It's so hard to move on....
To act like you were never here...
it's too hard, i feel so guilty.
I missed you, alot
Even though you never spoke much,
i missed your presence beside me,
the times when your silence brought me comfort.
I can't help it, guilt eats me alive.
I stare at the sky looking at the stars, i again remember, you always watch the stars with me in silence.
"They're beautiful" i once heard you whisper.
I imagined, if there would ever be a chance to fix this, a chance to bring you back.
I'd grab it, anything to bring you back.
Tears streamed down my eyes as whispered apologies.
"What are you longing for?" A voice startles me.
I look at the person who spoke to me with wide eyes, it was an old man, i wondered how he was able to reach here.
Wait!..... Wasn't i the only one on the roof top??
"You haven't answered my question" the voice brought me back fromy thoughts.
My friend, she's dead; i whispered as my eyes started to get filled with tears.
The old man sighed, he looked at me, his face unreadable.
"I can help you, but you must pay the price " the old man said.
My eyes widened in shock and freight.
What is he talking about?
Her fate has been sealed from the beginning, she's paying the price for someone else's sin.
What are you talking about? I asked in fear.
Jace, isn't it? that's your name, right?
How do you know my name? I asked taking a step backward, my heart hammering against my chest as i stare at the man before me.
He was silent for a while, he looked away and sighed.
"Think about it"; he began
" I'll be back once you've made a decision, that's if you want her back"
How would you know that I've made a decision? I asked confusedly.
"Trust me, i will"; he answered while i closed my eyes in frustration.
" who the hell was he! "
I opened my eyes only to be met with an empty space. The door leading to the roof top was closed, i didn't hear any sound of retreating footsteps, so how did he leave.
My mouth hung open in shock as more fear slowly crept into me making the hair on my skin stand.
What's going on? Was that a ghost? Am i imagining things?
I just want her back, not whatever this is....
I quickly picked up my bag, running away from there. My head spinning, trying to process everything.
_______________________________
Somewhere.....
A girl sat in her bedrom holding a picture in her hand, she stared at it in anger, pain...
"It's not over, you think death was a quick escape for you? You will feel this pain, over and over again, no matter how many time you're born, no matter how many life you live"; the girl whispered venomously.
"Astra" a voice called making the girl swiftly turn around, a piercing stare on who called her.
how many times have i told you not to call me by that name? she asked
But, we are alone...; the voice replied
I don't care, i don't want anyone to know who i really am! The girl snapped, glaring at the person before her.
"Don't raise your voice at me little girl" the voice warned in a low voice.
I'm sorry Miss. Isolde, but do not call me Astra, for now, please, the walls have ears; the girl apologized.
Fine, but next time, remember,. I'm older than you by years you can't imagine, be respectful; Miss. Isolde replied, turned and walked out, ignoring the girls hard gaze on her.
________________________________
As expected, dark cycles around my eyes.
How could i have slept?
I had different thoughts going through my head.
I needed a distraction but nothing worked.
I tried to study, but i couldn't
games? Failed
T.V? I completely zoned out.
I'm exhausted.
I feel so much guilt and confusion.
The old man, i dont even know if he was real.
But if he was, I'm ready.
As i stared at her diary, i wondered if she would be happy to return to this life.
But i missed her so much, i don't know how to let her go.
I'm ready to do anything to bring her back, anything.....
"Jace! Come down breakfast is ready" my mom called
I closed my eyes again, letting myself spiral for a while. That seems to be the only thing i could do since she died.
"Jace!" My mom called again
"Old man...., wherever you are, I'm ready"; i thought before walking out.