Chapter 36: NAME GAME
[National City, CatCo Building Rooftop — Late November 2016, 2:15 PM]
The rooftop was Kara's choice—visible, public, a stage for the confrontation we needed. Below us, National City continued its chaos: flowers still decaying in the streets, the love song finally stopped but its echo lingering in everyone's exhausted minds.
"Are you sure about this?" Kara asked, adjusting her cape.
"No." Honest answer. "But it's the best plan we have."
"He could hurt you."
"He could hurt me by breathing wrong. Fifth-dimensional beings don't exactly play fair." I took a breath, steadying myself. "But his ego is his weakness. He wants to prove he's better than me. We just have to give him the opportunity."
Kara reached out, squeezed my hand. "If it goes wrong—"
"Then you'll save me. Like always."
She almost smiled. "Cocky."
"Confident. There's a difference."
She stepped to the center of the rooftop, lifted her chin, and spoke with the theatrical projection of someone who knew she was being watched.
"Mxyzptlk! I've reconsidered your proposal!"
The air shimmered. Purple light coalesced. And the imp appeared, lounging on an invisible chaise, dressed today in an even more elaborate suit with gold embroidery that hurt to look at.
"My darling! I knew you'd see reason!" He floated to his feet, arms spread wide. "What changed your magnificent mind?"
"I've realized I was being unfair." Kara's voice carried just the right note of reluctant admission. "You've demonstrated your power. Your devotion. But Mon-El claims he's worthy of me too. I think you should both have a chance to prove it."
Mxyzptlk's expression shifted from delight to suspicion to interest. "A competition?"
"A contest of words." I stepped forward, playing my role. "You're so convinced you're smarter than me. Prove it."
"A contest of words against a Daxamite?" The imp laughed—genuinely laughed, his whole body shaking with amusement. "That's like racing a slug! There's no sport in it!"
"Then you should win easily." I crossed my arms. "Unless you're afraid."
"Afraid?" His laughter cut off. "I have existed since before your species crawled from the mud. I have witnessed the birth and death of civilizations. I have played word games with beings whose minds you couldn't comprehend." He floated closer, eyes narrowing. "I am not afraid of you."
"Then prove it."
The air crackled. Mxyzptlk's expression shifted to something between offense and anticipation.
"Fine. A contest of words." He snapped his fingers, and a judges' panel appeared behind him—floating creatures that looked like animated question marks. "First to three points wins. If I win, Kara agrees to one date. If you win, I leave for..." He paused, calculating. "One of your Earth days."
"A month," Kara countered.
"A week."
"Two weeks."
"Done." Another snap, and the rooftop transformed into a game show stage, complete with podiums and flashing lights. "Shall we begin?"
I stepped to my podium, fighting to keep my expression appropriately nervous. The act required me to look outmatched, overwhelmed, like someone who'd bitten off more than he could chew.
Given that I was facing a reality-warping being who could turn me into a newt with a thought, the nervous part wasn't entirely acting.
"First challenge," Mxyzptlk announced. "Synonyms. I'll give you a word, you give me a synonym. First to fail loses the round."
"Okay," I said, injecting uncertainty into my voice.
"Large."
"Big."
"Rapid."
"Fast."
"Pulchritudinous."
I blinked. "Uh... pretty?"
Mxyzptlk's eye twitched. "That's... technically correct." He clearly hadn't expected me to know that one. "Point to the Daxamite."
One to zero. The crowd—which had somehow gathered despite the rooftop location—cheered.
"Lucky guess," Mxyzptlk muttered. "Next challenge. Tongue twisters. Repeat after me without errors."
He launched into a series of increasingly complex phrases. I stumbled on the third one, deliberately mispronouncing "seashells" as "sheshells."
"Ha! Point to me!" Mxyzptlk crowed. "Told you this would be easy!"
One to one. The game continued.
The third challenge was spelling. Mxyzptlk chose words from what he claimed was the "fifth-dimensional dictionary"—sounds that weren't quite language, concepts that didn't quite translate. I failed spectacularly, spelling "glorpnak" as "glorpnak" when apparently the correct answer was "glorpnak."
"The letters are the same!" I protested.
"The intent was different!" Mxyzptlk giggled. "Point to me!"
Two to one. His favor.
The plan was working. I needed him overconfident, dismissive, so sure of his superiority that he'd fall into the trap without thinking.
"One more point and I win," the imp gloated. "Last chance, Daxamite. What shall we do? A poetry recitation? A debate on fifth-dimensional ethics? Oh, I know!" His eyes gleamed. "Pronunciation."
"Pronunciation?" I swallowed visibly.
"Simple challenge. I'll say a word. You repeat it correctly. First to mispronounce loses." He floated to his podium, radiating smugness. "Given your performance so far, this should be over quickly."
"Fine." I straightened, trying to project false confidence. "Let's do it."
"The word is: Antidisestablishmentarianism."
I repeated it. Correctly.
"Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia."
Correct again.
Mxyzptlk's expression flickered. He hadn't expected me to get past the first word.
"Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis."
I took a breath. "Pneumono... ultra... microscopic... silicovol..." I fumbled. "Silicovolcano... coni... osis?"
Close enough that the judges accepted it. Mxyzptlk's jaw tightened.
"Fine. Let's try something more personal." His voice dropped, the showmanship fading into something harder. "Pronounce my name."
"Your name?"
"Mxyzptlk. Surely you've heard it enough times by now."
I pretended to concentrate. "Mix... yzz... pit... lick?"
"Wrong!" He laughed, but there was frustration beneath it. "It's Mxyzptlk! MIKS-yez-PIT-lik! Even a child could say it!"
"I'm trying." I screwed up my face in exaggerated concentration. "What if I go backward? Kltpzyxm?"
I butchered the pronunciation deliberately. Made it sound like I was choking on syllables.
"That's not even close!" Mxyzptlk was almost sputtering now. "The backward form is KLTPZYXM! It's simple! Watch: kltpzyxm!"
The word hung in the air.
For one frozen moment, nothing happened.
Then reality screamed.
The rooftop game show shattered like glass. The judges vanished in puffs of smoke. Mxyzptlk's expression shifted from triumph to confusion to horrified realization.
"No," he whispered. "No, no, no—I didn't mean—"
A vortex opened behind him, purple and black and impossible, spinning with the force of dimensional boundaries reasserting themselves.
"You TRICKED me!" he shrieked, scrabbling against nothing as the vortex pulled him backward. "You stupid, clever, INFURIATING—"
"Bye," I said, and waved.
"I'LL BE BACK! YOU CAN'T KEEP ME OUT FOREVER! KARA, MY LOVE, I'LL RETURN FOR—"
The vortex swallowed him. The sound cut off. The air settled.
Silence.
Then Kara burst out laughing.
"His face!" She doubled over, cape pooling around her. "When he realized what he'd said—"
"Worth every second of chicken suit humiliation." I couldn't help but grin. "Think he'll stay gone?"
"For a while." She straightened, still chuckling. "The banishment should hold for at least two weeks, maybe longer. By then, hopefully he'll find someone else to obsess over."
The crowd below was cheering—they'd watched the whole confrontation through some combination of fifth-dimensional projection and smartphone cameras. I could see news helicopters circling, reporters already broadcasting.
"SUPERGIRL'S MYSTERY PARTNER DEFEATS REALITY-WARPING VILLAIN" would probably be the headline. Or maybe "CHICKEN MAN SAVES CITY."
I hoped it was the first one.
Kara turned to me, her expression shifting from amusement to something softer.
"You played dumb brilliantly," she said. "I almost believed you didn't know what you were doing."
"Years of practice." The words came easily, covering the deeper truth they concealed. "Being underestimated is useful."
"You volunteered to be bait. Let him humiliate you publicly. Risked getting turned into something worse than a chicken." She stepped closer. "Why?"
"Because it worked. Because you needed help. Because—"
She kissed me.
Not a private kiss, not a hidden moment. A kiss in front of the news cameras, the watching crowds, the entire city of National City. A public declaration that made my heart race faster than any fifth-dimensional threat.
When she pulled back, her eyes were bright.
"Thank you," she said simply.
"Anytime."
Below us, camera flashes sparked like tiny suns. Tomorrow's headlines would be very interesting.
---
That night, in Kara's apartment, we sprawled on her couch with pizza and a movie neither of us was watching. The chaos had settled. The flowers were finally cleared. The world had returned to its normal level of insanity.
"You played dumb very convincingly," Kara said, reaching for another slice. "Almost too convincingly."
"What do you mean?"
"The way you guided Winn to the name weakness. The way you knew exactly how to provoke Mxyzptlk into the trap." She looked at me, expression thoughtful. "You're smarter than you pretend to be."
"Maybe I just got lucky."
"Maybe." She didn't sound convinced. "Or maybe you have depths I haven't discovered yet."
The transmigrator secret pressed against my consciousness. The meta-knowledge that had let me orchestrate this victory. The lies of omission that kept piling up despite my promises.
Whatever you're still not telling me—I can wait.
"Everyone has depths," I said finally. "I'm still discovering my own."
She accepted that. For now.
Outside, National City hummed with its usual nighttime energy. Somewhere, Mxyzptlk was screaming into the fifth-dimensional void. Somewhere, news anchors were debating "SUPERGIRL'S MYSTERY PARTNER." Somewhere, the Cadmus organization was plotting something terrible.
But here, in this moment, there was pizza and companionship and the hard-won peace of a battle successfully concluded.
One victory at a time.
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