"Kakashi, are you telling the truth?"
"It's true, Lord Third! Please help me! I can't allow my father to make a terrible mistake!"
Sarutobi Hiruzen questioned him repeatedly, but "Kakashi" delivered the exact same desperate, firm answer every single time.
In the end, Hiruzen sighed, took out his crystal ball, activated the Telescope Technique, and handed it over.
Obito accepted the crystal ball with profuse gratitude, while secretly grumbling about the Third Hokage's blatant double standards.
If Obito himself had barged into the office and told Hiruzen a story like that, he would have been immediately thrown out for pulling a prank.
Even if such a ridiculous scandal genuinely happened, Hiruzen would have sent the Anbu to investigate first rather than blindly trusting the word of a kid.
Such was the massive difference in reputation between the class clown and the village prodigy.
"I'll return it tomorrow, Lord Third."
Leaving those respectful words behind, Obito hurried home.
With this crystal ball, he finally had a way to fight back!
Obito used it to track Hatake Sakumo's exact position, carefully hiding the crystal ball in his visual blind spot while keeping a close eye on the feed.
He remained on high alert at every moment for Sakumo's next One Thousand Years of Death.
Simply dodging would never be enough.
Even setting aside whether his current, frail childhood body could react quickly enough, Sakumo's assassination technique didn't have to follow a straight line.
He could easily change direction in midair and continue pursuing Obito as he evaded.
Therefore, Obito deduced there was only one foolproof way to clear this hellish mission—he had to make Hatake Sakumo stop voluntarily!
"He's coming!" Obito's gaze sharpened.
Sakumo had vanished from the crystal ball! Obito immediately put his master plan into action.
However... after waiting for quite some time, Sakumo never appeared.
Obito had tensed up for nothing!
Eventually, Sakumo reappeared inside the crystal ball's feed.
'Did he notice me?' Obito wouldn't have found it strange if the legendary White Fang of Konoha could detect and counter the Telescope Technique.
But if Sakumo was going to take this domestic training that seriously, what the hell was Obito supposed to do?
Complete the survival mission with the power of his imagination?
Sure enough, Sakumo smiled and shook his head inside the crystal ball before disappearing once again.
This time, he had to be coming for real!
Obito immediately began moving once more.
The very next instant, Hatake Sakumo silently materialized behind him, his fingers perfectly poised to strike.
Had Sakumo been an ordinary assassin, he would already have stabbed Obito.
But he was Kakashi's father. His core objective wasn't simply to traumatize his son's backside—it was to train his situational awareness.
Furthermore, Sakumo had just realized that his son was using some kind of surveillance tool to spy on his movements.
He found that extremely satisfying.
There was no need to explain the importance of intelligence gathering to a shinobi.
Sakumo didn't consider this cheating.
On the contrary, he felt a surge of pride that Kakashi was finally beginning to understand how a true tactician should think!
Thus, just as Sakumo prepared to strike, he paused and glanced over Kakashi's shoulder toward his visual blind spot, wanting to know exactly what surveillance method his son was using.
More importantly, Sakumo noticed that his son should already have realized he was standing right behind him.
So why was he neither dodging nor counterattacking?
Well, he wasn't entirely motionless.
His hands were making small, vigorous, repetitive movements in his lap.
'Was he forming hand seals?'
Curious, Sakumo leaned in and looked closer.
To his astonishment, his son truly was "working with his hands."
And the object he was staring at while doing so... was the Third Hokage's crystal ball!
The crystal ball currently displayed nothing but static, but with a little basic deduction, Sakumo realized his own image must have been projected there mere moments earlier.
What the hell did that mean?
His son had been staring at an image of his father while vigorously... performing a solo technique.
Hatake Sakumo suddenly remembered some of the highly questionable, degenerate books Jiraiya had strongly recommended to him in the past.
Could this be... he turn gay for his own dad?
A horrifying chill ran straight down Sakumo's spine.
Had using One Thousand Years of Death on Kakashi too many times completely warped the boy's mind?!
"Father, I win," Obito said smugly, turning his head to look back at Sakumo, his hands never stopping their vigorous motion.
Ever since the Battle of Kannabi Bridge, Obito's real body had permanently lost two extremely important biological assets.
He had never, in his wildest dreams, expected to regain their full, glorious function inside a virtual illusion.
Years of pent-up, agonizing frustration were finally being unleashed all at once!
He simply could not stop!
"..."
Sakumo's expression instantly went completely dark.
Alongside his immense guilt, a trace of absolute, primal terror entered the father's heart.
He had to correct Kakashi before it was too late!
Sakumo didn't use his fingers.
He pulled the thick leather belt from around his waist and pinned Obito to the floor with one hand.
"Huh?"
Only after being physically restrained did Obito finally snap out of his euphoric daze.
Something about the atmosphere seemed horribly wrong!
Smack!
"AAAH!"
Obito began experiencing the overwhelming, heavy weight of paternal love—something he had never enjoyed during his actual childhood—as Hatake Sakumo beat him mercilessly with the belt!
..
The brutal punishment continued straight through the afternoon until evening.
Only then did an exhausted Sakumo take the crystal ball back to the Hokage Building.
When Hiruzen received it from him, the Third Hokage looked at his top operative in puzzlement.
"Kakashi's spying was discovered by you?"
"Yes, Lord Third," Sakumo sighed heavily, rubbing his temples. "I would like to know what excuse Kakashi used to borrow this from you."
"Hm? Excuse?" Hiruzen frowned, puffing his pipe. "Are you saying you aren't secretly madly in love with Chiyo?"
"..."
"Kakashi looked me in the eye and told me you assassinated Chiyo's son and daughter-in-law during the war because you couldn't bear the thought of your beloved Chiyo having children with another man," Hiruzen explained seriously.
"He also said he was deeply worried you might betray the village's interests for her sake, so he borrowed the crystal ball to monitor your mental state."
"..."
Hatake Sakumo suddenly felt that beating Kakashi for an entire afternoon had not been nearly enough.
As for the actual truth of what Kakashi was doing with the crystal ball, Sakumo was far too horrified and embarrassed to explain it to the Hokage.
After offering a few vague, strained excuses, Sakumo hurried straight back home to begin Round Two!
...
Meanwhile, after the second beating finally ended, Obito lay groaning on the floor and checked his virtual quest list.
The first quest, [A Father's Guidance], was now marked as complete.
The second quest was titled [A Friend of the Uchiha].
Obito was incredibly curious about what it would involve.
Would another version of himself appear? That would be incredibly strange!
Although everyone in the village currently recognized him as Kakashi, his physical appearance in the mirror had not changed at all.
He still looked exactly like Uchiha Obito.
It was almost as though he and Kakashi had simply exchanged digital name tags and social identities.
Naturally, their chakra natures and ninjutsu had been swapped as well.
"Kakashi! What kind of nonsense did you tell Lord Third?!"
Hatake Sakumo stormed back into the bedroom and slammed the door shut behind him.
The oppressive killing intent filling the room sent a terrifying chill through Obito's bruised body.
Sakumo had once taken his own life in the real world because of malicious village rumors, which proved exactly how seriously he regarded his personal reputation.
Yet now, his own son had personally marched into the Hokage's office and spread a filthy, deranged rumor about him!
It was completely unforgivable!
"Wait—hold on!"
Obito stumbled backward, desperately crawling across the floorboards as he begged for mercy.
He was already heavily injured!
If Sakumo beat him again, he might not physically recover for ten days or even half a month!
How was he supposed to complete his second quest in that condition?
After all, the specific details for A Friend of the Uchiha read:
[Convince a ninja of the Uchiha clan to willingly entrust you with the power of the Uchiha.]
Clearly, Obito was expected to win over his younger self.
That meant he had to walk to the Ninja Academy.
If he remained stuck in bed at home, it wasn't as though his younger self would conveniently come visit him...
Uh...
Actually, in this bizarre reality, that was entirely possible.
Obito's vision went completely dark as Sakumo's belt descended once again.
...
The next morning, a knock echoed at the front door.
Standing on the porch was a boy wearing goggles and a mask, with gravity-defying, spiky white hair.
"Uchiha Obito" had arrived outside Kakashi's home alongside Nohara Rin!
Rin was carrying a small fruit basket as a get-well gift.
---------
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