I woke up early and was in the studio by seven.
Claire came in an hour later. Coffee in one hand, hair pulled back, curls still a little wild. She saw the notebook on the table and sat down without saying anything.
That was how we worked. She would talk, I would listen, and a few days later I would show up with something built out of what she said. She had told me about the guy from two years ago, the one who thought ambition was a personality flaw, who never once asked how a session went. She told it flat, no bitterness left in it. I took all of it and turned it into four minutes.
I played the beat first. Let it run twice.
She nodded with her eyes half closed.
"Okay," she said quietly.
I slid the notebook across. I still handwrote lyrics. It felt realer that way. She picked it up and read. I watched her face. She got to the chorus and something shifted in her expression, just a small tightening around the eyes. She finished and set it down.
"How did you know to write it like that?"
"You told me."
"I didn't tell you all of this."
"You told me enough."
She looked at the notebook one more time. Then she stood up and went to the booth.
* * *
She started singing. (LOST CAUSE) _ Billie Ellish
Something's in the air right now
Like I'm losing track of time
Like I don't really care right now, but maybe that's fine
You weren't even there that day
I was waitin' on you
I wondered if you were aware that day was the last straw for me and I know
I sent you flowers
Did you even care?
You ran the shower and left them by the stairs
Thought you had your shit together, but damn, I was wrong
You ain't nothin' but a lost cause
And this ain't nothin' like it once was
I know you think you're such an outlaw
But you got no job
I used to think you were shy
But maybe you just had nothing on your mind
Maybe you were thinkin' 'bout yourself all the time
I used to wish you were mine
But that was way before I realized
Someone like you would always be so easy to find
Gave me no flowers
Wish I didn't care
You'd been gone for hours
Could be anywhere
Thought you would've grown eventually, but you proved me wrong
You ain't nothing but a lost cause
And this ain't nothing like it once was
I know you think you're such an outlaw
But you got no job
What did I tell you?
Don't get complacent
It's time to face it now
I sat at the board and watched her through the glass. Eyes closed, one hand resting against the headphones. She was not performing. She was just singing it straight, like she had been holding it for two years and finally had somewhere to put it.
We worked on it for hours. She wanted to go back on the bridge three times. I let her because she was right each time.
When we called it she came out of the booth and sat on the couch. Tired and settled at the same time.
"When does it drop?" she asked.
"Week from now. You and Imani drop the same day. I announce both signings together."
She nodded. Then she looked at me. "I stopped believing it was actually going to happen. Like I knew I was good. I just stopped believing the rest of it was possible."
"It's not done yet," I said.
She smiled. "I know." She grabbed her jacket. "Thank you. For real."
I nodded. She left.
* * *
Imani came in three days later.
Crop top, low-rise jeans, platinum hair down. She sat cross-legged on the couch before I said anything. She had been sending me voice memos all week, two in the morning sometimes, a whole folder of references. All energy, no filter.
"Club record," she said before I pulled anything up. "That's what I want first. Something that goes."
"I know. I've had the beat for a week."
I played it. Bass heavy, fast. She stood up from the couch before it was halfway through.
"Yeah. That's it."
I gave her the notebook. She read it twice, lips moving on the rap verse. Then she looked up.
"The Imani references—"
"That's you. That's the whole point."
She looked back down and read it again. I watched something click.
"Okay," she said. "I got it."
She went in the booth.
* * *
She came out of the gate like she had been doing this for years. (Side to Side)_Ariana grande
I've been here all night, I've been here all day
And, boy, got me walkin' side to side
I'm talkin' to ya, see you standin' over there with your body
Feelin' like I wanna rock with your body
And we don't gotta think 'bout nothin'
I'm comin' at ya 'cause I know you got a bad reputation
Doesn't matter, 'cause you give me temptation
And we don't gotta think 'bout nothin'
These friends keep talkin' way too much
Say I should give you up
Can't hear them, no, 'cause I
I've been here all night, I've been here all day
And, boy, got me walkin' side to side
Been tryna hide it, baby, what's it gonna hurt if they don't know?
Makin' everybody think that we solo
Just as long as you know you got me
And, boy, I got ya 'cause tonight I'm makin' deals with the devil
And I know it's gonna get me in trouble
Just as long as you know you got me
Three takes in I leaned back and just watched her.
She had a self-confidence that was not performed. It was just there, built in. She moved in the booth like she was already at the show.
When she hit the rap verse she leaned into the mic and went.
Uh, yo, this the new style with the fresh type of flow
Wrist icicle, ride bicycle
Come through, get you this type of blow
If you wanna menage, I got a tricycle
A-a-all these bitch flows is my mini-me
Body smokin', so they call me Young Imani Chimney
Rappers in they feelings 'cause they feelin' me (murder)
Uh, I-I give zero fucks and I got zero chill in me
Kissin' me, copped the blue box that say Tiffany
Curry with the shot, just tell 'em to call me Stephanie
Gun pop, then I make my gum pop
I'm the queen of rap, young Imani run pop, uh
She came out after the third take and looked at me through the glass before she even took off the headphones. I gave her a nod.
She came through the door and dropped back onto the couch. Breathing a little hard, trying not to smile too big.
"Third take was clean," I said. "We might go back on the bridge but the bones are there."
She pulled her knees up. "I've been waiting to do that for three years."
"Do what."
"Be in a real studio. With a real beat. Recording something that's actually going to come out." She looked at me. "You don't know what it's like to want something that bad and not be able to get there."
I thought about the bedroom freestyles, the videos nobody watched, all the nights before any of it meant anything. I kept that to myself.
"I have some idea," I said.
She looked at me like she wanted to ask about it. Then she just nodded.
"A week," she said.
"A week."
She leaned back and stared at the ceiling. Her mom was in the corner smiling at her phone, same as every session.
I pulled up the next version of the track. Two artists, one week, a lot of work left.
I was not worried about it.