Huh?
Madara was just about to ignore Tobirama and first get his hands on the thing he wanted, when a flash of inspiration suddenly crossed his mind.
Why did this situation feel strangely familiar?
Even from such a close distance, Madara's current sensory ability was too garbage to tell whether Tobirama had any chakra fluctuations on him or not.
But he still thought of another possibility.
Tobirama really was "playing dead," but not to bait him.
Instead, it was for the exact same reason Madara himself once "played dead": to avoid letting an enemy discover that he had fallen into a serious trouble!
Thinking about it again, if Tobirama really was trying to bait him, then he would definitely make a move to stop what Madara was about to do to Naruto.
After all, there was absolutely no way Tobirama would sit back and watch him regain his power.
So in truth, Madara had no other choice. He could only gamble that Tobirama was not fishing for him.
With that thought, Madara picked up a bottle of milk from the bedside table—which Sasuke prepared to supplement Naruto's nutrition—and walked over to Tobirama, who was lying motionless on the floor like a corpse.
Pop.
The milk bottle acted like a sharp bayonet as Madara mercilessly jammed it into Tobirama's body.
The once-full milk quickly dropped, until finally, it became an empty bottle.
In the original timeline, after Madara was revived with Rinne Rebirth, one of the first things he did was stab Tobirama with black rods.
Even Tobirama's head had several rods nailed into it.
It forced Tobirama to use a spitting Water Release technique, which he even gave the pleasant name "Heavenly Weeping."
The current Madara also wanted to stab Tobirama with Yin-Yang Release black rods! Unfortunately, he didn't have those.
So he had no choice but to settle for milk bottles.
But the milk bottles couldn't just be used however he wanted. With Madara's current frail strength, he couldn't break through Tobirama's defenses without tools.
But asking Madara to climb back out the window, retrieve the slingshot he just used to smash the window, and bring it in to deal with Tobirama felt unnecessary.
So Madara chose a compromise.
He wouldn't "hurt" Tobirama. He wouldn't break through his defenses.
Wherever there was an opening, he would stuff in a fucking milk bottle!
'He still isn't reacting?'
Looking at Tobirama, who was now filled with milk bottles yet remained completely motionless, Madara was somewhat surprised.
Had Tobirama truly been knocked unconscious by that mysterious person from the sky just now?
Or was Tobirama's endurance simply too strong, and he was still pretending to be dead?
Madara couldn't care about that anymore.
His revenge against Tobirama was temporarily complete. Even if he wanted to do anything else, his current pathetic physical condition wouldn't allow it.
It was better to hurry up and get down to business!
Madara furiously searched around the bedroom but didn't find the thing he wanted, so he could only leave the room.
The instant Madara left the bedroom, Senju Tobirama, who had been lying face-down on the floor, opened his eyes.
Madara guessed correctly.
Tobirama really could endure.
In Tobirama's view, an Edo Tensei body had no physical sensation anyway.
On top of that, his chakra was being continuously absorbed by Yachihoko, and his sensory ability sharply declined.
If he closed his eyes, he could just pretend nothing was happening.
As long as he kept playing dead, even if Madara did something to him at first, Madara would quickly lose interest once he got no reaction from him.
On the other hand, if he woke up while having no power to resist, the situation would become ten times worse.
Compared with the frail Madara, Tobirama's current state of having all his chakra drained and being unable to move was even more miserable.
Once Madara discovered he was fully conscious, the bastard would definitely continue torturing him!
Tobirama glanced upward at Naruto, who was still trapped under genjutsu control, and sighed inwardly.
It seemed Naruto would have a really hard time escaping Madara's evil clutches today.
He wondered whether Sasuke would make it back in time.
...
What had Madara gone out to find?
Of course, a "tool."
Madara openly peeped on them several times before and discovered that Sasuke used a specially made tool to obtain Naruto's cells.
Madara didn't know exactly what it was.
After all, he was an old man from the Warring States Period.
Even though he later clung to life for a while, he only lived until the time of the Third Shinobi World War.
Technology advanced with each passing day. It was normal for things he didn't understand to appear.
Madara only vaguely remembered that it was an electric thing.
It looked a bit like a cup, seemed to rotate, and made a buzzing sound.
"Found it."
After searching for a long while, Madara finally found what he wanted in the kitchen.
Feeling highly excited, he proudly brought the thing back to the bedroom and plugged it into the power source.
'Hm?'
'Wait. PLUGGED IT IN?!'
Tobirama, who was secretly watching through narrowed eyes, instantly sensed that something was horribly wrong.
Wasn't that thing supposed to be battery-powered and rechargeable?!
Since when did it get plugged directly into a wall outlet?!
Tobirama focused his gaze and was instantly dumbfounded.
What Madara brought back seemed, probably, possibly, to be… A BLENDER.
Who knew whether Sasuke used it to blend meat for hamburger patties or beans for soy milk?
Sasuke was surprisingly good at domestic work…
No, was this the time to be thinking about that?! That thing absolutely COULD NOT be used for this!
This was no longer just a matter of possibly missing a good opportunity.
It was completely guaranteed to go wrong!
At this rate, Naruto really would suffer a terrible accident!
Senju Tobirama opened his mouth.
He wanted to give up playing dead and remind Madara, but his reason immediately stopped him.
With the toxic relationship between him and Madara, the exact moment he opened his mouth to persuade him, not only would he fail to stop Madara, he would instead make Madara firmly believe he was doing the right thing!
In that case, he could only use another method to desperately stall for time.
Senju Tobirama knew that Sasuke's Mangekyō ability was intelligence-based.
Perhaps he already noticed something abnormal here.
He simply needed time to rush back.
As long as Tobirama could delay long enough, Naruto's chance of staying physically intact would be greater!
"Madara, I never expected you to have this kind of sick habit. Naruto is still a child! You are simply Konoha's ultimate disgrace! Even the Uchiha clan would be completely ashamed of you!"
Tobirama struggled to push the milk bottle out of his mouth with his tongue.
Once he could speak, he immediately began mocking Madara.
"…Tobirama, so you really were playing dead. You finally can't keep pretending anymore?"
Madara slowly turned around, put down the three-in-one high-speed blender in his hands, folded his arms across his chest, and looked down at Tobirama with absolute contempt.
He was full of imposing presence!
That was, of course, assuming one completely ignored the fact that both of them currently had almost no strength left.
"Madara, back when you took Izuna home after I seriously wounded him, did you ever actually check his lower body?" Tobirama suddenly changed the subject.
He directly threw out a name that could instantly provoke Madara into deep thought.
"What the hell do you mean?!" Madara angrily stomped on Tobirama's head.
"Hehhe. Actually, back then, my Flying Thunder God Slash directly cut away a piece of Izuna's dignity. You never noticed? Looks like Izuna also knew that being cut down by me like that was a tremendous humiliation. Even when he was angered to death, he never told you!"
"But Madara, don't worry. My Flying Thunder God Slash is very fast! Izuna probably didn't feel much pain. As for afterward, he probably used Fire Release to cauterize himself a few times and stop the bleeding…"
Tobirama spoke with a highly mocking smile blooming across his face.
At this moment, he truly felt that the freaks who wrote those bizarre porn were absolute geniuses!
He never expected that the unhinged plots inside them would actually be useful at a time like this!
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