If you want to read 20 Chapters ahead and more, be sure to check out my P-Tang12!!!
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(A/N: Don't forget to give those power stones to Skyrim everyone!)
...
They stood in the dead center of the ring, completely surrounded by twenty thousand cheering fans, entirely clapping their hands and completely soaking in the absolute bizarre, completely magnificent glory of their brand new kayfabe identity. The New Day had officially arrived on Monday Night RAW, and the entire landscape of the tag team division was completely, entirely about to be fundamentally altered by the power of positivity.
As the fans began to absolutely eat up the bizarre but incredibly fun act, the trio continued to enthusiastically dance in the center of the ring. Woods was relentlessly, aggressively playing his shiny brass trombone, completely hitting the upbeat, funky notes of their entrance theme while Big E rhythmically swiveled his massive hips.
At this exact moment, a quick thinking ringside crew member entirely grabbed three live WWE microphones from the timekeeper's area. The crew member dropped to his knees and aggressively slid the microphones completely under the bottom rope, sending them skidding directly across the canvas toward the celebrating trio.
Kofi Kingston, still sporting his incredibly bright plastic unicorn horn, immediately broke from his skipping routine to scoop the microphones up off the mat. With a massive, infectious grin, Kofi kept one mic for himself and entirely tossed the other two directly to Big E and Xavier Woods.
The second the microphones were in their hands, Woods pulled the trombone away from his lips, Big E entirely stopped his hypnotic gyrations, and the upbeat music slowly faded out.
The Amway Center completely fell silent, entirely captivated, waiting to hear exactly what these newly liberated men had to say.
Then Kofi raised his mic first, his voice bright and energized, but with something deeper underneath it too.
"WELL, WELL, WELL…"
The fans gave a huge cheer.
"Look at you people," Kofi said, shaking his head with a grin. "Look at all these beautiful faces clappin', smilin', and feelin' good on a Monday night."
Big E raised the microphone to his lips. The massive, three hundred pound powerhouse entirely dropped his voice into a deep, booming, incredibly theatrical southern preacher cadence that perfectly echoed off the rafters.
"Orlando, Florida!" Big E bellowed, entirely drawing out the vowels with absolute, terrifying conviction. "For entirely too long, your boys have been walking through the absolute valley of the shadow of darkness! We were completely lost! We were entirely misguided! But today... oh, today is a NEW DAY! YES IT IS!"
The crowd completely erupted, instantly latching onto the incredibly catchy catchphrase!
"And you know why that is?" he asked, his voice booming through the building. "Because for the first time in a long time… we are free."
The crowd responded instantly with a loud roar.
Xavier Woods nodded beside him and lifted his mic.
"Free," he repeated. "Not just from him. Not just from the pressure. Not just from the fear. But from everything that came with it. The lies. The manipulation. The emotional abuse. The physical abuse. The constant reminder that no matter how hard we worked, no matter what we gave, it would never be enough for a man like Sandro Zhang."
Kofi then speak again with his boundless energy entirely radiating through the microphone.
"You see, for the last three hundred and seventy six days, we weren't entirely living... we were just surviving," Kofi began, his voice entirely shifting to a tone of genuine, passionate sincerity. "That man treated us like furniture," he said. "Like props. Like background noise. Like we were supposed to stand there and nod and smile while he spent every second trying to break us down piece by piece. We were completely trapped inside a toxic, suffocating, utterly miserable cage!"
The Orlando crowd entirely let out a massive, deafening roar of approval, completely cheering the absolute fact that the three men had finally decided they'd had enough with Sandrop.
"But then," Xavier Woods chimed in, stepping perfectly into the spotlight, his eyes entirely wide with manic energy. "Then, a massive Scottish Psychopath entirely pulled us aside in catering. Drew McIntyre looked us dead in our tired, entirely defeated eyes, and he entirely reminded us of exactly who we are! He reminded us of the brotherhood we used to share! And because of his words, and because of the undeniable, absolute Power of Positivity that we share with each other... we finally entirely snapped those miserable chains!"
That brought the loudest cheer yet.
Cole sounded genuinely happy. "Listen to this crowd! They are loving this!"
Lawler chuckled. "I never thought I'd see the day, but I'm happy for them. Sometimes enough is enough."
"They are completely delusional! This is ridiculous! They were part of the most dominant unit in the company!" JBL shrieked, his face entirely red with pure, unmitigated disgust. "Sandro Zhang gave them the absolute world, and they betrayed him! Now they're out here skipping around in neon pink like absolute court jesters and talking about feelings like this is some kind of self help seminar."
Cole shot back immediately, "JBL, they were trapped in a toxic situation!"
"They were winning!" JBL snapped. "They had influence, power, opportunity!"
"Yeah," Lawler replied, "and they were miserable."
In the ring, Big E entirely nodded his massive head, waving his free hand dismissively toward the entrance stage as if waving away the ghost of the God King.
"You know, people always say that when one chapter ends, another one begins."
Kofi looked over at him and smiled.
"And sometimes that new chapter comes with a little music."
Woods made a face like he had just been handed a perfect opening.
"A little rhythm."
Big E snapped his fingers.
"A little flavor."
Kofi's grin widened.
"And maybe even a few pancakes."
The fans exploded again.
Woods bounced in place. "Don't act like you don't want pancakes!"
Big E looked offended in the most theatrical way possible. "Who in this building does not appreciate pancakes?"
Kofi pointed toward the crowd. "Not these people!"
The crowd roared back in approval, clapping along and laughing all at once.
Then Woods moved forward, his tone a little more grounded again, though the energy never really left him.
"We know what we are," he said. "We know who we were supposed to be. We were supposed to be the soldiers. The background noise. The guys who stayed quiet while the rest of the empire got the spotlight."
He looked to his left, then to his right.
"But we are done letting somebody else decide our destiny."
Big E stepped in immediately.
"I'm a former World Tag Team Champion."
Kofi nodded. "Former Intercontinental Champion."
Woods lifted a finger. "Former NXT Tag Team Champion."
Big E brought the microphone closer.
"And that means something."
The fans responded with a deep, solid wave of cheers.
Big E continued, his voice rising with each word.
"It means we have already climbed mountains before. It means we know what it takes to get to the top and stay there. It means we know what it feels like to hold gold, to defend it, to earn it, and to wear it with pride."
Kofi pointed to himself.
"And now we want it again.
Woods smiled and shook his head in disbelief, as if even he could not believe how good it felt to say it.
"We want to climb again."
Big E raised a hand.
"We want to rise again."
Kofi clapped once.
"And we want to do it the right way this time."
The crowd cheered that line especially hard, because the sincerity behind it cut through the comedy just enough to make the whole thing feel real. This was not just a gimmick. This was not just a joke.
This was three men who had finally broken free from a poisonous grip and were now standing in the middle of the ring deciding what they wanted to become.
Woods looked toward the fans and then toward the hard camera.
"With the power of positivity…"
Big E grinned.
"With pancakes…"
Kofi nodded.
"With music…"
Woods tapped the side of his trombone.
"And with every single one of you clapping, cheering, dancing, and losing your minds with us…"
Big E threw his arms out.
"We are going to do something special."
The crowd was fully with them now.
Big E pointed to the people in the front row.
"You support us here, and you support us at home."
Kofi pointed toward the camera.
"You clap when we win."
Woods smirked.
"You boo when we need you to boo."
Big E laughed.
"And you know what else?"
Kofi and Woods turned toward him.
Big E nodded toward the stage.
"You keep this energy with us, because this journey is only getting started. We aren't just here to dance! We are entirely here to climb the absolute mountain once again! We are completely dedicating ourselves to becoming the single most decorated trio in the entire history of the WWE!"
The Amway Center completely blew the roof off the building! The fans entirely cheered even louder, completely overwhelmed by the sheer, unadulterated charisma and entirely unique energy of the promo. They were funny, they were loud, but they completely meant absolute business.
The upbeat, gospel funk fusion music entirely hit the stadium speakers once again!
The trio completely dropped their microphones and instantly resumed their bizarre, completely infectious dance routine.
Woods aggressively blew the trombone, entirely hitting the notes flawlessly, while Big E violently swiveled his massive hips to the rhythm.
But their celebration was entirely, violently cut off by a heavy, arrogant rock theme hitting the sound system!
The fans entirely shifted their cheers into a chorus of boos as the opponents for their highly anticipated three on three tag team match completely walked out from behind the curtain.
Stepping out onto the stage, completely oozing absolute, toxic arrogance, were the trio of Curt Hawkins, Ted DiBiase Jr., and Cody Rhodes. The three incredibly snobby, highly technical wrestlers marched down the ramp, entirely looking at the New Day in absolute, unmitigated disgust.
They completely hated the skipping, they hated the neon colors, and they absolutely despised the trombone.
"Thank goodness!" JBL yelled in sheer relief on commentary. "Some absolute, genuine professionals are here to completely restore order to Monday Night RAW! Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, and Curt Hawkins are entirely going to wipe those ridiculous smiles completely off their faces!"
"I wouldn't be so sure about that, John!" Cole argued. "The New Day has entirely found a new gear tonight!"
Rhodes, DiBiase, and Hawkins completely slid under the bottom ropes, entirely entering the squared circle. They aggressively backed the New Day into their corner, completely demanding the referee start the match.
Big E, Kofi, and Woods entirely handed their props, the unicorn horns and the trombone, to the ringside crew, completely shifting their demeanor from comedic dancers to entirely focused, elite combat athletes.
The referee completely made sure both teams were entirely ready and violently signaled for the bell.
DING! DING! DING!
The match was entirely intense, incredibly unique, and completely captivating from the absolute opening bell.
Cody Rhodes started the match against Xavier Woods. Cody entirely tried to utilize his elite, technical grappling background, aggressively locking Woods in a tight side headlock.
But Woods, entirely fueled by the Power of Positivity, completely utilized his elite agility. Woods violently shoved Cody off into the ropes, completely dropped down to the mat, leapfrogged over the rebounding Cody, and entirely delivered a devastating, blindingly fast Honor Roll rolling clothesline that completely flattened Rhodes!
The crowd absolutely exploded!
Woods entirely didn't go for the cover. Instead, he completely rolled out of the ring, aggressively grabbed his trombone from the ringside crew, and violently blew a rapid, mocking, incredibly high pitched fanfare note entirely in the face of a completely stunned Curt Hawkins on the ring apron!
"Look at the sheer disrespect!" JBL shrieked, absolutely furious! "He should be disqualified for playing a musical instrument during a sanctioned match!"
"It's called psychological warfare, John!" Lawler laughed hysterically. "He is entirely inside their heads!"
Cody furiously tagged in Ted DiBiase Jr. Ted violently charged into the ring, but Woods entirely made a blind tag to Kofi Kingston. As Ted threw a heavy right hand, Kofi completely ducked it, entirely springboarded off the top rope, and violently delivered a catastrophic flying cross body block that entirely crushed the multi generational superstar!
The New Day's entirely unique chemistry was absolutely on full display. They utilized quick, incredibly fast tags, entirely keeping their opponents entirely off balance.
But the sheer, absolute comedy timing of the New Day was completely woven seamlessly into the intense violence of the bout.
At one point, Kofi Kingston completely backed Curt Hawkins into the New Day's corner. Instead of just delivering standard strikes, Big E, Kofi, and Woods completely initiated what in the future would be called the Unicorn Stampede!
Kofi violently stomped a mudhole into Hawkins' chest. Then he entirely tagged in Woods, who violently stomped Hawkins. Then Woods entirely tagged in Big E, who violently stomped Hawkins!
They completely repeated the incredibly fast sequence over and over again, completely trapping Hawkins in the corner while Xavier Woods actively, aggressively played a fast, upbeat marching tune on his trombone!
"They are completely destroying Curt Hawkins to the absolute rhythm of a trombone!" Cole shouted, completely breathless from laughter and sheer awe. "I have entirely never seen anything like this in the history of Monday Night RAW!"
The match went back and forth, entirely showcasing the elite talents of all six men. Cody Rhodes eventually entirely managed to cut off Kofi Kingston, aggressively trapping the high flyer in the heel corner. Cody, Ted, and Hawkins entirely utilized quick tags of their own, aggressively wearing Kofi down with heavy suplexes and brutal submission holds.
"This is it!" JBL praised wildly. "Cut the ring in half! Keep Kofi entirely away from that massive powerhouse! Break the New Day completely apart!"
But Kofi Kingston was an absolute survivor. Operating entirely on pure adrenaline, Kofi completely managed to dodge a catastrophic Beautiful Disaster kick from Cody Rhodes!
Cody violently crashed onto the canvas, entirely giving Kofi the absolute fraction of a second he needed.
Kofi aggressively lunged forward, entirely diving across the ring and violently slapping the massive, outstretched hand of Big E!
The hot tag was completely made!
Big E entirely exploded into the ring like a completely unhinged freight train!
Ted DiBiase charged forward, but Big E completely caught him around the waist and violently launched him across the ring with a catastrophic Belly to Belly suplex!
Curt Hawkins jumped off the top rope, but Big E completely caught him entirely out of mid air, aggressively transitioning into a second, absolutely massive Belly to Belly suplex!
Big E let out a terrifying, completely primal roar, violently swiveling his hips in the dead center of the ring, completely demanding the crowd to clap along!
Big E completely ran off the ropes, entirely launching his massive, three hundred pound frame into the air, and violently delivered a devastating running splash directly across the chest of Curt Hawkins!
The crowd was completely unglued!
"Big E is completely cleaning house!" Lawler yelled! "The powerhouse of the New Day is absolutely unstoppable!"
Realizing the match was completely slipping away, Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase entirely slid back into the ring to break the momentum. But Xavier Woods and Kofi Kingston were completely ready for them.
Woods aggressively spring boarded off the top rope, completely taking out Cody Rhodes with a devastating flying missile dropkick! Simultaneously, Kofi Kingston entirely completely ducked a clothesline from DiBiase and violently delivered a catastrophic, skull cracking Trouble in Paradise that entirely knocked Ted completely unconscious, sending him entirely tumbling out of the ring!
The ring was completely cleared, leaving only a completely dazed Curt Hawkins entirely at the absolute mercy of the New Day.
Big E grabbed the staggering Curt Hawkins, aggressively lifting him entirely onto his massive right shoulder in the catastrophic Big Ending position. Big E completely looked toward the corner, entirely locking eyes with Kofi Kingston.
Kofi immediately scaled the turnbuckles, completely ascending to the absolute top rope.
"They're setting up for a double team maneuver!" Cole shrieked at the top of his lungs! "We will see the tag team execution that the New Day have prepared for all of us! It's already locked and loaded!"
Kofi Kingston entirely launched his body completely off the top rope, entirely soaring into the humid Orlando sky!
Kofi violently delivered a catastrophic, flying diving DDT directly onto the skull of Curt Hawkins, while Big E simultaneously dropped backward, entirely driving Hawkins completely into the canvas with the devastating power of the Big Ending, which will be knowns as the Midnight Hour in the future.
"WHAT A DEVASTATING MOVE FROM THE TOP!" Cole screamed as the absolutely devastating tag team finisher entirely connected with catastrophic force!
Big E completely hooked the leg of the entirely unconscious Curt Hawkins, entirely pressing his massive weight across his opponent's chest!
The referee dove to the mat!
"ONE!"
"TWO!"
"THREE!"
DING! DING! DING!
The highly energetic, absolutely infectious gospel funk music completely hit the stadium speakers once again!
"Here are your winners... THE NEW DAY!" Justin Roberts announced, his voice completely echoing over the deafening roars of the WWE Universe!
The Orlando crowd entirely exploded into absolute, unmitigated cheers!
The fans entirely clapped along to the beat, completely thrilled by the phenomenal, dominant debut of the newly liberated trio.
Inside the ring, Woods immediately entirely grabbed his trombone, aggressively playing the iconic, incredibly triumphant Final Fantasy victory fanfare directly into the television camera!
Big E violently swiveled his hips, laughing hysterically, while Kofi entirely strapped his bright plastic unicorn horn back onto his head.
"What an absolutely phenomenal debut!" Cole praised wildly. "The New Day has completely arrived, and they have entirely put the entire tag team division on absolute notice!"
"I absolutely hate it!" JBL entirely grumbled, violently crossing his arms over his chest. "This is a complete mockery of professional wrestling!"
"Oh, lighten up, John!" Lawler laughed. "They are having the absolute time of their lives, and the fans completely love it!"
As the New Day aggressively celebrated their massive victory, entirely dancing their way completely up the incredibly long entrance ramp, the broadcast completely transitioned away from the tag team ranks.
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Name: Alessandro Zhang
Age: 21 (2011)
Birthplace: Orlando, Florida, USA
Brand: WWE - RAW
Wrestling Style: Mixed Of All Styles
Faction: The Undisputed System
Championships History: 1x FCW Tag Team Champions, 1x FCW Florida Heavyweight Champion, 1x TNA World Heavyweight Champion, 1x TNA X Division Champion, 1x WWE United States Champion, 1x WWE Champion, & 1x World Heavyweight Champion
Other Achievements: 1x Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royale Winner, 1x Mr. Money In The Bank, Youngest WWE Champion, PWI Top 500 (No.1) - 2010, & 1x KOTR (2010)
Wrestlemania Record: 2 - 0 Main Event: 1 - 0