Chapter 20 - The grass is always greener….
Finally, on a rainy October 14th, nearly a month after their last visit to the Headmaster, Harry and Hermione were again invited into his office. Since their last visit, Albus Dumbledore had been more away from, than in the school, which most students saw as a sign of how bad things really were out there. The silent phase of the war had ceased and things were heating up again, although slowly. There was not much known, but there were rumours of attacks in the Muggle world.
"Hello, you two. Take a seat. Would you care for a lemon drop?" Dumbledore offered as soon as they had entered.
Harry chose to put the man off balance. "Yes, thank you," he said, and took one of the sweets. Since the Headmaster always ate from the same dish, Harry assumed them to be untainted, and the old man's face at the unexpected turn of events was priceless.
Professor Dumbledore immediately insisted that they should not procrastinate to watch the memory he had prepared, since it was a long one, and they dived into the pensieve. There, they met a younger Dumbledore on his way to an orphanage, where he met Tom Marvolo Riddle to deliver him his Hogwarts letter. Hermione and Harry were shocked to see the young boy sitting there, calmly telling a stranger about bullying people. Even more shocking was how carefully the boy could school his expressions to hide his true feelings. Even back then, Riddle was a masterful liar and manipulator. Even when he relented to return some stolen knick-knacks to the other kids, you could see that it wasn't done out of remorse or due to fear, it was a cool calculated act to get admission to Hogwarts. It was a very long memory, but eventually, they were ejected and landed back in the Headmaster's office.
"I can't believe you actually allowed him to attend Hogwarts," was the first thing Hermione said after they had sat down. "He was cruel back then, already. He even outright admitted that he had intentionally hurt people - he was actually proud of it!"
"I was under the impression that he could be reformed if he were given the chance," Dumbledore replied.
"Tell me, have you actually managed to reform anyone by now?" Harry snorted, and only a light flinch of the Headmaster's beard showed that this jab had hit the target.
"Please, let's keep on topic," Dumbledore said with a strained voice. "The important thing in this memory is his character. We have learned that Riddle never trusted anybody and had a magpie tendency."
"Does this have anything to do with the ring and the locket?" Hermione questioned.
"This, I can't say yet, but it is possible," Dumbledore evaded the question.
Hermione wasn't in the mood to let this slide. "Not yet? Why?"
"I don't believe such an important thing should be subjected to mere speculation and guesswork," Dumbledore replied evasively. Suddenly, he put on a surprised face. "Now look, isn't it amazing how time flies when you are in good company?" he said in his grandfather-voice. "I'm afraid it's really time for bed," he told his guests.
"I will explain on the next meeting, I promise," he stated when Hermione made motions to ask another question.
Only their considerable willpower and the time spent around the twins allowed Hermione and Harry to refrain from rolling their eyes at this thinly veiled dismissal in the face of uncomfortable questions.
ooOOoo
"You know, he's hiding something," Hermione muttered to Harry as they returned to Gryffindor tower.
"Of course he is; he's Dumbledore. As long as he breathes, he is hiding something. It's probably something very important, none of his business, will cause some good person harm in the name of the greater good, while trying to reform a lost soul. The problem is we don't have the slightest clue what," Harry agreed with her as they navigated the moving stairs back to their dorm. Again, Harry mentally questioned the sanity of whoever had the glorious idea to cause staircases to switch their direction randomly. One day, it took him no less than ten minutes to cross two flights in the right direction. "At least I can't come up with anything," he sighed.
"That's par for the course - what bothers me more is that even I don't have any clue," Hermione teased, squealing as he dug his fingers into her side.
"I'm not that bad," he whined.
"Harry! I came in your arms in the middle of a Ministry hallway and you didn't get it until I told you later that day," Hermione quipped.
"You'll never let me for get this, won't you?" Harry smirked back. "But that's ok with me, Tonks will probably never let you forget this, neither," he tried to retaliate as they finally reached the right floor and turned right, heading for the next, stationary stairway.
"Why would I want to forget that?" Hermione mumbled, blushing more than just slightly.
"Good that you bring that up," Harry spoke as he put his arm around her, pulling her close. "You also forgot that nettling me like that makes me very creative in reminding you of your place," he whispered into her ear as his hand casually found her neck, grasping her hair playfully, but firmly.
"Aye, Captain," Hermione whispered, lowering her gaze in a well played gesture of obedience, that also hid her smug smile.
If Harry could read minds, he would have heard an echo of her prior statement.
*** A Tuesday evening***
Late in the evening, just in time for curfew, Ginny cautiously poked her head through the hole into the common room. Taking a quick look around, she confirmed that the path was clear and dashed up the stairs and into her dorm. Slamming the door shut and leaning her forehead against the cool wood, she gave a sigh of relief. She was safe, at least for now.
"Hello Ginevra," a cold voice greeted her.
Horrified, she wheeled and saw that Hermione was sitting on her bed, just coming out of disillusionment, slowly fading into sight.
"Take a seat, would you?" Hermione said with a smile that didn't reach her eyes, tapping her wand onto her left palm repeatedly.
Slowly, as not to scare the older witch that probably knew more curses than the rest of the students combined, Ginny sat on the bed of Romilda, opposite to her own. Hermione's eyes rested on her, unmoving and unblinking, as if she considered what to transfigure the girl in front of her into.
"I'm sorry," Ginny blurted when she couldn't stand it anymore. "I thought you went to the room to practise and when I came in and saw Harry hitting you with that riding crop, I just reacted," she babbled, nervously fingering the hem of her skirt.
"You ran out," Hermione stated, evenly, but Ginny was terrified by the fact that she didn't tap her wand anymore. She now held it in a standard casting grip.
"When Harry fell, I saw that you were… and tied… table..." Ginny stuttered frantically.
"And you ran out on me..."
"You were screaming at me..." Ginny whispered, while she ducked her head.
"I think that was appropriate, since you just had stunned my boyfriend during sex," her older friend said icily. "No, that's not right, it was still during foreplay... " she corrected herself mid-statement before glaring at the redhead in front of her.
"And then you ran out!" Hermione hissed, her eyebrows unifying to a single one.
Ginny didn't answer to that. She knew that if Hermione weren't tied to that table, she would probably have cursed her already back then... 'BOLLOCKS!' it rushed through her head and made her cringe involuntarily when Ginny realized why Hermione was so mad at her.
"50 minutes. It took bloody 50 minutes until Harry woke up and could free me," Hermione confirmed as she noticed the younger girl connecting the dots. Naturally, she still glared.
"I'm sorry," Ginny repeated, once again, shrinking even more. "I am sorry that you were uncomfortable for so long."
"Uncomfortable?" Hermione shrieked. "Do you have any idea what you have done?" she yelled at her, falling quiet with a wince as she had leaned forward.
Ginny didn't reply anything, and kept her head down and quiet, since she actually had no idea.
Hermione took a deep breath, carefully settled back onto the bed and began to explain. "Apart from leaving me behind, bound and naked, which could have been disastrous on its own, if it weren't for the fact that only we three could enter that room," Hermione spoke in a very calm voice - something that worried Ginny much more than any yelling could ever do. "What you didn't see was that Harry and I were testing a new runic project of his! To give you a hint, it was a combination of an adhesive matrix coupled with a pattern that created rather loud sounds within a silencing pattern," Hermione completed her explanation.
Ginny tried to decipher that, but came up with nothing.
"It stuck to me and was vibrating. Rather heftily, I have to admit…" Hermione growled at her.
Ginny gaped open-mouthed at her friend.
Ever since returning to school this year, Hermione had started to confide in Ginny and chatted with her about the things two people in love could do to each other, most of those things Ginny had never even heard about before.
To be frank, if Ginny had just talked about something even as innocent as snogging at home, her mother would have washed out her mouth! So she wasn't used to anybody, let alone the known prude Hermione, being that forthcoming with info about her sex life.
Still, Hermione had never told her about details of her own sex life, only vague descriptions, and that some things were 'good' or 'not so good'. Given what Hermione and Harry evidently did, she wasn't surprised that Hermione wasn't that upfront. But why would she start chatting about her sex life just now?
Another look at Hermione told her that the girl didn't intend to do some pillow talk right now. Hermione gingerly shifted on the bed and leaned forward, glaring daggers. "It first... hit me... three minutes after you were out. But since my boyfriend was knocked out, he couldn't do anything," she sweetly told the smaller girl that slowly became aware what she had done.
"Six times! Six bloody times," Hermione growled, and Ginny winced in sympathy.
"Do you have any idea how fucking bad that hurts after the second time?"
Ginny winced again as Hermione's growl had grown even more threatening. Of course, part of the wince was due to the pain she could imagine. At this very moment, she wasn't sure anymore if she would leave this room alive.
"I'm sorry," Ginny said for the umpteenth time, "I promise to knock next time and not just assume you are training in there. I should have known better that you don't usually go training after class."
Hermione nodded her agreement. "And if you ever again stumble across us and do something stupid like stunning before asking, at least untie me, okay?" she said, while carefully easing herself into a standing position. Grimacing in pain, she waved her wand at herself, casting a new numbing charm at her lap and sighing in relief.
"I'll forgive you this time, since it was partly our own fault using the usual training room that lets you in; but if anybody learns about what you have seen, even the slightest bit, I'll let you experience that yourself for a whole day, understood?" Hermione promised that with a tone that left no doubt that she not only would to that, but also that the re-enactment probably would include a roughly sawn four by four pole, and no one would ever find her body. Ginny nodded her head fiercely in reply.
"Good. Now excuse me, I'm going to soak in the prefects bath for a day or so," Hermione stated and then made it out in wobbly steps.
*** October 26th, Hogwarts castle ***
"Ginny! What the hell are you doing?" Ron's voice rose over the din of the team as all moved towards the Great Hall and lunch after the practise.
The practise went rather well, considering the light drizzle the day had given them. Despite the wet and cold weather, the team started getting their act together and the new beaters proved to be good. Not stellar like the twins, but solid, and light-years beyond their predecessors.
Only Ron had a real bad day. He started with a few good saves, but then he missed one and got so furious at himself that he missed nearly every single one that followed before he eventually recovered. His mood never did.
The chasers, on the other hand, worked like a well-oiled scoring machine. With Ginny and Katie as example, Demelza quickly fell into her rhythm, and they tore Ron apart.
When the practice finally was over, Ginny ran ahead of the team with Dean, who had been sitting out the session due to a light hand injury during Herbology that would be fine by Friday, the last day before their match. Harry met up with Hermione in front of the changing rooms after she had watched the practice like a dutiful girlfriend, under a conjured umbrella and a book in hand.
Ron's shout and his full stop interrupted the motion of the whole group and ended the amorous chit-chat between Harry and Hermione at the back of the group, since they nearly walked into the suddenly stopping Katie Bell.
"What does it look like to you, dear brother?" Hissed the angry voice of Ginny, which was a sure sign that bat-boogies were soon to fly. Naturally, most of the team took this as their sign to rush off, leaving Harry and Hermione standing in a nearly empty hallway. Nearly, except for a furious Ron and a confused Dean with a spitting mad Ginny still in his arms, but glaring at her brother.
When Ron made the mistake to point out that it wasn't appropriate to snog in the corridors-in a slightly less cultivated manner-Harry was sure that this would not end well.
After a shouting match that figuratively burned Ron to a cinder with several scathing remarks about his maturity and love life, especially the lack of both, Ginny just noted that she should find a broom closet for Dean and her. Letting actions speak for her, she took off, dragging the slightly put out looking Dean Thomas after her. This caused a sputtering Ron to follow them, but not before he glared an accusing look at Hermione and Harry for laughing so hard.
The 'battle of the broom closet' as people had christened the later occurring fight, was the talk all over school for days. The detentions lasted even longer.
ooOOoo
"Strange," Harry mouthed after he was finally alone with Hermione. Raising an eyebrow in question, Hermione prompted him to share his musings.
"I wonder about Ginny's perfume, did you notice that flowery smell?"
Hermione frowned. "Yes, I know. She has started wearing the same perfume as me. At first, she nicked some when we were at the Burrow last summer, and to keep her off mine, I finally gave her a bottle for her birthday."
"Oh yeah, right, I knew I had noticed it somewhere before. Why did you stop?" Harry asked after he had sniffed at her neck. "I like that smell."
"I ran out of it sometime on the island, I used it for years. We'll have to shop for it sometime, okay?" Hermione smiled at him, before smirking evilly. "Or I can ask Ginny for a bit. She seems to have lots to spare if she uses so much that we could smell her across the hallway," she said laughing, Harry joining in.
They turned and continued their way to lunch, and somewhere along the way, Harry pulled her close. "So you did snog Krum?" he commented one of the points Ginny had brought up. "I thought it was only a goodnight kiss," he teased her.
Hermione gnawed at her lip while she mentally cursed her red-headed chatterbox friend. "What would you've done in my place?" she replied with a small snort "Imagine you had a date with, say... Gabriella Sabatini, would you have refused a kiss?"
"If you put it that way," Harry chuckled as he pulled a dangling rope to open one of the shortcuts hidden behind a tapestry and invited her to step through.
"She is hot," he commented off-handedly as he caught up and slung his arm around her waist. Hermione smirked superiorly back as he conceded that argument.
A few moments later, she yelped in surprise when Harry pulled her into an alcove, pinning her against the wall. "You know what; I now think it was your perfume I smelled with the Amortentia…" he whispered into her ear, before his lips descended onto the vein at her neck.
***November 2nd ***
On the day of the match, Ron was a nervous wreck at breakfast.
The practice yesterday was terrible. Ron had been in a terrible mood for the last few days, and every time he saw Ginny, he felt furious. That was mirrored by his keeper performance at the practice. Not even the Chudley Cannons' current keeper had received so many goals in the span of a single hour. In one particular low-point, he came within an inch of performing the Starfish without stick.
He barely ate a thing, and when Harry told him to finish up so that they could leave for the pitch, he bolted to the loo in order to return even the little bit he had managed to eat.
"Maybe you should give him some of your luck potion, Hermione; but that would be useless if he can't keep it in," Ginny suggested with a laugh that was echoed by the rest of the team as Ron rushed out.
Despite their Keeper being in tatters, the team was quite relaxed. While they were playing Slytherin, they knew that they would not be hard-pressed to win. When the team was introduced yesterday, they found out that the snakes had a new, inexperienced fourth year for seeker that had no chance to beat Harry. Malfoy had resigned for some reason. All they had to do was keep possession of the Quaffle, ratchet up the score, and wait for Harry to seal the win.
*** Later that day ***
Harry groaned happily as Hermione's hands continued doing their magic. She was currently straddling him while her hands ran over his chest, massaging his strained muscles.
"Now I know why professional players get a massage right after the game," he nearly purred as Hermione's finger dug into the spot where the chest muscle connected to the arm.
"You better plan on only having me do that once you turn professional, you prat," Hermione mock-growled back as she dug her fingers into his sides, catching his attention.
"If you think you'll get out of this chore, you've got another thing coming," Harry growled back, catching her tickling fingers. "And now behave, or it'll be sore all day," he said. Reaching out and taking hold of her curly locks, he pulled her down, face-to-face. "And then you'll be the same for a week," he threatened with a smirk.
"Aye, aye, Capt'n," Hermione replied with a lewd grin, before she licked his nose. Laughing, she settled back to continue her work, while Harry drew a face as he wiped his nose with the back of his hand.
At a score of 60 to 40 for Gryffindor, Harry had spotted the Snitch. The problem was, it was heading straight towards the opposite Seeker, and it was only a matter of time until the boy would have noticed it. So Harry had pushed his broom to the maximum, and managed to catch it a fraction of a second before the other did, wrapping his hand around Harry's.
But holding hands while flying in opposite directions meant pulled muscles. Harry was the bigger one, and came off lightly - the other seeker actually came clean off his broomstick and had to be floated to the infirmary with a dislocated shoulder and a broken elbow. For Harry, it was only one potion and a recommendation to get a massage from his fiancée.
"I still can't get the picture out of my mind," Hermione said after a while, when she moved her hands to his stomach, caressing his developing six-pack. 'A bit more time with Tonks and he will be perfect,'she thought, trying to paint the disgusting memory currently plaguing her over with the sight of her Captain beneath her.
"Me neither," Harry sighed. "But the sound was even more disgusting - I can't believe I actually heard them over the din in the Common room!"
"You prat!" Hermione gave him a hard slap on the chest for that. "Did you have to remind me of that? I was glad when Lavender finally pulled Ron out of the room to find a private place," Hermione chided him. "Honestly, I wonder how she managed to remove her tongue from his stomach long enough to do so," she added as an afterthought.
"True. They were scary - remember that film your dad chose? The one your mother hated so much and was scared to death of? What was it called... 'Alien', I think," Harry chuckled and Hermione replied with a bout of laughter that made her wiggle on his lap quite nicely.
"True. Let's call them 'Facehuggers' from now on. They won't get it, but the Muggleborn and Halfbloods will spread it like wildfire," Hermione replied with her most evil smile, making Harry wonder how much longer his former best friend would stay in the doghouse.
"By the way, it was very sweet how you handled Ginny throwing herself at you; the poor thing," Hermione said, giving Harry a loving kiss on the chest.
"What was I supposed to do? Shag her in front of everybody? Make a scene? Or dump you just because she made advances on me? It was best just to laugh, give her a hug and tell her that once you decide to share, she would be the first I'd call. And I know you won't, ever," he chuckled as she gave him the evil eye.
"You better remember that! But I meant how you took her aside and talked to her. It was kind of cute how she cried herself out on your shoulder."
"I doubt she'll remember in the morning," Harry said, pulling his girl down on top of him.
Hermione snuggled herself into a comfortable position before she answered. "True. While I can understand her being down after Dean dumped her; to get herself so thoroughly plastered... Wait till I find out who brought the Firewhisky," she growled.
Harry nodded sadly, flinching as while doing so, he had tickled his nose with her hair.
"At least he wasn't too much of an ass about it. I talked to him; one of the things was that he wasn't sure if Ron was opposed to him dating Ginny because he's black instead of a principled 'my sister dies as a virgin' thing. But in the end, he decided that it wasn't worth it after he saw Ginny fight with Ron at the 'battle'. You know, they actually started hexing each other - Dean said he now knows how it would be to fight with her, and that finally sent him running. He didn't want to throw a spanner into our team's works, so he just waited until after the game to call it quits," he informed her of his talk to Dean.
Hermione nodded thoughtfully. "I'll talk to her later. Given the 'Tuesday incident', she will probably be scared to death around me if I don't, after how she rubbed herself on you like a pole dancer. And I'll certainly have words with her about alcohol, moderation and restraint. To think she was like that because she wanted to drown her sorrows - think how she would be when you win the cup - she would try to shag her way up and down the boy's tower! Probably starting with you," she added with a smirk.
"I hope so, after all, I am the most attractive boy in there," Harry preened himself smugly, before he had to defend himself from a vicious tickling attack.
ooOOoo
November, and thus the first snow, had come and confined the students to the castle, except for short stints. Almost unnoticed by Harry, due to the intense practice schedule, Dumbledore once again was nowhere to be found, except for occasional appearances in the Great Hall, just to vanish before even Ron had finished his first helping.
Since their primary quest was completely put to a stop by that problem, Harry and Hermione tried to use the time as efficiently as they could. This meant they were usually to be found researching in the library or reading in the common room, something that finally put an end to the slight remains of Harry's and Ron's friendship. With Ron being distracted by Lavender and Harry not wanting to goof off pointlessly with him anymore, they slowly drifted apart. By the time December came, they were not much more than just team-mates anymore.
About a week after the match, after class had ended for the day, Ginny stormed into the common and violently flopped herself down on the couch next to Hermione, jostling her. Looking up from the huge tome on her lap, Hermione elbowed Harry on her other side, and went right back to an interesting chapter about the numerological properties of zero.
Looking up as well, Harry leaned forward and beamed a smile at the fuming girl on the other side of the couch. "Any interesting new ones, Goforit?" he chuckled from the safety of his seat behind his girlfriend.
"Oh stuff it, Potter," Ginny huffed in reply. She had to bear some ridicule for being a randy drunk, especially new names for her popping up continuously.
"I, for one, am still particularly fond of 'Githimdone'," Hermione remarked without looking up. Ginny's glare found her, but soon targeted Harry, who had foolishly voiced his approval.
"Don't give me that look," Harry chuckled. "It's your own fault, and it could have been a lot worse if I had reacted differently," he scolded her lightly.
Ginny deflated slightly as he put her straight. "I know, but it grating on my nerves," she moaned. "I swear, I'm never going to touch alcohol again!" she stated once more. She already had given that vow in an emotional and teary talk to Hermione right after the hangover had passed. As far as she was concerned, this was her first and last try to drown her sorrows.
"You haven't heard the worst," Harry replied. "After lunch, someone tried to be very creative within our earshot," he scowled. It turned into a smile as Ginny bristled and demanded a name and details.
"I'm not telling, and I won't repeat what he said, but rest assured he's been punished," Harry said, eliciting a snort from Hermione. After Ginny rose an eyebrow questioningly, he chose to satisfy her curiosity. Partly. "Hermione here hit him with a surreptitious jinx she got from the Black library. He'll probably be praying for death already, but be too embarrassed to get help."
Ginny turned her attention to Hermione, who smiled, but said nothing as she continued to read her book. Ginny cleared her throat, and then once more, but Hermione kept on reading, stringing her nosy friend on.
"Please?" Ginny wheedled. Hermione's smile increased a few watts, and she gave one simple statement, while turning the page.
"Jala-pee-neo jinx."
Cringing, Ginny considered justice done.
"Don't worry about the people mouthing off, it will soon be over," Harry consoled her. "Your brother is seen all over the castle trying to suck Lavender's face off. With such a target, your slight blunder will soon be yesterday's news," he said. Ginny hoped that he was right, and that it soon would be forgotten. By everyone, but her...
ooOOoo
Shortly afterwards, Ginny renounced dating completely, after some seventh year Ravenclaw invited her to the 'Three Broomsticks' for the mid-November Hogsmeade visit. It turned out that he had less pure motives and tried to get her drunk enough for his plans, which earned him a follow-up date with a couple of bat boogies while Ginny stormed off to the castle. Another teary session with Hermione followed, and the next day, the boy was found stuck upside down to the wall near the Ravenclaw dorm, in only his boxers, with 'date rapist' painted across his chest.
For some reason, Hermione showed pity on Ron - and Lavender at the same time - and didn't tag them them with the nickname, like she had planned to. Harry wasn't sure if this was due to the fact that there were already enough derogatory names flying around or mere pity because their kissing was really that pathetic.
The rest of December was also uneventful, nearly bland, as everybody was studying frantically for the end of term while the snow and cold prevented any sort of excursion outside. Well, not really uneventful, because when Hermione went into her normal study overdrive, Harry invented the study point system.
This meant that Hermione could buy points equal to a half hour of study by performing various acts. His basic sheet started out with a single point for a blow job and some points for various other things - Hermione couldn't help being herself and turned the simple sheet Harry had scribbled on, into a huge scroll with hundreds of colour coded things to do and options that could be combined, which could send a porn actor into a panic.
Since the only real safe time for longer, really point-worthy things were the infamous shagging Tuesday hours, Hermione once again proved her competitive streak by drawing up exquisite plots for that day, to maximise her score to last for the rest of the week.
Sadly, someone else seemed to have discovered the Room of Requirement, too, since it was frequently occupied and unavailable. Still, between the times it was available and the help of an invisible cloak and the Marauder's map to get Harry into a secluded spot, most of the days were filled with short, but randy encounters to keep her point account topped off. Harry one time joked that her average sperm content over the day exceeded his own, but hurried to add that he was not even close to complaining about that.
So while everyone else could only see that Hermione spent most of the day in the library studying, while Harry only joined her for a few hours a day, Harry in fact had the time of his life.
Nonetheless, the public image of Hermione abandoning Harry for her studies led to one person having ideas above her station…
*** December 21st, Hogwarts Express ***
"...in the end, I had to stick that stupid bint to the ceiling to make her back off. Honestly, the nerve!" Hermione huffed as she told the others the tale.
Neville was sitting on the floor of the compartment, laughing, having slid from his seat. Luna had joined him there, laughing less hard, but using the opportunity to cuddle with the boy. They had spent a great time at Slughorn's Christmas Party, where Luna had worn mistletoe as hair ornament, and used that as an excuse to kiss Neville the whole night long. She was currently wearing a purple lip balm to deal with the chafing, but she smiled nonetheless.
"She really tried to slip Harry a love potion?" Ginny asked incredulously. "I never knew what a bloody cow Romilda was. But what has that to do with Ron ending up in the hospital wing for a whole day?"
Harry stifled a laugh at that. "Well, that was how we found out about the potion; Romild... The Bint," he corrected himself after a fierce glare from Hermione "had handed me a Christmas present when I passed her on the way to my dorm. Turned out to be full of cauldron cakes, which I despise," he continued, being interrupted at this point by an indignant snort from Hermione. She was still peeved that The Bint didn't even know that much about Harry, but still tried to snatch him from her.
"Anyway, I thought about being nice to Ron, and left them on his bed. When we came back, the whole common room was talking about how Ron infuriated Lavender by serenading about R-The Bint to her, until she hexed him so badly that he had to be taken to Pomfrey. Turned out he was filled to the brim with love potion, though. Took Pomfrey a potion to neutralize and a salve to remove the boils from his groin, before she sent 'Won-Won' and the frantically apologising Lavender back to the tower."
By the time he finished, Neville and Luna were only able to make yapping noises from the floor, and Ginny was laughing tears at the picture of Poppy no-nonsensically massaging a salve onto 'tiny Ron'. Dabbing her eyes with a hanky, Ginny sputtered another question between gales of laughter. "Brilliant... but that... can't have taken... long...Why the whole... day... then?"
Harry had to fight the laughter to continue telling, while Hermione alternated between glaring and bursting into laughter. "Well, Lavender was desperate to apologise to her Won-Won for her reaction after she found out. Being smooth as he is, Won-Won thought this would be the perfect time to blackmail her into going a step further. She took exception to his suggestions of a proper apology. Pomfrey had to brew a batch of special healing potions to deal with all the damage her knee caused," Harry ended in tears of laughter, while Hermione had to cling to him to keep on her seat.
Neville had to actually visit the healer the next day, having hurt something by laughing so hard.
ooOOoo
Everybody was happy as they left the train at Kings Cross after the long ride. Harry and Neville, the latter one still clutching his sore belly from the laughter, helped the girls to get their trunks from the overhead rafters, before all left the carriage and the train. Hermione and Harry had their trunks already shrunk since they had planned to have Hermione side-along them both to Grimmauld place.
Their friends Neville and Luna had bid their goodbyes soon after, as they went to meet Neville's Grandma. Neville was especially eager to present his girlfriend to her, but Harry would bet that the stern woman would not be overly pleased with the girl with lilac lipstick. Knowing that it was in fact a potion to heal her lips from the over-long session of kissing her grandson probably wouldn't help things. Harry would bet that Luna would mention this fact within the first ten seconds.
Saying goodbye to Ginny, both checked for the trunks in their pockets, and Hermione laid her hand into Harry's elbow. While Hermione turned expertly, Harry noticed a sharp jerk, very different to the usual feel of apparition; which was more like being squeezed. While Hermione lost contact to him and vanished, Harry found himself face to face, or better face to bun with the one head smaller Weasley matron, which was already yelling at him at the top of her voice.
"What are you thinking, running away like that and not telling anybody! We were running all over the country looking for you, and then you go on and mouth off at the Headmaster? I didn't raise you like that…"
Harry was on the verge of blowing up at her as she continued yapping and yelling at him, but a short look at a nearly crying Ginny made him stop and roll his eyes in her direction with a smirk. This had the wanted effect of calming Ginny down, while it had the side-effect of having Molly slap him.
"And don't roll your eyes at me, young man! I…"
With a short burst of wandless magic, Harry had Molly petrified. This turned out to be redundant, since Hermione had just reappeared a few moments before and just did the same. Hermione was just as shocked as he was, so both stood there for a moment without saying anything, trying to come up with appropriate words, but failing. Then, Harry gave the thoroughly shocked, but quickly turning spitting mad Ginny, a wan smile and went over to Hermione. This time, they managed to disparate undisturbed.
Sighing, Harry let himself fall into the couch at the entrance hall of Grimmauld Place twelve. He rubbed his head, trying to forget the incident on the platform, as he lamented, "Why can't I just get a break? Why couldn't I just go with Remus and Tonks, instead? I bet they had a fun ride."
*** December 21st, Hogwarts Lake ***
"Damn it, Remy! Can't anything go smooth on this bloody ride?" Tonks cursed as she saw the Giant Squid again trying to get a grip on the submersion shields of the Revenge.
They had a terrible ride over to Britain from the island. At first, they were hit by an exceptionally late, but nonetheless fierce Hurricane a week after they had left the island eastbound, and were blown all the way back and more, to the American coast, where they decided to head north to get out of the Hurricane belt. They lost over a week to that freak storm, but the crew took it in stride, it needed more than a storm to damage the Revenge. Remus did miss some of it, spending that time in the brig, the ship's jail - consisting of some cages in the lowest deck, which proved to be a good place for his transformation.
Then, they sailed up north to Canada and Greenland, then turning east to set course for Iceland. Oh yeah, that name did fit. Tonks didn't pack for that kind of weather, but transfigured some clothes and kept warming charms around her all the time. Still, she was afraid she would never feel warm again, while the men ran around in little more than padded jackets. She was sure they did so only to mock her. Needless to say, they lost another two weeks to that detour.
When they got caught in some pack ice before even really leaving Greenland, she had the opportunity to blow of some steam. Swearing and cursing the paint off the ship, she single-handedly blasted them a channel through at least two miles of the ice when she lost her temper over being stuck in ice, before she got exhausted and let a different crew member take over. It lost them another three days to cross the ice patch, but at least the crew had ceased ribbing her about her warm clothing. Remus also missed that outburst being curled up in the brig.
Near Iceland, Tonks had flown into a near homicidal rage when some Kabautermen, small ship kobolds, had decided they liked the ship better than the fishermen's boats and snuck aboard while they took over provisions in a small magical settling in a fjord near Árborg. Sadly, they had noticed the infection only after the creatures had half a day to wreak havoc in Tonks' wardrobe. Most of the clothes were not salvageable, especially after Tonks had blasted the creatures to smithereens. The sailors started to give Tonks a wide berth after that.
Finally, they reached Scotland, and went into submerged mode to get through the underwater passageway to get to Hogwarts. Thankfully, the way in there had been charted long ago, and it took the crew little fuss to navigate it. In the end, they arrived at Hogwarts on the 18th of December, instead of early November.
Only to run into an overly active giant squid that for some reason took a liking to the submerged ship. They had planned to swim up using bubble-head and warming charms, melting a hole into the ice and then freezing the surface again to hide the traces. The men would then lodge in London, taking some days off until Christmas, when they could get sent home by Harry.
This was now impossible as the giant squid was cuddling the boat for a whole day now, and they didn't really want to swim past it in the agitated state it was if they didn't have to. The alternative was bringing the ship to the surface, which would be a risky move and hard to conceal from prying eyes.
But Tonks knew that if that effing squid wasn't gone by evening or, Merlin beware, started humping the ship, she would take her chances.
"I wish I were with Harry!" Tonks lamented. "He probably had a fun ride."