For 30 + advance chapter: patreon.com/Snowing_Melody
Gloomy, distorted, crawling.
The agonizing three-day administrative lockdown deadline had finally passed. The exact second the clock struck midnight, a massive, jagged Gap violently tore open the air directly in front of Leo and Ran's shared double bed in the Spring Island farmhouse.
Yukari Yakumo charged out like a furious, protective demon and ruthlessly yanked the heavy quilt completely away, fully prepared to yell. However, she was immediately met with a tangled, highly compromising scene that drove her straight to absolute, motherly despair, leaving her completely frozen on the spot like a stone statue.
As everyone back on Earth knew, Leo has a deeply ingrained, comfortable habit of sleeping completely naked. Previously, Sakuya Izayoi had violently forced a set of silk pajamas on him every night specifically for the sake of the Second Miss Flandre's physical and mental health. But with absolutely no innocent children at home these past few days to worry about, and Miss Ran's incredibly aggressive, demanding daily "exercise" routines, he hadn't had any logical chance or reason to wear clothes to bed at all.
Behind the frozen Yukari Yakumo, a massive, noisy group of nosy Great Youkai eagerly squeezed out of the Gap. They were also instantly stunned into silence by the spicy scene on the bed, their jaws hitting the floorboards.
Eirin Yagokoro calmly pushed up her glasses, professionally put on a pair of sterile latex gloves, took out a small glass bottle of potent sedative gas, and casually blew it over the faces of the still-unconscious Leo and Ran to ensure they wouldn't wake up during the intrusion. She then rapidly performed a brief, non-invasive full-body medical checkup using her magic.
"Congratulations, Yukari. According to my preliminary scans, in the near future, the little brother and Ran will absolutely be able to give birth to a very healthy, magically potent half-Youkai baby."
Calmly covering the naked, sleeping couple back up tightly with the heavy quilt to preserve their dignity, Eirin Yagokoro gave her final, clinical medical judgment. She affectionately patted the completely petrified, shattered Yukari Yakumo on the shoulder and elegantly took off her surgical gloves.
"Congratulations, congratulations!" Yuyuko cheered, clapping her hands. "Treat us, treat us to a wedding feast!" Suika yelled, raising a gourd. "Throw a massive, server-wide banquet!" Aya Shameimaru demanded, snapping photos.
A chaotic group of Youkai offered their loud, obnoxious congratulations to Yukari Yakumo with pure, unadulterated schadenfreude, clearly enjoying the dramatic chaos of the Sage losing her prized Shikigami to a human. Some of the richer jokers in the crowd even started jokingly reaching into their deep pockets, preparing to hand Yukari red envelopes of cash as a token of their "support" for the dowry.
"Get out of here, all of you! Out! Waaaah, the beautiful, pure Great Fox I've painstakingly raised for so incredibly long has been thoroughly defiled by a human! I can't ever have her back now!"
Yukari Yakumo finally snapped out of her shock and wailed dramatically, falling to her knees. But the rice was already thoroughly cooked and the meal was eaten; the biological facts couldn't be magically changed now. She looked intensely, resentfully at the still-sleeping Leo. The sheer, freezing resentment she radiated into the room made the unconsciously sedated Leo shiver, subconsciously tighten his grip on the quilt, and huddle much closer to Ran's warm body for protection.
"Alright, alright, show's over. Let's all head out to the living room first. You're absolutely not licensed doctors, so why are you all standing around creepily watching them sleep? Don't scare the newlyweds when the sedative wears off later."
Eirin Yagokoro waved her hand authoritatively and herded the massive, gossiping crowd out of the master bedroom, closing the door and leaving only the weeping Yukari Yakumo behind alone as the designated "distraught family of the patient."
9:00 AM.
"Man, that was such an incredibly comfortable, deep sleep. It's been a very long time since I felt so... f***!"
Waking up in a pleasant daze, Leo performed a strange, satisfying yoga twist on the soft bed to stretch his incredibly sore, overused muscles. Only those dense protagonists who have actually experienced it would truly know—you really can't historically blame the corrupted King Zhou for falling his empire! Miss Ran's true, main body is a majestic, golden nine-tailed Great Fox, and after last night, even Leo completely understood why he didn't want to wake up and work the agricultural fields anymore. King Zhou merely had a standard white fox at home; Leo had an ultra-rare, SSR-tier golden fox!
For the first two chaotic days on the island, Miss Ran had surprisingly been the aggressive one to pounce, and Leo was entirely the passive, exhausted victim pinned helplessly underneath her superior Youkai strength. Having finally experienced the pace once and mapped the boss mechanics, Leo completely let loose. Last night, he bravely downed the mysterious, glowing small medicine bottle the Divine Physician Eirin had secretly sent Reisen to give him (which turned out to be a massive stamina buff), and finally successfully took the dominant romantic initiative with Ran Yakumo.
Leo finally realized that his raw physical stamina after eating that magical Stardrop fruit was truly, terrifyingly incredible—all night long! From 8 PM straight through to 2 AM without a break! If just one single Stardrop could do this to his human biology, wouldn't he literally take physical flight and ascend to godhood if he managed to farm and eat all seven of them?!
Stretching his somewhat strained, aching lower back, Leo slowly opened his bleary, satisfied eyes. Just as he was happily doing a bridge stretch under the covers, he froze. He saw Yukari Yakumo standing silently right by the bedroom window, looking down at him with a gloomy, murderous, absolutely terrifying aura.
He nearly had a fatal, literal heart attack right then and there.
"Um... Hello, Mother-in-law?"
Leo immediately panicked and tried to stand up to bow respectfully, but then violently remembered he wasn't wearing a single shred of clothing. He quickly, desperately wrapped himself back up tightly in the quilt like a burrito and gave Yukari an incredibly awkward, terrified smile while subtly poking the sleeping Ran Yakumo beside him under the covers to wake her up for backup.
"Stop it, Lord Leo, it tickles. Didn't you strictly say you had important farm work today? Just wait patiently until tonight... GASP! Hello, Yukari-sama!"
The equally sleepy, dazed Ran Yakumo opened her golden eyes, stretched, and suddenly saw her own terrifying Master standing over the bed. She shrieked, immediately grabbed the edges of the quilt, and wrapped herself up tightly just exactly like Leo, leaving only her blushing head and flat fox ears exposed to the cold air.
"Sigh... You two degenerates. I'll give you exactly two minutes to put some clothes on. I'll be waiting for an explanation outside in the hall."
Yukari Yakumo closed her eyes and took a deep, shuddering breath to control her magic. Since biological things had inevitably come to this point, what else could she legally do? She couldn't exactly violently break them apart with magic; she wasn't the tyrannical monk Fahai from the legends.
Besides, despite her affectionately calling him "little brother" to maintain dominance, Leo's actual administrative status was officially recognized by the system as being on the exact same cosmic level as the legendary Dragon God of Gensokyo. If she dared to forcefully, magically kidnap Ran and take her back to her maternal home at the Lost Home, what if the furious little brother could actively contact the Dragon God to retaliate and nuke her house?!
(Yukari's internal, paranoid theater of the mind began playing a vivid, dramatic scenario:)
"Little brother, I'm telling you right now, unless the Hakurei donation box is completely full of gold and the dead Saigyou Ayakashi tree blooms again, I will absolutely not let Ran go back to you! Just give up on that foolish romantic idea!"
"Yukari Yakumo, you cold-hearted hag, you don't know anything about true love! Just you wait, one day I'll make you willingly, submissively send Ran back to my bed!"
"Husband~~!" Ran cried from a cage. "Ran-ran~~!" Leo yelled, reaching out.
And then, after an unknown amount of dramatic time... "Hello, is this Yukari Yakumo from the Gensokyo Local Administrative Office? I am the Central Dragon God. I've received an official, highly verified internal report from the World Lord that you are illegally, maliciously detaining Ran Yakumo and intentionally destroying someone else's legal family happiness. You are hereby ordered to release Ran Yakumo immediately and formally show your bare belly to apologize to Leo, or face orbital bombardment!"
With a wild, paranoid theater of the mind running rampant and scaring her into submission, Yukari Yakumo dejectedly sighed, opened the bedroom door, and walked out, leaving just enough time for the panicked couple to get dressed and clean up the messy room.
By the time a fully clothed, highly embarrassed Leo and Ran stepped out of the master bedroom, the entire first-floor living room of the small farmhouse was already completely, terrifyingly packed full of people.
Chen and Kogasa Tatara were happily, innocently taking fresh fruit out of the wooden storage boxes to entertain everyone. Flandre ran over excitedly the moment they appeared and rapidly circled Leo and Sister Ran twice, sniffing the air, aggressively wanting to see if anything physical about their biology had changed overnight.
"Um... Everyone's here quite early today. Have you all eaten breakfast?"
Absolutely not daring to meet the highly judgmental, glaring eyes of the huffing Cirno and Marisa, Leo stood stiffly at the bottom of the stairs with an incredibly awkward, sweaty smile, not knowing what to do with his hands. Strictly speaking, in traditional Earth culture, these terrifying people were all officially part of the bride's extended, chaotic family, and it was entirely normal for them to come aggressively "see the new son-in-law" after the deed was done. He couldn't exactly politely kick them out of the house now.
"Come, come, sit down. Don't be so nervous, boy. Despite how furious and betrayed Yukari Yakumo currently looks on the outside, she's actually completely, financially ecstatic inside. If you don't believe me, just casually ask Satori Komeiji. Look closely, the old hag can hardly keep the smug corners of her mouth down."
Eirin Yagokoro beckoned kindly for Leo to sit at the table and talk. On the other side of the room, a blushing Ran Yakumo was immediately, violently pulled away into a corner by Aya Shameimaru and Hatate Himekaidou to be aggressively, journalistically questioned about the exact, spicy anatomical details of the night. It was entirely normal for Aya to want to report a massive, scandalous scoop, but it was highly unclear what the doujin artist Hatate was actively trying to do by excitedly joining the interrogation with a sketchbook.
"Hmph! I'm absolutely not happy at all about this! If Ran doesn't come home to work anymore, Chen definitely won't come back to visit me often either! My precious, fluffy foot warmers are permanently gone, how could I possibly be happy about losing my staff?!"
Yukari Yakumo aggressively turned her blonde head away with a loud, dramatic huff, crossing her arms in a standard, textbook blonde tsundere pose. If she actually styled her hair into twin tails, she'd look even more exactly like a classic, defeated blonde anime loser.
"If Ran isn't there to serve you anymore, there's still me. I can completely warm your feet for you at night, Mother-in-law."
...
"I absolutely didn't say that! Why the hell did you sneak back in here again?!"
Cold sweat instantly broke out on Leo's forehead. He hurriedly took out his smartphone and furiously, violently put Satori Komeiji back into the server's black room for another three days of banishment.
He could secretly, privately think whatever perverted thoughts he wanted in his own head, but having just successfully made off with their prized Great Fox and her cat, actively expressing a desire to make off with the terrifying Sage herself to build a harem was a bit too much for his physical safety!
"Alright." Yukari said softly.
"Huh?"
Leo was completely dumbfounded. He looked at the slowly nodding Yukari Yakumo in pure, unadulterated horror, genuinely wondering if he had finally driven the ancient Sage completely mad with grief to the point of her saying such impossible, out-of-character nonsense.
"I said, alright," Yukari smiled, her eyes curving into predatory crescents. "Since I'm basically the only lonely person left at the massive Lost Home anyway now that you've stolen my family, I might as well just completely move my belongings in here with you. From now on, I'm officially, permanently living at your house, son-in-law. Not only will I aggressively eat your premium food and drink your expensive drinks for free every day, but I'll also forcefully make you respectfully call me 'Mom' in public. You have to financially respect me, honor my status, you absolutely can't legally hit me, and if someone comes looking for trouble with me, you have to personally settle it for me using your World Lord powers."
Yukari Yakumo said something absolutely, financially terrifying and incredible with a beautiful, predatory smile on her face.