Ryan walked onto a set that was brimming with energy after the announcement that Kevin Spacey and Jeremy Irons would shoot a scene together. Kevin Spacey walked into an office room filled with coffee and glazed donuts, which had a mesmerizing view: titans of skyscrapers in Midtown Manhattan. Ryan sat down to review his lines when Kevin walked up to him.
"J.C. kept telling me what a young gem he found. At 21, l was still backstage at Juilliard having wet dreams of being a star." Spacey radiated charm with his playful humor.
"I still have a lot to learn. American Beauty is one of my favorite films," Ryan replied with unease due to his future knowledge regarding Spacey.
"Really? You want a funny story? The first two days of filming, I asked Sam what he thought of the dailies. You know what he said? 'I hate it. I hate how Smiley looks. I hate that you're inside it. I hate your acting in it.' Then he decided to reshoot all of it. So l think you're doing better than l did."
Kevin and Ryan both chuckled as J.C. called out Kevin's name to shoot the men's room scene with Jeremy.
Ryan stayed near the monitor to watch. There was something strange about seeing two actors he had watched in movies for years standing a few feet away and preparing like it was any other day at work. Jeremy quietly read through the scene while Kevin talked to J.C. about where he should stand.
Then the cameras rolled and both men changed.
As Ryan watched both Jeremy and Kevin act, he realized the importance of silence in acting. The brief pauses Kevin took to look down at the piece of paper to contemplate his loyalty to John. The silent desperation that Jeremy showed as he put his head on the bathroom wall, realizing the enormity of the challenge ahead. The scene subtly influenced his acting technique and his insights into the players of Wall Street.
There were no huge movements or screams. Jeremy could just lean against a wall and make the entire room understand what his character was thinking. Ryan had always believed a great actor needed to show emotion, but now he realized sometimes it was more than enough to hide it.
He watched Jeremy's hands. His breathing. The few seconds he waited before responding.
Ryan wanted to remember all of it.
They would do anything to keep the firm alive, keep the game still going. Money will always motivate them and it does. Seth is blinded by that.
J.C. clapped his hands and called, "Alright! Let's reset for the next setup!"
Ryan snapped back to the present. His scene was next.
He stood up, rolled his shoulders, and took a breath.
Time to work.
The scene was the audition take that Ryan was asked to do by Susan weeks ago. Ryan was sitting on the toilet and getting ready for the emotional scene ahead. Seth realized moments ago that he would be let go by the firm. J.C. put the camera close to his face and smiled at Ryan.
"Start when you're ready."
The crew clicked into place like a well-oiled machine, and they all looked at Ryan.
For a few seconds, Ryan didn't move.
The bathroom set suddenly felt much smaller with the camera that close. He could see Frank behind it and J.C. watching the monitor. Ryan lowered his head and put his hands together.
He didn't want to force himself to cry.
He just had to remember.
Ryan was brought back to that phone call announcing his adopted mother's death, as if his real parents' deaths were a curse to all his family members. It was as if his life was a tragic play. He was at his highest moment but was brought back down by fate.
Seth too was at his highest, the prime of his life, climbing the Wall Street ladder. My life and Seth is all about wanting one thing, control. To control our success, our promotions, and to have no setbacks. But that is an impossible task, and l realize now that l will always lose my battles with fate. I will never know why l was sent back, just be grateful.
Tears came out of Ryan's eyes as he brought Seth to life. It wasn't the huge sobs that Ryan did in the audition room but something so much more layered. The clenched teeth, his lifeless hand on his head, and his blue eyes that conveyed one thing: a man quietly begging for the world to pause.
The crew was completely silent.
Just moments ago, they had seen Jeremy's defeated face against the bathroom wall. A perfect scene from a pro that showed the message of the film: the little control that even the big players of Wall Street had in the face of the markets. But Ryan's performance showcased a universal feeling that a 21-year-old rookie should not have been able to convey. The film was made for the audience to look down on Jeremy's and the other big players' pride that started the financial crisis. Now, the audience could understand them as people because of Ryan's authenticity. The crew realized this shift just through this one performance and was moved by it.
J.C. whispered, "Cut."
Nobody moved immediately.
Ryan wiped his face with the back of his hand. Coming out of the scene took him a few seconds. He looked around and remembered that the bathroom wasn't real, the people outside weren't being fired, and Seth Bregman didn't exist.
J.C. looked back at the monitor.
"That was good."
Ryan looked up at the camera and got up from the toilet. He nodded to J.C. and the other crew members before he went to an office room to prepare for another scene.
He grabbed a bottle of water and sat down. His eyes still felt warm from crying, and he took several long breaths while looking over his next pages. He didn't want to think too much about what had just happened. There was another scene to shoot.
Zachary walked through the door, his voice low. "I watched the playback. I would have gone big, but you let it burn slowly. Nice job."
"Thanks."
Ryan looked back down at his script, but he couldn't stop a small smile from appearing.
Then a voice echoed in the hallway.
"Scene 47. Ryan and Paul. 10 minutes. Outside in the car."
Ryan closed the script and stood up. The sadness from the previous scene was still somewhere inside him, but now he needed to get rid of it. Seth wasn't crying anymore. He was going back into the world that had just rejected him.
Ryan slowly walked out and was ready to control his own fate as much as he could.