The details of that day, the cooling of a hand, the first cry of a child, are still blurred in my memories.
Perhaps there was something more to what she had said in her final moments.
Perhaps Something more to what I said.
Or something more to what I felt, but regardless of everything, While I've been living this dull but necessary life, those memories have already been partially erased from my mind. And In particular, I don't want to revisit 'That Chapter' of my Life either.
The Only things i remember are the things that she made me realize. Things like How People can be sometime so Wrong about themselves, how wrong they can be about their own feelings.
How Much a death can hurt, depending on who the person is.
How much change, the sheer amount of Difference that the presence of a Single person can bring to your life.
How ...The Absence of a single person, can make the entire world feel So ...Empty, So Dull and Colorless.
Ever since then, I tried what I could, to love her, Our daughter. I truly did but once she reached a certain age it was hard to love her the same way. That love became a suffocating weight.
She was, after all, Naty's spitting image, except for her eyes.
The more she grew up the more she resembled her and thus, reminded me of what she caused me to lose. On every one of her birthdays, I remembered that it was also her death anniversary day. It was as if I celebrated her birth with a black ribbon around my heart.
I know it's cruel to blame what happened, upon a mere child who did not even ask to be born. How can i blame her? It is an objective madness to blame a child for the crime of being born. Being born or existing is no sin, at least not of the child.
But i could not help it.
Still, I told myself I was doing my best. Since I could not give her love face to face, i tried to do so from the shadows.
I partitioned a small section of the Volk library with books that a girl of her age would like, just for her. Perhaps hoping that the Daughter would follow the hobbies the Mother.
I sent her gifts from time to time that I thought she would like.
I prepared for the head maid to be her teacher since I thought being taught by a stranger or an outsider might make her uncomfortable and since June and Naty were good friends, I thought June would see Natasha in Rem and cherish her. I thought she might teach Rem with great care... But...
My care had become her poison.
As I sat there, the weight of my regrets pressing against my temples, a soft knock echoed through the door.
"Father, may I come in ?" It was a young girl's voice.
Perhaps now that I have put my attention on her, now that I have realized that whatever I've been doing for her was not the right thing, I can fell her voice more clearly than ever. The voice was small, hesitant—the sound of a child who had learned to expect a cold reception.
Just How ignorant have i been to not even realize this until now...
"Yes" i answered.
The door opened, and she entered. I looked at the young girl standing before me, at a distance. The eight years old child who looked very much alike a girl I once knew, years ago.
I had met Naty when she was twelve but, somehow I can tell. I didn't need a portrait to know. When she was eight she must've looked Just like this.
*****
-Roar!
A Giant monster swung his Blunt wooden Club Downward towards me with the single-minded goal of crushing my head skull into a mangle of flesh and Calcium powder. So...
-Crash! Boom!
Haste!
The stone floor shattered where I had been standing a millisecond prior.
But I side stepped quickly, avoiding the strike and used lightning movement spell, [Haste] to move at a distance from my enemy. I put twenty meters of safe distance between myself and the beast.
Verden is a beautiful world, with all kinds of intelligence and non-intelligent races. Both beautiful and ugly.
That goes for beasts and monsters as well. Yes, there were both beautiful and ugly monsters. In fact, some monsters are so beautiful that people hesitate to even call them monsters. There are also both humanoid and non-humanoid monsters. Some are so majestic you'd feel like a criminal for drawing a sword against them. Others? Others are like this guy.
So That being said, the thing I am curious about is....
Why?! Why exactly am I stuck in a cage match with this walking mountain of muscle?!
-Roar!
I looked at the large humanoid creature, standing about twenty meters away from me.
Although, What I am really pissed off about, is not the fact that this monster is ugly... I mean, he is ugly. But i am not a lookist. I do not judge books by their cover.
-Roar!
The problem is, he is strong. too strong for the current Me. He is far superior to me, in terms of both defense and raw physical strength.
Currently, I am trapped with this Grigga, all alone in this room.
Yes, Trapped! Once again, the world is bearing it's fangs against me! And this time, No one but myself can save me! Not even my SSS-Rank Teachers!
It's a literal Life and death battle for me. Only one of us can live through this fight. Because killing this guy is the only way for me to get out this dungeon room.
Today was supposed to be a beautiful day when a game nerd would finally get to fulfil his fantasy of diving in a dungeon but No! Fate just had to show me her Middle Finger!
The world just can't stand my happiness! It's so Jealous of me!
And I had to be trapped like this in this room!
There is a saying that says 'God sends his strongest soldiers to the Hardest Battlefield'
But after Studying history and the biography of several famous kings, strong soldiers and talented Generals, I learned that apparently, Kings don't send their Strongest or most capable soldiers to the hardest battle but rather the Soldiers or General whom he wants Dead. And that too without any backup. Because the king considered them a threat. The great patriotic general of the Southern Song Dynasty, Yue Fei is a great example of that.
And that explains my life perfectly. God doesn't make my life difficult because i am the strongest but rather because He is afraid of me. He Must Be! But, Is he afraid that I will Usurp him from his Godly throne or something ?
Or was i someone like the Fallen angel Lucifer who wanted to get the divine throne and so I rebelled. And maybe I got banished to earth and was reincarnated as mortal 'Nick' to go through the sufferings of Mortal.
Haha, Quite the story, right ? Maybe I should've become a writer instead ? Regardless, My current situation seems to be a direct curse from the Goddess of Luck.
And my teachers ? Don't ask...
I looked towards the exit where two people, one man and one woman were standing, observing each of my actions.
Yeah, really don't ask.
-Roar!
-Boom!
And another heavy club attack. And again, I dodged it instinctively with my speed, my heart hammering against my ribs.
"Oh! Come on! Why do you gotta resort to Violence! Huh?!" I yelled, Can't we talk about other things! Resolve this in other ways?! You know! Peace! Love! Ever heard those words?!"
Although, I doubt anyone would ever love you with that face. but hey, it was worth a shot, right?
-Roar!
"Hey! I didn't think anything rude! ...not too rude, at least... I promise!"
-Roar!
The monster's eyes flared with a sudden, localized fury. For some reason, this guy gets incredibly agitated whenever I think of something disparaging.
I know many dungeon monsters have sharp supernatural senses that allows them to feel even the intent of their opponents. But...
Isn't this guy too sharp?
Let's try it.
And it's because I want to learn how to control my intent. It's an useful asset to have during surprise attacks and ambush.
Definitely not because ragebaiting a giant green monster is the only fun I'm having right now. Definitely not.
You are a good guy.
No reaction.
You are strong.
No reaction.
You are ugly.
-Grrr..
Slight reaction. A slight rumble in its throat. Bingo.
Grigga.
-Roar!
Why the fuck are you reacting to that?!
This game of tag has been going on for more than ten minutes now. At this point, both my mana and stamina will take a hit.
And how did we reach this situation? How did my long awaited dungeon picnic become a life and death gladiatorial duel ?
To know that, we have to see some flashbacks from a few hours ago.
Ahem, so once upon a time when a boy went for a dungeon trip with his two teachers, when the world was still kind and supportive....