This book might paint me as a villain, a toxic man, a heartless one at that but this is my truth. A lot had happened before page one, a heartbreak, grief, disappointments and bad decisions, a past that I wish to bury for forever. Everywhere I go, everything I do and every single day of my life, I'm haunted by the ghosts of my first love, I've tried to outgrow that part of me but it's led me to the darkest paths of the world. I hope this book is received and enjoyed as intended, all in all this is my truth.

Your mommy probably told you a few years ago that you shall not accept shit like this, a guy that's caught up in his past while you're trying to prove your love to him.


You don't deserve the stuff that I've put you through, the lack of validation from me, the sex addiction and the toxic treatment. It's my fault why you're competing with somebody that isn't a part of my life anymore, all because I just can't stop looking for her in everybody.


I'm so indecisive, sometimes I don't want her, then I love her, sometimes I regret her, then I miss her, I just can't make up my mind, I'm sorry for putting you in this position. Nobody wants to be with somebody who is in love with their ex, nobody wants to be competing with a past but this is my reality, you're trying to love me when I'm still holding on to my past. 


I'm indecisive about her. Your mommy probably told you about guys like me, forgive me babe, I can't be available for you emotionally because I'm still holding on to my past.


Chapter 9 - OLD FLAMES pt.2