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Inside the large, steamy bathroom of the Spring Island farmhouse, Ran Yakumo sat nervously in the hot water of the claw-foot bathtub, her beautiful face rapidly shifting through a constant, complex stream of expressions as if she were undergoing a fierce, agonizing internal struggle.
Don't misunderstand—it absolutely wasn't that Ran was conflicted or hesitant about intimately giving herself to Leo. She was fundamentally not a fragile human, and all the romantic knowledge she had acquired over her long life came directly from the untamed, ancient world of Youkai, which was naturally filled with a primal, aggressive, wild beauty regarding mating.
The actual, burning point of her deep conflict was simply whether she should aggressively 'eat' Leo tonight so unceremoniously in this dusty, abandoned farmhouse. Being out here alone in the middle of a deserted tropical jungle felt like a bit of a culinary waste; it severely lacked a proper, elegant sense of romantic ceremony.
Yes, a sense of ceremony. While the innocent, dense young bachelor Leo was still happily soaking in the other bathroom down the hall, purely thinking about innocently holding hands in the dark and sharing a warm, platonic hug to sleep, on the other side of the wall, Ran Yakumo was already deeply, meticulously pondering exactly how to properly prepare and devour his 'mushroom sauce' tonight.
A good while after Leo had finally finished his long, relaxing shower, dried off, and gotten comfortably under the soft quilt of the master bed, he heard a soft click. Ran finally squeezed nervously through the heavy bedroom door. In the quiet darkness of the tropical night, her glowing golden pupils flickered with a distinctly eerie, hungry pink glow.
"Leo~~ I'm coming in~"
Ran's husky, sweet voice sent an electric shock straight through Leo, making his heart violently itch. He decisively, bravely lifted the edge of the quilt and politely patted the empty spot next to him.
He had originally, logically thought Ran would be very shy and reserved after her confession, staying far away from him on her side of the mattress, perhaps only allowing him to gently hold her hand to sleep like yesterday. Instead, much to his absolute, terrifying shock, Lady Ran's incredibly soft, voluptuous body aggressively pressed right up tight against him under the covers, leaving zero space between them.
In that terrifying, heart-pounding instant, Leo almost violently pulled out his smartphone to desperately check the server logs to see if a mischievous succubus had snuck into Stardew Valley and magically possessed Ran's body!
"Um... Ran? Are you okay?" Leo squeaked, his voice cracking.
"Don't talk, Leo~~ chan."
???
(Approximately six hours of highly explicit, intense, and physically exhausting reading material are strictly omitted here; good, pure children absolutely shouldn't go aggressively jumping over to a certain pink app to read the deleted scenes!)
The whole, humid tropical night was completely full of... very deep, physical conversation. When the morning sky finally brightened with the sunrise, Ran Yakumo gracefully got out of the messy bed, her nine tails swaying happily, looking incredibly satisfied and glowing with radiant vitality. She cheerfully went to the bathroom to wash up and cook a massive breakfast, leaving only an exhausted, drained, empty jar of 'mushroom sauce' lying paralyzed on the bed.
"Phew... that was incredibly close!"
Leo weakly wiped a thick layer of cold sweat from his pale forehead, his arms shaking. If it hadn't been for that magical, glowing purple Stardrop fruit that had miraculously appeared in his hand from the system at the absolute critical, life-threatening moment yesterday—massively, permanently boosting his maximum physical stamina and constitution to the point where he could actually, barely rival an average Youkai's endurance—he would have absolutely, utterly embarrassed himself and died of exhaustion halfway through the night!
"Speaking of which, was Ran's hidden affection meter for me actually already that impossibly high?!" Leo gasped, staring at the ceiling. "It started right at the absolute 'full 14-hearts' level where a magical Stardrop is organically produced by the spouse!"
He struggled painfully to climb out of the ruined bed, his legs feeling exactly like overcooked noodles. There were massive, biological Gaps in physical stamina even between different types of Youkai—Gaps even larger than the terrifying ones between normal humans and dogs. Leo's single, consumed Stardrop only barely allowed his fragile mortal body to hold its own against Ran Yakumo's aggressive, feral stamina. It was incredibly lucky that dawn had finally come and they physically had to return to the main farm to work; any later into the morning and his health bar would have completely depleted, and he absolutely wouldn't have been able to hold out.
I'm so incredibly sorry, Lady Ran, for not being able to let you aggressively enjoy yourself to the absolute fullest! I'll farm more Stardrops!
"Come down for breakfast, dear~~!"
Ran's sweet, incredibly energetic voice rang out cheerfully from the downstairs kitchen. Leo quickly, shakily washed his face and headed down the stairs, gripping the wooden railing tightly for support. Breakfast was incredibly simple but restorative: a large, cold bowl of sweet honeyed fruit salad, packed with vitamins and healthy energy.
"Let's head back to the main farm through the Altar after we eat. There's still a massive amount of agricultural work to do."
Leo suggested quickly while rapidly eating his fruit. It definitely, absolutely wasn't because he cowardly wanted to use heavy farm work to physically escape certain... nocturnal things; the farm really, truly did have critical things to do! Really! Don't the neglected animals need their daily petting to maintain hearts? Shouldn't the massive fields of mature crops be immediately harvested before they wither? Missing even a single day of optimal farming would mean losing millions of gold credits every minute!
"Mhm, absolutely whatever you say, my Lord."
Ran rested her chin comfortably on her hands, leaning over the table and looking at Leo incredibly tenderly. Her golden eyes narrowed into crescents of pure happiness, and her nine massive tails behind her were actively, subconsciously forming fluffy, golden heart shapes in the air. Her entire being seemed to be visibly surrounded by floating, pink romantic bubbles.
After finally finishing breakfast, Leo and Ran hiked back up the mountain and returned to the main farm through the glowing, magical teleportation array on the peak.
Although they had only been away from the Stardew Valley farm for exactly two days, the massive, newly planted batch of seeds had magically, entirely matured thanks to the fertilizer. The spectacular, colorful scene of hundreds of ripe crops gave Leo a deep, capitalist sense of pride. Even though the hard dirt was manually tilled by Hong Meiling, the seeds were rapidly sown by Aya Shameimaru's wind, and the magical fertilizer was entirely provided by the Moriya Shrine's divine statue, he was the one who actually owned and provided the expensive land! In this specific round of farming, he had made a great, indispensable contribution as management!
Ran happily went inside to deep-clean the dusty Farmhouse that hadn't been lived in for two days, while Leo went out into the hot sun alone to exhaustingly harvest the massive fields of crops.
After a dozen or so heavy, back-breaking trips back and forth with his inventory, absolutely all the ripe crops planted on the farm were successfully harvested by noon. A massive, wooden shipping bin sitting right next to the house, newly painted a bright, vibrant green to strictly represent spring crops, was also completely filled to the absolute brim with produce.
Except for specific, magical crops like sweet strawberries and crunchy green beans that could be easily harvested repeatedly without replanting, the rest of the harvested single-yield crops left a massive amount of tilled land completely empty and brown. Leo grunted, moved the heavy, mechanical Seed Maker out onto the porch, and immediately began tossing all the exotic, wild crops he had collected on Spring Island into the hopper to turn them into seeds.
Premium Coffee beans, sour Cherries, spiky Pineapples, sweet Lychees, pungent Leeks, spicy Peppers, crunchy Peanuts, healthy Soybeans, crisp Cucumbers, starchy Taro, and golden Wheat.
This massive, successful wave of exploration on the new Spring Island had directly caused the main farm's future productivity and culinary options to violently skyrocket. The sheer variety of new, plantable crops was so incredibly rich it made Leo genuinely want to cry tears of joy; he finally didn't have to miserably eat plain white rice with greasy fish and chips every single day anymore!
Keeping more than enough raw seed stock for himself to replant, Leo absolutely wasn't in a hurry to list the remaining, extremely rare island crops on the Universal Shop app just yet.
After being maliciously played like a real-life, pathetic galgame protagonist for half a day by that incredibly bored bunch of inhuman Great Youkai, how could he possibly not take a bit of revenge on their stomachs? Time to let them get a harsh, starving taste of the Mo family's ancestral, capitalist pettiness!
He firmly planned to do absolutely nothing on the app and ignore all their frantic shop messages for exactly these three ban days, specifically to make Yukari Yakumo incredibly anxious and deliberately let her spend these three days starving in absolute, miserable suspense.
"Ah! Why is there absolutely zero new product reaction from the farm app at all?! What on earth is that dense little brother doing over there?!"
"Ah! My beautiful Great Fox didn't just aggressively give herself away for completely nothing, did she?!"
"Ah! Wuwuwu, my pristine Great Fox has already been permanently, physically shaped by someone else's hands!"
"Can you just shut your trap for one single moment?! It's so incredibly annoying! If she gave herself away, she happily gave herself away! If you keep making a loud, whining racket in my ear, we'll violently join forces right now, tightly tie you up with magical ropes, and throw you directly through the Gap over there too, so you can personally reunite with your precious Great Fox in his bed!"
Inside the crowded living room of the Lost Home, for three agonizing days—three whole, excruciating days!—Yukari Yakumo had been pacing and muttering non-stop, complaining exactly like the famously annoying, tragic Xianglin's Wife from literature.
She was so incredibly loud and annoying that even the usually serene, eternally good-tempered Byakuren Hijiri was deeply frowning and aggressively chanting loud Buddhist sutras, attempting to use holy magic to fight annoying magic. Eirin Yagokoro finally snapped, violently slammed her hands on the wooden table, and roared. She really, truly wanted to tie this obnoxious, whining nuisance up and throw her directly onto Leo's bed right now just to shut her up. Worried, are you?! Then go worry physically on the bed with them!
"You're actually yelling at me?! I don't want to live in this cruel world anymore! I've worked so incredibly hard, tirelessly taking care of Gensokyo's barrier for all these miserable years! Even if there's no public glory, there's the undeniable hard work I put in! Now my beautiful Great Fox has been violently abducted by a human, and what's wrong with an old woman crying a little in grief?! You brutes only know how to violently bully us poor orphans and widows! Reimu! Open your eyes and look at this abuse! There's absolutely no justice here!"
Yukari dramatically wiped fake tears, staring at Eirin in pure, exaggerated disbelief, theatrically wondering exactly how a mouth with a normal, living temperature of 36.5 degrees could say such freezing, cold, heartless words.
"So annoying, you're being so incredibly loud."
Reimu Hakurei, who was currently lazily sleeping face-down on the table amidst the chaos, looked up irritably, rubbing her eyes, and gave Yukari a deeply dissatisfied, deadpan look. They were ancient friends of many, many years; if this manipulative woman were truly, genuinely anxious about Ran's safety, she absolutely wouldn't be this flighty and dramatic. She would have been dead silent, quietly and terrifyingly researching exactly how to violently solve the problem behind the scenes. She certainly wouldn't be loudly, childishly jumping around the room like a clown complaining.
"Hehehe... 'Ran-chan is so wonderful. This way, I can easily get unlimited free, premium stuff from the little brother in the future without paying, and it even deeply, permanently cements the diplomatic bond between the World Lord and Gensokyo. I'll show you slow lot who were too stupid to act first, bleh!'"
Satori Komeiji suddenly spoke out loud, flawlessly reading Yukari Yakumo's actual, smug inner thoughts with a completely blank, expressionless face.
"This is exactly, precisely why I absolutely hate interacting with you mind-readers!"
Yukari, having had her brilliant, greedy inner thoughts brutally exposed to the room, felt completely out of sorts and dropped the crying act instantly. Seeing the genuine, rising murderous intent forming on absolutely everyone's faces, she nervously chuckled and quietly opened a dark Gap directly behind her to escape the mob.
But while the Sage could easily handle a 1v1 fight against anyone here, in a brutal, coordinated group fight against this absolutely terrifying, overpowered lineup, even the invincible Reimu would have to sweat and fight for a while to survive.
The poor, scheming Sage of Youkai was instantly tackled and pinned brutally to the wooden floorboards by a lunging, furious Eirin Yagokoro before she could step into the Gap.