When Bai Yuan heard the voice, he turned his head and saw Flat Rabbit sitting in the wheelchair, looking half-dead but still very much alive. His face immediately lit up with genuine joy.
"You can already get out of bed and move around? That is wonderful. You… ah… what was your name again?"
Flat Rabbit froze.
"…Flat Rabbit."
"Ah yes, yes, Flat Rabbit," Bai Yuan nodded with complete confidence. "I remember very clearly."
Flat Rabbit stared at him in silence.
This man remembered gratitude with perfect clarity, yet names drifted in and out of his mind like passing clouds. Truly a rare specimen.
Bai Yuan continued seriously, then suddenly straightened his posture and gave Flat Rabbit a proper bow.
"Last time, it was thanks to you guarding the door with your life. Otherwise, I would have already fallen to those villains."
Even though his face-recognition system was permanently bugged, his moral compass worked flawlessly. Gratitude, once recorded, was never deleted.
Flat Rabbit scratched his head, suddenly a bit embarrassed. "White Sir is… studying firearms now?"
Bai Yuan raised the flintlock musket in his hand. "This is a flintlock-modified arquebus. According to Master Song, the arquebus is so accurate it can shoot birds out of the sky, hence the name. However…" He sighed deeply, as though burdened by the suffering of all scholars. "No matter how I use it, I cannot hit a bird at all. This thing has absolutely no accuracy. I am quite troubled."
Flat Rabbit blinked. "Ah… I do not really understand this sort of thing."
Bai Yuan sighed again. "It is not even as accurate as my bow."
At that instant, cold sweat poured down Flat Rabbit's back like a waterfall.
"Not even… as accurate as your bow? Then perhaps… perhaps you should… not use it…"
Bai Yuan narrowed his eyes slightly. "What is that expression supposed to mean? Are you implying my archery is poor? How outrageous. Archery is one of the Six Arts of a Gentleman. I take it very seriously."
He lifted his chin proudly.
"Do you believe that if I place an apple on your head, I can stand a hundred paces away and shoot it clean through with a single arrow?"
Flat Rabbit's soul nearly left his body.
"This… this must absolutely not be attempted. Under no circumstances."
Bai Yuan frowned. "Your reaction clearly shows you do not trust me. Someone, place an apple on his head."
Flat Rabbit panicked. "Gouzi, run!"
Zheng Gouzi did not need a second invitation. He spun the wheelchair around and sprinted away like a man fleeing divine judgment.
The two of them escaped far from the firearm training grounds before finally slowing down.
Just then, the sound of galloping hooves thundered toward them.
A cavalry unit of over a hundred riders surged past like a steel tide. Every rider wore armor, carried a spear, and had a Kaiyuan bow slung across their back. At the front rode a female general, fully armored, her presence so imposing that the word "ferocious" seemed almost inadequate.
Flat Rabbit blinked in shock. "Who is that? Since when did Gao Village Family have such a woman? At first glance, I thought it was Xing Honglang."
Zheng Gouzi chuckled. "That is Zao Ying. She joined us when we were protecting the Saintess in the county. Now she commands the cavalry unit. Very formidable."
Flat Rabbit watched the cavalry charge past in awe, his eyes practically sparkling. "Ah… this rabbit also wants to join the cavalry. Spear-wielding mounted generals are just too handsome. Do you not think that suits my aura perfectly?"
Zheng Gouzi gave him a sideways look. "You just said you wanted to join the Armored Grenadier Battalion."
Flat Rabbit waved it off immediately. "This rabbit will first join the grenadiers, then join the cavalry. Then I ride a horse while throwing grenades. Would that not make me unbeatable?"
Zheng Gouzi fell into deep silence.
It sounded powerful.
It also sounded deeply unhinged.
Before he could respond, another group of cavalry came into view.
This batch, however, looked… less heroic.
Their posture on horseback was stiff, their expressions tense, their faces slightly pale as if they were negotiating with fear itself.
Zheng Gouzi pointed at them. "Those are the newly promoted cavalry. See how they look the moment the horses speed up? Their souls are practically leaving their bodies. They are nowhere near ready for mounted combat. If you join now, you will look exactly like that. Forget being majestic, you will struggle just to keep up."
Flat Rabbit clicked his tongue. "Hmph. Cavalry is useless in mountain warfare anyway. This rabbit has decided not to join."
Zheng Gouzi stared at him, completely speechless.
Your decision-making process is truly a masterpiece of opportunistic logic.
…
Northern Shaanxi, Mizhi County.
An unemployed young man named Li Zicheng stood in a dim room, holding a dagger still dripping with blood.
On the ground lay the body of his wife, Han Jiner.
She had betrayed him, taken another man, and placed a green hat firmly upon his head. In a fit of rage, he had stabbed her to death with his own hands.
The door creaked open.
His nephew, Li Guo, stepped in and immediately took in the scene. The corpse, the blood, the blade.
"Heh," he said. "Uncle, you killed her?"
Li Zicheng's voice was cold. "Killed her. What use was she alive?"
Li Guo shrugged. "She deserved it. But the authorities will not ignore this. What do we do now?"
Li Zicheng did not hesitate. "Run. What else is there to do?"
"Run where?"
Li Zicheng fell into thought, then spoke slowly. "To the south. Huanglong Mountain. There is a rebel force there led by Wang Zuogua. I hear he is a real man, with tens of thousands under him. We might as well join him."
Li Guo nodded without hesitation. "Alright."
The two quickly gathered what they could and fled Mizhi County, heading toward Huanglong Mountain.
Thus, in the second year of Chongzhen, an unemployed man named Li Zicheng, driven by rage and humiliation, killed his wife and stepped onto the road of banditry.
…
At the same time that Li Zicheng was fleeing toward Huanglong Mountain, a lone rider galloped into Gao Village Family at full speed.
The horse charged straight toward Bai Yuan before coming to a halt.
The rider was none other than Patrol Officer Fang Wushang.
His sudden arrival startled Bai Yuan.
Nearby, Li Dao Xuan was gnawing on a massive beef bone beside the box. He paused mid-bite and let out a small "Huh."
This guy again? Charging in alone like a one-man cavalry unit?
Li Dao Xuan casually glanced toward the southwest.
Sure enough, over a hundred soldiers were still far behind, jogging toward the village like a delayed delivery package. Fang Wushang, with his impatient temperament, had clearly refused to wait for them.
Bai Yuan stepped forward. "General Fang, what has happened?"
Fang Wushang was practically shouting. "Instructor Bai, why are you still here relaxing? Gather all militia forces immediately. Every village, every town. War is coming."
Bai Yuan was taken aback. "What happened now?"
Even Li Dao Xuan frowned.
Fang Wushang took a breath and spoke rapidly. "A few days ago, Shaanxi's regional commander Wang Chengen, under orders from the newly appointed governor Liu Guangsheng, defeated the bandit Fan Shanyue at Heyang County. After suffering a crushing defeat, Fan Shanyue surrendered and accepted imperial amnesty."
Bai Yuan blinked. "That sounds like a good thing."
Li Dao Xuan silently shook his head.
Good? Not even close.
Accepting amnesty without food, without land, without resettlement is just a polite way of saying "starve peacefully."
Fang Wushang continued grimly. "The surrender was successful, but Fan Shanyue's men are not behaving. On their way back to their hometowns, they are occupying villages, allowing their followers to plunder the countryside. They call it 'foraging for grain.' When officials questioned them, asking why they continued to cause trouble after accepting amnesty, they replied that they had no food for the journey home, so they had no choice but to rob along the way."
Li Dao Xuan sighed inwardly.
Exactly as expected.
Bai Yuan's brows knit together. "This…"
Fang Wushang cut him off. "Now is not the time for discussion. Fan Shanyue's main forces are near Heyang, but many of his subordinates come from Cheng County and neighboring Baishui County. As they return home, they will inevitably pass through our region and cause chaos."
Understanding dawned on Bai Yuan's face.
"We need to mobilize the militia and suppress them."
The storm was coming, and this time, it was not just one enemy. It was an entire tide.
Historical note:
Records disagree wildly on Li Zicheng's early career. Some say he joined border troops first. Others say he defected to different bandit leaders. No source agrees with another.
So the author chose the simplest answer: ignore them all and send him straight to Wang Zuogua.
Trivia & Cultural Notes
[1] Six Arts
The classical Confucian curriculum: rites, music, archery, charioteering, calligraphy, and mathematics. Archery wasn't about accuracy alone—it symbolized moral discipline. A missed shot implied inner imbalance, which is why scholars took bad aim personally.
"Wearing the Green Hat"
A common idiom meaning being cuckolded. In Ming times, it was one of the deepest humiliations a man could suffer, often provoking violence.
"Collecting Grain"
A euphemism used by surrendered or semi-legal troops. Officially requisitioning supplies; in reality, sanctioned looting when logistics collapsed.
Kaiyuan Bow
A standardized military bow used from the Tang onward, known for durability and mass production—less elegant than civilian bows, but brutally effective.