I heard rumors, whispers here and there, that you were an attention seeker, pathetic and jealous.
I didn't know what it was really about but i paid no attention.
My childhood friend fell sick, i needed to take care of her.
I was on my way when you ran up to me, eyes wide, crying heavily.
You begged me to walk you home, saying you were scared, something about someone following you.
I tried to explain that i couldn't, but you kept begging, crying harder.
Then i snapped, yelled at you,saying words i wish i could take back.
you froze, staring silently as your hand slid from my arm while i walked away.
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My childhood friend got better eventually.
I looked for you, but learnt that you've been absent for four days now.
no one saw or heard anything from you.
I became restless when there was still no sign of you days later.
i decided to come to your place, a little room where you stayed, i couldn't believe you survived here.
I stepped in, it was empty, i was only met with an old lady staring at me in confusion.
She asked who i was, and i told her.
I asked for you, but was met with silence and a devastating answer.
You were gone, murdered in front of this room.
Was that why you begged me to walk you home then, you were being stalked.
If only i had listened, this wouldn't have happened.
I sat in front of my bed, looking at the box in front of me. The old woman gave it to me before i left.
It contained the book i gave you and your diary. I got to find out so many things about you. Things you couldn't say.
Was that why you asked if i would stay? I feel horrible.
I should have seen it, the sign, you were depressed, you've survived imaginable thing's.
Your mother died while giving birth to you. Growing up, you were violated by a man who should have protected you. You were blamed by people you should have called family and thrown out. You've lived on the street, worked different jobs and done different things to survive.
Honestly, i don't know how you survived this far, but you're strong, the strongest girl I've ever met.
These things are never easy to talk about. I don't blame you.
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Now standing before your grave, i can't help but cry.
I should have never left you alone, i should have been there, i should have tried harder.
I regret it, I'm sorry.
You left quietly... Same way you came,
I should have done better.
I'm sorry... I didn't know, i never knew.
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HER
I've worked hard, life isn't easy for me.
I've tried, I'm getting tired.
I met someone, he stayed, he wasn't like them, he didn't hurt me.
I didn't trust him at first, i couldn't but i later did.
He was a true friend, he became someone closer to the family i wish i had.
Soon i got attached, i felt like i couldn't live without him.
I wished he would stay for long, but he didn't.
I don't blame him though, maybe i became too much.
With him, i finally felt happy, comfortable and safe.
He was my safe place, but also a final prove that i was never meant to be happy, because it seems any good thing i get will be snatched away.
I believe,somewhere at the end, there were many good people, I'm grateful for having someone who sees me as an important person for once, someone who cares.
As i finally closed my eyes, i wished him happiness.
If there was a next life, i wish never to be born.