"Fudge. I'm bored. So bored I could die."
Tap, tap, tap.
Capybory Rambuloli, a capybara with a half hairy rambutan body, leaped high above and performed [Rambu Slam].
> "Fall into hell," in capybara noises.
Pizzanini Tortellini, a turtle with a pepperoni pizza shell, dodged the [Rambu Slam] and countered with a [Turp Shredder].
> "Don't get cocky with me," in turtle noises.
The counter launched Capybory into the air. A flashy pop-up text appeared on the screen:
PUNISH!
Pizzanini revved like an engine, the pepperoni in its pizza carapace spun round and round. It performed [Turp Engine].
Bolting forward at a high speed like a 1000cc superbike, Pizzanini slammed Capybory into the wall of the arena.
WALL SPLAT!
As expected, Pizzanini followed up with a juggle combo.
HIT! HIT! HIT!
Three clean hits landed. Pizzanini performed a combo ender, a [Sage Art] called [Turp Infinite Rizz].
Sage arts were the ultimate ability each of the 100 characters of the game possessed. No two ultimates were identical.
It triggered a cinematic scene.
A halo formed above Pizzanini's head, its color a mixture of red and black. A left wing of the same color also grew out on its back.
Flapping that single wing, dark purgatorial flames instantly ignited the arena like a flaming wrath of a fallen deity. It engulfed everything.
K.O.!
PERFECT!
Before the incarcerated Capybory could fall on the ground, Pizzanini grabbed it by the collar and let out a smug giggle.
> "Pitiful," in turtle noises.
A golden pop-up text flashed on the screen. The announcer declared the result of the match.
YOU WIN!
Still clutching the controller, Seojin sighed.
"Dammit, what a joke. Is there really no single thing left in this world that can get my blood pumping?"
His indigo-colored eyes were filled with the scribbles of worms, wriggling like a snake game of a keypad phone.
"At least show me something interesting."
Minutes passed.
Seojin slouched, then slumped, checked the clock, did a quick shadowboxing, doodled a stickman in a paper, and finally let out an uninspired sigh.
Later that same hour, Seojin had a glazed look as he held his phone.
His fingers were fidgety, but none of those fingers tapped the light novel app icon where his thumb hovered above.
"I can't believe this damned thing ended last week."
Gaming was only his third hobby; sleeping and reading novels came first—the novel he had been reading for the past 7 years finally ended.
Now, he was left with nothing to read.
"Dammit."
Tap.
Opening the forum app instead, his face contorted as he read the post of the author of that novel.
[Pinned by Author] Hypothetical Question
> If you were given a chance to live in this world as a new character, who would you be, and what talent would you possess?
> The first reply will automatically become the drawback of that character. Don't even think of replying to your own comment. Oh-oh. I have my ways to know.
[Comments: 76]
"Heh. This is so childish."
A shitpost, something to gain traffic and trick the algorithm. The author must've thought of the readers as toddlers.
Ironic though, there were 76 of them. Replies didn't count.
Seojin, on the other hand, has yet to comment not because he had no ideal character but because he didn't feel like doing it.
He scrolled through the comments.
[Xiana] Xiana, a pretty furry with a perfect body. Seductive charm.
-> [Vainy] is a femboy :3
-> [Xiana] Even better!
He instantly closed the forum and rubbed his eyes, trying to erase the abomination he had just seen.
Growl~
"Ah. I forgot that I haven't eaten a proper meal for a month now."
The fridge only had dozens of canned soda with zero sugar, his preference. The shelves only had— oh, nothing. The cups of instant ramen he had been eating for the past month ran out.
He was far too lazy to head down and buy some decent meals. Even ordering online seemed like a hassle.
Yet now, he had no other choice.
"Yawn. What a pain."
Seojin was turning heads on his walk to the convenience store. But he was too glued to his phone to even notice the stares.
Apparently, he was busy typing a comment to that cringe and childish post of the author earlier.
Tap, tap.
[Seojin] Seojin, looks like me and is a genius like me. Any genius skill.
Tap.
He posted the comment with a smug grin.
[Comments: 77]
I mean, what's the point of having a power of invincibility except for the family jewels? Is that the same as Achilles dipped in the river of Styx but held in the wrong spot?
A vague comment like a genius in all aspects was a hundred times better, especially since he even referenced himself.
Truth be told, Seojin had inherited the best of the genes.
His mother, Yoon Nari, is the current top model appearing throughout the world magazines. Nari is also notorious for having a total of seven husbands.
His biological father, Yi Jinhwan, is a renowned lawyer that has earned dozens of accolades from international legal institutions.
Seojin was pretty sure he was miles ahead of his peers.
Honestly, he had the bragging rights. His storage room was packed with boxes of medals from graduating top of his class ever since.
Too bad none of those medals saved him from dropping out two years ago, lacking motivation to follow either of his parents' fields of specialization.
And so, here was his current situation:
Eundunhyeong oetori.
His parents were playing hardball too, capping his weekly allowance at the absolute bare minimum.
It was barely enough for the essentials, and it would stay that way until he went back to college.
Arriving at the convenience store, Seojin grabbed a cup of instant ramen and made his way to the counter.
Ding!
A notification buzzed from his phone.
[Seojin] Seojin, looks like me and is a genius like me. Any genius skill.
-> [SIX SEVEN] Skibidi Sigma Rizz Sus Gyatt Ohio NPC
"That comes to fifteen hundred won, sir. Do you need to purchase a plastic bag? That'll be an extra hundred won."
The cashier finished ringing up the cup of instant ramen and tapped a few keys on the register.
But Seojin didn't hear a word.
All he could think about was the reply to his comment, the mindless absurdity of someone with such an immature brain.
Even the replies after that were also ridiculous:
-> [itsnotron] MF wutt? :wiltedrose:
-> [ΩCe2] Can I draw your thighs? xXx
-> [NineEleven] B-b-buildings?! Crassshhh!!!
-> [sonikcreep] are you a hedgehog? can i lick your feet????
-> [LegendBot3000] @sonikcreep, 50 dollars per foot pic bro, deal?
-> [ChoVisuals] Hello! I'm a commissioned artist. If you liked reading this story and feel naturally inspired to write one, I can help you with adaptations. My mail account is always open: chovisuals@golugoludotkom. Best regards, Cho.
Looking at Seojin deeply immersed in his phone, the cashier leaned slightly forward, expecting a response anytime soon.
"What the hell is wrong with these unhinged people? They should be wiping their own asses instead of—?"
"Pardon me, sir?"
The cashier cut him off. Her polite smile was entirely frozen as the customer's response was unlike what she had expected.
Seojin's eyes flicked up from his phone and to the cashier's expression.
Triggered by the ridiculous replies, he ended up muttering an expletive without much of a thought.
"Ah."
Seojin cleared his throat.
"My bad. I got... a bit distracted. How much is the ramen again?"
"Fifteen hundred won, sir. Will you be paying with cash or card?"
"Card."
"Please insert it into the reader right here."
"Aight."
Seojin pulled a card attached to the case of his phone and slid it through the reader.
Beep!
A red light flashed on the monitor. Insufficient balance. He then patted his pockets, only to realize his actual wallet was sitting on his desk at home.
'Shit. I'm in a bit of a tight spot.'
Left with no other choice, he tried using his ultimate ability and gave the cashier a charming smile.
"Hey, look. Could you cover this just once? I'll leave you my number. I promise it'll be worth your trouble."
"I am truly sorry, sir, but I cannot do that."
The cashier didn't even blink, her expression remained completely flat.
Seojin's pride took a heavy blow but his empty stomach forced him to push further.
"How about a dinner tomorrow? My treat. We can go anywhere you want."
Tomorrow was Monday, the glorious day his parents wired him the usual minuscule weekly allowance.
Sacrificing a fraction of it to invite a pretty girl to dinner seemed like a perfectly reasonable trade.
The cashier let out a long and heavy sigh.
"I am truly sorry again, sir, but I cannot do that. I have a boyfriend. Please step outside before I have to call the cops."
"..."
Seojin stepped out of the convenience store empty handed. He kicked a random stone on the pavement.
"Tch. It's just a cup of instant ramen, what's the big deal?"
Clutching his phone, Seojin thought of asking his mother to send the allowance tonight instead.
Ding!
7
But a single number appeared on the screen, even when he has yet to tap any number to dial his mother.
Ding!
7 7
Ding!
7 7 7
The number increased with every sound.
At the same time, he could feel a strange sensation running down his nose. He wiped it with the back of his palm and a red frothy liquid painted his skin.
"Blood…?! The fudge. Since when does skipping a meal cause a nosebleed?"
Ding, ding, ding!
SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN
There's a saying to never joke with a hungry man, and that right now, Seojin was very, very hungry.
Seojin slammed the phone on the ground.
He kept his head tilted up for a minute until the bleeding stopped. He wiped his nose with his collar and picked the phone back up.
For some reason, the screen remained intact and showed no kind of cracks. The numbers and vibrations had also vanished, and everything returned to normal.
Or at least, until.
Ding!
7
That number appeared on the screen again. Unlike earlier though, it now had those decorative elements.
"This is ridiculous."
Seojin threw the phone across the road.
However, his phone still lit up in the distance, giving off a repetitive sound so loud as though the speaker was placed directly beside his eardrums.
Ding, ding, ding, ding!
Seojin fell on his knees, desperately covering his ears, screaming in pain, and throwing curses in succession.
Ding, ding, ding!
"Dammit, dammit, dammit. It hurts. Shut up…"
As if hearing his pleas, silence filled his ears, though maybe because it was just him going deaf.
Ding!
7
That single number appeared again, but not on the screen. It appeared exactly before his eyes, floating midair, followed by another, and another.
It multiplied endlessly.
Until no matter where he looked, all he could see was an endless sea of number seven.
"Damn it aaaallll!!"