"I wasn't asking for permission." I strangely look at him from my comfort zone of fixing my eyes. WHAT?! I could not manage my eyes to become wider. You just have no right to force me. I could not mention it.
He leans down and kisses my jaw. I was still holding my expression up, wide to think for a moment a. Like, excuse me? He keeps kissing my left and right jaw. I was feeling so uncomfortable. I get back myself and push him, shoving his shoulders away. "L-leno. Can we just, just wait for a day? I mean, to-tomorrow you can, b-but not today. Alright?" I was trying hard to stop him from doing it. I do not know about tomorrow, but until it, I can make a plan. He leans over and sits on his knees, which were put on both sides of my legs. I was still averting his shoulders with my palms. I do not know when I look at him, I see his cheeks have been clenched from the inside. What was the matter to be angry about? He holds both my hands tightly and moves them from his shoulders while meeting my eyes with his lower eyelids. He grips my wrist and thrusts it down and fastens it to the bed, beside the pillows. He clasped both my wrists with his hands on the bed. I was widely looking at him. He has no right to get things in that way.
I shouted out over him, "LENO-" "Shhhhh." He says to me and leans down. He kissed me on the jaw and neck. I was looking over, finding no reason why he was doing it. What's wrong with him? I was so shocked. What was actually going on between us?
I could feel his exhale over my cheeks. His lips, were rubbing my skin. He keeps kissing me all the way back. I can hear the soundtracks, feel the things I never wanted. My breathing was slowly approaching high. I did not want it to reach the level. I wanted to control my breath and disposition, and I failed. I was feeling his warm expiration flowing over my body, his soft touches of lips and jaws, while he was cupping my neck. I could not take it for longer, my breath was rising quickly. I can not control my belly's fluctuation. Mind's vicissitudes weren't listening to mine. My breath wants to stop it. "Leno. It's, it's enou-" I could not finish my line as he locked his lips with mine. He kissed it all the way, did not let me speak, let alone breathe. He kissed me, smooching his lips with mine, amorously, and did not stop. I do not know why I was feeling him.
After some seconds, he unleashed my lips. Only I got my breath with his, colliding together in the gap. He unfastened my wrists and again put pressure on his knuckles. I was gasping for some air. Maybe for the first time, I moaned. I was hating the sounds coming from my aspirations. I was trying to stop it. I kept my eyes closed. Neither can I meet his eyes, nor will he listen to mine. I feel his hands move from bed to my waist. I was feeling the fingertips over my nightrobe's ribbon. I slowly opened my eyes to look at it, as he was unbinding the knot of my dress. No, just stop. It has been enough. I, in a rush, hold his hand to make him stop. But he again grabbed both my wrists with his one hand and pulled them away from there. Seriously? I had no strength in my body! In the meantime, while breathing, I met his eyes. He again leaned over me and kissed my lips and cheeks. "Let me." He whispers in my ear with a low, breathable voice. I was gasping, still, finding no words. I was, with my eyes closed, searching the bed sheet to hold. He unfastened my hands as I rested them on both sides. For a moment, I felt like he was looking at me. What was he even thinking? He should not have gotten things in that way, he should have listened to me, he should not have forced me... There were a lot of things, that a husband, should have varied, as he did not choose to be.
I again looked at him, his breathing mouth was hanging up on me, asking for a silent permission. I moved my eyes, I can not hold my eyes with his for long. I nod as 'Yes.'