to Diego's ear and whispered.
What?!
This damn rich kid has been right beside me all along—give me back my life of wealth and privilege!
"No wonder, no wonder…"
Meanwhile Yoshikawa Yuki had already circled behind Hori. She lightly elbowed her twice and asked excitedly: "Good afternoon—Hori! Hey hey, who's that handsome guy who came to school with you?"
Before Hori could answer, Diego walked past Yuki, came straight to Ishikawa Toru with a smiling face, and spoke in a tone that sounded like a question but allowed no refusal:
"Yo, your name's Ishikawa Toru, right?"
"Looks like you get along pretty well with Hori."
"I just found it strange—you kept sneaking glances while Hori and I were talking, and every so often you'd show that gloomy, depressed look."
Diego took the chance to observe Ishikawa Toru's expression, then showed an "as expected" look. A playful expression naturally rose on his face.
"So that's how it is~"
Then he walked to Hori's desk, pushed Yoshikawa Yuki aside, took Hori's hand, and—in front of everyone's shocked faces—pinched Hori's chin and leaned in for a kiss. Just as their lips were about to meet, he stopped time.
The World! Now is my time!
Noticing Diego had paused, Hori slowly opened her eyes and asked in confusion: "Dio, why did you suddenly stop?"
"I need to apologize to you, Kyoko."
Their eyes were mere inches apart.
Hori's face looked troubled. Her voice became mosquito-like: "Wh… why?"
Diego replied: "I used you—including right now."
"What do you mean?"
"All this time I've been filling the empty space in my heart through you. You're so similar… to her…"
Hori broke into a cold sweat. A bad premonition surfaced in her mind. Her voice trembled as she asked: "Who is she?!"
"She was my mother. Gentle like you, always working hard for the family. You carry her shadow. That day when I collapsed with fever and watched you busily taking care of sick me… I almost thought she had come to take me away." Diego's gaze dimmed. He rubbed his temples. "After I recovered, you firmly occupied a corner of my heart. I kept thinking—was I actually falling for you, or was I just projecting my guilt toward my dead mother onto you?"
"But now I've finally figured it out. Listen carefully." Diego slowly exhaled, speaking with solemn gravity: "Hori Kyoko, I like you. From this moment on, I consider you my private property, Dio's. I'm going to mark you as mine in front of everyone."
"Next, I'm going to kiss you. If you want to refuse, it has to be right now…"
"Pfft, hahahaha! Dio, this is what you were worrying about?! So weird. After pushing a girl down and touching her face, all you say is something like this!" Hori laughed until tears came out. Her cheeks flushed slightly with shyness as she said: "Ahem, then listen carefully, Diego Brando."
"I like you way more than you imagine!"
Looking at Diego's face, Hori Kyoko felt as if time had truly paused. She could only hear her own heartbeat and Diego's voice beside her ear.
If it's Dio… it's okay. Because that's just how Dio is…
She wanted to say that, but for some reason, at this moment she couldn't speak a single word…
Hori answered with action. Her arms wrapped around Diego's neck as she pulled his head down, responding to his kiss.
Heh… the corners of Diego's mouth curved into a faint smile.
Time resumed…
"They… they kissed!" Takanashi Rikka and Dekomori Sanae said in unison, faces surging with excitement. They clenched their hands and went starry-eyed. "As expected of Dio! He easily did what none of us could! So hot-blooded, truly admirable!"
The classroom erupted in chaos. No one had expected that on the very first day of school, someone would pull off something this huge right in class.
In gal mode, Hayasaka Ai stood by the window pretending to chat animatedly with classmates while secretly observing Diego to gather intel for Shinomiya Kaguya—so she could thoroughly crush him in the next exam.
Looks about what Kaguya-sama said. This guy's hopeless…
Hayasaka Ai thought so.
Fujiwara Chika covered her eyes in embarrassment, face flushed red. A few seconds later she still peeked through a tiny gap, carefully watching Diego and Hori's kiss.
So forceful, so domineering… looks amazing… No no no—as the love detective I should harshly criticize this behavior.
Just one more peek.
"Damn it, let go of Hori!" Ishikawa Toru slammed the desk and stood up in fury, rolling up his sleeves to drag Diego away and fight him to the death.
"Calm down, Ishikawa!" But a male classmate held him back tightly and pointed at Hori, who was hugging Diego. "Look at Hori-san's reaction!"
Just then Diego pulled away from the kiss, lifted his head, crossed his hands beside his cheeks, and wore an infuriatingly smug expression.
"Have you confessed to Hori yet? No, right? Hori's first kiss wasn't with you—ko no Dio da!"
The method didn't matter. All he needed was to leave behind the established reality of having kissed her. A high-beauty, good-at-studies, witty-talking girl like Hori would definitely attract many suitors after some time getting to know her. Now she had been branded as his in front of the entire school.
Those hormone-crazed monsters who'd been holding back for college entrance exams wouldn't dare interfere anymore!
"Damn you!"
Just as the furious Ishikawa Toru shook off the classmate holding him back and prepared to charge at Diego, his peripheral vision caught Hori sitting there with a silly grin.
Dio's so forceful… completely different from usual. Hehe…
For some reason Hori had awakened some incredible hidden attribute. She sat in her chair savoring the moment, face filled with inexplicable happiness.
"Ah…" Ishikawa Toru instantly deflated. All strength and motivation gone, he stood frozen in place, shedding tears of humiliation.
They're mutually in love, and I'm just a rat licking the happiness of others from a dark corner.
Pat pat…
"You did enough, Ishikawa." A random classmate patted Ishikawa Toru's shoulder, gave a thumbs-up, and left.
Hug…
"You're a man!" Another random classmate rushed up, hugged Ishikawa Toru, and shook his head twice.
Praise…
Yet another random classmate stuck a handmade badge on Ishikawa Toru and thoughtfully added a red nose. Having finished everything, he left wordlessly.
Though Ishikawa Toru remained petrified, more and more classmates came over with pitying looks to comfort him.
Yameee, stop… you're only making me look more pathetic…
Click!
"My heart broke again." Yoshikawa Yuki scratched her head, stuck out her tongue—I already tried my best.
"Yoshikawa, I want to die for a bit…" Ishikawa Toru returned to his seat in total defeat, having reached a state of desirelessness comparable to a saint.
"Okay, but don't actually die, okay?"
Today's result: Ishikawa Toru and Bocchi-chan's crushing defeat.
(The plan to bring a guitar to school to attract attention and become a normie failed. Everyone's eyes were drawn to Dio's ruthless move, leaving Bocchi-chan trembling in her seat with zero screen time.)
No one cares about me, Bocchi-chan thought pessimistically.
Ding!
I'm not alone—someone cares!
Gotoh Hitori hurriedly opened her phone. There was an unread LINE message.
Ryo: Bocchi-chan, quick—lend me some money. I ate grass for a week but couldn't resist the new gourmet place that opened. If I can't pay, Kessoku Band will lose a great bassist! You don't want no one to pick up delivery, right?
If melancholy is a talent…
...
—Hori Household—
"Dio-oniichan, I ran into Jolyne at school today!" Sota grabbed Diego's hand excitedly and told him about school.
"Jolyne… what happened?"
"I saw Jolyne's dad. He's as tall as you, Dio-oniichan. Jolyne didn't want to go to school and was throwing a tantrum at her dad and the teacher. So scary. I was worried Jolyne was being bullied, so I ran over to pull her away."
"And then?"
"When Jolyne saw me, she suddenly agreed to come to school. Her dad kept bowing and apologizing to the teacher."
"I see… Sota, I'm giving you a sacred mission." Diego got up, went to the kitchen, took out the snacks he had baked from the oven, packed a portion into a bento box. "Take these snacks to Jolyne. If she misses me, bring her to our house. I saved some for you too—Hori and I already ate."
"Okay!" Sota patted his chest, took the bento box, looking every bit ready to complete the mission.
"Delicious!"
"Roar roar. I used to be called the Savior of the Hungry. Making snacks is muda da muda!"
After all, back in the wilderness I was always the one cooking. Sometimes I wanted to handle hunting and gathering ingredients too.
But Mabel and the others wouldn't let me. They said if I handled it, it'd definitely be all meat and organs…
Then Diego went to Hori's room, knocked, and entered after receiving permission.
"Kyoko, are you okay? Yeah… knowing all this is still too soon for you." Diego took a cup of hot water, placed it on the table in front of Hori, and patted her head. "Sorry. I didn't consider your ability to accept it."
"Idiot, that's not it. I'm just blaming myself." Hori still had her face buried in the pillow, having recovered from the shock of the memories Diego projected. "You were clearly in so much pain. I should've noticed earlier, but I… even though Dio always notices what's on my mind…"
Pain? Me?
After Mom died, I don't think I've felt such a weak emotion in a very long time.
Was I really in that much pain when I left Frieren and the others…?
Scary Monsters still hasn't sent any information about spatial-type Stand abilities.
"…What are you saying? The winner here is obviously me, Dio!"