"I... I'll talk!" Dosu stammered, his one visible eye darting between the spray bottle and my grin. "Just put that away!"
"Weird kink, but okay," I lowered the bottle slightly. "Spill. What did the Snake Freak tell you?"
Dosu slumped against the tree, defeated.
"Lord Orochimaru... he ordered us to kill Sasuke Uchiha."
"Kill him?" I raised an eyebrow. "I thought he wanted him as a vessel."
"He said..." Dosu swallowed hard. "If Sasuke cannot survive us, he is not worthy of the Curse Mark. We are the test. We are the hammer to forge him... or the trash to be discarded."
"Harsh," I whistled. "So you guys are basically disposable razors. Use once and throw away."
I walked closer.
"And the scroll?"
Dosu reached into his pouch with a trembling hand and pulled out an Earth Scroll.
"Take it... just let us go."
I snatched the scroll.
[Item Acquired: Earth Scroll.] [Quest Objective: Acquire Heaven and Earth Scrolls (Complete).]
"Pleasure doing business with you," I pocketed the scroll. "Now, for the service fee."
[Skill: Steal.]
Yoink.
I swiped Dosu's Melody Arm gauntlet.
"Hey!" Dosu protested.
"Compensation for emotional damages," I inspected the metal device. "This speaker is loud. I'm going to reverse engineer it. Maybe make a karaoke machine."
I turned to the other two. Zaku was still unconscious with broken arms. Kin was awake, wrapped in her own bandages, glaring at me with humiliated tears in her eyes.
"You..." Kin hissed. "My armor..."
"You can have it back," I kicked the pile of mesh armor toward her. "After I leave. Consider it a strip-tease in reverse."
I turned my back on them.
"Scram. Before I decide to test my new pepper spray on your other eye."
Dosu didn't need to be told twice. He grabbed Zaku, signaled Kin, and they vanished into the trees, limping and broken.
[System Notification] [Event Cleared: The Sound Ninja Ambush.] [Shameless Points: +1,500.] [Reputation: The Bandage Stripper (Feared in Oto).]
*****
[The Spectators]
"That was... unyouthful!"
Rock Lee jumped down from the tree, landing in front of me. He looked conflicted. On one hand, I had saved my team. On the other, I had threatened to strip a mummy naked.
"Kenji-kun!" Lee struck a pose. "While your strength is magnificent—that black armor technique was incredible!—your methods are questionable! A true warrior fights with honor!"
"Honor doesn't pay the rent, Lee," I dusted off my hands. "And it doesn't protect your teammates from sound waves that liquefy your brain. I prefer results."
"But—!"
"Shh," I held up a finger.
I looked toward a dense cluster of bushes to my left.
[Observation Haki: Ping.]
Three familiar chakra signatures. One lazy shadow. One bag of chips. One... very confused and aroused blonde.
"You guys can come out now," I called out. "The show's over. Unless you want to pay for a ticket."
Rustle. Rustle.
"Troublesome," a voice sighed.
Team 10 emerged.
Shikamaru Nara walked out, scratching his head. Choji Akimichi followed, munching on chips.
And Ino Yamanaka.
She walked out slowly. She was looking at me differently.
Before, I was just the annoying pervert Kenji. Then, I was the rich guy Kenji. Then, I was the guy who showed her a mind-breaking gang-bang illusion.
But now?
She had just watched me dismantle three ninjas with my bare hands, turn my skin black like steel, and bully them into submission.
Power is an aphrodisiac.
[Passive Skill: Pheromone Release - Active.] [Target: Ino Yamanaka.] [Status: Conflicted / Intimidated / turned on.]
"Kenji..." Ino muttered, crossing her arms to hide the fact that her nipples were hard under her mesh armor. "You... you were brutal."
"I was efficient, Ino," I smiled, walking over to them. "Did you enjoy the view?"
Ino flushed. She remembered the illusion. She remembered the feeling of being filled. Seeing me dominate the Sound Ninja triggered a phantom sensation between her legs.
"I... we were just passing by!" Ino stammered, looking away. "We heard the explosion!"
"Right," I stepped into her personal space.
Shikamaru stepped back. "I'm not getting involved in this. This is a drag."
Choji offered me a chip. "Want one?"
"Thanks, Choji," I took the chip and ate it.
I looked down at Ino. She refused to meet my eyes, but she didn't back away.
"You have an Earth Scroll, don't you?" I whispered.
Ino flinched. "H-How did you know?"
"I can smell it," I lied. "Or maybe I just smell your fear."
I reached out.
Ino froze. She thought I was going to attack her. Or grope her.
Instead, I tucked a stray strand of blonde hair behind her ear.
"Relax, Ino. I already have a set. I don't need yours."
I leaned down, my lips brushing her ear.
"But if you want to thank me for not robbing you... stop by my tent tonight. I'll show you that the 'black armor' isn't the only thing that gets hard."
Ino's face exploded into red. Steam practically shot out of her ears.
"Y-You...!"
"LEEEE!"
A new voice cut through the tension.
Neji Hyuga landed in the clearing, veins bulging around his white eyes. Tenten landed beside him.
[Threat Detected: Neji Hyuga.] [Status: Angry / Arrogant.]
Neji looked at the destruction. He looked at the retreating Sound Ninja trails. He looked at me.
"Lee," Neji ignored me and addressed his teammate. "Stop wasting time with these failures. We need to move."
"But Neji!" Lee protested. "Kenji-kun is strong! He defeated three enemies alone!"
Neji turned his Byakugan on me.
"Strong?" Neji scoffed. "He is a trickster. A disgrace. I saw what you did, Kenji. Using sticky gum and spray bottles? That is not ninjutsu. That is a circus act."
"And peeping through girls' clothes with your eyes isn't a bloodline limit, Neji," I retorted instantly. "It's a felony."
Neji's eye twitched. "I told you I do not—!"
"Tenten," I looked at the bun-haired girl. "Check your pockets."
Tenten blinked. She checked her pouch.
"My shuriken!" she gasped. "They're gone!"
I held up a handful of shuriken.
[Skill: Steal (AOE Variant).]
"You dropped these," I tossed them back to her. "Neji was probably distracting you so he could look at your... chakra points."
"NEJI!" Tenten glared at him.
"I DID NOT!" Neji roared, losing his cool completely. "HE IS LYING!"
"Fate decreed that you would be a pervert, Neji," I said solemnly. "You can't fight destiny."
Neji looked like he was about to have an aneurysm. He raised his palm, chakra flaring.
"I will silence you—"
"Neji, stop," Lee stepped in. "Fighting amongst Leaf ninja is prohibited!"
Neji lowered his hand, taking a deep breath to calm himself. He glared at me with pure loathing.
"In the finals," Neji promised. "If we meet in the finals... I will close your chakra points permanently."
"Looking forward to it," I winked. "I'll wear my lead underwear. Just for you."
Neji spun around. "Let's go."
Team Guy vanished into the forest.
Ino looked at me, mouth agape. "You just... provoked the Hyuga prodigy. Are you suicidal?"
"I like living dangerously, Ino," I looked at her. "It makes the heart beat faster. Doesn't it?"
Ino swallowed hard. Her heart was beating faster.
"We... we should go too," Shikamaru grabbed Ino's arm. "This guy is trouble. Let's go, Ino."
Ino let herself be dragged away, but she looked back over her shoulder. Her gaze lingered on me.
[System Notification] [Ino Yamanaka Status: Intrigued / Corrupted (Level 2).] [She is wondering what the 'Hard Armor' feels like inside.]
I smirked.
"Too easy."
I turned back to the burrow.
"Sakura! Naruto! Pack up! We're going to the Tower!"
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