Beerus clenched his teeth. Buu's punch had actually hurt, and that annoyed him almost as much as the punch itself.
Worse, Ultra Instinct had not moved him out of the way.
Buu, on the other hand, looked thrilled. "Big fat cat Champa! This time it has to be you! You said you wanted to lose weight, and you really did it! Tell me how. I've been trying for ages, but I still can't get any smaller."
Then he scratched his head, looking terribly sincere. "Oh, right. There was another guy over there who looked just like you. I hit him too. I feel kind of bad about that."
Ken watched him perform and felt a quiet wave of pride.
What a waste.
Buu should have been an actor.
Merus wiped at his forehead. Buu had already hit Beerus twice, and he was still standing there smiling. Brave was one word for it. Completely insane was another. Still, Broly was due back soon, so maybe Buu was feeling bolder than usual.
Whis glanced over, saw Beerus had not destroyed anyone yet, and returned to the food. Every bite made him happier and more miserable at the same time. Earth's food was incredible, and Earth was no longer in Universe 7.
That hurt more than he wanted to admit.
"Fat cat, long time no see!" Buu laughed, rubbing his belly like he had just reunited with an old friend.
Beerus grabbed him by the collar. "You fat idiot. Look at me properly. I am Beerus. Not Champa."
"Beerus?" Buu leaned in, then glanced toward the table where Beerus had been sitting earlier.
"Yes. I was sitting there, and now I'm standing here. That does not make me a different cat." Beerus shoved him away. "Open your eyes and stop getting it wrong."
Buu stumbled back, landed on his rear, then bounced up and bowed over and over.
"I'm sorry. Very sorry. Super sorry."
His head stayed low, but the corner of his mouth kept twitching.
Beerus saw it and felt his patience thin. "Get lost."
"Yes, yes. Sorry again."
Buu backed away politely, then returned to Bardock's table with the happiest face in the yard.
Bardock stared at him. "You really got away with it."
"Fun, right?" Buu asked.
Bardock let out a tired laugh. "Years ago, all of us challenged him together, and he beat us while he was asleep."
Buu nodded. "Only Broly can beat him."
"Yeah."
They ate for a while, and Bardock almost convinced himself the joke was over.
Then Buu leaned in again. "Want to bet I can hit him one more time?"
"No," Bardock said at once. "That last one was already pushing it."
"There's one punch left."
"I'm serious. Hit him again and he'll stop playing along."
"It's fine."
Buu stood up, shaking out his fist.
Bardock reached for him, but Buu was already walking off. This time, Bardock did not even know whether he wanted to stop him or see how far this stupidity could go.
Beerus was still rubbing his head.
This was exactly why he hated fat people.
Champa had not even arrived, and Beerus had already taken two hits because of him. If the food had been worse, Buu would already be gone. Unfortunately, the food was excellent, and Buu kept apologizing just sincerely enough to make destroying him feel annoying.
Beerus wandered to another table and noticed a strange spiky fruit sitting there. It was round, ugly, and looked more like a weapon than food.
"What is that?" he asked.
"Durian," Videl said.
"Durian?" Beerus eyed it. "That's food?"
"It's fruit. The smell is strong, but it tastes good."
Beerus leaned in and sniffed.
He recoiled at once.
"What is wrong with this planet?" he snapped, already clawing a hole into the ground. He pointed at the pit. "Bury it."
Videl blinked. Gohan scratched his head. Kale looked between Beerus and the fruit, not sure if this was a joke.
"It's not that bad," Videl said. She opened the durian, took a piece, and ate it herself.
Beerus stared at her.
She was eating it.
Willingly.
Videl scooped a clean piece with a small serving spoon and held it out. "Try a little. The smell is awful, but the taste is different."
Beerus studied her face. She did not look like she was trying to prank him.
Fine.
If this was a trick, he could destroy her afterward.
He pinched his nose and tried the smallest bite possible.
Then he paused.
The smell was still terrible, but the flavor was rich and sweet in a way he had not expected. He took another bite before admitting anything out loud.
Videl smiled. "See? It's good, right?"
Beerus nodded, a little unwillingly.
Gohan laughed. "I still can't get used to it."
"Me neither," Kale said. "The smell is too much."
"You two are missing out," Videl said, amused.
Beerus ate a few more bites, then noticed the empty durian shell.
Hard.
Spiky.
Just big enough.
His mood improved.
That pink fool kept hitting him in the head. If Beerus wore the shell, Buu would finally stop pretending he could not tell him apart from Champa.
Beerus placed the durian shell on his head with a small, satisfied smile.
Try it now.
"Hey!"
Buu's voice came from behind him.
Beerus felt the warning a heartbeat too late.
Buu punched straight through the durian shell, smashed it apart, and hit Beerus on the head for the third time.
Beerus shot to his feet with a furious howl, destruction energy flaring in his hand.
That was it.
Buu laughed like he had just solved the world's easiest puzzle. "I knew it! It really is you, fat cat! No wonder I kept getting it wrong. You had that thing on your head. Why were you wearing a durian?"
Beerus stared at him, shaking with anger.
"Fat cat, I finally found you." Buu beamed. "I missed you. And you really did lose weight! Tell me how you did it. I've been trying forever. Oh, and I accidentally hit that other guy before because I thought he was you…"
Buu stopped, eyes widening as if the truth had only now reached him.
"Wait. You're Beerus again?"
His face collapsed into panic, and he lowered his head at once. "Sorry, sorry, I'm really sorry. Hit me back if you want."
Beerus's destruction energy flickered, then slowly faded. He stepped closer, voice low and sharp.
"I will say this one more time. Champa is not here. Stop mistaking me for him."
"Champa didn't come?" Buu scratched his head, looking completely innocent. "That's strange. I thought he would."
"This is the last time," Beerus warned.
Buu nodded hard. "I'll look carefully from now on. No more mistakes."
"Get out of my sight. If you do it again, I'll turn you into a pile of crap."
Buu thought about that. "If I turn crap into chocolate, can I still eat it?"
Beerus fell silent.
For once, anger had nowhere to go.
Videl hurried in before Beerus changed his mind. "Beerus-sama, I'm sorry. Buu didn't mean it. I'll apologize for him."
"This is the last time," Beerus said coldly.
Videl bowed again and pulled Buu away with her.
Buu leaned close and whispered, "Actually, I did mean it."
Videl nearly tripped.
"What did you say?" Beerus snapped.
"Nothing!" Buu said.
"I heard something."
Videl reacted faster than him. "He said he thinks I ate the durian on purpose to bother him. He doesn't like the smell."
Buu nodded immediately.
Beerus glared at them for another moment, then waved them off. "Leave. Now."
Videl dragged Buu back to Bardock's table.
Buu grinned the whole way.
"Buu," Videl whispered, trying not to laugh and panic at the same time, "you really did that on purpose, didn't you? Did he do something to you?"
"A long time ago," Buu said. "I've wanted to mess with him for years."
"But aren't you strong?"
"I can't beat him."
Videl looked back at Beerus in surprise. "He's that strong?"
"Not stronger than Broly," Buu said proudly.
Bardock looked at Buu with real admiration.
That was the Little God of Destruction.
He had hit Beerus three times and survived.
"Could you hit him again?" Bardock asked.
Buu scratched his head. "Ken only taught me the joke up to three hits. I don't know what happens after that."
Bardock had nothing to say.
Across the yard, Beerus stood with a dark expression, his good mood nearly gone.
Right.
Why had he come here?
Super Saiyan God.
Beerus looked around the party, scanning the fighters one by one, until his eyes stopped on Vegeta.
That face was familiar.
A Saiyan prince. Small, stiff, proud, and terrified in exactly the same way his father had been.
Beerus started toward him.
Vegeta saw him coming and immediately went tense.
Why was Beerus coming to him?
Vegeta had recognized him right away. After meeting Champa, it was impossible not to see the resemblance. He had also watched Buu hit Beerus three times, which meant Beerus was probably in a terrible mood.
So why come to him?
Go after Buu.
Vegeta could not even beat Buu. Beerus was obviously worse. After everything he had been through, Vegeta's old arrogance had been ground down more than he liked to admit. He was still proud, but he was no longer stupid enough to bare his teeth at every monster who walked past him.
Beerus stopped in front of him. "You're Vegeta, aren't you?"
"Yes, Beerus-sama," Vegeta said.
"I remember you." Beerus held a hand near his waist. "You were about this tall when I first saw you."
Vegeta said nothing. He had been five years old then, and he had no idea what Beerus wanted now.
Beerus looked him over once more, then asked the question that mattered.
"Have you heard of the Super Saiyan God?"
Vegeta's eyes moved straight to Goku.
Super Saiyan God?
Then ask Kakarot.
Why are you asking me?
[End of chapter]
[100 Power Stones = Extra Chapter]
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