The morning didn't feel new.
It felt like the night had followed me.
My eyes still hurt, and my chest felt heavy, like something was sitting there and refusing to leave. I got ready slowly, not because I wanted to, but because I had to.
Everything felt the same.
The same uniform.
The same mirror.
The same tired girl staring back at me.
I didn't even try to fix my hair properly.
It didn't matter.
The bus ride was quiet. I sat by the window like always, resting my head against the glass. People were talking around me, laughing about things I didn't understand.
I didn't join them.
I just listened… and even that felt far away.
When I got to school, I hesitated at the gate.
For a moment, I thought about turning back.
But I didn't.
I walked in.
Slowly.
Like my feet didn't want to be there.
The hallway was already full. Students moving, voices mixing together, everything loud and normal.
Too normal.
I held my bag tighter and kept walking, trying not to think too much.
Then I saw him.
I stopped.
He was there… standing not too far away, talking to someone. He looked the same as always. Calm. Quiet. Like nothing touched him.
Like last night didn't exist.
My chest tightened.
I told myself to walk.
To just pass him like he was nothing.
But the moment I moved, his eyes lifted.
And they met mine.
I froze.
It was only for a second, but it felt longer.
There was something in his eyes.
Something I didn't understand.
Something that made it harder to breathe.
I quickly looked away and walked past him.
Faster this time.
Like I was running from something I didn't want to face.
I didn't stop until I got to the classroom.
I sat down immediately and stared at my desk, trying to calm my breathing.
It didn't work.
"Hey… Mina."
I looked up.
It was her.
My best friend.
She was already watching me, her eyebrows slightly pulled together like she was worried.
"You look tired," she said softly.
I forced a small smile. "I'm fine."
She didn't look convinced.
"You've been saying that a lot lately."
I didn't know what to say.
Because she was right.
"I just didn't sleep well," I added quietly.
She sighed and sat beside me. "You should rest more. You're starting to look… different."
Different.
The word stayed in my head.
If she knew the truth, she wouldn't just say "different."
She would hate me.
I looked down at my hands. "I'm okay."
She didn't push again.
But I could feel it.
She was still thinking about it.
Break time came, and I stayed in my seat.
I didn't feel like talking.
Didn't feel like moving.
I just wanted everything to stay quiet.
"Mina."
My heart skipped.
I knew that voice.
I didn't look up.
"Come outside."
My fingers tightened slightly on the edge of the desk.
For a second, I thought about ignoring him.
Pretending I didn't hear.
But I knew he wouldn't leave.
I stood up slowly and walked out of the classroom.
I didn't look at anyone.
I just followed him.
The corridor was quieter here.
He stopped walking, and I stopped too.
There was a small space between us.
But it didn't feel like enough.
Neither of us spoke at first.
I didn't even know where to look.
"What happened yesterday?"
His voice was low.
Calm.
But not distant.
"Nothing," I said.
Too quickly.
He didn't reply immediately.
And that silence made everything worse.
"Don't lie," he said.
I swallowed.
"I'm not."
He stepped closer.
Just a little.
But I felt it.
"Then why were you crying?"
My breath stopped.
I looked up at him.
"You saw me?"
He nodded slightly.
That was enough.
I looked away again, my chest tightening.
"I'm fine," I whispered.
"You're not."
His voice was softer now.
And that made it harder to hold everything in.
"It doesn't matter," I said.
"It does."
I shook my head. "It doesn't change anything."
A quiet silence fell between us.
The kind that made everything feel heavier.
"We shouldn't be doing this," I added.
My voice felt small.
"We shouldn't even be talking like this."
"But we are," he said.
I didn't answer.
Because I didn't have anything left to say.
Then he spoke again.
"You still call me 'Damina.'"
I froze.
That name again.
"It's just a nickname," I said softly.
"Is it?"
I didn't respond.
Because I didn't know anymore.
And that was the truth.