I woke up slowly.
The same sorrow I've been feeling since this damned hell began, but it was different. I couldn't breathe; a terrible pressure rested on my neck. A pain that sought to suffocate, pierce, kill...
I tried to move, and suddenly, I fell.
The impact echoed so strongly that my body remained numb for a while.
When I properly regained consciousness, I noticed it: a piece of rope around my neck, and on the ceiling the rest of it, now broken...
—I... wanted to...?
No... Why?
I looked around me. The apartment, my apartment.
In my pocket... a letter...
Soft, full of emotion...
I remembered.
I had written it before hanging myself, as a farewell...
The softness of the letter turned into a feeling of unease.
...
I checked the front door... it was open. I checked the bathroom, and there was nothing...
I opened the windows that were now visible to me.
After such a long time, I could finally contemplate the outside world perfectly. The beauty of the surroundings, the calm, everything I longed for...
—...
The silence of my voice...
—My room...
There she was, my little girl... sleeping peacefully...
It was at that moment that my heart began to race.
—Emily...
Resting in her crib, beside her sweet lullaby music...
—Forgive me, little one. Forgive me for trying to leave you alone...
—Forgive me for abandoning you.
Tears overflowed from my eyes directly onto my little girl's soft face, waking her up...
—Waaah! Waaah!
—Waaah! Waaah! Waaah! Waaah!
The cries began, piercing my ears.
—I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake—
—Waaah! Waaah! Waaah! Waaah! Waaah! Waaah!
The screams started again. They no longer pierced—they shattered. Without rest, my little girl would not stop.
I held her close, trying to soothe her, but it didn't work.
—Waaah! Waaah!
I walked through the entire apartment trying to calm her.
—Waaah! Waaah! Waaah! Waaah!
Again and again...
Once more...
Without stopping, without slowing down...
The cries, the screams would not cease. But a photograph in the dining room calmed her.
—Sniff, sniff!
The screams stopped...
Calm arrived gently.
—Do you miss her too...?
—Sniff, sniff!
Only soft sobs remained as she stretched out her hands trying to grab the picture of her mother.
She never knew her, but she knew perfectly well that this was the woman who gave her life...
—Haha.
She let out a gentle laugh as she held her mother in her hands...
At that moment I picked up my little girl and lifted her into the air.
—Hahaha.
The smile of my little princess softened my heart with her mere presence. Her eyes were the same beautiful brown eyes her mother had...
...
Just having her close, just looking at her...
Tears slowly flowed from my eyes...
—You are... the love of my life.
—...
—Everything I have...
—And everything I am...
—Is yours... forever.
I brought her close and gently kissed her forehead.
—I will never abandon you.
—I love you, my little princess...
...
...
—Da...
—Dad...
—Da... dad...
—Haha.
...
At the moment my little girl spoke her first words... I remembered...
A fleeting memory, the last thing I remembered before hanging myself... before living through the nightmares. A warning of what I had tried to do...
—I will never leave you alone again...
I remembered that letter...
"Forgive me, darling. I know it's been a while since I last wrote to you, but I still want to give you this letter to apologize.
I promised to be a great husband. I promised to be an excellent father. But I haven't been able to fulfill either role, and honestly, I don't believe I'm capable of it.
I tried to cope with your loss. I tried to raise our daughter alone, but every day I dreamed of you and woke up to screams. I haven't slept well in months, and even when I managed to... I only relived the same thing over and over. If only I had stopped you, if only it hadn't happened... if only we hadn't taken that trip...
If we had never met, maybe you would still be alive. If we hadn't gotten engaged in that beautiful ceremonial forest, perhaps...
Just perhaps, you would have a better life now. One where you would live perfectly happy for years...
For several months I was trapped in the same nightmares and memories. I even sold our house to try to make a fresh start; the house was too big without you...
I went to visit you with our little girl. I tried to move forward... for you, for Emily...
The rage was eating me alive. There were moments when hatred controlled me, when I no longer recognized myself. My little girl was in danger in my hands. Little by little I began to hate her...
I can't take it anymore. I can't go on like this. The screams, the crying, the expenses... I can't.
It's too much...
Forgive me, darling.
You're going to hate me for abandoning our little girl, but I can't do this anymore. It's what's best for her. Being far away from me is the safest thing. I don't want my anger to end up hurting her.
The rope... awaits me.
I love you."