March, 231 BC
"Miss, please stay out of the cold. Don't forget to drink your medicine, eat your vegetables...remember to listen to your Grandfather," Nanny Gu reminded me for the third time today as she wrapped the fur shawl around my smaller body.
"Please take care of yourself, Nanny." I grasped her hands, unsure when the next time I could see her again. I observed the wrinkles at her eyes as she smiled at me with reassurance that she'd be okay.
"Thank you for your hard work all these years," Qi Yuan, my cousin, nonchalantly came up to us. "Here's our family's gratitude, it should be enough to retire you and help your sons," he dropped a bag into her palms.
"Young master, I loved them dearly as my own. My late Lady had already given me enough from her will. Please keep it for our Young Miss."
"If you say so." He walked away, but I saw him in the distance putting the same bag into her chest.
A month had passed since the funeral. Snow had started to melt, so today was the day I officially depart from the Lu household; everyone from the Qi family was to move out including Nanny. However, she was indeed too old to travel into the cold north of Qin where the headquarters of the Qi's mercenary group was.
"Yue'er, come," my grandfather commanded from the window his carriage.
I looked down at the snow piling on my boots and slightly dipped at the knee to nod 'yes' in response. As my head turned, I saw servants closing the gates of the Lu household.
No one came.
Nanny held my hands and helped me into the carriage. I squeezed them once more, meeting her eyes in silent thanks.
Warmth engulfed me as I entered, and I sat at the seat across from Grandfather.
Silence.
"Child."
I tightened my grip on my sleeves.
"You're a proud granddaughter of our Qi Family. Sit up tall." He said so firmly that commanded my instincts to comply.
"Yes, Grandfather," I meekly responded.
"Grandfather," my cousin's voice traveled from outside the carriage, "are you scaring the lady of the house already?" He peeked through the cloth of the window.
"Mei mei, don't be scared. He's forgotten how to speak to girls since auntie left...sorry," he trailed off and cleared his throat. "The trip will be five days worth. Let me know if you start feeling sick or need to rest okay? I'll be riding beside you guys. Here-" He placed a warm satchel into my hands. "They're filled with hot stones. Should keep you warm before nightfall," he smiled at me.
Qi Yuan visited me everyday while I was recovering. He talked a lot while I listened. He shared his excitement now that he's got a little sister like his friends, his new training regiments, his father—my uncle's—plan for his leadership, and more.
Today, he stood tall and lean, shoulders carrying a quiet confidence, and dark eyes that observed me with a mix of gentleness, concern, and a flick of amusement.
"Thank you...Yuan-ge."
He flashed me a bright smile and patted my head.
"Close it, it's cold." Our grandfather's voice directed. I obeyed.
The road was not smooth, and my body was not taking it kindly.
I tried distracting myself by napping, but really, just closing my eyes as Grandfather had done the entire time. It didn't help.
I peeked my eyes open trying to ignore the sourness that was threatening to make an exit.
Grandfather looked past his prime, but nothing about him said that he's frail and weak. He was wearing light armor and his sword sat beside him. His back was fully against the walls with his arms crossed.
I was wondering if he's comfortable wearing that in here.
Nanny reminded me the Qi family were masters of Tianlang Wei—the Heavenly Wolf Guard. Wolves even kings feared.
Their name was spoken throughout the streets when Qin Shi Huang united the seven kingdoms, but whether they stood beside the emperor or against him, I couldn't remember. A lot was still a blur as I tried to reconnect the pieces of my past memories.
What I did know was this: now that I had left the Lu family, nothing about my future was predictable. I had the month to make peace with it. It still worried me—but I had to cling onto hope that this was a start of something 'not worse' to stay sane.
Maybe if I keep my head down and diligently help with the household, they would let me live quietly in the shadows. That's all I needed.
Daylight began to dim as we stopped and men began to set up camp. I was instructed to sit in the carriage, but nausea was climbing up my throat more dangerously once we stopped moving. My choices were: disobey orders and possibly face the consequences or vomit here in the name of following orders and force Grandfather to sit in the smell for days...
I grimaced at the thought.
I'd come back sooner before they're back.
My head peeked out of the carriage to spotted my grandfather talking to my uncle. There were two guards a few feet away, but were distracted when another two came up to talk to them.
I tipped my toe out to the ground and I could've sworn it spun a little bit before I found stability from the black horse that was still attached to the carriage. He snorted, and I whispered a shh..
My body only allowed a few steps away before everything came up. Liquid splattered and the bitter acid overwhelmed my mouth.
"Mei-mei! Are you okay?! Guards!"
I didn't have time to respond as my dizziness got worse with each surge of vomit. Footsteps began to crowd around me, but I didn't have the luxury to look up yet.
"Miss!"
"Master, the lady!"
"Yue'er!"
Many called out in the backgrounds.
A strong hand stroked my back, soothing my body from the dry heaving. "Here," a piece of ginger candy sat between my lips.
Color already drained from my face, and my vision dotted with familiar black spots.
"I'm sorry…"