On the plane, Kasenhis quietly took his seat.
Hufflepuff's Cup had been built into his silver hip flask, continuously supplying him with alcohol.
Sitting beside him were two men who looked strange.
"Gentlemen, have we... met somewhere before?" Kasenhis asked faintly as he lowered his flask.
The two men immediately snapped awake.
They instantly put their linguistic talents to work and replied in Japanese, "Kon'nichiwa and sorry, we don't understand what you're saying."
Kasenhis raised an eyebrow and answered in Japanese as well.
"Perfect. I speak Japanese too as a side effect of watching a lot of Detective Conan. I was asking whether we've met somewhere before. You two look unusually familiar."
The two exchanged a glance.
They really didn't want to have any kind of conversation with this Death Eater killing machine.
So they hurriedly activated an even more ridiculous level of linguistic talent. In that moment, it was as though even their genetic locks could no longer restrain their brains.
"Lo siento, we're... Spanish. We're flying to America to transfer flights. We don't understand what you're saying."
Kasenhis raised an eyebrow and switched to Spanish.
"Lindo! What a coincidence. I speak Spanish too. That was actually the elective I took at university."
"Oh... alright. Then we really are quite fated to meet," one of them said awkwardly.
Though honestly, he already regretted opening his mouth.
Why the hell did this damn Death Eater killing machine know so many languages?
If he had known earlier, he might as well have just used English.
Then he wouldn't be stuck here right now, forcing himself to say all this nonsense in his half-baked Spanish.
Fuck!
"My name is Kasenhis. And you two are...?" Kasenhis introduced himself first.
"Oh... my name is Puta."
"This humble one is Merde."
For once, Kasenhis looked genuinely awkward.
"You two are... from which country?"
"Spain, Spain. Authentic red-and-yellow flag people," Puta explained.
"Oh... your names are certainly distinctive," Kasenhis said, pursing his lips.
"Yeah, they are... definitely distinctive."
"Have you two ever been to England before?" Kasenhis asked.
"No, no. Absolutely not."
Both of them hurriedly shook their heads.
"But didn't you board this plane in England?" Kasenhis asked with a raised eyebrow.
"How could that be? We boarded in Antarctica," Merde replied.
Kasenhis smiled, assuming they were joking.
"What are you going to America for?"
Puta asked back, "What about you?"
"Visiting friends. I have two friends there right now."
"We're transferring flights. We're going to see the grasslands," Merde replied as well.
"Which grasslands?" Kasenhis asked.
"The Mongolian grasslands. Öndörkhaan," Merde answered.
"That grassland..." Kasenhis raised an eyebrow. "That place isn't very auspicious."
Puta and Merde both looked over curiously.
"How so?"
"Planes tend to crash there~" Kasenhis said faintly.
Puta and Merde exchanged a glance and both smiled.
"A plane crash is fine. We're not afraid."
"Exactly. We're not afraid of plane crashes."
"Forget a plane crash. Even if someone showed up right now with a gun, hijacked the plane remotely, and flew it straight into a reinforced-concrete structure, we still wouldn't be afraid."
Kasenhis smiled as well.
"Fair enough."
But the moment he finished smiling, it felt like a durian had gotten into his eye.
He hurriedly stood up.
"I'm going to the bathroom."
"Mm-hm."
After Kasenhis left his seat, Puta and Merde exchanged another glance.
The former spoke first.
"So? Want to run while we've got the chance?"
The latter shrugged.
"Looks like he didn't recognise us. Let's just leave it like this. At least I think he's a decent person."
"Alright, then."
The two had barely reached an agreement when, before they could even relax...
Bang!
"Hijacking!"
...
Inside the bathroom, Kasenhis finished washing his face and let out a breath.
He pulled out his flask, took a sip, put his monocle back on, and walked out.
Then he saw a group of armed men hijacking the plane.
Puta and Merde, sitting beside his seat, were whispering something to each other with their heads lowered.
At that moment, the two of them also saw Kasenhis.
"Well, the Death Eater killing machine is out. Guess we don't need to save the plane anymore," Puta muttered with a shrug before sitting back down obediently.
Merde nodded as well.
"I was actually hoping we could play the hero for once, like in those knight novels. Maybe we'd even make the news afterward."
At that moment, the terrorists noticed Kasenhis too.
To be fair, both his timing and position were incredibly convenient.
Right now, they needed to kill someone to make the other passengers behave.
But shooting someone sitting in a seat carried the risk of hitting others, punching through multiple people, or damaging a window.
Kasenhis, standing alone in the aisle beside the bathroom, was an excellent target.
With that thought, one of the hijackers immediately pulled out a pistol, aimed at Kasenhis's chest, and pulled the trigger.
Bang!
The crowd instantly erupted into chaos.
But very quickly, fear pressed them back into silence.
Kasenhis lowered his head, looked at the small hole in his chest, then raised his head again with an eyebrow arched.
"You... how are you still standing?" the gunman asked in utter disbelief.
Kasenhis shrugged.
"I usually like to have a drink or two. Unfortunately for you, you just shot me in the liver."
After saying something that didn't sound remotely human, he suddenly vanished from the spot.
When he reappeared, he was already standing directly in front of the terrorist.
Then he punched him.
...
"Bye, Puta. Bye, Merde."
At the airport entrance, Kasenhis waved goodbye to the two of them, then turned and got into the car Peanut had driven over.
Holmes was sitting in the passenger seat, humming to himself as he read a newspaper.
Kasenhis sat down in the back and let out a relieved breath.
"Honestly, doing a good deed feels pretty nice."
"New friends?" Holmes asked faintly.
"More or less. We talked the whole flight. Got along pretty well," Kasenhis said with a shrug.
"Mm... so what did you come to find us for this time?" Holmes asked again.
"Ahem. This time, I actually have a proper favour to ask."
___
Spanish:Puta (Bitch)
French: Merde (shit)
(～￣▽￣)～Read 12 Chapters ahead:
Patreon: Dragonel