The dust from the catastrophic collapse of Building D was still settling, billowing out into the freezing Punk Hazard air like a massive, gray storm cloud. Deep within the sub-levels of the neighboring facility, Trafalgar Law walked in total silence. His boots clicked rhythmically against the pristine, sterile tiles of the SAD manufacturing plant.
The room was bathed in a sickly, fluorescent green light, reflecting off the massive, cylindrical glass vats that lined the walls. Inside these vats churned the chemical substance known as SAD—the crucial, highly volatile ingredient required to manufacture artificial Zoan Devil Fruits. This was the lifeline of Donquixote Doflamingo's underworld empire. This was the reason Kaido of the Beasts provided Joker with so much power and protection.
Law stood in the center of the massive chamber, his grip tightening around the hilt of Kikoku. The memories of Corazon, of the years spent plotting in the shadows, of the suffocating weight of Doflamingo's grip on his life... it all culminated right here.
"Room," Law whispered.
A massive, translucent blue sphere expanded, completely enveloping the entire manufacturing plant.
Law didn't just swing his sword. He unleashed a furious, blinding flurry of surgical slashes. He cut vertically, horizontally, and diagonally, dicing the entire room into perfectly symmetrical cubes. The massive vats shattered simultaneously. Millions of gallons of the highly toxic, glowing green SAD liquid cascaded onto the floor, draining uselessly into the facility's waste filtration grates.
Law sheathed his nodachi with a sharp click.
"It's done," Law muttered, pulling his spotted hat low over his eyes. The first, most crucial gear of the New World had just been shattered beyond repair. Now, he just had to retrieve his idiot alliance partners and get off this island.
He turned his back on the ruined SAD room and began the long trek toward the Biscuit Room. As he walked, a heavy sense of dread began to pool in his stomach. Not fear of Kaido. Not fear of Joker.
He was dreading the migraine that was about to occur when he reunited with the Straw Hat Pirates.
---
Inside the Biscuit Room, the atmosphere was a bizarre mix of intense medical triage and reunion.
A soft, electronic chime echoed from the Kimoyo beads secured around the wrists of the Straw Hats present in the room. A moment later, the heavy steel doors slid open. Merry skipped into the room, followed closely by Vivi, Dorry, and Brogy.
"We're here!" Merry cheered, waving her hands.
"Thank goodness," Nami sighed, rushing over to hug Vivi. "Did you guys run into any trouble?"
"Just a couple of oversized yetis," Brogy laughed, patting his Uru axe. "They tried to ambush us with knockout gas. The princess simply twirled it away, and Dorry and I handled the rest."
"Glad you guys are safe," Ben said, leaning against a candy pillar. "We're just waiting on the others now. Chopper's got the situation with the kids stabilized for the moment."
Just as Ben spoke, the doors hissed open once again.
Sanji strode into the room, dusting off his suit jacket, which was strangely completely dry despite his recent dive into the freezing lake. Flanking him was the towering figure of Kashi.
And walking proudly between them was Kin'emon, fully assembled and completely whole. The samurai stood tall, his traditional Wano robes fully restored, his hand resting firmly on the hilt of his katana.
"I have returned!" Kin'emon announced, his voice booming with dramatic, theatrical gravity. "My body is whole, my spirit is restored, and I am now prepared to scour this treacherous island until I find my beloved son—"
"Father!"
A high-pitched, desperate cry echoed from across the room.
Sitting on Oimo's massive shoulder, the sleeping pink dragon had suddenly jolted awake at the sound of the samurai's voice. The little creature scrambled down the giant's arm, hit the floorboards, and sprinted toward Kin'emon as fast as his tiny, clawed feet could carry him.
As the pink dragon leaped into the air toward the samurai, a massive puff of white smoke suddenly erupted with a loud POOF! The smoke cleared in a second. The pink dragon was gone. In its place, falling directly into Kin'emon's arms, was a small, crying human boy with a shaved head and a traditional samurai topknot.
"Momonosuke!" Kin'emon wept, dropping to his knees and hugging the boy tightly. Tears streamed down the hardened samurai's face like waterfalls. "Oh, the heavens be praised! You are safe! You are alive!"
"Father! It was so scary!" Momonosuke sobbed, burying his face in Kin'emon's chest. "I was so hungry, and the men in the suits chased me, and then I turned into a giant, ugly pink lizard!"
Kin'emon froze. The tears stopped instantly. He slowly pulled his son back by the shoulders, his face turning entirely pale.
"A... a lizard?" Kin'emon stammered, his eyes wide with horror. "Momonosuke... did you consume a Devil Fruit?"
"I was starving!" Momonosuke wailed. "It tasted like rotting garbage, but it turned me into a dragon!"
Kin'emon fell backward, clutching his chest as if he had just been stabbed. "A DRAGON?! OF ALL THE CURSED CREATURES IN THIS WORLD, YOU BECAME A DRAGON?! The vile beast! Oh, the shame! The unbearable tragedy!"
"He's being a little dramatic, isn't he?" Franky sweatdropped, watching the samurai wail in despair over his son's new mythical powers.
"Let them have their moment," Robin smiled gently.
Ben pushed off the candy pillar, his eyes suddenly narrowing. His Observation Haki flared, picking up a massive cluster of life signatures rushing down the corridor directly toward their location.
"We've got company," Ben announced, his voice cutting through the noise of the room. "And it's not Luffy or Zoro. It's the Marines."
Everyone instantly tensed. Sanji's leg ignited with a faint flicker of flames, Franky raised his heavy mechanical fists, and Brogy unhooked his axe.
The heavy steel doors were violently kicked open.
Standing in the doorway, panting heavily and gripping his jutte tightly, was Smoker—currently trapped inside Tashigi's much smaller body. Behind him stood Tashigi, awkwardly gripping her sword inside Smoker's massive frame, followed by dozens of heavily armed G-5 Marines, their rifles raised and aimed directly at the pirates.
Instantly, a smooth, echoing voice projected directly into the minds of every Straw Hat in the room, as well as the conscious giant children huddled in the corner.
(Listen closely,) Ben's telepathic voice commanded, crystal clear inside their heads. (We don't need a pointless brawl right now. We are going to play a little game. Usopp, you are the mastermind villain holding these kids hostage. Everyone else, act incredibly threatening. Kids... I need you to cry and act like we're the bad guys. If you do a good job, I'll give you all sweets later.)
Usopp's eyes went wide. A villain? A mastermind?
A massive, deeply sinister grin spread across Usopp's face. He lived for this. This was his moment.
(I was born for this,) Usopp projected back through the telepathic link, cracking his knuckles.
BAM!
"STRAW HATS!" Smoker roared, his voice echoing fiercely despite Tashigi's vocal cords. "Nobody move! You are all surrounded!"
The room was a masterclass in intimidation. Sanji was glaring daggers, blowing a puff of cigarette smoke into the air. Brogy and Dorry stood like monolithic statues of doom. Franky charged his palm lasers, the blue light reflecting off his metallic nose.
And in the center of it all stood Usopp.
The sniper had pulled his goggles down over his eyes, obscuring them in shadow. He stood with one foot resting arrogantly on a candy block, his nanotech slingshot drawn back and aimed casually toward the huddled, terrified children.
"Well, well, well," Usopp drawled, his voice dripping with exaggerated. "If it isn't the Marines. You're a little late to the party, aren't you?"
Smoker's eyes immediately locked onto the giant children, and his stomach plummeted. He saw Sind and the others chained to the candy pillars, their faces pale and sweating from the drug withdrawal.
"The kidnapped children!" Tashigi gasped from within Smoker's body, her grip tightening on her sword. "You pirates... what have you done to them?!"
"What have we done?" Usopp laughed, a high, mocking sound that sent genuine chills down the Marines' spines. "Oh, we're just making sure our leverage stays exactly where we want it. Drop your weapons, Marines. Drop them right now, or the brats get it."
Smoker gritted his teeth, a vein popping on his forehead. "You cowardly scum. You think taking hostages will save you?! I'll tear you apart!"
(Cue the waterworks, kids,) Ben telepathically signaled.
Instantly, the children began to wail. Ben's promise of real sweets gave them the motivation to aim their pleas directly at the Marines.
"Please!" a giant girl sobbed, pointing a trembling finger at the chained Sind. "Don't make them mad! They tied up Sind! They're so mean! Put your guns down, please!"
"I want to go home!" another boy wailed, tears streaming down his face. "The long-nosed man is scary!"
The Marines of G-5, infamous for their brutal tactics and rough demeanor, completely froze. Seeing the innocent, crying children begging for their lives shattered their combat resolve.
Smoker gripped his jutte so hard his knuckles turned white. He glared at Usopp, his eyes burning with hatred. He calculated the distance, the speed of the sniper, the presence of the giants and the cyborg. There was no way to blitz the pirates without catching the kids in the crossfire.
"Stand down," Smoker ordered, his voice tight with suppressed rage.
"Vice Admiral?!" a marine protested.
"I said STAND DOWN!" Smoker roared.
Reluctantly, the G-5 Marines lowered their rifles, the heavy clatter of weapons hitting the floor echoing through the room.
"Good boys," Usopp sneered, entirely consumed by his role. "Now, let's make sure you stay out of our way."
Ben stepped forward. He reached his hand into the empty space beside him, opening his spatial dimension. He pulled out a large, clinking bundle of heavy metallic handcuffs and tossed them across the floor. They skidded and clattered, stopping directly at the Marines' feet.
"Put them on," Ben ordered coldly. "Fasten them securely. The one with the Vice Admiral's coat gets the Seastone cuffs. The rest of you get the standard ones. If I see a single one of you try a trick, the sniper lets loose."
Smoker scowled, bending down to pick up the Seastone cuffs. He locked them around Tashigi's(Smoker Body) wrists, instantly feeling the draining, weakening effect of the sea wash over her.
The other Marines picked up their cuffs. These were no ordinary restraints; Ben had magically enchanted them. The moment the metal clasped around the wrists, a heavy, suffocating wave of extreme lethargy hit them. It felt as if they hadn't slept in an entire week. Their knees buckled, and dozens of heavily armed Marines slumped to the floor, groaning in exhaustion.
Usopp smirked, pushing his goggles up. The ruse had worked perfectly. The Marines were completely neutralized without a single drop of blood being shed. The Straw Hats exchanged subtle, victorious grins. They had completely outsmarted G-5.
BAM!
The steel doors on the opposite side of the Biscuit Room flew open so hard they ripped off their hinges and smashed into the wall.
"CAESAR!" Luffy roared, sprinting into the room at top speed. His eyes were burning with rage, his fists clenched, completely oblivious to his surroundings. "WHERE ARE YOU?! COME OUT AND FIGHT ME, YOU BASTARD!"
The entire room froze.
Luffy skidded to a halt in the center of the playroom. He looked left. He looked right. He completely ignored the dozens of groaning, handcuffed Marines sitting on the floor.
Luffy's eyes locked onto Chopper. The captain's rage instantly vanished, replaced by a wide, innocent, beaming smile.
"Oh, hey Chopper!" Luffy chirped loudly, his voice echoing in the dead silence of the room. "Did you finish curing the sick kids yet?! I couldn't find Caesar anywhere, so I figured I'd come back and see if you needed help saving them!"
A record scratch seemed to echo through the universe itself.
The silence that followed was so heavy it possessed a gravitational pull.
Smoker blinked.
Tashigi blinked.
The G-5 Marines blinked.
Wait... curing the kids? Saving them?
Behind Luffy, the entire Straw Hat crew simultaneously raised their hands and violently smacked their own foreheads. The collective SLAP echoed like a gunshot.
The mastermind villain illusion had just been shattered into a million irreparable pieces in less than three seconds.
Nami's eyes rolled entirely into the back of her head. A terrifying, demonic aura of rage erupted around her. Her teeth morphed into sharp, jagged shark teeth. She stomped forward, grabbed Luffy by the collar of his vest, and delivered a massive, skull-rattling punch to the top of his head.
"READ THE ROOM, YOU RUBBER IDIOT!" Nami shrieked, shaking him violently. "WE HAD THEM! WE HAD THEM COMPLETELY FOOLED! YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!"
Luffy rubbed the massive, smoking bump forming on his head, completely bewildered. "Ow! What did I do?! I just asked about the kids!"
He finally turned his head, his eyes landing on the rows of exhausted Marines sitting on the floor in handcuffs.
Luffy tilted his head, blinking owlishly. "Huh? What are you guys doing on the floor? And why are you wearing handcuffs?"
Luffy pointed a finger, looking genuinely confused. "Shouldn't you guys be trying to put those on us? You're Marines, right? Did you forget how your job works?"
Usopp let out a strangled, dying noise. He marched forward and delivered a second, equally violent smack to the back of Luffy's head.
"WHY ARE YOU SYMPATHIZING WITH THEM?!" Usopp screamed, tears of sheer frustration flying from his eyes. "WE JUST TRICKED THEM INTO HANDCUFFING THEMSELVES, YOU MORON! YOU EXPOSED THE ENTIRE PLOT!"
Sitting on the floor, the giant children couldn't hold it in anymore. The absurdity of the pirate captain getting beaten up by his own crew was too much. The kids burst into fits of echoing, joyous laughter, completely forgetting their fear.
The Marines of G-5 sat on the floor, heavy, dark vertical lines descending over their faces.
They looked at their magically enchanted handcuffs. They looked at the laughing children. They looked at the Straw Hats, who were currently strangling their own captain.
"We..." a G-5 marine whispered, his soul leaving his body. "We just handcuffed ourselves... because of a prank?"
Smoker, trapped in Tashigi's body, slowly lowered his head until his forehead rested against the cold steel floor. He didn't say a word. He just wanted the earth to open up and swallow him whole. The humiliation of being outsmarted by the Straw Hat Pirates was a fate worse than death.
Just as the chaos reached its peak, the heavy steel doors hissed open one final time.
Trafalgar Law stepped into the Biscuit Room.
He was covered in dust from the SAD room explosion, exhausted from his brutal fight with Vergo, and completely ready to outline the next tactical phase of their grand Yonko-toppling alliance.
Law stopped in the doorway.
He looked at the G-5 Marines, sitting on the floor in handcuffs, looking utterly dead inside.
He looked at the giant children, rolling on the floor in fits of laughter.
He looked at Nami and Usopp, who were currently stretching Luffy's rubber cheeks in opposite directions while screaming at him about 'villain acting.'
Law stood there in silence for five full seconds.
He slowly reached up, pinched the bridge of his nose, and closed his eyes.
"I don't want to know," Law said, his voice entirely devoid of emotion. "I don't want to know what happened here. I am going to turn around, count to ten, and when I turn back, someone is going to tell me we are leaving."
Law turned his back to the room and began to count loudly. "One. Two. Three..."