"We had a plan. We spent hours talking about it, finally figured out what we were gonna do," Danzō said, dragging everyone back to that meeting from a few days ago. "And the second you hit a wall, your first move is always to back out."
He was taking a shot at Hōmura, out of all of them, Hōmura was clearly the softest. And neither of the other two were about to jump in and defend him.
Seeing how things were going, Hōmura could only give a wry smile. "I'm just stating the obvious here. But if nobody wants to hear it, I've got nothing else to say."
He figured he had a point, but it wasn't worth fighting over.
"So… what do you think Azula's next move is?" Koharu asked, tossing out the question that had been nagging at her.
Surprisingly, Danzō was the one who answered. "Do you even have to ask? She's definitely going to use this chance to lean on us."
He put extra weight on "us" because this wasn't just some Azula-versus-Hiruzen thing. It was the new generation, with Azula as their spear, going up against the old generation, which was them.
"I don't think she's gonna try to pressure us," Hiruzen said. "Knowing her, she'll either make a move or she won't. But playing this kind of politics is just not her style."
After mulling it over, Danzō gave a little nod, agreeing with Hiruzen. "Yeah, you're right. That Uchiha doesn't have the patience for that."
Then he sat there trying to figure out what Azula would do next, but he had absolutely no clue.
"Trying to predict her is a lost cause," Hiruzen said, thinking back on her greatest hits. "Her brain runs on pure chaos. We're better off focusing on how to lock down that contract with Kumo first, then figure out what moves we actually need to make."
He was feeling that familiar tug-of-war again.
On one hand, she'd saved the village from a whole mess of trouble that would've been a nightmare to deal with.
On the other hand… deep down, he kinda wished it hadn't happened, because then at least things would still feel under control.
"I'll go to Kumo," Danzō said. The tone made it clear: this wasn't a suggestion.
Not even to Hiruzen.
_If I go, I'll make the Raikage sign that treaty myself. No way this stays hidden, under any circumstances, this is a major win that'll do wonders for my reputation._
That was his thinking, and Hiruzen could pretty much read it on his face.
Still, he didn't really have another option. When he ran through the village in his head, he couldn't think of anyone more reliable for this mission than Danzō.
_And honestly, it's not like this deal only helps Danzō's reputation, it helps mine too, overall. At least it's better than having no good option at all._ He told himself, in a desperate attempt to feel better.
Koharu and Hōmura didn't raise any objections. None of them thought they could pull off something like this, and if they tried and failed, the fallout would be ugly.
Then it hit Hiruzen: the crisis that had him all twisted up inside… maybe it wasn't even a real crisis. _Surely the Raikage isn't stubborn enough to actually stick to that ridiculous demand. Right?_
While Hiruzen was trying very hard to convince himself that the Raikage wouldn't be that stubborn, halfway across the continent, another man was having the exact same crisis, just from the opposite direction.
•••
Hiruzen had a headache. Onoki, though was straight-up desperate. The guy was living through the absolute worst days of his whole career as Tsuchikage.
And yeah, that included the time he got his butt kicked and put on defense by a fourteen-year-old girl.
"Did Azula knock A so stupid that he actually got dumber," he muttered, not even trying to keep his thoughts quiet, "or was he always just a coward pretending to be tough?"
Back in Iwa, Onoki was the undisputed top dog. Not just because the First Tsuchikage was his dad and the Second was his teacher, but also because of that broken Kekkei Tota of his.
So yeah, the Iwa council, all those high-ranking officials and elders sat there in dead silence. Which, honestly, kind of annoyed him.
_Why can't I ever get lively ninjas like Azula, Tsunade, or Jiraiya?_ he grumbled to himself, as he did pretty much every day. _Why do they keep popping up over in Konoha?_
He'd love to have some wild, chaotic talent like that. Someone bold enough to bomb the Kage Tower if they felt like it. But he knew it was just a fantasy.
After a few seconds of him not saying anything, someone finally broke the silence. "So… since Konoha and Kumo might actually sign a deal, what's our move?"
That was the real question, because they'd realized Iwa didn't exactly have a ton of options.
"Should we threaten Kumo?" offered some bald elder whose name Onoki made a point of forgetting. "Tell A that if he signs with Konoha, we'll take it as an act of aggression?"
Despite himself, Onoki let out a laugh. "Threaten the Raikage? With what, exactly? Our armies that are currently sitting around hoping Azula doesn't decide to take a sightseeing trip to the Land of Earth?"
He gave the elder a flat look. "You really want to give Konoha and Kumo even more reasons to speed-run this alliance?"
The bald elder shut up pretty quick after that.
A younger voice spoke up, one of the tactical advisors. "Then we approach Konoha first. Offer a non-aggression pact, trade concessions, something to keep them from boxing us out completely."
"Non-aggression pact?" Onoki repeated. "Against a potential Uchiha Kage? Are you all trying to make me laugh, or did you just skip the psychological evaluations on Azula Uchiha?"
The advisor opened his mouth. Then thought better of it.
Onoki sighed. And this was the problem, his people were great at following orders, solid at executing plans.
But when it came time to actually make the plan? When the situation called for audacity, for creativity, for the kind of thinking that bent rules until they screamed?
They all just looked at him.
_If I had Azula on my team, she'd already have three plans in her mind up, each one crazier than the last and somehow, one of them would actually work._
That's when the oldest guy on the council, Kamizuru finally spoke up. A fossil who'd been around since the First Tsuchikage was in charge.
He cleared his throat, and the room went quiet.
"If I may, Lord Tsuchikage." His voice was soft, but it had that kind of weight only decades of surviving stupid political nonsense gives you. "There's one option nobody's had the guts to say out loud."
Ōnoki raised an eyebrow. "Go on."
"That treaty between Konoha and Kumo comes down to one man. Not the terms, not the political chess game, not even Azula's power display. It's the Raikage. Specifically, whether he's willing to swallow his pride after getting beaten." He let that hang in the air for a second.
"Now… what happens if the Raikage suddenly isn't in the picture anymore? Everything falls apart. Kumo's next in line is the jinchuriki, the guy who just watched his brother get humiliated. He's young, he's furious and he's never agreeing to this treaty. And with Kumo's war hawks already circling? That alliance dies before it even takes its first breath."
Ōnoki already saw where this was headed. "So you're suggesting we replay the whole Second Raikage and Hokage situation. Except that's never happening again."
"And besides," someone added, "if the Raikage catches a stray kunai under these circumstances? Azula's going to look straight at us. And for some people in this room… that's all it would take."
Nobody said it out loud, but somewhere along the way, they'd all started acting like Azula was the one calling the shots instead of Hiruzen.
Ōnoki pressed on, not even realizing it himself. "Even in a perfect world, someone like the Raikage doesn't just get assassinated. It's not happening."
But the more this meeting dragged on, the more Ōnoki felt his soul slowly leave his body.
He sat there, quietly disappointed, wondering if the so-called "wisdom" of his advisors had ever actually existed or if he'd just imagined it out of sheer desperation.
(END OF THE CHAPTER)
Did someone got the reference for the title?