Hey guys!
I ultimately decided on the Jumpchain idea, but I'm abandoning the idea of wrapping up each world within one chapter. As much as I like to fuck around in these story's, I do want to tell a narrative whenever I do, even if it's with sex and stuff. Hell, I dunno if I'm doing it right, but to be honest, Adam and Lute are supposed to be foils or parelells of James and Niffty in a way.
Enough self-glaze tho, enjoy the show!
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The Golden Gates.
In most depictions of the gates of heaven, it's made out to be this thing that is larger than life, something that is impossible to reach for the damned souls in the pit of fire known as Hell, yet just in front of it were 2 damned beings.
The first, the princess of hell, Charlie in her iconic red suit, marveling at the gates. Having just stepped out of a portal her father provided for them, she instantly was hit with a wave of wonder. This was it, this was her whole dream, what she was trying to commit her life to! She knew that she could never attain eternal paradise like the people she's trying to redeem, but damnit, she wanted to experience it too!
And the second was the Archfiend, the unholy combination of the fame of sinners and the power of the gacha…A still very zooted James Richardson. To be honest, Charlie doesn't even know if he knows he's alive right now or just going along with the motions. "I'm hungry as a bitch, I really hope they got Arby's up here." He says off-handidly through closed eyes. As both of them walked to the gates.
[1x Golden Random Ticket: Visit Heaven as a Sinner without dying on the spot]
[Holy Water]
|Rare Ability|
Allows you to create and control holy water, holy water is very effective against unholy beings, you expend more energy to either create more water or create more potent holy water.
Somehow in his messed up brain that has been degraded by the weed, James decided to do something crazy. In only a moment, he used his crystal caesar to make a small bottle filled with the holy water from the ability he just got. Some of it splashed on its skin, but it barely itched for a second before going away, James putting the bottle to his lips and taking a long swig. The water burned going down his throat, his very existence rejecting the liquid inside of him, before he died in a blaze of–
"Smooth." He said casually, swirling the holy water around in his cup before taking another swig, finishing the entire bottle before dissipating it. "It's holy water, right? I can't get drunk off of it like alcohol" He muttered to himself before finally approaching the gates along with Charlie to meet with the enforcer.
"Why hello there you two!" A very cheery effeminate blonde man said. He had on a primarily blue and yellow suit with a small halo above him. "I'm St. Peter and if you'd just tell me your names, I can get you right into the gates." He said, opening a very thick book at his podium.
"I'm Charlie, this is James."
"Okay, Charlie and James, Charlie and James." Peter mumbled, using one hand to flip through the C section and the other to through the J section at the same time. "Hmmm, sorry, but I don't think I have either of you two on our list, everyone named Charlie or James died and went straight to Hell today."
"Excuse me, sir." James said, still not opening his eyes. "There must be someone you've confused me for, if I could see someone who knew me or someone in uniform to get this rectified, it would be great. I'm James Richardson and she's Charlie Morningstar–"
"Fuck!" Peter exclaimed, interrupting James' sentence and taking a big gulp. "You two should not be here, uhhh…" He panics for a second, scratching his head until a golden glow appears above him.
"We'll take it from here Peter." A voice said from above, everyone looking up.
The angel who had spoken at first was tall, taller than anybody James or Charlie had ever seen in their lives, being around 10 feet tall. She had a luscious mane of silver locks, making a great contrast with her dark skin and white clothes along with her white wings.
However, there was another angel, one that seemed much younger than the other one, but no less heavenly. She was much shorter, being barely taller than Charlie but still had the same skin, hair, wings, and clothes as Sera. In fact, it wouldn't have been a stretch at all to say that the two were closely related, maybe even being sisters.
"Welcome to Heaven you two." The taller one said, floating down and opening the gates by herself with a small smile on her face. "My name is Seraphiel, the angel of silence, and my little sister here is Emily, the Joy-bringer."
"It is SO nice to meet both of you!" Emily squealed out, flying down to practically dive-hug Charlie and James. "Sera told me that you two were here to try and help out hell by seeing what Heaven is like."
"That's right, I actually have a hotel to try and redeem sinners."
"Oh…My…Dad…That is sooooo cool!!!!!!!!!!" Emily squealed out once again, holding Charlie's hands and bouncing up and down. "You gotta come in, let me show you and James around, I can give you both the full tour of–"
The sound of a throat clearing itself was made very clearly by Sera, interrupting Emily and managing to get her to be quiet for Sera to finish. "As Emily said, we'll give you both the full tour of Heaven before you try and showcase your hotel to the angelic court in 3 days. You both already have a hotel planned for you" She stated, opening up the gates and motioning for the three of them to follow her.
Charlie and Emily followed, talking all along the way, but James stayed behind, looking at the ground. "...Hey, Saint Peter, do you mind if I ask you a question?"
"Huh? Sure, whaddya need?"
"Is there a woman or person in general named Alicia Lichtenstein up here? She died a couple years ago, a blonde white girl who should've gotten up here when she was about a teenager."
Peter opened up his book, swiftly flipping through thousands of pages within only milliseconds, his eyes scanning every single name he could. After a minute or two, he closed his eyes in regret. "Sorry, but there've been about 14,252,415 Alicia's that died, only 262,351 with the surname of Lichtenstein, 14,515 were white but none of them died within their teens."
James held his head down, letting out a small hum of affirmation. "I thought so." He mumbled under his breath. "Thanks for checking anyway." He said before running off to catch up with Charlie and the angels.
***20 Minutes Later***
"And this is where we keep the elevators to go the upper layers of Heaven, though it's only here in case something really important happens that the Arch-angels need to know about, otherwise any mortal soul would be left blinded for 4 months and forget everything that happened the moment they step foot in here." Sera explained, showing off their resident elevator as she walked the group down the streets of Heaven.
PFFFTT!!!!
However, someone had more than a little protest about it.
Adam spat out his smoothie on the ground, wiping his mask clean as he looked back at the crew, wiping his eyes to try and confirm the utter bullshit that he just saw. "Danger-tits, tell me I'm not getting fucked with, for the love of DAD tell me I'm not getting fucked with." He seethed, his hand closing around his smoothie on the verge of popping.
"No, you're not getting fucked with, sir, there's a damn sinner here." Lute said, somehow just as angry and spiteful as Adam. She currently had her mask off, having just been hanging around with Adam after work when they had laid their eyes on that damn abomination in Heaven.
Adam clenched his fists tight, tighter than he had in more than a couple years before he started to think out loud. "He can't have gotten in by himself, even an Archfiend couldn't break those stupid fuckin' gates down and Peter could just teleport his twink ass into Heaven if one somehow gotten up, so he must've…" He trailed off in the middle of his sentence, more anger taking over him. "Someone must've made a deal."
"Fuck!" He cursed out loud, his smoothie fully popping and covering himself in dark purple liquid, however, in a moment golden light washed over him and made it all disappear. "Go do whatever the fuck you want, I'm busy now." He said, not even waiting for a response before he teleported, leaving Lute alone.
The place he teleported to was a place unlike the rest of Heaven. Instead of sharing bright golds or comforting white's, it was grey, muted, almost like an area that wasn't supposed to exist in the first place in neither Heaven nor Hell. There was only one hallway that Adam marched his way down into, passing by multiple doors that had various names on it.
Eventually at the end of the hallway was a mini-observatory, the entirety of the top having a painting. The painting was of a younger Adam, one who was still wearing a fig leaf over his private parts instead of clothes throwing a shoulder over someone else.
The other person in question, wasn't a human, no, it was a humanoid figure made of pure metal that had the same fig leaf over their privates even though it had none. Emulating Adam even more, it had a crude face that looked like it was drawn on by a sharpie by a toddler in a coloring book.
Without even looking up at the painting, Adam didn't break his pace, opening the first door in front of him where that same person in the painting resided. "Mettatron, I need a huge fucking favor, like something MASSIVE."
Mettatron's office was surprisingly empty, only featuring a desk that they laid their head on before Adam came in along with a bookshelf that had deceptively small packs of various paperwork on it that they were obviously procrastinating on. They lifted their head up, tilting it a bit at Adam's question.
"I need you to give me access to the vault."
***Elsewhere***
[1x Golden Random ticket: Get Lute irrationally mad at you]
[Wind breathing]
|Rare Skill|
Demon Slayer - Wind Breathing is a specialized swordsmanship style and breathing technique that mimics wind, specifically powerful torrents of air and whirlwinds, and replicates it with the user's movements, techniques and abilities. Most, if not all, known techniques and forms involve purely offensive attacks, most of which utilise fast rotating movements to generate swift whirlwind-like slashes that greatly increase the wielder's striking range as well as utilizing the air around them to deliver sharp sickle-shaped flying slash attacks and gale force winds.
'Who the hell is Lute?' James thought, bored out of his mind. He doesn't know if it's him or Sera, but this entire tour has just been so boring to him. It's been about an hour by now and even though Charlie has been having fun, there's nothing that he wouldn't give to go back to Hell and play with Niffty's tits or ass, that would've been infinitely more entertaining than this tour.
'Y'know what? Fuck it, we ball.' He thought, intentionally walking a little slower than everybody else and letting them go about the tour, his presence being hidden until he just made a sharp left turn, separating himself from the group and giving him free access to the rest of Heaven. 'I'll track down Charlie later, I need some good Arby's right now.' He thought, walking off.
However, there was something that his weed-ridden mind wasn't aware of…
He wasn't aware of the obsessed angel stalking him from a distance.
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THE END
What the fuck is fate? There's been so many fanfics about this one damn IP and none of it makes sense. What I've gained from t is that people can randomly summon people throughout history with things called "noble phantasms" that are just "Fuck-you-nigga-I-win" buttons, however, who the hell is Ankoman, who is Emiya, who's Ritsuka, Chaldea, a singularity, what even is this damn thing? IS it a game, movie, anime, what the FUCK is Fate!????
Also if you can't picture Mettatron, imagine them to be a metallic robot version of Abel from the amazing digital circus.
Ok bbbyyyyeeeeee!