Chapter 21: The time of giving, and giving, and giving...
On December 23rd, Harry sent the sailors back to the island. Most of them were rather happy to get back into the warm climate of the Caribbean. He couldn't fault them for that, but they had decided within the group that they would celebrate the holidays here in Britain, since it didn't feel right to have it on a beach with palm trees around.
Aggravating was the fact that Remus would undergo his transformation during the days, which meant he wasn't transportable by portkey right now, and Tonks wouldn't leave him here. So he would spend the night before Christmas in his basement cell, have a slow Christmas Day with them, before they all would leave and spend Boxing Day on the island, along with the twins, who would spend Christmas itself at the Burrow.
ooOOoo
"Alright guys, everyone ready?" Tonks asked after she had finished her breakfast with a dainty burp, if such a thing was possible. "I want to be early for our shopping, before the big rush sets in," she said to the assembled Grangers and Harry.
Harry finished his tea and wiped some crumbs off his trousers. "Ready when you are, Tonks. How about Remus; will he join us?"
Tonks gave a little frown before shaking her head in denial. "He's feeling grumpy already, and wants us to go without him."
The others weren't really surprised by that as they nodded their understanding. Cruel fate has made tonight the full moon and ruined Christmas for Remus, again.
It took them not very long to dress up for the Alley, after all, the warming charms in their cloaks made what otherwise would be called a brass monkey weather only slightly uncomfortable.
They entered the Alley through the Leaky Cauldron, stepping through the still nearly empty pub, greeting Tom only in passing as he tried to talk them into a breakfast.
Stepping into the Alley, they hurried by the cauldron shop and the apothecary, ignoring the few street peddlers trying to sell them amulets and other protections. Surprisingly, Harry didn't give the Quidditch shop more than a brief glance at the window. His big love was the flying, not the game, and since there was still the Firebolt in the window, he knew that there was nothing of interest in there.
He had a brief stop at Eeylops, to fill up on owl treats for Hedwig, and then they started their tour through the shops in earnest. Since the adults already had most of their shopping done and the kids hadn't been unprepared, they only needed a few items, each.
Making a few stops at the various shops, they made their way through the Alley. Hermione had proposed that Flourish & Blott's would be their last stop, since she could accept that no one wanted to be loaded down with books all day.
Finally, they arrived at Hermione's second most sacred site of worship, and without losing a second, a brown-haired tornado rushed from shelf to shelf, leaving the occasional empty spot here and there as Hermione maxed out Harry's promise to let her expand the rather one-sided - mostly about killing in creative ways while preventing getting killed yourself - Black Library at leisure. Harry took it in stride and went to the 'Runes' section to browse for reference guides on warding and enchantments for a project he was working on, since he already visited Oxford Street in Soho the previous day with Tonks to get Hermione's present. He grinned at the memory that Tonks had spent a long time herself, browsing the merchandise as he selected his gift and had it packed, and immediately left again after she escorted him back to Black Manor.
His browsing netted him two books, The Standard Book of Household Enchantments, and That wouldn't work, would it?
The first was really interesting, showing all the practical rune work to make bathrooms, kitchen, and basically everything one might need in the household. Of course, the Black Library didn't contain much that wasn't inherently dark magic or was deemed 'dirty commoner's work', so such a book wasn't present there. The other book was exactly what Harry had searched for. It was a rather new work about what funny effects and unexpected, but interesting side effects certain rune combinations would have. He found a pattern he would need for his project on the forty-third page, and was grinning like a Weasley twin.
ooOOoo
"Hey, Harry!" Hermione greeted him as she started to browse his section. "Found something?"
Harry lifted his two books in reply. "I got just these two. How many did you get?"
Hermione blushed as he asked her this, making Harry laugh out loud. "Do we need a lorry to haul them home?" He chuckled, getting his arm smacked in reply, making him chuckle even harder. Oh, how he loved it when she got miffed and catty with him.
"You know, I feel a bit bad about it," she told him with a cute frown. "You got only two books and I get a full library out of it, and all on your tab."
"It's not that bad, I can read all of them too, so it's okay," Harry said as he reached over and squeezed her shoulder supportively before starting to massage it softly. Hermione leaned into his touch and let her cheek glide over his hand before responding.
"Still, I feel bad about it. Maybe I could make it up to you, Milord," she said, smiling suggestively at him.
"Any interesting offers in mind?" Harry replied with his eyebrows in full waggle, causing Hermione to snort with laughter.
"Well, how about I fulfill a wish of yours?" she offered, and quickly added, "But no sex in here - my parents are out there," as Harry's leer was about to split his head open.
"Spoilsport," Harry grumbled. "But you would agree to this if your parents weren't around, wouldn't you?"
"Harry, you should know me. I've been dreaming about doing it in a library for as long as I knew about sex," Hermione admitted with a coy smile.
Trying to get more of a rise out of her, Harry leaned in, whispering "And how about doing it in the Hogwarts Library?" in her ear, renewing his laughter as she couldn't keep the small moan this thought had caused her contained.
"I might even be apt to make it happen," Harry chuckled, keeping on messing with her head, and receiving Hermione's full attention, including the patented deer-in-headlight look as she tried to process that new info.
"But only without a silencing charm," Harry's voice registered with her during her considerations.
Hermione's eyes nearly hit Harry as they bulged out of their sockets. "Are you mad?" She hissed at him in a hushed tone. "You know what a screamer I am," she continued to berate him, but then noticed his leer. "You're planning on that, aren't you? I'm not sure if I should hate you for that," she hissed again, but this time with her eyes glistening with something else.
"We'll do it on my terms or not at all," he said, his hand stopping to knead her shoulder and grabbing her hair instead, pulling her head back and forcing her to look up at him, just strong enough that it didn't hurt. "You are mine to play with - and I would bet a shag at the Leaving Feast that you are in dire need of clean panties already," he noted as she smiled at him, before releasing her hair and planting a kiss on her forehead while caressing her smiling cheek.
"But for now, I suggest a simple deal," he told her with a high-wattage smile. "To pay for your books, you hand over your clothes."
You could have knocked Hermione over with a feather as she stared at him in shock, not believing her own ears.
"You know, at first I thought a one-for-one deal would be fair, but then, you might not even own that many clothes, don't you?" he continued talking as if he were oblivious to her surprise, teasing her, without knowing that he was not far off the mark, actually. "But I think one article for five books would be fair - how many do you have?"
He spaced out for a moment when he heard the answer. That was a lot of books. "Wow," he uttered in awe. "Do you even wear that much?"
Hermione had to think a bit. Today, she wore a plaited skirt, a woollen pantyhose, knickers, and bra. She had a single pullover over her shirt, and then her shoes and the cloak. Even if she counted the shoes as two items, it wasn't enough, by far. She shook her head at Harry.
Harry also shook his head, but in mirth. "I am willing to negotiate. You may keep your shoes and cloak, but only if you cooperate and start quickly before I change my mind," he whispered, his excitement showing in his thick, throaty voice and his contagious grin. He waved his hand in a gesture she hoped meant that he had cast a notice me not charm.
"Mum will be so jealous when she hears about this," a grinning Hermione whispered under her breath, as she undid her cloak and reached for the hem of her pullover, while trying not to blush too hard with her own arousal.
Harry couldn't help but smile when she said that, but his smile fell abruptly when she added, chuckling softly, "and Ginny will probably faint."
"Wait! You tell Ginny about the things we do?" Harry demanded confused, not believing what he had just heard.
"What? No!" Hermione squeaked in panic as she became aware that she had just slipped her tongue again. Her fingernails nearly tore holes into the fabric of her pullover as she stiffened in shock.
"Do you really have to lie about it, as well?" Harry said in a pained voice that broke her heart.
She threw herself at him, hugging him so hard that her arms hurt as she started to apologize. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to upset you, it's just a thing girls do," she said, hoping he wouldn't be too mad at her.
"You said it was a thing only between you and your Mum! I kinda accepted it when you included Tonks in that circle. But Ginny? I thought you were only teasing her, not giving her full details!" he demanded, pushing her back at arm's length.
"Well," she started with a wince, coming to realize how bad she had messed up. "We kind of started talking about that after the 'Tuesday incident'," she confessed.
Harry sighed at this. It was bad enough that she had caught them doing that, but that Hermione had started gossiping with her, too? Hermione knew as well as him that Ginny was liable to spout things in the heat of conversations if goaded right.
"Luna, too?" he asked warily, and sighed in relief when Hermione shook her head frantically.
"So you tell practically every female I know what we do in the sack?" he said with an edge to his voice that made Hermione wince even more than she had before.
"Not in detail, I only tell them the most basic stuff," she quickly clarified, lying badly. "It's not that bad, really!" she said, hoping that she could dismiss his concern.
"So it's not really bad that all these women know what we do in private?" He demanded to know, and threw his hands up in the air as she only replied by looking at her shoes.
"Cool! I think it's ok then if I talked about what we do to Remus or the twins? Or maybe with Ron when he grows up and apologizes? Come to think of it, Neville and Luna would certainly like to hear about it," he ranted, pacing to and fro in their secluded space.
Hermione blanched as she heard that. This would be horrible. The twins and Remus would tease the shit out of her, but Ron? The scorn would reach lethal levels if he knew about Hermione's submissive tendencies. Neville would never say a word, but Luna would probably ask her conversationally about anal sex during dinner in the Great Hall.
"Would you like me to tell them?" Harry asked again, glaring at her. "As you said, there's nothing to it, really," he added.
"Please don't!" she said, hanging her head in shame.
"Come on, why not? After all, you told so many people already, maybe we should start doing it in front of them? Just to be sure they know everything. Luna would probably take pictures and send them to the Quibbler for a column or something. And I bet the twins would have some good advice for us," he said cruelly.
Hermione felt herself flush at the thought of doing it with an audience, but finally understood why he was upset. Although he was very open with her, he still was a very private person, and valued his privacy above all. She once again had charged away with something, taking her opinion as the only one possible and had run roughshod all over him.
"I - I'm sorry. I... I'm sorry," she stuttered as she felt close to tears. "Are you mad at me?" she asked him with a very small voice.
Harry gave her a long look. It wasn't really how he liked it to be, but he had come to accept that this was how the relationship between her and her mum worked. Well, and Tonks, who was something like an older sister for him. He couldn't really say that he understood it, but then, he was male. The urge to brag wasn't unknown to him, and he assumed that this gossiping-slash-chatting was something alike. If he had any close male friends his age that weren't stuck in perpetual puberty, he might have done the same.
"No, of course not," he said. "Not really, anyway," he corrected himself.
"I have made enough of an ass of me the last time I stomped off in anger -" he had to pause at this as she hugged him once again, glad that they were alright. "But you know that some things are going to change," he finished after his lungs weren't compressed too much anymore.
Hermione frowned into his shoulder at this. "I know. I'll stop talking to anybody about us," she accepted reluctantly, her tone of voice clearly expressing the pout she wore.
"While I appreciate the gesture, you are wrong, honey-bunch," he said, relinquishing in her wince at his endearment. She really hated these sickeningly sweet pet names, and even in bed, she only accepted dirty talk. But he knew she wouldn't dare reprimanding him now. "You see - Sweety, " he added in order to turn the knife in the wound, "I would never take these talks away from you and your mom. I know it means a lot to you both," he said, and hissed as he feared his ribs might break under Hermione's renewed onslaught.
"And what exactly do you want to change?" Hermione asked while still hugging him, only lighter. "Do you want me to tell them less?" she queried, looking at him to clarify his demand.
Harry gave her an evil smile. "Far from it, my little chatterbox. You are to talk as you wish, but afterwards, you will confess your transgressions, and accept your punishment, understood?" he proclaimed. At first Hermione blushed at this demand, but then, she happily agreed. After all, that was a win-win situation for her.
Giving Harry a last peck on the cheek, she released him and turned to return to her shopping, but Harry held her back on the wrist as she tried to leave.
"Aren't you forgetting something?" He said with a smirk as she whirled around to look at him.
At her confused look, he chuckled. "You still owe me for the books, don't you?"
***Christmas morning***
Harry was lying on the bed, exhausted. 'I guess we made up for all the time we missed in Hogwarts,' he thought as he slowly sat up and vanished the ropes dangling from the ceiling of their four-poster, chuckling at the memory for what all a wingardium leviosacharm was good for. Or Hermione leviosa, in that case.
The flush of a toilet reminded him where Hermione had gone.
Harry had to smile at the thought that if anybody had told him a year ago that Harry would call a bound and naked Hermione names or demand her to beg him for sex; they'd have found pieces of that person for weeks. And now, not only had he done that, but Hermione was actually happy that he did so, he thought with a smile.
He proudly thought back on the last few moments, when he had actually managed to make Hermione lose control over language. And she had proven a very wide knowledge of topic related words just before that.
'She should take extra time washing her mouth,' he thought with a choked snort. Who would have thought that 'Miss Manners' Granger would use such words when she got really riled up?
Life had certainly taken an upswing these days.
Absentmindedly, he started waving his fingers idly, humming a song that just came to his mind, ignoring the squeaked call of his name from the bathroom as he got lost in the feeling of the rising and falling tune of his song.
"Either stop that or do more," Hermione demanded as she returning from the loo, walking a bit tenderly, probably by reason of his birthday present still attached to her.
Harry was growing very fond of runes, the prototype they tested back then was good, but that final version turned out better than he anticipated, with the device being controlled by the ring he wore on his index. And it would deactivate if he fell unconscious - Hermione insisted in that feature.
"You still need to be punished for your babbling," Harry smiled evilly at her, as she laid down beside him and snuggled into his side. To underline his point, he wandlessly set his present to a very soft vibration, one that Hermione actually found very pleasant. As far as punishment goes, that was really fine with her. She rubbed her wrists gingerly as she cuddled into his side.
"Are you alright?" Harry asked, looking a bit concerned at her.
"I'm fine, just a bit sore," she told him with an exhausted, but happy smile. In lieu of an answer, Harry reached out for her, and four soft caresses with wandless magic later, the slight bruises left by the ropes were gone.
"Thank you. Now can you get over with punishing me properly so I can get - what the hell are you doing?" She asked as he stood up and started dressing.
"Why, I'm getting ready for breakfast. You should, too. The others are probably already waiting for us," he grinned evilly.
"No! Not that! They might notice!" Hermione gasped as her still foggy mind realized what he intended to do. "I'll do anything instead! Anything!" she pleaded.
"No chance," Harry smirked. "I can barely stand anymore," he said with mirth glistening in his eyes, increasing the settings on the stone a bit.
"B-But…"Hermione hissed in surprise. "They might notice," she protested weakly, ignoring the fluttery feeling the thought alone caused her.
"Not if you act well. Remus would know, but he's still out from the full moon yesterday, and will join us tomorrow. And you'll probably tell the 'girls' later, anyway," he winked at her.
Hermione had to smile at this against her will. Something like that had lead to today's events. A repeat wouldn't exactly be unwelcome.
"Either this, or I'll 'Tuesday' you for a whole day," he said in a voice that left no doubt of who was in charge. Hermione immediately shook her head, yelling, "NO!"
"Of course, you can still beg me for 'butterscotch', but if you don't, you'll be dressed in five," he said, reminding her of the safeword.
"In your dreams, Captain," Hermione smiled confidently at him. She wouldn't chicken out at this - she would show him what self control meant. 'I'm Hermione Granger, after all!'
ooOOoo
Half an hour later, a much more humble, not to mention very hot and bothered Hermione was contemplating that in some cases, it was better to accept defeat and surrender instead of facing humiliation. Harry had been playing his song all through the breakfast, varying the vibrations permanently, not giving her any chance to adjust.
All the time, she was constantly writhing in her seat, crossing her legs this and that way, biting her lips to keep silent. She even had to tell her mother that she felt a bit under the weather to keep her from asking constantly about how she felt because of the feverish look Hermione sported during the meal.
To add insult to injury, Tonks was grinning at her, inconspicuously to all others, but very noticeable to Hermione, giving the 'tortured' girl glances with a knowing twinkle in her eyes. This began shortly after the 'poor' Hermione had spilt her tea for the second time, masking it with a badly acted cough much too late to conceal anything, as Harry used a short full-power burst to goad her further on.
'Busted!' was the only coherent thought Hermione wasted on this, she had bigger problems right now and would have had to tell her later anyways, on Harry's newest standing order. She just hoped that Tonks didn't watch and tell, or in other words, enjoyed the show enough not to bust them.
Thank Merlin, or maybe due to Harry seizing the occasion, the twins had just slipped her parents another kind of pastry, the sixth or so - this time Bunny Bagels, making them hop around the floor as the cutest kind of angora bunnies for a few moments - when that spill happened, or they would have noticed, too.
Slowly, the sense of inevitability set in. She had one short reprieve when she could use laughter as cover when the twins presented her and Harry two garishly neon pink and pea-green plush parrots they had charmed to talk pirate slogans. Of course, these comments were completely hilarious, but she was too distracted to appreciate those properly, since she knew she wouldn't be able to keep it together any longer. Her breaths were coming in bursts already, and only the fact that everyone had been roaring in laughter at the parrots allowed her glowing face to stay unnoticed in the crowd until now.
A few seconds ago, Harry had taken the parrot's cry of "Avast, scumbags, bring her in the wind; whip her through the sea!" as incentive to wave his hand idly at her, setting the rune stone to full speed while handing her his public present with an Cheshire grin.
Knowing that she couldn't hold back much longer, she quickly ripped the paper open and let the present fall to the ground without really looking at it. With a loud yell of "OhmygodIloveit!" she threw herself around Harry's neck and let herself be consumed by the fire in her loins. Holding on him tightly so she didn't buck, she sighed into his neck as she felt the vibrations cease. Waiting for a moment for the worst to wear off, she finally turned back to face the others, who all laughed out loud and teased her for her excitement.
"Damn, Hermione!" Margret said as she curiously had taken a look at the present, finding a 100 pound gift voucher for Ann Summers. "I love lingerie as much as the next woman, but don't you think you are a tad excessive here?"
*** Boxing Day ***
"Wotcher, kids," Tonks greeted from the breakfast table, buttering her toast. She was wearing only a bathrobe and a bright smile, her shoulder length hair glowing canary yellow. Harry assumed that she had gotten her present earlier, as had Remus.
He gallantly held out the seat for Hermione, who sat with a wink and smile, reaching for some scones. She had become addicted to Winky's special recipe, and already made plans to increase her training accordingly to not gain weight.
"Hello Tonks," they chorused and began breakfast in earnest.
After Tonks had finished her tea - milk, no sugar, she wasn't for the sweet stuff - she watched the other two clowning around like teens in love while she reached for the prophet. Harry was feeding Hermione pieces of toast with strawberry jam, deliberately missing and smearing her nose, at the time Henry and Margret arrived. Remus followed a few seconds later, his hair still slightly damp from a shower.
The twins were nowhere to be seen, and probably still in hibernation mode after last night.
Somehow, they got themselves into a drinking contest with Henry later in the evening. With his bigger mass and their relative lack of experience, he had easily drunk them under the table. Henry seemed not to have any problems, in fact, he was grinning like a schoolboy, along with Margret.
"Any news?" Remus asked as he started to shovel lots of bacon onto his plate. Being a werewolf had some effect on one's food preferences.
"Nothing overly interesting - some attacks, but the ministry is completely in control, yada, yada, Fudge, this - Fudge that," Tonks recited in a sing-song, changing her hair colour at every other word. Then she beamed an ear-splitting smile - she really did, Margret choked on her tea when she noticed it - and spoke to Harry.
"Boy, would I love to see his face when he hears about what we're going to do this afternoon! Five on him getting hopping mad and trying to get you arrested on the spot."
Harry smiled serenely at this idea. "I bet he will try, but you know better than me that there's no one he could order to do so, not after his performance so far. It's a miracle that he was able to cling to his job. The Aurors are under firm control of Scrimgeur, and if Fudge tries to help his old friends and sponsors, he will be out of the Ministry faster than you can say 'Quidditch'," he said, and Hermione shook her head as she remembered where she had heard that quote before.
"So you are going to apply for the NEWTs and the Mastery, both, today? Why not wait until the NEWTs are done - being a bit presumptuous, aren't you?" Remus noted between some coffee and some scrambled eggs.
"Because there is a four months wait period for the memories to be evaluated, and we don't want to return in late August for the tests, that would ruin the summer. I already submitted the forms and cleared the leaves with McGonagall. After a bit of a tug-o-war with the board about the date, McGonagall intervened, and so, in order to not unduly interrupt their schooling, Harry and Hermione will both take their Defence NEWTs on May third in the morning, during the Hogsmeade trip. Afterwards, Harry will go to the Mastery board, show them a wandless spell and be out in five minutes, ten if they sign slowly," Tonks snapped back, elongating her nose to nearly ten inches before she thumbed it at Remus, causing the whole table to erupt in laughter.
"Also, we are getting tired of the Headmaster's procrastination. He's playing his waiting game again, holding onto his knowledge and trying to get his way," Harry spoke between bites.
"I told you that he would do this," Remus remarked sardonically. "He always was the one to control the game, and never showing even the slightest bit of his hand until he deemed it necessary."
"If that is so, he is losing his edge," Hermione stated. "Or we are finally on to his antics, and he's too old to adapt. Anyway, we have found a weak spot and have asked some questions that caused him quite a bit of unease. He has slipped enough that he can't keep stuff from us for much longer."
Harry nodded as he took a sip of tea. "And that's why he's avoiding us. I don't believe for a moment that he's that busy with politics." Taking a bite out of his toast, he made a short pause. "Maybe kicking over this particular anthill will spur him into action."
Remus gave the only answer possible. He shrugged and continued his breakfast.
ooOOoo
Later into their breakfast, and out of the corner of his eye, Remus noticed Henry chuckle and check his clock, again. He had done this all the time, but now, he was checking every few seconds, while Margret dreamily smiled into her cup, fighting giggles. "Would you care to share?" Remus inquired curiously, bringing the whole table's attention to them.
Henry just raised his hand to stave off the question as he started counting loud. "Five-four-three-two-one..."
At this moment, a cacophony of ringing noises was heard from upstairs, followed by screams and a loud thud that seemed to have an echo. Then, there was silence, and everybody at the table turned to Hermione's parents, who were calmly eating breakfast, and taking nips from their cups with serene smiles.
Henry put his coffee down and took some toast. Dabbing his knife in the butter, he absentmindedly talked to no one in particular. "I have no idea how all those alarm clocks found their way into the twin's room," he said, spreading the butter.
"And neither do I know how the two low side-desks from the couch assembly in the library made it in there," added Margret while she expertly beheaded her hard-boiled egg.
By then, Henry was already spreading some marmalade on the toast, and briefly paused before he took a bite. "We might never solve the mystery of how those two tables got placed over their pillows, with those alarm clocks right on top," he ruminated, ending with a shrug and a large bite, chewing happily while everybody else, sans his wife, was gaping at him.
"Oh, by the way," Margret suddenly asked after a spoonful of egg. "You never told me, which one did you decide on?"
Henry smirked evilly as he finished his toast, stringing the others along.
ooOOoo
Up in their room, the red-haired troublemakers were sprawled in their beds, their hands pressed to their hurting foreheads, the tables flung across the room in anger. The localized pain was enough to drown out the hangover, for now, not that this was any relief.
Finally, they were able to remove their hands from the impact spots, where both were sporting rather impressive bruises, which certainly would develop into rather marvellous lumps.
"Ew!" Fred groaned as he noticed that the foggy sight he was currently experiencing wasn't entirely due to the hangover, but also due to a liberal amount of whipped cream smeared all over his face and hands, for some strange reason.
"That's gross," he said as he wiped his hands clean, and reached for his wand to remove the stuff. It left him still feeling kind of sticky, but at least moderately clean.
"Yeah," George agreed. "But not without merit, however it was done," he grumbled, as he turned in his bed, relieved that they had only gotten his brother. His brows furrowed as his eyes fell on a bowl of water placed on a stool right next to his bed, and slowly, he became aware of a certain smell...
***Downstairs, the kitchen***
"EEEW!" The cry filtered down from the upper floor, turning Henry's smirk into a broad smile. "Both," he replied, his eyes sparkling with mirth, as Margret started giggling madly on his shoulder.
"And remind me to charge the screwdriver, or I won't..." he told his wife, as a loud yell interrupted him.
***Twin's bedroom***
Disgusted, George had jumped up and taken a look at his soiled bed and pyjamas. He had no idea how they had done this to him, but that was irrelevant right now. Wanting nothing more than to shower quickly, he rushed for the door.
Much to his frustration, the doorknob didn't turn, but came off completely when he tried to pull the door open. With a interesting variety of curses on his lips, he went to pick up his wand. Returning to the door, he tapped the door once, and hissing the incantation to open the latch. Trying to pry the door open, he noticed that it seemed to be stuck. Casting a Finite on the door to cancel the supposed sticking charms, he tried to open it, but failed again.
Realizing that it was physically stuck, George lost his patience. He stood one step back and used a summoning charm to tear it open. When the door flew open with a bang, he had but a moment to notice the bucket in the complicated rope cradle swinging his direction.
***Downstairs, the kitchen***
All eyes were glued to Henry's face as he valiantly fought down the chuckles at the squeal coming from upstairs a moment earlier. "Well, they can skip the cold shower, now," he noted, and then started to explain to the others what just had happened.
***Upstairs***
Slowly, Fred and George had advanced through the corridor towards the bathroom, casting detection spells at each and every step they took, and ignoring the laughter from downstairs, for now.
Carefully testing the bathroom's door, they jumped aside as they pushed the door open. Waiting a few seconds with nothing happening, they finally dared to take a peek into the room. At first glance, it looked normal, but they were reluctant to believe this image. Casting another round of detection charms, they slowly entered the room, with George checking the door handle for function before they closed it to finally clean up. Of course not after having checked every single item within the room for lingering magic.
After a quick shower for George and a wash-up at the sink for Fred, both were feeling much better.
"You know, I'm rather impressed how they slipped us so many pranks without us noticing," Fred lamented as he picked up his toothbrush, and reaching for the toothpaste.
"In our defense, we aren't exactly in top condition, brother dear," George replied from his side of the double sink, just finishing some healing spells on his forehead, before holding his toothbrush out to his brother to daub it as well.
"We will retaliate after breakfast," Fred commented as he squeezed the tube for each of them and put it away after that.
"And a hangover cure," George added as they clinked their brushes together.
***downstairs, the kitchen***
Meanwhile, Henry had to raise his voice a little to drown out the yapping noises Harry made from where he had collapsed under the table, while Tonks was holding her cramping belly. The others were laughing nearly as hard as these two did, as Margret told them the story about how she had pranked back that jerk in university with her special recipe of Habanero-Menthol toothpaste.
"And you know the worst thing?" Margret asked them with tears in her eyes from remembering the incident. "The first reaction would be to rinse with water, and it only makes it worse," she said, at which Remus started a loud, howling belly laughter, which only intensified when two blood-curdling screams were heard from above.
ooOOoo
Ten minutes later, the twins were down at the table, nursing two huge jugs of milk under the snickers and giggles of the others, but happy to have the pain wear off.
With a pop, Dobby appeared and placed two glasses with a familiar looking greenish sludge in front of the two poor boys. Gladly, both of them downed the hangover cures to get rid of that part of their punishment for pranking the Grangers so hard.
They were already plotting their revenge when Dobby reappeared with their breakfast, hard-boiled eggs, already decapitated, scones and tea. While George reached for his cup, Fred started his meal with the egg, stabbing it with his spoon.
*pop*
All sounds ceased for a moment at the sight of Fred, his face the epitome of confusion as dried egg-yolk crumbs were all over his shirt, face and hair. Egg-white pieces were completing the picture as the boy sat petrified, his spoon still resting in the cratered remains of the egg. If someone were to look up, he would notice some bits of egg sticking to the ceiling, as well.
While all others were slumping from their seats in laughter, George carefully leaned away from his own egg.
Hermione's thoughts that the elves would not be pleased about this were shot down as Margret and Dobby exchanged smiles while Henry shot the house-elf a double thumbs-up. That little bugger was in on the joke!
After a long bout of laughter, Tonks couldn't resist to draw her wand and casting spells at the remaining egg, but coming up empty. The other inhabitants were as stunned with the result, or lack of.
"We Muggles do have our ways to retaliate, and most of them are undetectable by magic," Henry smirked at the twins, who finally got the message that the Grangers weren't as easy targets as they had believed.
ooOOoo
"Chop-chop! Get going, you two," Tonks nagged while Harry helped Hermione into her outer robes, winter weight. Remus was standing nearby, also already dressed for the British winter.
"Don't forget your scarf, Hermione!" Margret shouted from somewhere in the house, probably upstairs where Henry was dismantling the various traps they had set up, under the scrutiny of the twins. Harry already knew that this learning experience would make the twins only more dangerous. Merlin only knew - and even he might not - what these two would come up after that bit of inspiration.
"Yes, mum!" Hermione shouted back, without missing a beat, while she reached for her bobble cap, the scarf already secured around her neck. "As if I'd ever leave the house without it," she muttered under her breath as she shoved some loose strands of hair under the woolen headgear.
"Move now, talk later," Tonks chided. "I have an appointment with a beach I do not intend to miss!"
"Watch it, or you are going to miss me in the suit I picked up at Summer's," Tonks hissed when Remus chuckled at her words.
"Am I wrong to suppose it is tiny enough to be missed even while you are wearing it?" Harry joked, and subsequently bolted out of the door, choosing to rather wait out in the cold wind and drizzle than to face her wrath.
Tonks took a look at the door and promptly stripped off her cloak after the door fell shut. "Okay, I'll take a potty break while I wait until Potter breaks, and remembers that we wanted to floo to the Leaky Cauldron," she said, stalking off towards the bathroom.
ooOOoo
A bit later Harry, Hermione and their tutor couple made their way from the Cauldron to the Ministry for their short visit. They didn't meet many people out there on the streets, and even less once they made it through the telephone box entry. The days of and after the holidays always were slow, with only a rump crew to do the minimum of work needed to keep the cogs and wheels of the magical world turning.
After passing the obligatory wand check by some bored guard that barely took notice of them over his magazine, they headed into the Department of Education.
It took only a few moments to file their applications for NEWTs, but his application for the Mastery caused a bit of a stir.
"We're not supposed to do this on a rump crew," the girl at the counter spoke as Tonks handed her the bundle of parchment. When she had scanned the first page and noticed the name on the application, she blanched.
"I - I... This isn't right. Mister... Potter - he isn't even done with his NEWTS!" she stammered. "I have to reject this.
"You might not be familiar with the regulations," Tonks snarked at the girl who obviously was only an intern, "but according to the articles 5 to 9, which regulate the eligibility requirements for an applicant, he only needs to show these documents at the time of the board meeting."
"But..." the girl tried to retort, finding herself cornered by the practiced 'I'm an Auror - don't mess with me' stare of Tonks. Gulping involuntarily, she dashed off, stammering that she'll get an Auror to testify.
"Admit, you liked scaring that poor thing," Harry chuckled from behind.
"Hush, you. Be glad that someone is throwing her weight around to protect your interests," she replied without even bothering to turn around.
Before Harry had gathered the courage to comment on her weight, Harry was saved the repercussions by the girl, who returned with a female Auror.
"Tonks?" she said. "What the heck do need me for?"
"Sorry, Berthild - conflict of interest and all that codswallop, you know..."
"Well, then let's get this over with," the Auror replied while producing a vial. "I hope you are familiar with the procedure, for I have 'The leper of St. Giles' waiting in the office."
A bit later, Harry had the two memories extracted and placed into the vial under the supervision of the girl and the Auror, and given an oath to testify the veracity of the memory. Neither of the others had seen the memory, as it was considered private, and the first review would be the next day, since the commission wouldn't convene on a holiday.
Satisfied, the group left the Ministry, their thoughts already occupied with more tropical topics.
ooOOoo
Harry had a rough idea that the memory of the pureblood elite assembling to welcome Voldemort would cause some trouble, but he did completely underestimate that.
The standard procedure for a review for a Defence Mastery was that a board of three Masters went together into the memory to evaluate the performance. Usually, the Head of the Auror Corps was one of them.
When Master Auror Shacklebolt, who currently held that position, had seen that memory, he stayed just long enough to sign his part of the documents before he rushed to meet his boss. The ensuing loud discussion was soon the topic of many whispered conversations all over the Ministry. Rufus Scrimgeour, who seemed to have hopes to rise higher in the political circles, adamantly refused to put charges on any of the named persons, nor having them questioned under any circumstances. In most cases, they had nothing other than a name spoken by You-Know-Who, and he wasn't willing to put his future on the line with as little as that. After all, those people had the money, and that money would be needed if he wanted to rise any further. The only one that was properly identified was Malfoy, and he already had been pardoned for being involved in that mess, thanks to Fudge. Shacklebolt tried to talk some sense into his superior, but in the end he left the office in a blind rage, smashing the door so hard that it cracked.
As with any confidential information, it soon leaked to the press, and then the outrage spread into the population. The Daily Prophetsoon picked it up and demanded investigation into the political connections and money flows that these men were involved in, something that Fudge didn't like one bit.
Not that Harry knew, nor would have cared about that.
*** 29th December, Grimmauld Place #12, late evening. ***
With a flash, eight humans and two elves appeared in the study by means of portkey. Giggling and chuckling among each other, they separated from the pile of bodies that such a mass transport into a small room always caused. That study wasn't large enough for ten persons to stand comfortably in, let alone pop into existence.
Like always, the elves immediately popped away; they were told that nobody would blame them and certainly would not mind, but they felt uncomfortable with being sprawled over their masters.
Those two jumping away immediately had two advantages. First, it cleared up some space for the others to stand up; and secondly, refreshments would be available in a few seconds.
True to form, the two elves had already brought some drinks and snacks to the table by the time the group had entered the drawing room. Normally, they wouldn't have returned before start of term - nothing beats a New Year's Eve on a tropical island - but there was a traditional meeting between Henry and his brother's family that they attended every year on the 30th.
In order to be on time, they decided to spend the night in London, and the rest decided to come over to look at their shop, visit some friends or go shopping. While everybody sat and chit-chatted, Remus took care of the pile of Daily Prophets, in order to get up to date on the daily happenings in 'good 'ole Britain'.
After having read the five headlines, he gave a low whistle. "You really rocked the boat this time, Harry."
"Potter reveals memory of You-Know-Who's return!" He cited the first paper, holding the headline up for everyone to read.
"Prominent members of society involved in rebirth? Fudge denies."Was the next headline, showing Fudge on a press conference.
"Suspicions substantiated - list inside" Was the current headline, showing Fudge evading the reporters. True to their word, there was a list of names inside that not only conformed to the names Harry had heard from the Dark lord himself, but also to a list of the British wizarding 'Who's Who'.
The bantering continued till late in the evening.
*** The next evening ***
Margret never really got used to Grimmauld Place. No, not the house - the house was great. It was the way it dis- and reappeared when you left or approached it that made her nervous.
That counted double when she was already annoyed, like today. Henry's brother Frank was a unique character, and that was a good thing. He had the strange notion of thinking to be funny, while everyone else usually found him offensive, at best. He had such a caustic humour that he could teach vitriolic acid a thing or two, and the later it became, the more irritating he got.
That was exactly why Hermione didn't attend the annual meeting anymore. Ever since they found out she was a witch, the Grangers finally had the explanation for the multitude of strange things that happened during their visit with 'Uncle Frank'. Margret was impressed with the control Hermione had shown all these years by only breaking plates and dropping pictures. She knew that if shewere magical, they would find pieces of Frank for years!
Today, it was the good old classic. He commented on women, and their figures. His wife Sally was a woman twice Margret's weight at half her size. Of course, she had more tits than Margret - but they rested on her bulging belly! Only her love for Henry made her ignore his statement that she should take a second helping, so that she might 'grow up' a bit, like he used to call it. He really said 'grow up', as if a nearly forty year old woman could expect breast growth anymore!
Henry was walking next to his still fuming wife. He had taken her for a long walk through Kensington Gardens afterwards, like every year, to help her calm down while she ranted about his brother Frank and his wife. He knew how hard it was for her to accompany him, but he had promised his mother on her death bed to visit his brother at least once a year, and he couldn't show up alone.
He was glad that his brother had bought the story about Hermione's boarding school not closing in winter, not even over Christmas, in order to not discriminate among religions. This traditionally caused a huge rant over the stupid leftist tendencies in modern education from Frank, which Henry cultivated for an hour or so by alternating between goading him on and justifying that approach.
That heated discussion was always the most relaxing part of the visit.
Right in this moment they approached Grimmauld Place twelve, or better the place between number ten and fourteen. Once they were in sight, they had to concentrate on the house and it would muscle its way out between the other two.
Quickly, they approached the door and entered. Well, they entered after a few seconds of hesitation when they heard the din inside the house. It sounded like someone yelling and throwing spells left, right and centre. They would have drawn their guns to be prepared, but they had agreed that it wouldn't be wise to take weapons to a visit with Frank; the temptation would be too much.
Much to their relief, there was no all-out battle in progress in the house. All inhabitants, minus Harry, were sitting in the drawing room, chatting softly and occasionally wincing when a really loud bang interrupted the constant yelling from the dining room they had emptied and designated as the training room months before.
"Hi Mum; Hi Dad," Hermione greeted them. "How bad was it this year?"
"Don't ask. But it seems as if your day was worse, I guess," Margret answered. "That's Harry in there, isn't it?" she asked with a wave towards the door, which glowed yellow with magic, probably reinforcements.
Hermione nodded weakly. "Take a seat, that's a long story."
After the Grangers had found a spot on a couch and accepted drinks from Winky, Hermione began the tale.
ooOOoo
It began with a perfect day, they strolled along Diagon Alley under disguise, having fun with shopping and couple stuff. Remus and Tonks accompanied them, which turned out to be a mistake.
The four of them were standing in front of a magical hotchpotch shop, pointing out various pieces of knick-knack to each other, commenting on whom it would be the perfect present for. Currently, Harry pointed out a string less Newton's cradle to Hermione, which he thought perfect for Henry. Hermione huffed at that thought. "Better not, mom had told me about how she had to take away the Muggle one Henry had in his office, because he kept on neglecting his paper work while playing with it," she told Harry just as they both felt their glamours fade.
"Mister Potter!" A loud voice proclaimed at the same moment, causing all of them to wince and Tonks to swear under her breath. She had seen the group moving in their general direction, but had dismissed them as no threat, and continued to scan the crowd.
Turning around, Harry suddenly found himself facing no other than the Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge, accompanied by Percy Weasley and two Auror bodyguards. One of them, a man she knew as Gangspill from patrol duty, briefly nodded to Tonks, acknowledging her. She swore once more when she realized that her presence had given them away.
"Are you crazy?" Harry hissed at them. "Don't you remember what happened the last time someone exposed us on Diagon Alley?"
The Aurors had the presence of mind to immediately turn outwards, scanning for threats, as did Tonks and Remus. Percy was sputtering, near apoplectic at how Potter dared to address the Minister of Magic, and Fudge was his usual, oblivious self.
"Nonsense, Potter, we are perfectly safe here," the man said pompously, probably even believing his own propaganda. "I want you to retract your accusatory memories; you are casting doubts on some outstanding members of society, dragging them into the mud with your lies."
"You know that those are true memories, I had to provide an oath on their authenticity," Harry replied, his eyes narrowing dangerously at the nerve of that man.
"Irrelevant. They are subverting order and I demand you to retract them. After this, you'll attend a press conference where you will endorse the Ministry's actions to keep the peace," Fudge replied, completely ignoring the signs of impending doom.
"Just to sum that up; you want me to accuse myself of lying, thereby destroying my academic reputation forever, humiliate myself, and show up at your dog and pony show, and be a good puppet?" Harry sweetly replied, his smile growing increasingly feral.
Fudge smiled happily in return, oblivious of the sarcasm.
"Do you want fries with that?" Harry harrumphed, shaking his head as he turned around to leave. Percy was having nothing of that, and yanked him back on his arm, shrieking an enraged "What do you..."
*smack*
Immediately, Harry and Hermione had their wands out, as well as Tonks, Remus and the two Aurors. Only Fudge and Percy hadn't; Fudge was staring at his aide, and said aide was prone on the ground, howling in pain and clutching his face, while blood seeped through his fingers.
"Aurors! Arrest that boy!" Fudge shrieked, and before the Aurors had moved, Remus and Tonks had moved between them and the kids.
"I hope you meant to arrest Weasley here, since he had attacked Mister Potter, prompting him to defend himself," she said.
The Aurors lowered their wands, knowing quite well that not only this was correct, but also that they would be forced to go against one of their own squad, a known werewolf and Potter himself to make the arrest. "Sorry Minister, Auror Tonks has it right. There is no cause to arrest any of them, Minister."
"Let's go," Harry prompted, again turning to leave. Fudge, noticing that this hadn't gone quite the way he had wanted, took his last chance to get one up on them.
"Auror Tonks! I'll have your badge for this!" he growled, which Tonks answered with a shrug and reached into her pocket, throwing the badge at his feet.
"Have fun," she smirked as she took the rear guard, herding the kids to the nearest Floo.
ooOOoo
While they told the Grangers the story, the explosions in the trainings room lessened, and about ten minutes after they had finished, the door flew open, with Harry storming out and over to them.
"Tonks, I want to hire you as my personal bodyguard, same pay as you had in the Corps. Same for you Remus, I'm sorry I didn't think about it before, you both put your life on hold for us, and got nothing out of it," he told them non-nonsensically as he stood in front of them.
He didn't know what he did to Remus with that. Harry had just offered the man who had been forced to coast by with menial work for a few days or weeks all his life one of the highest wages in the wizarding world - Auror pay. While Remus fought with himself if he really should accept this offer, Tonks needed Harry to settle a question unambiguously.
"Wait a minute. You want me to just hang around with you guys, on a tropical island on top, and actually want to pay me for that?" She asked incredulously, receiving a nod from Harry.
"Deal!" She squealed as she launched herself at Harry, full intent to cuddle, hug and wrestle him into next year, while all others started talking and making preparations for the New Years Eve preparations.
ooOOoo
"And I'll play the DJ for the night," Henry proposed after everyone had made their suggestions for the party.
"That means it'll be 'The Eagles' for every other song, doesn't it?" Hermione teased her dad with a broad smile.
"One word against them, and you'll be struck from my will, daughter dear," Henry mock-growled, giving her a rather well-played evil look.
"Did you know that they were a bunch of wizards?" Remus came to her rescue.
"Yeah," Tonks threw her two Knuts in. "Hotel California, for instance, is about how one of them was caught in a cursed hotel. You couldn't walk out the door or jump out of the windows; nor climb, dig, or destroy walls or fences to get out. They even warded against magical methods of flight, but allowed birds to pass. He escaped because he was an eagle animagus - they subsequently named themselves after that feat."
"So the twins told the truth? I thought they were pulling my leg, when they told me that story!" Henry gasped.
"You know, we do that quite often," Fred huffed from the seat across the room.
"Most of the time, actually," George remarked sourly. "Still people are always surprised."
All others exchanged an 'yes, of course you do' meaningful look, nodding with pronounced frowns.
"Oy!" Fred shouted "We'll have you know that the only lie we tell is when you ask us if it was us!"
"Or if we did something to it..." George added.
"Right. Oh - and if you ask if it's safe," Fred quipped with an snort that was echoed by his brother.
"Or if you ask if we ate our Brussel sprouts," George allowed.
"True, urgh..." Fred spat with disgust. "Or if we have honest intentions with your daughter..."
"Well, to be frank, we always are honest with our intentions towards girls..." George said with a leer and waggle of his eyebrows.
"Except with her parents," Fred completed, before George listed the next exception. They did so for the better of the next hour, one-upping each other again and again in a contest to entertain all others.
*** Meanwhile, in a dark lair***
Lord Voldemort sat at the table in his personal quarters, eating breakfast. To the outsider, it would have been surprising that there were no toads, frog spawn or anything in his diet, but his breakfast was a very ordinary British one. Even the Ceylon-Assam blend black tea was nothing to write home about. The occupant of these chambers - at least he wore the dark robes he was supposed to - had just finished reading the headline and main article of the Daily Prophet, and meticulously folded the paper in half to set it aside for later perusal. For a moment, he folded his hands and stared at and through them, deep in contemplation.
With a jerk, he snapped back into the present and nodded approvingly. That boy had political savvy, he had to admit. Probably Dumbledore's advice and tutoring, and a bit of youthful rashness to actually leave their own lines and advance towards an enemy. 'A powerful combination.'
Without directly attacking, this article had undermined the attempts of Malfoy to regain his political weight without giving the man a possible way to counter. After all, Lucius had been convicted but pardoned for exactly these charges just a few months before.
Voldemort made a mental note to bring this topic up once more when he met Malfoy the next time.
'But on the other hand, someone with a still clean slate...'
Voldemort smiled a cruel, cold smile as he grabbed a flask of blood replenishing potion, the first of three flasks he needed in the course of a day. Even the bitter taste of the sip he took couldn't dim his good mood. He had a plan.