"Huh...?"
Vigil let out a sound of muffled confusion as he slowly looked around, what he believed to be, the carriage.
He was sure that he had heard two separate voices just a moment ago. The first being his voice, as he did in fact say something out loud to himself, and the other being a voice that sounded quite similar if not identical to his own, but still not his.
From what Vigil could see after looking around the vehicle's interior, he was all alone at the moment. No bug, no animal, and certainly no person was within the metal carriage along with him.
'I must be hearing things. Did I lose so much blood to the point of hallucination? Can that even happen for that matter?'
He thought weakly as he slowly swiveled his head back into its original position, gazing absentmindedly towards the ceiling of his temporary lodgings.
As he was staring off into nowhere, Vigil slowly raised his right hand - the one that could still function correctly - towards his head. When he had done so, he began to take off his helmet, hoping to help better his air flow situation as it was slowly becoming more and more difficult to breathe.
Vigil was soon able to experience a better intake of air into his lungs as he had achieved taking off his helmet. Albeit, only after a small amount of time had passed with him struggling to take it off.
He then set it down at the foot of the seat that he was currently using as a bed.
Now stuck with all the time in the world until he inevitably passes out or dies from exhaustion and blood loss, Vigil decided to partake in the one activity he was actually capable of doing without further worsening his already critical condition.
Thinking, pondering, whatever you may call it, that is what he did.
'Tomorrow... I have to go back to that battlefield and get some more water. Heating it up and pouring it on my wounds should help a bit.'
At first the only thing the boy could think about was how to improve his current situation.
'I have to grab more ammo as well... I did not expect to expend so much so quickly...'
Unfortunately, it did not take long for Vigil's thoughts to begin hurting him just as much as the pain he was experiencing from his shoulder right now.
'... But it serves me right. I had one decent week and decided that things would get better. Ha! Sure it did. I am doing much better. That is exactly why I am now standing on the grim reaper's front door step.'
His thoughts only proceeded to grow worse and worse from there as he recalled all of the events that he had experienced since first being thrown out into the deadly reaches of War Field.
'I have done nothing, so why do they hurt me? I have only tried to help, so why do they attack me? I am just a weak, pathetic kid. So why... Why do I have to go through this...? Why do I have to suffer?'
Question.
'... I can not do it. Make it to Mercy? How stupid of me! I could not even save my people. I let them burn right before my eyes as I ran. My lady is most likely dead too. My mother... My mother! She was there- She was right there and I did nothing! ... I did nothing...'
Regret.
'I was unable to protect those who were around me… And tonight… I have learned that I cannot even protect myself. There is no way that I can do it- That I can escape this dreadful place and find somewhere safe to live.'
Doubt.
'Would it not just be better to give up? Why try when there is no point at all... Why continue to endure... When I can just stop...'
Despair.
After all of his piled up thoughts had come crashing down onto him like a tidal wave out at sea, he had come to one final conclusion.
One final solution.
At this realization, his eyelids slowly began to open wide.
Looking down without moving his head, Vigil began to move his right arm to his left leg in hopes of being able to reach what had been strapped to his upper thigh earlier that day.
The boy kept struggling for the next minute before eventually giving up at the understanding that he could not reach his hand where he wanted to.
After letting his arm go limp, Vigil slowly turned his head to the side and looked down into the carriage's footwell.
There he saw the last gift his mother had ever given him.
The item that was a constant reminder of the worst day of his life.
The Promise.
As Vigil was staring at the sword that had been lying on the floor, he began to move his right arm once more. This time away from himself and towards the item that had been captivating Vigil's sight.
As he was reaching down towards the Promise, visions of that horrific day began to repeat within his mind, one after the other. The scene of him meeting his mother in the morning, of him waking up Princess Arvayne, going to class and learning from Professor Shtil.
The images kept playing through his mind, one by one.
And then, just as his hand was about to grasp the blade's hilt, a voice called out to him.
'Live...'
It was a voice that he could never forget and would never want to forget. It was the voice of the person he missed most in this world.
It was the voice of his mother.
He recalled how in her final moments she had requested a few final things from him, with two in particular standing out the most. One was repeated more than the other due to the urgency of the situation - Run. The other one was said but one time... And even then it weighed on him much greater than the first word did.
Live.
Vigil's mother, above all else, wanted her son to live.
Now here he was, about to do the complete opposite of one of his mother's final wishes. He was about to squander all of the sacrifices she had made for him, all because he wanted to give up.
'I...'
His mind started to churn as he retracted his arm and began to look up at the metal carriage's ceiling once again.
'... am such a terrible son...'
As he thought this, tears began to well up within his eyes as if a dam had begun to overflow and was soon to break.
Then, after a short pause, he continued.
'Mother... I am so sorry... Even though you told me to, I had abandoned you in your last moments. I left without telling you that I love you... That was bad enough...'
It was at this point that the threshold of his eyes could take no more and the barrier blocking all of his tears from flowing out had broken.
'Now to think... that I was about to abandon the life that you so desperately protected at the cost of yours.'
He raised his arm to his head, using it to shield his eyes from the outside world. However, in no way did that help stop the tears from flowing.
That night, Vigil had once again fallen asleep while being accompanied by his tears.
***
When Vigil had opened his eyes after last night's rest, the first thing that he was greeted by was the sharp pain coursing through his left shoulder.
"Argh..."
Letting out a low muffled groan, Vigil slightly raised his head from his previous laying position and looked just enough to his left in order to see his roughly bandaged shoulder.
From the looks of it, the bleeding had mostly stopped by this point, with only trace amounts still being in a liquid state.
Gently putting his head back down and gazing at the now familiar ceiling, Vigil brought his right arm - which had fallen back down to his side while he slept - up to his face. He then rubbed his eyes in order to get all of the built up crust out of them.
When he finished, he casually put his arm back down to his side, allowing it to rest.
Soon after, he set his focus back onto the footwell. To be more precise, back onto the sword that lay there in wait - the Promise.
Contradictory to his lingering gaze, his mind began to wander, recounting the events of last night.
Within that time of being physically still while mentally scattered, Vigil was able to come to a conclusion that, contrary to the one from the night prior, he could find a semblance of peace and fruition in.
Ever so gently closing his eyes and rolling his head back into its rightful comfortable position, Vigil had started thinking to himself once more.
Thankfully, unlike the evening prior, the flow of thoughts this time was much better.
'I must grow stronger... Mother had given this life to me, so I might as well use that borrowed time to fulfill her wishes and find my own reason to go on... I might as well live. But I will need the strength to do so...'
Resolve.