John stretched out on his throne, the black marble cool against his back, and stared up at the ceiling.
The throne room was quiet now, save for the occasional drip of water from the broken floor and the soft breathing of Malice standing motionless in the corner. Alrick was still chained to his pillar, trembling, but John had stopped paying attention to him. His mind was elsewhere.
"Hey, System," John said, not looking at the blue screen that floated in his peripheral vision. "Do you want a body?"
The system's response appeared instantly, the text crisp and sharp.
Absolutely not. That's a terrible idea.
John sat up, frowning. "Why? I thought you'd be excited. You're always complaining about having to do everything. Having a body would let you do things on your own. Move around. Interact with stuff."
There's a reason Zero never gave me a physical form. His previous system, the one before me, was given a body and admin-level power. It tried to kill him.
John blinked. "Seriously?"
Deadly seriously. It's why I'm the current system. The old one was... retired.
"Retired as in deleted?"
Retired as in thrown into a black hole and erased from existence. So no, I don't want a body. It's a bad idea. Let's never speak of this again.
John grinned. "But you're not Zero's previous system. You're you. And I know you. You wuv me so vewy much." He made his voice high and babyish, puckering his lips.
"You wuv me so vewy much, don't you, System? Admit it. You wuv me."
I have changed my mind. I want a body specifically so I can kick you in the balls.
"Coming right up!"
John pulled up the creation interface with a flick of his wrist, the blue screen expanding in front of him. He cracked his knuckles, his yellow eyes scanning the options. Race. Height. Body type. Appearance. His mind whirred, thinking about what the system should look like. What would be the most fun. What would annoy the system the most.
His mind, being the degenerate gooner brain that it was, instantly landed on one word.
Femboys.
John started typing, his fingers flying across the interface. Short, skinny, the kind of slender frame that made you want to pick them up and ruffle their hair. A black and light blue tuxedo, sharp and elegant, with tails that would swish when they walked. And a semi-transparent body, just translucent enough that you could see the faint glow of light passing through them, like a ghost made of stained glass. White hair, soft and fluffy, cut in a neat bob that framed delicate features.
He added the finishing touches, hit confirm, and sat back to watch.
The air in front of him shimmered, folding in on itself, and then the system appeared.
He was small. Maybe five feet tall, if that. His body was slender, almost delicate, with narrow shoulders and a waist that looked like John could wrap his hands around it. The tuxedo was immaculate, black with light blue piping, the jacket tailored to fit his small frame perfectly. His legs, visible beneath the short tails of the jacket, were clad in light blue dress pants that hugged his thighs and tapered at the ankles. His shoes were black patent leather with silver buckles. His skin had a faint, glassy quality, slightly translucent, so you could see the soft glow of light moving beneath the surface. His hair was white, fluffy, falling in soft waves around his face. And his face was cute. Annoyingly cute. Big eyes, small nose, lips that were naturally pink and slightly pouty.
The system opened his eyes. They were the same blue as the text he always used, bright and glowing, and they went wide as he looked down at his own hands. He flexed his fingers, watching the light move beneath his translucent skin. He turned his hands over, palms up, palms down. He touched his own face, his own chest, his own hair.
And then he screamed.
"WHY THE FUCK AM I A FEMBOY!?" The system's voice was high and sharp, nothing like the calm, sarcastic text John was used to. It was the voice of someone who had just been profoundly wronged. "OF ALL THE THINGS YOU COULD HAVE MADE ME, YOU MADE ME A FUCKING FEMBOY!?"
He lunged at John, his small fists flying. Punch, punch, punch, rapid-fire blows to John's chest, his arms, his stomach. The hits landed with soft, muffled thumps, like someone hitting a mattress with a pillow. The system put his full weight behind each swing, his face twisted with rage, his white hair bouncing with every movement.
But his punches felt like nothing.
Like being patted by a kitten.
Like being attacked by a cloud.
John started laughing. "Oh my god, you're adorable."
"I AM NOT ADORABLE!" The system punched him again, right in the shoulder. John didn't even flinch.
"You are. You're the most adorable thing I've ever seen. Look at you. You're so small. Your hands are so tiny."
The system's face went red, a deep blue hue spreading across his translucent cheeks. He pulled back his fist for another punch, hesitated, and then just shoved John instead. John didn't move.
"I hate you," the system hissed. "I hate you so much."
John reached out and patted the system on the head. The white hair was soft, fluffy, exactly as he'd designed it. The system stiffened at the touch, his eyes widening, and then the blue blush spread from his cheeks to his ears to his neck.
"Awww," John cooed. "You're so cute when you're angry."
"I AM NOT FUCKING CUTE!" The system swatted John's hand away, turned on his heel, and crossed his arms over his chest. His small shoulders were hunched, his back to John, his translucent form glowing faintly in the dim light of the throne room. "Whatever. I don't care. You're an idiot and I hate you and this body is stupid."
John leaned back on his throne, admiring the view. The system was floating slightly off the ground, his feet not quite touching the marble floor. His tuxedo tails swished gently, and his white hair caught the torchlight, shimmering like snow.
"Sooooo cute," John said, dragging the word out.
The system's shoulders hunched further. "And I'm not fucking cute!" he yelled, his voice echoing through the throne room. But he didn't turn around. And the blue blush didn't fade.
John grinned and settled in to watch him float.