Buu stopped eating and looked at Bardock. "Say that again."
Bardock kept his voice low. "Can you beat Beerus?"
"Not that part. The part before."
Bardock thought back. "Little God of Destruction?"
Buu's eyes watered immediately. "That one. Nobody's called me that in ages."
Bardock stared at him, briefly losing all interest in the actual question.
Buu sniffed, wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, and went right back to his cake like nothing had happened.
"So?" Bardock asked. "Can you beat him?"
"No." Buu did not even hesitate. "I slept for years. I barely moved up at all. Right now, I can only reach about level 56."
Bardock went quiet.
Buu had spent years sleeping and still climbed a level.
Bardock had trained seriously all this time, fought, grown, pushed himself—and somehow that felt more insulting than encouraging.
"What if we fought him together?" Bardock asked.
"What level are you?"
"Fifty-four."
That finally got Buu's full attention. He looked Bardock over with real surprise.
"I trained," Bardock said.
Buu thought for a moment, then swallowed another bite of cake. "If I absorb you, I might be able to give him a good fight."
Bardock's expression flattened.
Winning sounded nice.
Being absorbed did not.
"Let's wait for Broly," Buu said, glancing toward the sky. The moment Broly came up, his mood lifted again. "He should be back soon."
"The Great God of Destruction is coming back?" Bardock asked.
Buu nodded. "He's my best friend."
Bardock looked toward Mr. Satan, who was busy acting as if he belonged at this party. "I thought Mr. Satan was your best friend."
"Satan is my second-best friend."
Bardock had no idea what to do with a friendship ranking system that specific.
Buu grinned and leaned closer. "You fought Beerus once, right? When he was sleeping."
"I fought a piece of his energy," Bardock said. "I used Super Saiyan God, but that wasn't Beerus himself."
"Then fight the real one."
"Not today. It's Bulma's birthday, and Ken said not to start trouble."
Buu nodded hard, as if he had fully absorbed the lesson.
He managed to keep that lesson for about twenty seconds.
Then his eyes lit up.
Bardock immediately felt the kind of dread that only Buu could cause while standing beside a dessert table.
"What are you thinking?"
"I remembered something Ken told me before." Buu patted his stomach, already smiling to himself. "It was funny."
"Buu."
"If I go hit Beerus on the head, he won't do anything to me. Want to see?"
"No," Bardock said at once.
"I'll show you."
"Buu, don't."
Buu was already walking.
Bardock reached out, then stopped. Beerus had just moved toward Ken and Merus's table, and cutting Buu off now would only make the situation louder. Besides, a small, irresponsible part of him wanted to know whether Buu was actually stupid enough to try it.
The answer, unfortunately, was yes.
Beerus had reached Ken and Merus by then. Both were in Angel attire, so even Beerus, who had only just woken up and had food on his mind, could tell what they were.
"You two are Whis's younger brothers?" he asked, tapping Merus on the shoulder.
Merus straightened immediately. "I'm Merus, Whis-nii's younger brother. This is Ken. He isn't related to Whis-nii."
Beerus studied Ken while chewing on fried chicken. Nothing about the grown man in front of him stirred the memory of the child he had met long ago. As far as Beerus was concerned, this was just some Angel who had appeared naturally in the universe.
"So you were born on your own out here?" Beerus asked.
Ken smiled. "That's right."
Beerus gave a faint hum and moved on. Apprentice Angels were usually somewhere around level 40, far below a true God of Destruction. Even if this one had an unusual origin, Beerus saw no reason to care unless the Grand Priest cared first.
"What are you doing in Universe 6?" Beerus asked, mostly because the question was easier to ask than think about.
"I'm training with the Galactic Patrol in Universe 7," Merus said.
"Galactic Patrol…" Beerus tapped his chin. "Right. The peacekeeping group."
He reached for a slice of pizza, took a bite, and immediately liked it enough to forget half the conversation. The crust, the cheese, the sauce—Earth food kept ambushing him from every direction.
Still, one question had followed him down from space.
"By the way," Beerus said, turning the pizza in his hand, "why is there a wormhole on Universe 7's Earth?"
Buu's fist came down on his head before anyone answered.
The hit was hard enough to make Beerus bite wrong. The pizza slid down his throat, his tongue nearly caught between his teeth, and for one terrifying second the birthday party came very close to ending.
Merus stared at Buu in silent horror.
Ken looked over, then noticed Buu wink at him.
Ah.
So that was what he was doing.
Years ago, Ken had told Buu and Broly a dumb old joke about hitting someone by pretending to mistake them for another person. Buu had remembered it and chosen Beerus as his target.
Ken was not sure whether to be proud or concerned.
Maybe both.
"Big fat cat Champa!" Buu cried, throwing his arms around Beerus before Beerus could fully explode. "I knew it was you! You lost weight, but I still found you!"
Beerus's rage hit a wall.
Being hit was unforgivable.
Being mistaken for Champa was also unforgivable.
But it was, technically, a different offense.
Beerus shoved Buu away and pointed to his own face. "Look properly, you idiot. I'm Beerus. Beerus. Not that fat cat Champa. Were you asleep when Whis introduced me?"
Buu leaned in, studied him with exaggerated seriousness, and finally nodded. "Oh. You really aren't him."
"Of course I'm not!"
"I wasn't listening before."
"Then listen next time!" Beerus snapped. "And stop interrupting my meal."
Buu scratched his head. "Sorry. I really thought you were the fat cat. You can hit me back if you want."
Beerus glanced at Buu's smooth head. The offer was tempting, but the food on the table smelled better than revenge.
"Forget it. Go away."
"Sorry, sorry."
Buu returned to Bardock looking unbearably pleased with himself.
Bardock stared at him. "That worked?"
"I told you it would." Buu sat down and resumed eating as if he had not just punched one of the most dangerous gods in existence.
Bardock laughed under his breath despite himself.
A minute later, Buu leaned in again. "If I hit him one more time, he still won't do anything."
"No," Bardock said. "The first time worked because he believed you made a mistake. Do it again and he'll break every tooth in your head."
"Watch."
Buu stood again.
Bardock raised a hand, fully intending to stop him this time.
Then he lowered it.
Curiosity was a terrible thing.
Beerus had already wandered off. Between the pizza, the sweets, and whatever hot dishes the robots were carrying around, the wormhole question had slipped out of his mind. He followed the smell of something new to Goku's table, where Goku was eating a bowl of noodles with the kind of concentration most people reserved for battle.
"What is that?" Beerus asked.
Goku swallowed and grinned. "Tomato-egg noodles. They're really good."
Krillin wiped at his forehead. "It's just tomato-egg noodles, Goku."
"I haven't had a bowl this good in forever." Goku tipped the bowl, drank the soup, and licked his lips. "Too small, though."
Krillin glanced toward the chef robot nearby, his face turning awkwardly red. "The noodles are good. It's just… watching that robot make them is kind of hard."
Goku tilted his head. "Why are you blushing?"
"It's embarrassing."
Goku understood none of that, but Beerus understood the important part: the noodles were good, and there were more.
"Where do I get one?" Beerus asked.
Goku pointed. "Ask that chef robot."
The robot in question looked almost exactly like a beautiful woman, which explained why Master Roshi and Oolong had been orbiting her all afternoon with suspicious levels of interest. She smiled sweetly when Beerus approached.
"Give me a bowl of tomato-egg noodles," Beerus said.
"Yes, Beerus-sama."
Something hummed inside the robot. Then she opened her mouth and produced a tiny bowl of noodles, steam curling up from the broth as she held it out with the same flawless smile. A bit of tomato-red soup clung to the corner of her lips.
"Please enjoy."
Beerus stared.
Only for a moment.
It was a machine. A strange machine, but still a machine. Gods of Destruction did not get squeamish over kitchen equipment.
He pushed Oolong aside, took the bowl, and tried one bite.
The noodles vanished almost immediately.
The bowl was tiny, barely more than a mouthful, but the taste hit him hard: warm broth, soft egg, bright tomato, simple and absurdly satisfying. Beerus drank the soup too, clicked his tongue, and was already reaching for another serving when Oolong shoved his way back in.
"My turn! You cut in line."
Beerus glanced down at him. The pig had been standing there first.
Fine.
"You like the noodles too?" Beerus asked.
Oolong's face went red. "Not the noodles. I like watching her make them."
Beerus stared at him.
Oolong nudged Beerus with an elbow and grinned as if they had reached some deep understanding. "Same kind of guy, huh?"
Beerus gave him nothing.
Oolong had just taken the next bowl when Buu came up behind Beerus and brought his fist down again.
This time, Oolong nearly dropped the noodles and his soul at the same time.
Buu laughed brightly. "There you are, big fat cat! I found you again!"
[End of chapter]
[100 Power Stones = Extra Chapter]
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