◆◆
Go Chaeha drew me close, his touch lingering with an intimacy that made the rest of the world feel distant.
"Ah…"
There was no force in it. No one had been made to do anything. In that moment, we had simply wanted the same thing.
Whenever I held him, he carried the warmth of vanilla—sweet and comforting.
It felt as though I were wandering through a beautiful dream that could never exist.
For that brief moment, both his wounds and mine blurred like mist settling over glass.
"Stay with me."
My eyes were drawn not to the closeness between us, but to his face.
His disheveled golden fringe. The long lashes framing his brown eyes. They were usually as clear as amber filled with sunlight, yet whenever he looked at me, they seemed to deepen into something far more difficult to read.
That gaze shook me more than it should have.
"I could let you look at me for as long as you wanted."
He lowered himself before me without breaking eye contact.
The moment remained charged with unspoken emotion, until he finally paused and said,
"Stop making me wait. Kiss me."
There was a dangerous ease in Go Chaeha's gaze, a kind of fatal charm that made it difficult to keep my guard up.
I cupped his face in both hands and kissed him.
Instinct. Comfort. Resentment. Pity. Loneliness…
And perhaps affection.
Everything tangled together until I could no longer tell one feeling from another.
"Ha… ha…"
Our breathing and heartbeats filled the room without end.
After that, there were several more nights when I found myself returning to Go Chaeha's room.
Meanwhile, inside the palace, talk of Gowon and Lady Hong Yeonhwa's marriage gradually hardened into accepted fact.
Their shared schedules increased noticeably. Whether at official events or private engagements, even the public had begun to accept the sight of them standing side by side as something entirely natural.
Whenever I saw them together, I forced myself to look away.
But my heart remained behind every time.
And strangely, the more that happened, the more naturally Go Chaeha slipped into the empty spaces beside me.
A gentle word.
An absentminded touch.
I could no longer draw the same firm boundaries I once had.
No.
Perhaps I no longer knew how to push him away.
When I stepped out of Go Chaeha's room, I came face-to-face with someone I had not seen in a long time.
Jo Misuk, the royal personnel officer who had first handed me the recommendation letter.
I immediately bent at the waist in greeting.
The moment my gaze dropped to the floor, her voice reached me.
"Foolish girl. You still have no idea what true fear is."
I slowly straightened.
She was staring at me with frightening intensity.
I couldn't say anything.
"Are you the only one who doesn't understand how important the situation has become?"
I remembered the things the men had said at the Moon Shadow Banquet.
Everyone in the palace must have known.
About the maid and the princes.
About the marriage being discussed between Hong Yeonhwa and Gowon.
They simply kept quiet and pretended otherwise.
"It's difficult to survive here without knowing how to read a room. You must believe someone will protect you."
She hadn't changed.
Her gaze swept over me as though even the edge of my clothing was something she would rather not touch.
"Yes. Seeing how His Majesty has gone out of his way to accommodate you… perhaps he values you more than expected."
Not Gowon.
Not Go Chaeha.
His Majesty the King.
Her words made my already tangled thoughts even more complicated.
It was strange.
The matter should have reached His Majesty's ears even before it reached the Queen's.
Unlike Her Majesty, who sat elegantly drinking tea while taking action behind the scenes, His Majesty had remained silent as though he knew nothing.
At first, I had assumed the issue was too minor to concern him.
But people had said that when I was punished, His Majesty had personally ordered that the matter not be allowed to grow any larger.
And now there were Jo Misuk's words.
Everything felt wrong.
As though a thread connected His Majesty and me without either of us fully understanding it.
Jo Misuk looked me over from bottom to top, just as she had the first time we met.
"Hmm…"
She appeared to have more to say, but chose to hold it back.
The sound of her heels faded down the corridor.
I lowered my head as I watched her leave.
When I turned around, Go Chaeha was approaching from a distance.
The moment he saw me, he smiled and lightly waved his right hand.
The grief-stricken expression I had seen the day before, the face that had seemed moments away from collapsing, was nowhere to be found.
As though none of it had ever happened.
I watched him for a moment before bowing quietly.
"Master Chaeha. You're awake."
He stopped directly in front of me.
"If you greet me that formally, I'll be disappointed."
"The maids' morning assembly will begin soon. I should go."
As I turned away, Go Chaeha caught my wrist.
I tried to pull free, but his grip tightened slightly.
"Every morning, you act as though we're strangers. Are you trying to make me ache for you?"
"I must have been temporarily intoxicated yesterday."
"Liar."
He laughed softly.
"I can tell by looking into your eyes. These eyes of yours can't lie."
"…Please let go."
"No."
His answer sounded playful.
But he didn't release me.
Instead, he pulled me slightly closer.
"You have so much to lose. Why are you doing this?"
"Because even if I lose everything, I still want you beside me."
"..."
As though reading the tremor in my eyes, he smiled again with effortless ease.
Then—
Smack.
Someone seized Go Chaeha's wrist.
"Enough. She said she doesn't want it."
◆
I had no desire to involve myself in such an irritating situation.
But my body moved before my mind could stop it.
Go Chaeha looked at me without speaking, then let out a short scoff as though the entire situation were absurd.
"Your Highness, I believe your attention is pointed in the wrong direction."
I knew exactly what he meant.
The woman I should have been paying attention to was not Seonmi.
Go Chaeha slowly freed his wrist from my grasp.
"You should focus on Lady Hong Yeonhwa."
I glanced toward Hong Yeonhwa.
Her expression was strained.
Her gaze was fixed on Seonmi.
Tap.
Go Chaeha's hand settled on my shoulder.
Then he leaned close enough for only me to hear.
"They say jealousy can blind a person."
I watched Seonmi follow him as he walked away, dressed in black shoes and a black maid's uniform.
My fingers tightened slightly.
You still possess an exceptional talent for playing with people's emotions, Go Chaeha.
The moment I stepped inside, I quietly closed the door behind me.
This was not the first time Mother had summoned me.
But whenever she did, it was almost always because something important had happened.
More than anyone, she knew how consumed I was by the affairs of the Eastern Palace. She would never call for me over something trivial.
I took my seat in silence.
The faint fragrance of tea drifted through the room.
Without a word, Mother poured tea into my cup.
Only after a long silence did she finally speak.
"Perhaps... I should have told you this much sooner."
I looked at her without replying.
"I never imagined the Crown Prince would allow himself to be swayed by his emotions to this extent."
"…"
"But even so... I consider it a blessing."
It was not the answer I had expected.
My brow furrowed almost imperceptibly.
"That you have learned how to love someone."
"…"
"You are far better than the boy who wandered through life having buried every emotion."
At those words, memories from my childhood resurfaced.
The smell of blood.
Dry, ragged breaths.
A younger version of myself chasing beasts through the mountains.
The countless nights when I wandered the forests until dawn, bow in hand, unable to sleep.
The days when I hunted obsessively, trying to erase every feeling inside me.
Mother had witnessed all of it.
"At the very least... you no longer destroy yourself through hunting as you once did."
I lowered my eyes for a moment.
"There is no need for Your Majesty to worry."
She gave the slightest nod.
"I certainly hope not."
Taking an unhurried sip of tea, she carefully set the cup back onto the table.
It was a habit of hers whenever she was about to begin the real conversation.
"Lady Yeonhwa requested a private audience with me."
"It seems the relationship between the two of you has grown considerably closer."
She slowly closed her eyes before continuing.
"She suspects the relationship between the two of them. So I have decided to stand on Lady Yeonhwa's side. Surely you understand the future the Hong family and the royal house must build together."
"I do."
"There will be no problem."
"And the woman?"
"You intend to end things with her as well, don't you?"
A faint smile tugged at the corner of my mouth.
"You interfere far more than you did when I was a child, Your Majesty."
Our eyes met only briefly.
That alone was enough to tell we were each guarding something from the other.
"Unfortunately... there is no longer anyone who can protect that child."
"Has Father abandoned her as well?"
For the first time, Mother's composure faltered.
Her lips parted soundlessly.
Her eyes widened.
"Your Highness... h-how much do you know?"
One week earlier—
The report had been thin.
Yet the weight it carried in my hands was anything but light.
I stopped before turning the final page.
The office was silent.
Only the steady ticking of the clock divided the passing seconds.
"Are you certain?"
The Chief Secretary of the Eastern Palace lowered his head.
"Yes, Your Highness."
Those three words transformed every line in the report into undeniable fact.
At first, I hadn't cared.
She had been nothing more than one insignificant figure in the background.
An impertinent maid.
Nothing more.
Yet the irritation she stirred slowly became curiosity.
And before I realized it...
Her existence had grown large enough to shake even my own heart.
Naturally, the people around us had noticed.
Those beneath us might pretend not to know.
But those above would quietly begin to move.
And yet...
Everything remained strangely quiet.
As though someone was deliberately suppressing the truth.
Her family consisted of three people.
Her father was an alcoholic, and no meaningful connection could be found.
So I ordered an investigation into her mother instead.
That was when I discovered it.
Her mother had once served in the palace as a maid.
I looked back down at the documents.
The paper had yellowed with age.
Seon Yeojeong.
Beneath her name lay records dating back decades.
Royal Maid Division.
Entered the palace at nineteen.
Assigned to the Detached Palace Maid Quarters.
Excellent service.
Outstanding evaluations...
Slowly, I turned the next page.
Then my eyes stopped.
Dismissed from the palace.
No reason had been recorded.
The file ended abruptly there.
In its place was a handwritten note bearing His Majesty's own signature.
Seon Yeojeong's departure from the palace was not of her own choosing.
No further records regarding this matter are to be kept.
"…Is this everything?"
The Chief Secretary hesitated before quietly placing another file on the desk.
It was wrapped in black velvet.
"There were unofficial records maintained separately."
Without a word, I opened it.
There they were—
Records detailing His Majesty's relationship with Seon Yeojeong in his youth.
The private support that continued even after she left the palace.
Living expenses.
A residence arranged in secret.
Medical bills quietly paid on her behalf.
For decades, everything had been concealed beneath different names and different accounts to hide the identity of the one being protected.
Every trace had been erased.
And yet every erased trace pointed toward the same woman.
Seon Yeojeong.
Almost unconsciously, I turned the next page.
Then my hand froze.
A single letter of recommendation.
〈Special Recommendation of the Imperial Household〉
Recommender:
His Majesty, the King of the Republic of Korea.
The royal seal was stamped clearly beneath it.
Below that was a brief handwritten note.
Do not question her ability.
Do not inquire about her identity.
I read those words over and over again.
Seonmi.
Her arrival at the palace had never been an accident.
Nor had it been a stroke of fortune granted to a poor girl.
Everything...
had begun long before she ever set foot inside the palace.