"It must have hurt a lot though. How did you get hurt?" Merissa asked while carressing the specific pinky finger and looking with concern.
"I can't really recall. But I think it was while training for a sword fight." Aefia answered back. "And can you believe one thing?! George was the one who asked me to spar with him! Like how do I deal with someone who probably has ten years holding a sword?!"
I have a plus point here... We both have overprotective brothers and we both hate them. She hates her older brother for being strict... While I hate him for not understanding the situation and trying to deal with the matter his way.
So if I say something related to him about the injury, she would understand it immediately. But just in the way I want her to believe it.
"Wait! So have our brother's suddenly come together to torture their little sisters?!" Merissa shouted with absolute rage in her eyes. "Well I am going to teach them a lesson... But I will need your help and every other little sister with protective brothers' help!"
"Hold up..." Aefia spoke while standing up, as she lowered both of Merissa's hands from the air. "We can't do that... They are older and much faster. They know about informations faster then us and they have the quickest ways to punish us as well... But overall... You know what I mean." She added calmly.
"I guess you are right about that." She answered back more calmly now. "But I believe they need to be punished at one point of their lives. Like seriously... I believe that when I have to go away and live on my own just to be able to study at a prestigious university like he wants me to... Will he send bodyguards to stand in front of my classroom door while I die out of embarrassment?"
"I mean... Makes sense though." Aefia scratched the back of her head. "I guess he just wants to ensure you don't sustain any sort of pain... Any possible ways. And to think he is a Lieutenant. He is just trying to keep you safe at the least."
"You are right... I do feel bad for him about that. But I can't change the fact now. I want to learn how to live an independent life... Not one filled with restrains every path I walk... You know?" The naive girl spoke while turning her gaze to the carpet at her feet.
"Restrains... Every path you walk..."
Aefia muttered to herself unconsciously. Her eyes turned shadowed as she clasped her hands behind her back. "But if you think of it that way... Your restrains are something that seems more feeble to break then to some other people..." She continued while lifting her gaze.
"What do you mean? Are you suddenly siding with my brother?"
"No... That's not what I meant..." She flashed a smile. "You should be happy... That your brother is probably fighting walls to protect you while you are only chained at your wrists. And let me tell you one thing... Breaking walls is harder because you lose more objects to break them the more you move on."
Merissa took a deep look into her friend's eyes. "Why are you suddenly... Saying things like that?" She asked while refusing to break eye contact with the void behind those black eyes. She had read in a few novels, people only do strange things during their last days.
"You don't have any sort of... Decisions... Do you? One that might result in a large event? Or maybe something that will... Upset others around you?"
"Maybe not..." Aefia added while looking closely at her environment, slowly returning to her present from the past.
"What...?"
The naive girl straightened up. "What do you mean by... maybe not..." Her voice turned hoarse, with concern pooling at the edges of her mind. The silence stretched on for a minute, eventually turning into a void itself.
"Why aren't you speaking?!" Merissa shouted at the top of her lungs at Aefia's direction, who was still smiling and completely zoned out as if the batteries for her porcelain doll had just ran out. She was about to launch herself onto her friend's shoulders to see if she was still in there.
Slowly, Aefia pulled her hands from their clasped form and held it into the air as if in a celebratory mood. "April fool's!"
She shouted while opening her mouth after a long time. "Sorry for the delay... But I needed the suspense to deepen enough for you to buy the prank." Her voice lowered at the end, as she stepped towards the sitting area again.
"I kind of tried to control your emotions by saying words like that... But please don't keep it engraved into your mind." She added while settling down on the opposite sofa. Her smile dropping almost instantly as if an invisible mask of emotion had just dropped and shattered without a sound. "But please... I don't want to upset anyone doing dumb stuff... That is... If you say pranks are dumb too." Her eyes looked up at the naive girl's pale face.
Merissa let out a breathe of relief, as she stepped back towards the sofa and pulled her smile back up. "No... A prank wouldn't be considered stupid in anyways. I was just thinking of something else... Like you know? Suicide and self-harm." She spoke with a gentle tone of voice.
"Ooh damn! You really thought I would go that far?!" Aefia acted surprised. But you didn't think... You knew... I was just testing you to see if you could tell that I was thinking of it. So you were a test subject for my final attempt at giving up. I guess I really have almost no way to do so without letting anyone know...
"I didn't just think... I was planning on how to stop you already! Like what to do when you were gone from school and stuff..." Her friend continued to speak, until the main question popped back up again. "By the way... When will you be able to come back to school? It really has become lonely ever since the first day when you didn't come and Stephany wasn't around. I was hoping that her ghost didn't take you away to the spirit world..."
"Oh about that..." Aefia answered almost instantly. "I don't think I will ever go back. I am leaving school."
The silence following the breaking news was deafening. Merissa looked at the person sitting beside her, and her mind only said one thing. My friend... April fool's is four months away... It's still December.
Despite the shock, she didn't say anything or drop her expression. Both parts here were playing their own game of acting to deceive the other. Because both of them were hiding something between their minds that they refused to let the other one know.
Merissa had come here to tell Aefia to leave the school. And to tell her about her own decision to leave it too. If time were still on their side, they could discuss this with George. Merissa herself had been begging her brother for weeks to just get a chance to head out and warn Aefia about the headmaster's unusual reactions.
"Anyways Merissa..." Aefia broke the silence inside the naive girl's mind. "I was thinking... We won't be able to see each other much now... So we should hangout sometimes to remember our beautiful friendship. Don't you think?"
"Well yes..." Merissa answered immediately.
"And also... I don't think I will be in this empire for long..."
"Why not?" She asked with a deepening curiousity with the passing time.
"Because the duchess wants to take her specific middle two children to a small trip to their mother's home country to reunite with her noble friends." Aefia answered back while folding her arms. "I think she just wants to introduce me to them as one of her children... And then have Lewis to look after me for the remaining of the trip."
"Yeah, okay!" Merissa suddenly stood up. Her hands slammed onto the table as she leaned forwards to where Aefia was. "What is up with you and your brothers trying to keep you alive Aefia?! Are you seriously alright at all?! You have been speaking about a lot of things and you have never told me why you had decided to lock yourself for three days! I know it is making sense in some terms but the mystery is too deep!"
"Is it?" Aefia asked back while dropping all acts and masks.
"Yes!" Merissa shouted back while moving her gaze to the wooden table she had slammed just a few seconds ago. "It is too intricate for me to understand just yet! But you are trying to tell me something which I can't understand at all! Not everyone has your powerful brain! Alright?!"
"But didn't you have the brain..." Aefia started to speak slowly and calmly. "To already understand that April fool's is four months away?" She asked while crossing her legs.
"Think carefully... What is something that everyone desires at around our age? Drugs, self-harm, getting involved into so much? What is the main reason for it?"
Merissa felt her eyes widen as she stared into her pale face with complete confusion. But there was something that caused her brain circuits to flicker. "Three days... Locked up... Could only mean... You have decided to give up."
She finally answered, while still hesitating.
***
The ocean breeze was fairly cold, but to Aefia, it felt like it sent chills of warning along her spine. She recalled the few last things she had told Merissa on the last day of their hangout. She gritted her teeth while trying to hold back her tears, as she looked down at the way the ocean water splashed with the ferry's sides.
Unwillingly, her salt-mixed tears collided with the sea water below. She bit her lips to keep from actually breaking out in a cry.
Why can't I find a point of my life where I can enjoy a permanent point of joy?! Even a single understanding friend is a sacrifice... What am I to this world?!
A pawn who is the only one left in the battlefield while being forced to face the entire fully clad opposing group! That is what the world had forced against me! A chessboard for a life!
*
"You don't think you will ever be able to live without sacrificing your own happiness?" Merissa asked while finishing her bit of ice cream cone. "Seriously though... You are smart and all... Can't you find a more permanent solution that can bring back your lost joy to you?"
"Not really..." Aefia answered back, while leaving her ice cream completely untouched. She didn't even lift her gaze from the delicacy.
"Are you really going to keep staring at that ice cream? Do you want me to remember this as a last memory of our friendship?" Merissa asked, with a little bit of hurt at her voice.
With that, Aefia lifted her gaze to face her friend. "Do you want to answer a question in return for it?" She forced a smile.
"Yes..." The naive girl answered back, while clasping her hands behind her. "Am I a sacrifice too? Someone you have to protect with your own blood? Please don't say yes."
The question was, to put it in simple terms, too intimidating for her to answer. It brought her eyes into a state that made her to move them away and face the ground. "No... You are sacrifing... Not me..." She answered back, the back of her throat aching in a sort of sadness and loneliness.
"... Alright..." Merissa had answered, and the rest of the journey back was absurdly quiet. No last words, no more speeches, no more friendship concerns on their faces... Just a sudden feeling of being separated forever.
Merissa knew... That Aefia had tried to kill herself twice before in failed attempts... And the third time would be too late to save her. If it were the second... It was still avoidable. But her state of mind had gone to a point of no return. Now, she was determined for death.
*
"You are too silent for my liking. Why aren't you teasing me today?! You haven't in the past three days honestly." Lewis spoke while stepping up beside her.
Immediately, she wiped her eyes and fixed her facial expressions. "I am too tired to do so... Mentally tired." She answered back while looking towards the approaching landscape. "I think I miss Henry..." She managed to force a smile.
"Ugh! Why is it that Henry is your favorite brother and not me!" He spoke out in rage while folding his arms in front of him, then staring at her void-like eyes... Zoned out. He placed a hand at her shoulder to silently wake her again.
"Why is it so that you are so busy inside your mind nowadays?"
"Because I am a afraid..." She immediately answered back while leaning against the railing of the ferry.
Finally, Lewis let out a chuckle. "Come on! Just that the last vacation was a little askew... Doesn't mean this one will! Afterall... Dungeons don't appear everywhere... Do they?"
"I am still... Afraid..."
He let out a sigh following her words. "Can you tell me one reason why Henry is your favorite brother?" He asked while staring away, dropping his smile.
"I see so much of my biological brother in him... So... He kind of makes me feel like... I am talking to my own younger brother..." She answered back while gritting her teeth until her jaws groaned against each other. Finally, she lifted her head and started to wipe away the unshed tears. "I am afraid I will never be able to see my biological family again..."
Her eyes were lifted to face the sky, to avoid the tears from trailing down her face. After all... I will be wiped out of existence...
"Have you ever not wanted another sibling in your life?" Lewis asked while noticing her facial expressions closely.
"I did... An elder brother..." She answered back while offering him a smile. "Someone who would have guided me if my parents couldn't."
His eyes widened with the response. But then, he cleared his throat and pulled out a case from within his pocket. "Anyways... I have been meaning to give this to you for some time now... Happy Birthday Aefia... It's the fifth of December..."
He gently placed the box onto her hand, then patted her head before walking away.