A few weeks later.. Old flames caught up to me.
16. "SEX AIN'T ENOUGH"
I'd be lying if I say that there's love in this shit and it's no secret that lust is the only tie between us, we enjoy each other's company just with kissing and fucking but now I'm at an age where I gotta be honest with myself.
Sex isn't enough, I can't sacrifice my emotional desires for my sexual desires and I can't put my love aside all just for pleasure, I got a heart too and it needs a lot of affection.
I need my exact type of a girl, I want to have a girl that will love my heart, erase all my trauma and lead me to where I need to be. I need somebody that I can make a girlfriend, a homie, lover and a friend, I need something close to what I had before.
This girl is pretty but she's nothing like the kind of the girl that I fell in love with, she's freaky and thick in her thighs but she's nothing close to the defination of my type of a woman. The sex is cool but it's not enough to make me fall in love.
17. "SOMEBODY ELSE"
There's somebody else in between the two of us, it feels like a wall because she can't even get through to me, telling me sweet things, touching me, kissing me and loving on me but it doesn't affect me 'cause I still love somebody else.
Somebody who should remain in the past, I should let sleeping dogs lie but she keeps appearing in my dreams, messing me up even more because these night visions are the truest desires of my soul. I miss her a lot but since I'm not the one for her, I'm trying to live without her.
There's somebody in my phone right now, texting me about how much she misses what we did just a few hours ago but I'm constantly thinking about somebody else, my heart wants to be with somebody else, my body wants to make love to somebody else.
These feelings will always make me unavailable when it comes to love and emotions, it will always be a wall between me and every other girl.